Creative way to justify gun purchases to a spouse

[danez71]

And then there' my cat!

View attachment 784179

Honey, they're banning bump stocks so the cat is going to need a new rifle.

 

[Poper]

Once upon a time I was reorganizing my gun safe because I needed to get another long gun into it and she came out to my shop to ask me something. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw my collection of about 20 long guns and a dozen or so handguns scattered all over the place.
She: "Where did you get all those guns?"
Me: "Various places over the years. We've bee married almost 20 years, you know."
She: "Uh huh. But why do you have so many of them?"
Me: "Well, Kiddo, it's kinda like this: Guns are to guys like jewelry is to women."
She: (with a thoughtful expression on her face) " Oh.... I think I understand."

She has never mentioned my collection since.
And I almost always find a shiny bobble of some kind appropriate for each of the special occasions that arise throughout the year.

She's happy and Me's happy.

 

[GunnyUSMC]

I would tell my wife that I bought the gun for her when she would discover that I bought another gun. When we divorced she asked which guns were hers. I told her that I had been lying to her about guns for years and they were all mine. She took all the furniture and cloths hangers.

 

[captain awesome]

I would tell my wife that I bought the gun for her when she would discover that I bought another gun. When we divorced she asked which guns were hers. I told her that I had been lying to her about guns for years and they were all mine. She took all the furniture and cloths hangers.

hahaha! that made my night.


sorry for the loss of your furniture compadre.

 

[Demi-human]

I must confess. I don't need to be creative or sneak them in any longer, either.

In addition, my headaches are gone, fuel stays in the truck, laundry and dishes are done in a timely manner and I have more funds for more guns.

Can you believe I was upset about it? Well, at first.

 

[Lo8080]

Search for a raffle and go buy a ticket. Buy the gun and tell the wife hey I bought a raffle ticket for this.

 

[stonebuster]

I just say "I'm gonna buy a gun". She says " Have fun". It also works the other way around. Such as shoes, clothes, and all the other "unnecessary" things women seems to have have.

The wife got a new SUV last year. I'm working on catching up a bit have a long way to go.

After my wife saw me cleaning a previously unseen to her revolver, she countered with a new refrigerator and range without skipping a beat. She one upped me on the counter which I agreed to, but she never followed up. So I still have the revolver and she still has an old frig and stove. She's definitely a keeper as is the revolver.

 

[DeepSouth]

A while back my wife wanted some exercise equipment that we didn’t have room for and I knew she wouldn’t use, (different story) I got her to wright on a paper that I could buy any gun I wanted, any time I wanted, for any amount I wanted, and thier would be no complaints. Then she signed it, normally I’d have just gone to get the next one on my list, this time the bank acct was a little low so I got rain check in writing.

2 weeks ago I went to the CMP and bought me a service grade International Harvester M1 Garand, I left the house before she woke up but when I got home she asked, what’s that, what’d it cost... I just handed her the letter she wrote, and she didn’t say another word.


Once or twice a year me or the wife will be wanting something a little pricey, so the other either gets a little extra to spend in return. So a gun normally ends up costing about double what it sells for after I pay the wife off.

 

[Mr. Standfast]

I recently heard there is a rule of thumb for how many guns a guy can have; you get to keep anything you got while you were young/single and you’re allowed some gun for every year of marriage plus one bonus gun for each child. ( thought it sounded good until I did the math and realized to live by that I’d have to cull a dozen guns.)
..

You can't speed up the passage of the years, but you can speed up the procreating. How about "I really need an interest to stop me wasting so much money on all those nights out with the boys"?

 

[mstreddy]

A buddy of mine has taken the path of telling his wife -- But, Eddy (that's me) has one and I liked it.Or, Eddy said it was a good deal. Or a bunch of variations of it being my idea or fault.
He's used it for most guns and reloading purchases in the last couple of years.
He's also used the wife gets home improvement, he gets a gun. So, the new floor - new gun, bathroom remodel - new gun.

For me, I do what some here do, sneak it into the house, have it blend it in with the rest.
My wife is not into guns at all, and really doesn't pay attention to what I have. Most were there before we got married, and she only really noticed them when I was replacing the safe and they were piled in the living room.

She took all the furniture and cloths hangers.

And now we know how Gunny got his Mosin closet!

 

[GunnyUSMC]

My friends show their wives pics of my Mosin closet to justify buying more guns.
One friend brought his wife over because she said he had to many guns. As they were leaving she told him he could buy more guns.

 

[bassjam]

My wife and I both have our own discretionary funds that gets deposited in separate checking accounts every month. It’s not a lot, and meant to be used to buy things like clothing, shoes, accessories, or just about anything that we want but isn’t required for the family/household. I’ve found that I can make my clothes and shoes last a very long time, and what I do buy comes from the clearance rack and pretty much everything else goes to guns and ammo. This keeps her from complaining about my growing gun collection, and I can't say anything about her growing shoe collection.

As an added bonus, when my wife thinks my clothes are getting too old she'll often just pick up new clothes for me, which keeps me from shopping for clothes AND she uses her own money for it which just leaves me even more funds to buy guns and ammo.

 

[The Earl o Sammich]

I can get what I want pretty much but I did use this once. My son who was in the Army said he hated this M9 and wished he could get a regular old Colt 1911. I told the wife I would get him one for Christmas. I told my son I would like one too. I got a pair of consecutively numbered Colts. He gave me one and I gave him one. Now I'm a generous father with a loving son instead of a greedy old man.

 

[george burns]

I just bought this.

 

[BSA1]

My wife and I both have our own discretionary funds that gets deposited in separate checking accounts every month.

This has worked best for us. We split the bills and ask no questions about the rest of the difference we have left.

In general it is more me justifying to myself what to buy. This year I have plans for two new guns:

This time last year my wife brought herself a S&W M&P 1.0 9mm. I believe in 3 is 2, 2 is 1 and 1 is None with self-defense guns. So last week I brought another M&P 1.0 9mm for her as back-up to her first one. She just does not know yet.

Last Christmas when daughter #1 was home I showed her my two AR's and she promptly claimed one as her own. Now I love my daughter so I will end up giving her the AR. However remember my policy is 2 is 1 soooo before I give her the AR I will have to have another on hand to replace it.

Sometimes it is expensive being a loving husband and father.

 

[lightman]

My wife could care less, I am my own worst enemy. I let her do her thing and she lets me do mine, and we respect each other. We know our financial constraints and our commitments. We have a daughter in college and one in high school, so we have our priorities.

-Jeff

This could be me except that we had Boys instead of Girls, and they are both grown now! I worked a second job most of my adult life so we had some discretionary income to play with. It probably helped that I paid for all of the vacations, nights out, hunting trips, ball games, guns, ect ect. I also managed to buy Her a nice piece of jewelry every 5th anniversary and a smaller babble about every year. Happy Wife Happy Life!

 

[Double Naught Spy]

I make a good deal more than my wife, but we share our monies. If I want to splurge for something I really want, I make sure she has the same opportunity. She doesn't complain about my new whatever if she gets to have the whatever she wants.

 

[Mauser lover]

Some good marriage counseling in this thread!

Some bad counseling in this thread too...

 

[Zaydok Allen]

Not ever getting married has been my solution. It's served me well for 37 years, and I buy whatever I want.

People make problems.

 

[Poper]

mstreddy reminded me of a good friend (since passed away) that my wife truly admired. She never questioned Russel's wisdom and always took his word as gospel. One day when I was visiting Russel, (about 20 years ago, now), he says to me: "Ya know Poper, I got it fixed for ya. I told Mrs. Poper to let you have anything you tell her I said you need. Trust me. Anytime you want something, just tell the misses that I said you need it."

A year or so later, we were walking through a car dealership (I forget why) and as we walked past a one or two year old Jeep that was all decked out, I leaned on the hood and said, "Ya' know, honey, Russel says I need one of these..."
Mrs. Poper, as she backs up three steps: "OH, NO YOU DON'T!!!!"
I told Russ about it and that his fix didn't work like he said it would.
He replied: "Well, Dummy, there are limits to my influence, you know! I was talking about guns and reloading stuff!!"

DOH!

 

[mstreddy]

Poper,
That's funny!
I guess I'm like Russel as my influence apparently is only with guns and reloading too! Or, at least the blame...

I have told other friends that they can blame me for anything gun related if they need the cover with their wives. I may have a hate-fan club somewhere by now.

Addendum to my buddy - he jokes that his wife now has a voodoo doll that looks something like me, and that whenever "I told him to buy something" she starts putting needles in it. Maybe that's why my back hurts sometimes.

 

[Kilrb]

Mine just says “Are you going to buy it or just look at it” she’s never asked why or what you getting that for. Last one I bought was a PCC was on my Harley we come home with it in box between us. That got some interesting looks.

 

[hdwhit]

Creative way to justify gun purchases to a spouse

Why is it necessary to justify a gun purchase to your spouse; creatively or otherwise?

Are we living in a modern day version of "I Love Lucy" with the partners to the marriage constantly trying to one-up the other or get the better deal? If so, what a little slice of perdition most people's lives must be.

Even when I was in my mid-50s, my father thought himself entitled to have me justify some of the guns I bought, but my wife has never been so presumptuous. Of the last five gun purchases I made, my wife concurred with them beforehand; actually suggesting that two of them be bought.

The bible says that a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. It also says that love seeks the betterment of the other person, so when we stop being acquisitive and start trying to make the other person better for having encountered us, the need to justify a purchase vanishes.

 

[Demi-human]

No human is better after encountering me.

 

[bluejeans]

I measured her closet full of clothes and shoes and told her I needed the same size as a gun safe.....got my FatBoy!

I just casually commented to my wife about this ... she looked over at my gun cabinet and pointed out that it’s already twice the size of her closet. Foiled again!