Louisville, Ky.: Hi, Prudence!
I have an in-law problem that I really need advice on. First, my father-in-law (I'll call him Paul) is a big gun nut. He loves his weapons. Paul and my mother-in-law really want to our pre-school twins over to spend time with them. I've asked about making sure that the guns are all locked up, and have been assured that all the weapons are in the basement, where the kids aren't allowed to go. My husband says that although Paul's a nice guy, he doesn't trust him not to have loaded weapons somewhere. And, knowing my boys, they can and will go anywhere in an instant. My in-laws refuse to lock up the basement because of the cats. They swear they can keep the boys away from the guns. But they've promised things and failed to follow up on them before. What do I do?
Emily Yoffe: Curious boys, distracted grandparents, and loaded guns. Need one say any more other than, "calling the Lifetime channel." You need to tell your in-laws that of course you want them to have a great relationship with your children. And you want to feel calm and comfortable when you leave your kids with them. That's why they need to invest in a gun safe and promise that every weapon will be unloaded and locked in the safe before the kids visit. Tell them unless they agree—and show you that the firearms are completely secured—then they are welcome to come see the kids at your house, but the kids will not be visiting theirs.