What's the difference between a 40 cal and a 10 mm
Here's an example: full version found here:
https://www.sellierbellot.us/products/pistol-and-revolver-ammunition/pistol-and-revolver-cartridges/
Though it does not encapsulate every manufacturer ever, it provides an idea, if the OP has asked with genuine interest.
Why are people hard over for one or against either?
There is so much internet hype. Gun marketing exists to sell guns (and ammo). Gun manufacturers want to sell the feeling of power to the purchaser, in whatever incremental benefit that may entail, regardless of potential detriments. Every caliber comparison thread ever exists because of the comparison of power.
The for/against arguments are the same, old, tired ones. It's not like things have changed. Here's a list to research and compare if there is genuine interest.
Action/Frame size (and shooter's hand size, 1911 style vs aluminum framed vs polymer vs 80's and 90's defunct manufacturers )
Capacity for said frame
Firearm and ammo Availability (handloading component availability)
Firearm and ammo cost differences
Ammo velocity (barrel length: 4"vs 5" test barrels, powder capacity, Large pistol vs small pistol primers)
Velocity window for hollowpoint projectiles
Casehead strength as it relates to primer size
Relative recoil as it relates to putting shots on target and follow up shots.
The word "niche"
The most ubiquitous caliber issued to LEO's for 20+ years.
Harold Fish case and discussion on CCW choices
Truly, the heyday of the hunting autoloader is at it's dusk. Less people hunt and those that do typically don't choose an autoloader. Since 10mm is considered a hunting caliber, that is why this is tacked on here. Again, I don't always agree with Chuck, but he gives a great rundown of autoloading hunting pistols... even if he misspells "Wildey," nobody under 30 has seen Deathwish III (haha), and the base price being $2,750 now.
https://www.chuckhawks.com/handgun_hunting.htm
It has to be mentioned for all the "powerful" statements about 10mm, that it is on the low end of big game handgun hunting calibers. Compare it to others, like 475 Wildey, 45 Win Mag, 44 Automag, 44 Rem Mag (DE), 50AE, and revolvers that have some better choices (IMHO).