Dear Winchester,
I am writing to you in disgust at the unveiling of your “new” cartridge, the .270 Winchester.
I have it on good authority that this Emporer’s New Clothes is little more (and by that I mean petite sized) round formulated from the .30-03. How dare you sirs, in adolescent disrespect, introduce some shiny new Wowchester to the world? You stand on the shoulders of giants and carve a sliver of a wimpy round from the .30-03 and suddenly everything is new...
I feel you ought to promote this “new” wunderkind as the .30 cal slim for ladies for truth in advertising’s sake and please please please do us the courtesy of creating an XXL action, perhaps Uber Magnum (but without the case length or girth) and give it a 10” bolt stroke for slow manipulation afield. The world does not need shorter actions, it needs longer arms.
Surely your nothing new metallic cartridge, and how many of those do we already bear the weight of, is as earth shattering as a mouse fart in the woods. Little doubt it will have fanboys who tout its real world effectiveness, though ethical sportsman see this elk tickler for what it is; an over-hyped SQUIRREL GUN! My age, anecdotal experience, and sense of self-righteousness speak volumes on the dangers of yet another bespoke cartridge in our age of enlightenment wherein ballistics tout the benefits of one size fits all.
I don’t like it one bit and I like even less the idea of those who would choose such an illegitimate cartridge speaking any sort of praise for it. To circumvent all previous arms is a path born of sheer ignorance and malice. Could truer words be ever penned than my own?
Finally I emplore you, sirs to give up this fools errand lest your marketing department bastardize yet another round, perhaps the already anemic 30-06- itself another abomination born of the great .30-03- and turn it too into some further diluted, abbreviated .30 caliber cartridge. Do not belittle you great name giving in to temptation to produce another .308 size Winchester that does almost as much as one that already exists.
Regards,
Scrooge McCudgeon