Another Letter, Please read and comment

[ZombieHunter]

This will be emailed to my State Delegates and is admitedly a rushed work in progress. Comments are appreciated!



I'm writing as a concerned citizen. I agree with our State's policy as being Pro-Choice when it comes to abortion, giving a woman the right to choose WHETHER OR NOT one is right for her and her circumstances. I'm utterly dismayed that the State I call home denies its citizens the right to choose WHETHER OR NOT a Concealed Carry Permit for self-defense is right for their circumstances. It instead forces a citizen to prove their need for self-defense. To further show the gross inequity of the current system, the vast majority of permits are issued to those making large cash deposits, working in jobs that expose them to strangers or to state officials. When did "all men are created equal" become so bastardized?

I urge you to research HB2 from the 2008 Session and discuss this with its writer. I implore you to approach this issue with logic and reason and to look at the facts and not the emotion or fear based arguments. Most importantly, if you don't believe that the right to Self-Defense is as unalienable as the rights to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness I'd hope you could explain to me why.

 

[bogie]

You're hitting the doof at the other end with two issues. That confuses the doof.

 

[Blackbeard]

I'm writing as a concerned citizen. I agree with our State's policy as being Pro-Choice when it comes to abortion, giving a woman the right to choose WHETHER OR NOT one is right for her and her circumstances. I'm utterly dismayed that the State I call home denies its citizens the right to choose WHETHER OR NOT a Concealed Carry Permit for self-defense is right for their circumstances. It instead forces a citizen to prove their need for self-defense. To further show the gross inequity of the current system, the vast majority of permits are issued to those making large cash deposits, working in jobs that expose them to strangers or to state officials. When did "all men are created equal" become so bastardized?

I urge you to research HB2 from the 2008 Session and discuss this with its writer. I implore you to approach this issue with logic and reason and to look at the facts and not the emotion or fear based arguments. Most importantly, if you don't believe that the right to Self-Defense is as unalienable as the rights to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness I'd hope you could explain to me why.

I'd ditch the all-caps. The blue sentence is poorly constructed. It literally means that "permits are issued to show the gross inequity."

Here's a suggestion:

I'm writing as a concerned citizen. I agree with our State's policy with regard to a woman's ability to choose to have an abortion, if she feels it is appropriate for her and her circumstances. I'm utterly dismayed that the State I call home denies its citizens the right to choose to defend themselves with concealed firearms, if they feel is appropriate for their circumstances. Instead, our government forces a citizen to prove their need for self-defense. This invites political favoritism and discrimination. All Maryland citizens deserve an equal opportunity to choose to carry for self-defense, without regard to socio-economic status or political clout.

I urge you to research HB2 from the 2008 Session and discuss this with its writer. I implore you to approach this issue with logic and reason and to look at the facts and not the emotion or fear based arguments. Most importantly, if you don't believe that the right to Self-Defense is as unalienable as the rights to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness I'd hope you could explain to me why.

 

[cdrt]

It might be better to actually identify who sponsored HB2 in the 2008 session and request they confer with that legislator to discuss their opposition and concerns about the bill, rather than just refer to him as the "writer". It will save them and their staff some time in looking up the bill and seeing who sponsored it.

 

[ZombieHunter]

Thanks all...

As mentioned it was a rush job...like 10 minutes between classes. I'll take the advice and redraft.

Also I'm trying to figure out a way to say "you're pro-choice but won't let a woman have a gun to defend herself if she so desired wth?" without saying it that way.

And I'll drop the caps...is there an accepted way to emphasize something in person to person written communication?

 

[cdrt]

You could put it in italics, which is an accepted way of showing emphasis.