Argument with an Anti about my parenting

[Yo Mama]

I was over at my in-laws last night, and my Father in law got into it with me on gun rights. This came after I told them I would have no problem with my children having guns and knives. I don't mind arguments or debates, but when kids get thrown in the mix my emotions raise quickly.

I feel I'm a responsible and good parent. I want my children to know how to use guns and knives, and it's my responsibility to give them this information. My kids are one and four. My Father in law thought I meant I would give my four year old a knife and let her run around with it, bring it to school, do what ever she wants with it. I was just amazed. She would learn how to use it supervised, she would not keep it, and it would only be hers when she matures to a point that I feel she would be safe. The issue that got me was that my parenting was in focus, vs. his feelings on gun/weapon control.

Other arguments from him included that there should be more gun free zones, people shouldn't have guns, and I'm an idiot and a looney. We left soon after. I'll never talk about this again with him, and I feel everyone else agreed with me, so I've at least done my job with the rest of the family.

Just needed to vent. I just don't get it sometimes, this guy is 20 years military, and would love if everyone was disarmed. I left upset, and I'm sure he did, all because I thought my kid was awsome for being into what I'm into.

 

[Mousegun]

this guy is 20 years military

Prolly the Air Force.

 

[Yo Mama]

That's creepy how you knew Mousegun, yep, Air Force.

 

[LibShooter]

I got my first pocket knife for my 8th or 9th birthday. I stabbed myself in the hand that night. That was a good safety lesson.

However, my advice is to never get into arguments with your in-laws. Even if you win you might lose.

 

[svtruth]

I believe Mark Twain

said 'The age of wisdom begins when you get a pocket knife.'

 

[Shovelhead]

I am reminded of an old saying:

“Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.”

 

[merlinfire]

Most anti's arguments are at least partially based on an emotional response, and nothing evokes that response better than children.

It doesn't help that there are hundreds of incidents of children accidentally killing themselves or other children. A lot of people are going to have issues with children and guns.

I agree that with the proper training and oversight that a child can participate in shooting sports and hunting quite safely. But its a lot easier to say "yes, my son has hunted with me a number of times and got his first buck" as proof of safety, than talking about it beforehand, without proof to convince the doubter. And there will be doubters.

 

[J-Bar]

Don't let him see you getting mad.Just laugh at him every time he says something. See what happens.

 

[ForumSurfer]

this guy is 20 years military, and would love if everyone was disarmed.

People hold some odd beliefs. I have a coworker who was army infantry that feels the same way. His neighbor was a victim of a home invasion. They tied up the entire family with duct tape while they robbed the place. Thankfully, no one was hurt (lucky, too since they had two attractive teenage daughters...I shutter to think what could have happened). Still, this guy is adamant that a gun is a bad thing in anyone's hands and that in such a situation one should just do as the attacker requests. Yeah my jaw hit the floor, too. I didn't even know how to respond.

It is an argument that you will likely not win, ever.

What is more important is that you and the wife are on the same page.

I'd be respectful, but the decision is yours and your wife's decision. I would let him know that, respectfully.

On another note...collapsible stocks help your kids get better cheek welds at an early age on your ar. I posted pics of my 8 (7 at the time) first shooting outing on facebook. Ok, his first outing where he demonstrated that he was ready to handle the responsibility of actually shooting, anyway. 3 coworkers un-friended me.

 

[merlinfire]

3 coworkers un-friended me.

When you go on your homicidal killing spree, they don't want to be considered accomplices!

I few of my co-workers know I'm a gun nut, but they respect me because I'm a nice and responsible guy. Sometimes you just have to be a good example and people start to see that not all stereotypes are accurate. Getting into lengthy debates and getting upset about it won't show people anything, except that their thoughts of gun owners are vindicated.

Some people though, well, can't be swayed.

 

[Yarddog]

Yea you'll never win him over, so be polite while at his house, He was stationed in San Fransisco ROFLAO ; )
Y/D

 

[sarge83]

My brother has a friend that is ex-army, two tours in iraq and he hates the thought of a kid anywhere near a gun, goes spastic. Doesn't matter if the kid is hunting or target shooting with proper supervision. I guess they are supposed to learn about firearms from the movies and the play ground in his mind.

He has issues with civilians owning anything he deems an assault rifle or a high capacity handgun. He got furious with me when I told him his problem was he was a control freak and just wanted to pick and choose who gets to own a gun at his and the governments leisure and in his world if you were not military, ex-military or leo you didn't rate owning one. He got even angrier when I said it must be nice when feel you are in the exclusive club that gets to pick and choose who lives and dies based on your whims and the uniform you wear or used to wear.

 

[CZguy]

Mousegun

Prolly the Air Force.

Yo Mama,

That's creepy how you knew Mousegun, yep, Air Force.

All right, steady down you two. I'm retired Air Force, and am pro second amendment.

There are just some in laws that you have to limit the conversation to talking about the weather.

 

[MtnCreek]

My brother has a friend that is ex-army, two tours in iraq and he hates the thought of a kid anywhere near a gun, goes spastic.

No telling what this guy saw while down range. I would probably just thank him for his service and if you wanted to take a little jab, you could point out that he was also protecting your 2a rights.

 

[bruzer]

If you need to feel good about your parenting skills you came to the right place. You are responsible for the proper training of your kids with guns and knives and a bunch of other stuff that will gray your hair. Your doing great, hang in there.
As for the Father-In-Law here are some words of wisdom. I have always gotten along with my In-Laws but one day my Father-In-Law got on a subject that got heated. We did not yell and scream but voices were raised and neither one of use was a happy camper. Once we got home and had a chance to calm down, my Wife was upset thinking that her Husband and Dad would never get along. I told my Wife that as for me, THAT WILL NEVER BE AN ISSUE AGAIN. I have respect for the man because he is the Father of my Wife. A Wife that I have had for 25 years. A man that I care for and LOVE. I harbor no bad feelings. He is entitled to his opinions and although I strongly disagree with some of his positions I WILL NEVER LET OUR DIFFERENCES OF OPINION BE AN ISSUE AGAIN. He may try and hook me in but I stand firm without having to say a word. You don't have to tip toe but realize there are certain things you don't need to discuss with the man. And if none of this works always remember, No matter how bad a visit you have with him at the end of the day you don't have to sleep with him because you're sleeping with his daughter.
Good luck,
Mike

 

[geekWithA.45]

My Father in law thought I meant I would give my four year old a knife and let her run around with it, bring it to school, do what ever she wants with it.

Don't sweat it, FIL's irrationality is not a reflection on you, it's a reflection on FIL.

People believe the strangest damned things when they get weirded and stressed out.

Many years back, @ the 4th of July block party, I setup an area for the kids to shoot airsofts at targets, like knock over cups and stuff. This area included a large, covering tarp to keep the pellets contained.

The stressed out antis, not knowing that I was "the guy", confided in me that they knew that the tarp was "so they wouldn't see" the kids "shooting animals" with "real guns".

Seriously.

They really believed that.

 

[Arkansas Paul]

My Father in law thought I meant I would give my four year old a knife and let her run around with it, bring it to school, do what ever she wants with it.

Sounds to me like you were attempting to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
You say this was your father in law. Just out of curiosity, what does your spouse think about it? I mean both the issue and the argument with the father.

 

[Screendmon]

My wife says " No one should have guns"
and I tell her she is right. "No one should have guns, but since the BGs do, I do"
plus I like to target shoot

 

[Standing Wolf]

I wish my father had introduced me to shooting.

 

[Gouranga]

lol. x2 for not worth it top argue with the FIL. You won't win, he won't win, what can happen is you damage the relationship between you and your wife and/or her and her father. That is a fight that simply is not worth fighting.

Me and my in-laws have a few disagreements in our opinions. However, they go out of their way to never interfere with me and my wife and my kids. I have and always will give them the respect they deserve as the parents of my wife, and the grandparents of my children.

If anything, I would just acknowledge, you are not going to ever agree on that topic but that you also are not going to endanger his grandkids. That is about the best truce you can hope for.

 

[PcolaDawg]

Hang in there. You are doing the right thing with your kids.

My father in law grew up a Mennonite, was drafted, but due to his religious beliefs refused to handle a weapon. Fortunately for him at the time, the Army had a special basic training where conscientious objectors could go and they wouldn't have to ever handle a rifle or other weapon. So, even though he refused to handle a gun, my father in law served honorably as a medic.

You'd think, based on his beliefs, he would be very upset with me and how I've raised his grandkids (they all were taught to shoot at an early age, grew up with knives, and had their own handguns before they graduated high school). But he has been very supportive of the way I've taught my kids (and even my wife) about guns. He does not care in the least that I carry a gun at all times and even seems pleased that his daughter (my wife) has her conceal/carry permit and carries a little pistol.

So, again, hang in there. The problem is with your father in law, not you. Hope you can find a way to handle the dispute and remain at peace with your in-laws.

 

[foghornl]

Or as I say

"...My In-Laws & Out-Laws..."

Couple of them are pretty far left, so yeah, I've had those discussions, too

 

[Toforo]

I am reminded of an old saying:

“Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.”

Aye to that - and then there's the other one....

Never wrestle with a pig - you both get dirty and the pig likes it.

 

[Nushif]

A few of my co-workers know I'm a gun nut, but they respect me because I'm a nice and responsible guy.

That.

Most people who know me actually know I'm an avid gunner and thus far, while getting maybe one or two truly negative responses I've taken a lot of people shooting for their first time and even got approached a few times when it comes to firearms questions.
that takes the cake is probably this Hipster girl who found out that they raflfed an M4 clone off during second amendment week at school ... she hoped it went to me, because she "knows I wouldn't do anything dumb."

Be a good example and over time ... you'll win people over.

 

[Patriotme]

I have learned over the last couple of years that you will never win some people over to your side. You can use facts, logic, stats and history. It doesn't matter. Some people know what they know in spite of reality.
I don't argue with them anymore. I've learned to cut my losses and go after the open minded person listening in on the discussion. You might convince someone with an open mind and no knowledge but you will not convince a close minded fool of anything.
In politics and gun debates you need to go after the independents. That's your bread and butter.
It's unfortunate that you have to interact with your father in law. I wouldn't bring up the topic again but if he has to bring it up then tell him that you and wife are grown and will do as you please. He rasied his kids now you'll raise yours (and they won't be sheep).