Recoil is based on science, not much opinion there. Recoil increased/decreased by three things - weight of gun, speed of shot, amount of shot. Doesn't matter what guage you're using. Lower recoil is achieved by increasing gun weight, using a lighter load, and slowing the speed of the shot coming out of the gun. A fourth variable might be using a gas operated semi-auto as it spreads the recoil event over a longer period of time.
To minimize recoil shooting skeet, I shoot a Citori XT weighing 8.5 lbs and reload 12 ga. loads of 7/8 oz. of #8.5 shot at 1200 fps (essentially, a 20 ga. load in a heavier 12 ga. gun). If you reload, you can craft a top quality load for light recoil and save money too.
So to answer your question, get the heaviest gun in whatever guage you choose and shoot the lightest loads you can (as it doesn't take a 1 1/8 oz. 1300 fps. load to break a clay!)