You Know You're a Mall Ninja If...

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-you have read every work by Dick Marcinko...and believe it.
-you have a Ranger 'tab' and jump wing decals on the back of your car...but never joined the military
-you are on the mailing list for every tactical catalog out there...including Ranger Joe's, Diamondback, U.S. Cavalry, et. al.
-all your 'military' buddies your real friends never met are either Marine Snipers, Navy Seals, PJ's or Delta.
-you claim the police academy rejected your application because you thought they were too soft.
 
I didn't realize so many of you folks worked mall security. :neener: :evil: :p :D

Thinks that the difference between a Mall seizure and a Grand Mal Seizure is whether the shoplifter had one bag or two of stolen merchandise.
 
If 'Plan A' involves taking multiple .308 rounds to the back.

Edit:
Oops., Didn't read all prececing posts befoer posting. BobtheTomato beat me to it.
 
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O.M.F.G. !!!

Is this a$$clown for real!?

BTW, I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18″ bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and “catch the rounds” while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire. The problem, of course, is when I have to turn my back to run, and then the problem crops up.
Click to expand...
 
when you're on a first name basis with the cashiers at Cinnabon and the Dick's gun counter, whose products often cross paths in your own shopping bag.
 
S.C.O.C...

...'omputer, walls, floor and dog...

Glocularat/&*()(&!...

...coffee-puke everywhere...:evil: glocurat.......:barf:

...seriouslyfunnyfoto...:cuss:
 
You carry a gun, a spare mag, two knives, a cell phone, Surefire, OC, a Bug - oh - oops - never mind.

It's ok if the gun is a 9 mm - you ain't a ninja yet.

-

You won't go to a nice restaurant unless you can get a tactically well situated table thus ruining some big occasion for your spouse and kids.

Your biggest fear if arrested is the cavity search.

If there is a riot in the bad neighborhood miles away from your house - you run outside , with your AR, to rally the neighbors to block the street with the guns you distributed to them. Just in case.

You sat through 4 years of college thinking those equations in the physics text came from the Liberals and the communist manifesto. If conservatives wrote the book - you wouldn't have gotten a "D" on the test.

You are a CS major - that's the guy in the picture. Clint Smith describe him in his column once.
 
You have no sense of humor in tactical ninja threads.:D
 
I dont have any to add as I am quite the noob but its hilarious folks.. my favorite so far:

1) is the 2x4 simulation of a .50
2) The internet guy in full gear
3) If it takes five minutes to unbuckle everything to use the urinal...


:D
 
wood-
kevlar doesn't stop high power (or well, in general too for the most part) rifle rounds. Depending on rating they will stop assorted types of handgun and shotgun, just what calibers will depend on the rating.

To stop rifle rounds you need a ballistic plate insert which usualy (always?) is made from some form of ceramic material.
 
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