I had Robert Mika build a pocket holster for my 4" GP100
Mainly just so when I had it around the house I didn't have to keep it in leather.
I carry a snub .38 + P (S&W 442) and a snub .357 magnum (S&W 640-1 pro) from time to time. If I carry one, its in a Mika pocket holster. If I carry both (double J frame - see Mas Ayoob's article) then one is in the pocket and one IWB on the alternate side.
In my experience shooting .38 + P, .357, and .44 special out of comparably lightweight snubs, all of them are painful to shoot on the hand. However, they are not uncontrollable.
I tend to select hotter loads when the firearm can handle them, and I mix and match loads. Generally the first two shots I'll have a mid-power load that I am very accurate with. For the next double tap (shots 3 and 4) I'll load a very hot load or a load with different composition for increased power and penetration. For the last round in a 5 shot snub I'll return to the mid-power load.
The reason for including increased power loads is Trooper Coates. If I must defend my life or the life of someone I love and my first two accurate mid-power loads cannot stop the threat, I'm hoping something stronger or with better penetration or different composition can handle it.
Since the subject here is 9mm and .357, I'll speak for the one I have experience with. I use buffalo-barnes XPB .357 built for short barrels (1225 ft/s advertised out of snub barrel) and Underwoods loading of the 158 grain Speer Gold Dot bullet (1475 ft/s out of ?? Barrel. Some online reports showing 1100 - 1200 range out of snub, but not enough data to know for sure). In almost all test cases the 158 gold dot fails to expand and gives about 24" of penetration. But in the context of loading it in a snub that might not penetrate enough, that might be a good thing. Furthermore, I'm not convinced that ballistic gelatin and synthetic bone accurately predict bullet performance in a self defense scenario.
Shot placement is king; penetration is queen; all else is jack.
Whereas snubs are capable of great accuracy at a range, I have no fantasies about taking head-shots at distance while under return fire. Aim center of mass. Don't fire into crowds. Avoid conflict at all costs. Practice (but be careful of your blood lead levels or tracking it back home, especially if you have children).
In general I stick to Barnes bullets for Corbon or Buffalo or Gold Dots in every caliber.
With handguns you will always be making a compromise. Get something you can carry comfortably and safely. Practice with it. Hope for the best. Follow the law. Post lots of pics
That means you, OP, with your new 9.