When to tell my kids????

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Spot77

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I have a couple of handguns, locked in a digital safe in my bedroom. I also have two kids, ages 6 and 3. Both kids have been taught to never touch the safe, and should they EVER see it open for any reason, to get a grown up immediately (I can't think of any reason why or how that could happen, but they needed to learn that anyway).

Now, the kids know to stay away, but they don't know why yet. They do not know that we have guns. My daughter knows a little about gun safety; i.e. don't EVER touch one if you see one. You know, the usual stuff that kids are taught in school.

But when, and how do I tell tem what's in the safe? I don't live in a very "gun friendly" area, and my wife is NOT into guns at all, although she does go to the range with me once in a while.

I would really appreciate some advice from THR'ers who have been through this with their children.

And of course, any advice from non-parents is greatly appreciated.
 
It probably depends on your exact situation and how disciplined your kids are. I never avoided telling or showing my kids. They grew up to know that Dad has guns. Dad has tennis raquets... it was no big deal.

They could see my guns and I would educate them as they asked. They are basically grown now and both are proficient with handguns and rifles.

My opinion is that if you "hide" them or make them out to be some secret... they will eventually figure it out and then they will be hell bent on "checking them out" while you aren't around.

Yes, I did keep them inaccessible (and I explained that too when asked). I never once worried that they'd try to gain access to my guns,,,, no more than they would grab the keys to my car and try and drive it.

I am sure there will be excellent advice forthcoming.

Stay safe! (And keep your family safe too!)

Logistar
 
Go to the Professionals

I think the NRA has a guide about that subject.


Although I'm young and don't have kids....
When you know the time is right....
Start with Eddie Eagle video , (it was $10 back in 1998) and then talk to them straightforward.

You could order Brasco Buddies from the JPFO and cut some of the pages out and use them too.

Talk about alot of things, Matches, Knives and Guns....Not good or bad but tools to do things...
 
A close friend has a 9 yr old Daughter and a 7 yr old son. He has a small collection of different guns that he has never hidden from the kids. He just bought his son a Red Ryder BB gun last Christmas. He keeps it locked away with all the other guns. When Christian (son) ask to go out shooting Doug gets the BB gun out and takes him shooting. We've taken him out with us when we shoot 22's and let him shoot.He went hunting with us once last season, matter of fact he spotted deer Doug didn't even see. That boy won't touch a gun until Doug gives him permission.
 
[My opinion is that if you "hide" them or make them out to be some secret... they will eventually figure it out and then they will be hell bent on "checking them out" while you aren't around.]

Yeah, I have always STRONGLY supported this idea. Even long before I was a gun owner, I believed education takes the mystery out of guns to children.

But it seems really hard to practice what I preach. I'll have to have a loooooong talk with my wife so we can come to an agreement about this. I think she's a bit embarrased by owning guns since she's been such a strong anti all her life. And I think she's afraid of our kids telling their friends (well not so much our THREE year old, yet!), although I'm not sure why.

Thanks for the info so far guys. I'm still looking forward to what everybody has to say.
 
What I did...

When the kid started playing with toy guns/squirt guns, I started teaching him about the 4 rules. The context was, here's how you handle real guns. When he could deal with them, I took him shooting.
 
Seeing as how I grew up with hunting and general plinking I've tried to be very open with my two sons. Now granted They are only 2 and a half and 1 but I figure I better start on them that guns are ok as soon as possible before someone else tells them they aren't. Whenever I'm cleaning out any of them my oldest will ask what I'm doing and ask what different things are. So I try to have him learn about them while also trying to instill the 4 major rules in him(albeit slowly). So far he's learned that he should only shoot animals, which for now (since he is only 2 1/2) is good enough for me.
 
Only secrets are mysterious.

Kids will go out of their way to solve their own personal mysteries.

Show them the guns, make an offer to them...If they EVER want to see or touch one of daddy's guns, ask, and you will drop WHATEVER you are doing, no matter what, and show them.

And when they get old enough, you will take them shooting any time they ask, within one week or less from the time they ask.

All of this in exchange for NEVER touching a gun when daddy is not a round, and for never telling their friends about daddy's guns.

Once a child is shown, and allowed to touch a gun, the mystery is gone, and they are on to the next thing, like "what is in the big jar on top of the fridge".

I am pretty young still, and have no kids...However, this is how my dad had done it for me, it is what I have done for my little sister, and what I will do for MY kids.
 
I have 2- 11 yo's and one 5yo. I always keep the guns locked up however. If thay want to look, touch, shoot, they only have to say the word, The 4 rules are second nature to the older two and the lil' one is learning quick. There are no "toy guns" at our house. All guns are treated real weather they fire .45 acp or shoot water or caps...the 4 rules always apply.
 
Destroy the mystique. Show it to them and offer to let them see it anytime they want. No mystique, no attraction. Be sure you tell them not to say anything to anyone about it though.
 
I didn't get concerned about teaching them anything about guns until they were old enough to go to friends houses on their own (maybe 1st or 2nd grade). Mine were secured. If they even knew they existed they were kept "inaccessable &/or inoperable" to anyone that may get to them (regardless of age). My greatest concern was them coming in contact with one at someone elses house.

I remember a few times as a child going to another kids house and them pulling open a drawer and showing me a gun. Thankfully we had the good sence to leave them alone. So at first it was the very basic instruction - never touch it - if you see one come straight home & tell Mom or Dad - you won't be in trouble.

As they showed more interest in them (maybe around 8 to 10 years old or so), I'd let them see them - touch them - explained how they worked. My kids never did show much interest in them. In fact they never shot "a real one" until their early teens. Occassionally I'd drag out my old BB gun and we'd shoot it when they were younger - but they'd get pretty bored with it after a short while.

They are now in their early 20's. We go shooting occassionally, but they really aren't "into" guns - and I don't try to push it on them. They enjoy it for a couple of hours and that's about it. Dispite this apparent lack of interest though, they seem to be more knowledgable than their peers about them - especially safe handling. To this day though, my guns stay "inaccessable &/or inoperable" to anyone that may get to them (regardless of age).
 
When my kids were growing up I decided it was important that they were computer literate. I introduced my daughter to the computer, showed her all I could. She seemed bored and to this day is practically computer illiterate.

Meanwhile my son (seeing me show his 4 year older sister how to use the computer) asked if I would show him. The computer was a big investment for me at the time and I thought that he might break it so I told him he was too young and I would show him when he got older.

To make a long story short, he would sneak in and play with it anyway. - probably because he was curious about the mysterious forbidden computer.

That's kinda my point. Let them see it and teach them about it and they are less likely to "play" with it. I feel bad now about turning my son down.

(Of course my son is now working as a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer and my Daughter doesn't have a job!:rolleyes: :D)
 
Eddie EAgle Video and popcorn.
Water pistol and 4 rules
No secrets, anytime allow to ask questions.
BB guns, take them out

Take to range and meet others that shoot--dispels that garbage in school about only 'bad men" gangs, thugs, etc use guns. Especially if a kids fun shoot is going on. Lemonade, hot dogs fun and even if the kids only shoot a BBgun or a 22lr...it teaches by example. We always had a fun but serious 4 rules /Eddie Eagle/ question and answer part too. Warning- we adults had more fun and warm fuzzy's watching kids learn and shoot. ;)
 
I told my son not too long after he asked for his first toy gun. I also told him that if he ever wanted to touch my guns to just ask & we'd handle them together. Over the years, he's asked a few times and never once tried to get into them w/o me.
He also knew that if he ever came across an unattended, unlocked firearm at a friends house, to leave that house.
 
I can't even count the number of the "why this or what's that" questions my son asked about guns when he was 3. He would go to the range with me and his job was to wipe the guns down after I cleaned them. I had to do it again, but he was happy. By the time he was 6 he was hunting squirrels with me using his .22lr Marlin that I had cut the stock down for him.
He was always exposed to firearms so I started teaching him as soon as he showed interest. Every child is different, but when they show interest and began to learn and follow rules I think they are ready for introduction to firearms.
 
I too, side with the education them while they're young crowd.

I have a 6 and 4 year old. They know about guns and the 6 year old has held them and I have shown him how to use the scope, iron sites and to not touch them EVER unless I'm around, never "sweep" anyone with it, never touch the trigger, etc. He also knows the difference between empty shells and loaded cartridges and to tell me if he ever sees a gun or cartridge ... at home or some other place. The 4 year old is a step or two behind that, because of his age and has less of an interest at this point.

We do not buy them "real looking" toy guns, however, they do have Super Soakers and several other funky colored squirt guns. Sounds kind of harsh, but I don't want them accidently mistaking them for the real thing. We also have them trained to know that "Daddy doesn't any TOY guns". Sounds kind of strange, probably, but it seems to work with them ... and they're sort of proud of that.

I did have a case of a neighbor boy (5 or 6) finding a stripped down M1 Garand in my closet (was refinishing stock) .. trigger assembly was removed, bolt out, etc. and telling his parents about it. They are "anti's" .. oh well. Some people just don't get it.

Another note is to keep ammo and guns in separate locations. I find I sleep easier at night knowing that that is the case.

I have to admit, I'm a bit unsure of "where to go from here" myself regarding them, although, I do have a BB Gun put away for them already.

Rusty
 
It kind of like Italians and wine. Italians serve their children a little wine at meals (just a taste really) and what the experience does is take the grown up mystery out of it. Italy has a very low rate of drinking among kids and adults -- probably for this reason. I think if you sat down with them, showed the guns, let them hold them (empty of course...;) ) and talk to them about the dangers of guns -- it'll take the mystery out of this too. You'll probably find that once they've had a chance to handle them and ask questions -- their curiousity will be satisfied.
 
My nephews are 3 and 6. Last father's day weekend I was showing my stuff (G19, P229, 870) to my dad and the boys walked in. I asked them if they knew what they are and what to do if they see them. The older one answered, "Guns. Don't touch it. Get an adult." I asked them again and this time they both answered, "Guns. Don't touch it. Get an adult." Then older one looked at me like I was a dumb@$$ for insulting his intelligence by asking again (kids gotta love 'em)! Looks like my dad already educated them. :D
They asked if they could hold them. I let both of them hold the 870 and G19 (unloaded of course and w\my dad's hands on supervision). My dad has a pretty extensive collection of WW2 firearms and the boys spend weekends at their house. The boys know the deal. IMHO, the sooner you tell them what the score is, the better. Kids are a curious and innovative lot! Better to 'unravel the mystery' and educate 'em now. Who knows, they might think 'big deal' and never go near the safe anyway b\c they like their Stars Wars laser blaster better then your SIG, Glock, Kimber, 1911 or whatever you have in there. Just my .02 since you asked.:)
 
As others have said,of course it depends on the kids.I started my kids very early,about 3 or so,as soon as i was confident they would understand,and taught gun safety,then as soon as i thought it would not "scare" them(recoil,noise...)i took them to the range.
I also hunt,and the kids have always seen my harvests,i belive that has helped,ie,guns = death if not careful.
 
At some point you have to counter hollywoods lies and show them the destructive finality of guns. I took my kids to the range and shot a couple shaken up soda's for them to see. Then picked up the split can and gave it to them to 'fix it' 'make it better'. "I can't". Then told them 'thats what'll happen to your brother if you shoot him accidently' and that 'TV's not real, this is real'.

I used a .223 for this purpose and just waited until they were older to talk ballistics to them. Somehow, I thought it would be poor form to try to tell a kid that handguns are lacking in power.
 
Generally very good advice given here.

Granted, I grew up in a different time (long ago) but I was raised to RESPECT firearms but not to be AFRAID of them. Safe gun handling, marksmanship and adult supervision were all part of the package. Guns were left out in the open - some loaded, some not and doors left unlocked. As a kid, I recall no incidents of a kid "accidently" shooting somebody with a "carelessly" stored firearm. We were pretty much all raised that if you touched a gun without an adult present, Dad would beat the crap out of you and THAT was something to be afraid of. Alas, with today's laws, Dad would be in double trouble for not locking his guns up and spanking a child.

Teach them to respect and enjoy firearms and that will take the mystery out of it.

Either which way, safe gun storage is a must and I am glad you are doing it. Times change - when I grew up we didn't wear foam helmets when riding a bicycle.
 
$5 + shipping:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...102-7902017-8245742?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

short useful book, read it, and lend it to anyone else with kids (even if they don't have guns, kids can still see guns else where).

5yr old knows the difference between my guns (fire guns to him) and his guns (toys). He also knows he can see them and hold them if he asks me, but if I'm not around and ever sees one (mine, not that I leave them unlocked, or some where else) to get an adult. He also knows not to put your finger in the trigger or point it at anyone when I let him hold unloaded one. Now he is not that curious, he wants to hold it sometimes when he sees me cleaning them, then after about 5 seconds of holding it with his finger off the trigger pointed at a wall, he gets board... :)
 
In my house, its no big deal. If they want to see one, all they have to do is ask, they dont very often (mainly just when I bring a new one home). They cant recite the four rules, but they are obeyed with waterguns, firearms, drills, and everyting between.
 
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