I would like to know about experiences, that women who carry, have had with dating. How has your choice to CCW been received by men that you are interested in or have dated? Would you say there still is a cultural bias out there about women ie passivity=feminine? I've heard remarks by men in WY that women who carry "don't need a man", along with the usual snickers about sexual preference. I admire anyone, man or woman who decides to develop the skills and get their CCW. Is there still enough of a cultural bias to be problematic for single gals?
Women CCWs and Dating
- Thread starter bearmgc
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CAS700850
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I cannot speak directly to the question, as I have been married too long to know the dating scene, plus CCW was illegal in Ohio during my datingyears. However, I know that female cops I work with often have difficulty due to the same bias on the whole "woman with a gun" issues. I have heard guys joke about female cops that they are concerned about making a move only to end up shot instead of rejected.
Flyboy
Member
Guess they're dating the wrong guys. I know more than a few guys who'd be seriously turned on by a confident, responsible woman who stands up for herself, myself enthusiastically included.
'Specially if she has the good sense to carry a 1911!
'Specially if she has the good sense to carry a 1911!
SpookyPistolero
Member
I always said that I would know true love when a woman walked in and nonchalauntly(sp?) took off her pistol that I didn't even know was there and put it on a table. Self-reliance is incredibly attractive going either direction, I think.
Fly320s
Member
This is not an answer to your question, but here is my opinion.
I, too, have been out of the dating environment for a few years now. But lately, my wife has been impressing me with her situational awareness (condition yellow instead of white). Her actions make me proud to be her husband.
I want my wife to have confidence and strength. I want my wife to be smart enough and capable enough to take care of herself and others if needed. If my wife ever chooses to CCW, then I will support her fully, and I'll be happy to do so.
Now, to answer your question. Yes, there is still a bias. Yes, there are and always will be men who think women are in need of a man to take care of them. There are women who feel the same way.
If I was dating again, a woman with a CCW would get a higher rating on the score sheet, but there are many more factors that are more important to me than that.
I, too, have been out of the dating environment for a few years now. But lately, my wife has been impressing me with her situational awareness (condition yellow instead of white). Her actions make me proud to be her husband.
I want my wife to have confidence and strength. I want my wife to be smart enough and capable enough to take care of herself and others if needed. If my wife ever chooses to CCW, then I will support her fully, and I'll be happy to do so.
Now, to answer your question. Yes, there is still a bias. Yes, there are and always will be men who think women are in need of a man to take care of them. There are women who feel the same way.
If I was dating again, a woman with a CCW would get a higher rating on the score sheet, but there are many more factors that are more important to me than that.
I've been off the market too long to answer that directly, but listening to my single friends chatter, I have to believe that, yes, there's still a bias.
Of course plenty of guys say they'll go ga-ga over a woman who likes firearms. Most of them are telling the truth as much as they know it, but there's still a pretty strong component of, " ... as long as I'm still the primary source of all tactical & equipment knowledge." This is based on anecdotal evidence only -- second hand anecdotal evidence from the women who've moved on -- but it's such a recurring theme that I suspect there's probably some merit in it.
pax
There is nothing a man of good sense dreads in a wife so much as her having more sense than himself. -- Henry Fielding
Of course plenty of guys say they'll go ga-ga over a woman who likes firearms. Most of them are telling the truth as much as they know it, but there's still a pretty strong component of, " ... as long as I'm still the primary source of all tactical & equipment knowledge." This is based on anecdotal evidence only -- second hand anecdotal evidence from the women who've moved on -- but it's such a recurring theme that I suspect there's probably some merit in it.
pax
There is nothing a man of good sense dreads in a wife so much as her having more sense than himself. -- Henry Fielding
DelayedReaction
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Speaking as a single guy right in the middle of the dating scene, I would be more inclined to date someone after I discovered she carried. And heck, I wouldn't even mind if she knew more about guns than I did.
It would just give me another excuse to learn more.
It would just give me another excuse to learn more.
CatsDieNow
Member
Are we having a symposium on the mysteries of female behavior today?
I am single (this is not an invitation for anyone to PM me with dating requests). Male attitude on my CCW has ranged from disinterested to impressed. I don't date antis.
Men like to be the protectors. I see no harm in humoring or encouraging them as long as they recognize that I am capable of, and ultimatly responsible for, taking care of myself. Heck, I prefer it when they protect me from such things as those big, nasty spiders.
I have suspected that some men are intimidated in some way by me - height, intellegence, motorcycle, knowledge of sports, national fencing championship, etc. This usually indicates low self-esteem and a feeling of inadaquacy. The ones that can recognize my individual strengths, and don't feel the need to compete with me on those things, are the ones that I prefer.
I will admit that some women forget that this is a two-way street.
I am single (this is not an invitation for anyone to PM me with dating requests). Male attitude on my CCW has ranged from disinterested to impressed. I don't date antis.
Men like to be the protectors. I see no harm in humoring or encouraging them as long as they recognize that I am capable of, and ultimatly responsible for, taking care of myself. Heck, I prefer it when they protect me from such things as those big, nasty spiders.
I have suspected that some men are intimidated in some way by me - height, intellegence, motorcycle, knowledge of sports, national fencing championship, etc. This usually indicates low self-esteem and a feeling of inadaquacy. The ones that can recognize my individual strengths, and don't feel the need to compete with me on those things, are the ones that I prefer.
I will admit that some women forget that this is a two-way street.
CDN, I didn't post with female behavior specifically in mind. Actually, I was more interested in male behavior, specifically responses to females carrying CCW. I think Pax summed up what I was suspecting... that theoretically, many men may say its great to have a gal who can defend herself, who carries CCW, but in their hearts, there may be reservations or qualify that the man be the chief "holder of tactical knowledge." Its great to hear from so many THR's, who are proud of their gals' skills and independance.
Standing Wolf
Member in memoriam
I'm whole-heartedly in favor of people—male, female, and undecided—keeping and bearing arms.
Bulldozer
Member
I've dated women who carried and were proficient. It was very reassuring knowing they could handle themselves and I was their "back-up." Likewise, it was very nice for me to know I had a partner who could be counted on to back me up too.
Having been married now for a little over a year, I am out of the dating scene, but I would say that in my social circle, it'd be a HUGE plus. More importnat even than culinary skills.
Having been married now for a little over a year, I am out of the dating scene, but I would say that in my social circle, it'd be a HUGE plus. More importnat even than culinary skills.
HankB
Member
I don't understand how a rational man would have a problem with a confident woman who has the good sense to take responsibility for her own safety by carrying a gun she knows how to use.
(As long as she doesn't beat him too badly at the range! )
(As long as she doesn't beat him too badly at the range!
)
CatsDieNow
Member
bear,
I pretty much agree with her.
I was refering to the multiple "women and guns" threads today, not specifically yours.
I pretty much agree with her.
I was refering to the multiple "women and guns" threads today, not specifically yours.
Tom Servo
Member
I sometimes see similar things. I was at the range last week (ladies' night), and an attractive redhead was shooting in the next lane. I instantly developed a crush on her because 1) she was shooting a Sig P229 and 2) she was pulling better groups than I was. Did I mention she was a redhead?
Anyhow, a couple of guys walked up and were standing just a couple of feet behind her, muttering away. I guess it started annoying her, and I heard her say, "damn, flinched on that one." Sure enough, there was one flyer about 5" below the black. One of the guys stepped up and said, "you know, I could help with..."
She leaned over and looked at his target (4' tall one with ski-hat guy holding a hostage), and the guy's group, if you could call it that, was about two feet in diameter. She smiled and told him he needed more work before he presumed to give advice. Ahhh...shot down in flames. It was a beautiful thing to see.
BTW, if anyone here happens to be a redhead who was shooting at Ed's in Marietta last Tuesday, I was the guy to your left with the CZ75 in the Slashdot T-shirt, and yes, I'm single!
Seriously, if I were dating someone who was a better shot than me, great. We'd have a couple of things in common, and hey, going shooting sounds like a GREAT 2nd-date idea. Plus, it'd be nice to be with someone who I know can take care of themself.
I'd feel like a gigolo dating a woman for access to her reloading bench, ammo supply, and range membership, but I'd get over it. 
Seriously, I'm pretty lucky. My wife understands there is no ridding me of a serious gun habit and I get a large room in our new house to devote to it.
Seriously, I'm pretty lucky. My wife understands there is no ridding me of a serious gun habit and I get a large room in our new house to devote to it.kayak bum
Member
I initially asked my current girl friend out, in part, due to the NRA life member sticker on her car.
dasmi
Member
That'd be me.
HankB
Member
Wow . . . how badly did she beat him?
Actually, the ideal woman not only CCWs and knows how to use it, but reloads her own ammo, too . . . and really, really prefers reloading to shooting.
We'd make a perfect couple . . .
Tom Servo
Member
Maybe that's the problem! Here I've been thinking it was the Boba Fett underoos...
Model520Fan
Member
Yeah, but I'll bet that ------- threw it AWAY from her, not AT her, or anywhere near her.
Pilgrim
Member
I am re-entering the 'dating' scene after years of marriage went in the tank. I would have no problem dating a lady who carrys. I have two close friends whose wives shoot, and one is a really good shot. I enjoy shooting with her.
I taught my 20 year old granddaughter to shoot when she was 17. She is a good shooting companion and we finish our range days with a man vs woman shoot off using steel targets. She is getting good and she pushes me hard. From time to time she beats me, and it makes me proud.
Pilgrim
I taught my 20 year old granddaughter to shoot when she was 17. She is a good shooting companion and we finish our range days with a man vs woman shoot off using steel targets. She is getting good and she pushes me hard. From time to time she beats me, and it makes me proud.
Pilgrim
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