This would be funny...if it wasn't so pathetic

[Hutch]

As a friend of mine said, "Evolution has stopped, 'cause we ain't got enough fool-killers left".

Even the military does it. On a Claymore mine: "This side towards enemy"

 

[Deanimator]

My favorite:

 

[Blackbeard]

The warnings are all there because at one time or another, some idiot actually did what the label is telling you not to do.

Not only did they do the stupid thing, but they sued the company and won.

One time a guy tried to use his push mower to trim his hedges....by picking it up by the deck while it's running. He lost the ends of eight fingers. He sued and won because there was no warning not to use the mower that way.

 

[v8stang289]

In the owners manual for my PT1911 it says:

Warning:
Securing your firearm may inhibit access to it in a defense situation and result in injury or death.

Warning:
Failure to properly secure a firearm may result in injury or death.


I guess they have to cover themselves from both sides........

 

[bender]

lol, I remember all those Dan Ackroyd SNL unsafe toy skits...

I bought something minor at Home Depot several years ago, a box of nails or a screwdriver, I can't remember. Anyway, it said something like Warning: improper use could result in injury or death...

hmmm... the spell checker is suggesting "cockroach"... for Ackroyd...

 

[romma]

High Point Statement: Warning This Firearm May Fail To Fire In A Defensive Situation Or May Explode...

 

[ZeSpectre]

Box of toothpicks - Warning, do not insert into eye

 

[Deanimator]

lol, I remember all those Dan Ackroyd SNL unsafe toy skits...

Steve Martin once put out a little book of essays called Pure Drivel
. In it is a chapter on warnings on medicine bottles. He made up a bunch of medicinal warnings of his own. I think one of them might have been, "Warning. May cause lycanthropy in some users..."

 

[jcoiii]

I can't tell ya'll how many times I woke up at night...and i was doing my hair

But what if Barbie skated through a pool of gasoline?

 

[fletcher]

That kid looks really happy about shooting himself in the eye Also, does that exclamation say "PAW!" for the gun firing?

 

[TheArchDuke]

I saw a warning sticker one time that said "For indoor and outdoor use only."

...uuuummmmmmm

 

[cnorman18]

Limits

On a bag of unshelled peanuts:

"WARNING: Remove shell before eating."


As Albert Einstein once said: "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits."

 

[MASTEROFMALICE]

I just looked at my furniture dolly. It says,

"NOT FOR HIGHWAY USE."

Someone, somewhere, used a furniture dolly as a trailer.

 

[Bazooka Joe71]

They're trying to cut down on the number of Darwin Award winners, I guess...

Why?

 

[The Viking]

I've seen the "May contain nut" on a bag of peanuts over here as well. Warning stickers on our old pellet gun as well. Hell to remove.

 

[ilbob]

Actually. Some people sleep with hairdryers to provide warmth. It's weird (and creepy), and dangerous, but it's not uncommon.

I never slept with one on, but I admit to having used one to warm the sheets up before going to bed.

 

[jh9x18ky]

One of my favorites.... I am a car guy btw.... On fan belts for vehicles... Do not attempt to install with engine running.... Can anyone say DUHHH!!!! And a previous post was correct, for every warning label, you can bet there has been at least a few law suits.... And you cant blame only the person filing the suit, you have to blame the JURY for awarding them the case and the money. Who sits on the jury.... we do, common people.

 

[Seancass]

i LOVE the Surface Hot warning in BRAILLE! thats too awsome!

one of my favorites is "Product may contain tree nuts" on a package of Famous Amos Cookies. please think of the poor poor tree.

 

[Gunblade]

Not a real drug, but does have a ring of truth...

Jeff Foxworthy: I remember when I was a kid, there were two medicines: aspirin and Campho-Phenique, that was it. But they advertise these prescriptions, and half the time, the side effects are 50 times worse than what the thing cures! It's like, "Try new Flor-A-Flor. For itchy, watery eyes, it's Flor-A-Flor. Side effects may include: nausea, vomiting, water weight gain, lower back pain, receding hairline, eczema, seborrhea, psoriasis, itchy chafing clothing, liver spots, blood clots, ringworm, excessive body odor, uneven tire wear, pyorrhea, gonorrhea, diarrhea, halitosis, scoliosis, loss of bladder control, hammertoes, the shanks, low sperm count, warped floors, cluttered drawers, hunchback, heart attack, low resale value on your home, feline leukemia, athlete's foot, head lice, club foot, MS, MD, VD, fleas, anxiety, sleeplessness, drowsiness, poor gas mileage, tooth decay, split ends, parvo, warts, unibrow, lazy eye, fruit flies, chest pains, clogged drains, hemorrhoids, dry heaving, and sexual dysfunction." I'm like, "I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!"

 

[230RN]

Saw this on one of the above sites:

Instructions for an electric thermometer:
Do not use orally after using rectally.

Oh, 5hit !



What a thread! It's Friday PM and folks are wondering why I'm gasping for air in my cubicle.... I'm trying to not laugh out loud ... MMMmmfff! MmmmmFFF!

 

[Avenger]

The best I ever saw was the following:

"Caution Hot Surface"

In Braille.

On the metal face of an iron.

Couldn't believe it.

Oh, and on the OT: You also risk injury or death by living. What's the big deal?

I told that one to my brother about five minutes ago. He's STILL on the floor, his ribs are probably sore as hell, and I just discovered that I can start him laughing all over again just by saying the word "Braille".

 

[jcoiii]

the braille on the iron is even better than braille on drive up ATMs

 

[xpun8]

I told that one to my brother about five minutes ago. He's STILL on the floor, his ribs are probably sore as hell, and I just discovered that I can start him laughing all over again just by saying the word "Braille".

you suck! My ribs were just getting back to a point where they didn't hurt...then you have to post this. Thanks man, I may have permanent rib damage. I will say that in this case there isn't much that separates your brother and I. I honestly don't think that braille is a funny word, but given the context here...it's funny, funny cuz it's insane.

 

[akattack]

magsnubby
Senior Member




This would be funny...if it wasn't so pathetic
I was wonder around a local gun store today, not really looking for anything special, when a big bright sticker on a simi auto caught my attention. So i take a closer. It was a Hi Point 9mm. The sticker read:

WARNING:YOU RISK INJURY OR DEATH BY HANDLING THIS FIREARM.

I just kind of stood there a minute. I didn't know weather to laugh or just shake my head in disgust. So i did a little bit of both. Any one else ever saw anything like that before? In today's world,all the time.

 

[Sylvan-Forge]

apollosmith, hilarious!