Funniest things you've heard customers say?

[spazzymcgee]

In the last thread about the lines that salespeople give, there was some interest in another thread about the ridiculous things that some customers say. So THR, what crazy things have have you heard gun shop/show/etc. customers say?

I'll start. I replaced some trigger parts on a Century Galil for a customer, and was giving it back to him. He said that he was grateful that I got it done that quickly, because he wanted to shoot it that weekend. He went on about his 1200 yard shots with it and his 5" groups at that distance. Said it was more accurate than his friend's custom built Remington 700. He didn't even try to keep it in the realm of possibility.

 

[matrem]

I was standing at the counter chatting with a salesman at Fin-Feather-Fur a couple years ago, when two younger (early twenties) fellas walked up and were wanting to handle some AR 15s.

The one that seemed to be explaining to his buddy why they both just had to each have one happened to notice a Bushmaster or RRA varmint model with a bipod attached. He looked at me and the salesman and asked "what are those other two barrels for?"

I had to turn away so I wouldn't offend him, and my hats off to the Fin employee who was very professional in his response.

 

[dragon813gt]

Replying so I can read all the hilarious things that will be posted :laugh:

 

[natman]

One day I got a call at the shop from a customer who had a question about scopes.

Customer: "What does it mean when a scope is 4x32?"

Me: "It means the scope is a four power with a 32mm objective lens."

Customer: "What does four power mean?"

Me: "It means that if your target is 100 yards away, the target appears as if it's only 25 yards away"

Customer: "Does the bullet still have to go the entire 100 yards?"

Long silence.

Me: "No, sir, having a scope does not warp the space-time continuum. The target merely appears to be 25 yards away."

 

[1911 guy]

You know, every time I read these threads I am grateful to have the shops I do. I also remember why I don't go to gun shows anymore.

But back in the days of yore when I lived in another place, there was a shop with decent selection and a small group of "regulars" who would gather around the coffee pot and spin yarns. The .17HMR cartridge was relatively new and a hot seller for varmints. We all gave blank stares when one fella said they aught to issue them (bolt guns in .17HMR) to snipers because the wounds were so devastating.

 

[Pokajabba]

Anything not a .45 is not worth considering for defense.

 

[herrwalther]

I walked into a gun store and saw a customer just reaming at the clerk. Downright screaming, pointing in his face, the kind of behavior you get tossed out for.

The general idea was that this older customer had been shooting all sorts of guns for decades. And he saw a post online advertising the "Glock 1911" (this was in early April). And he was DEMANDING to buy one or place one on order. The clerk was trying to calmly explain that it was a joke and hoax. The customer was irate and didn't believe the clerk, or myself who joined in. Customer left about 10 minutes later all mad.

Another instance, in the exact same store with the same clerk as before. A customer walked in, looked about 21 and a second. Tall and lanky fellow. Wanted to know if the store carried a Smith 629 V-Comp with an 8" barrel to buy. The clerk just chuckled and asked what movie the kid just watched.

 

[White35]

I have a certain ex 20+ year retired army family member. I'm 20. He was shooting with me at my house, and popped one of my pistol rated AR500 plates with M855 twice. Which left a couple dings in my plate, we were shooting paper beside the plates, and I already told him the plates were not rated for high velocity rounds. Anyway, after seeing the dings he claimed that we were too close for the "carbide penetrator" inside the jacket to penetrate. He said the round was going too fast and just disintegrated, had we been 100 yards or more, he assured me it would have penetrated the 1/4 piece of AR500. Not sure what was worse, the fact that he believes that, or the fact that he believed that, and tried to put holes in my steel targets.

 

[FREERANGETIME!]

My Contribution

About a year and a half ago, I was showing a customer a handgun, his phone beeps, he pulls it out of his pocket looks at it, looks up at me and says, "well I better be gettin home, the wife says she has to go to the bathroom, she is sittin on a cammode in the family room because she cant fit through the bathroom door no more" then he left, an hour later he returned and bought the gun. True story.

 

[newfalguy101]

Not so much funny as, well,

I sell brass at gunshows, a customer walks up and asks if I have any 38 brass. I smile and kindly say " you are going to need to be a bit more specific" he looks at me like I am stupid or just here from Mars and answers very slowly , and with careful enunciation, apparently so I would understand, " 38 CALIBER" to which I reply ( al little irritated but still friendly, "well I have 38 special, 357 mag, 9mm and ,380" which 38 caliber are you looking for?" At this point it seemed to dawn on the guy what he had asked and he meekly said .38 special, and to his credit he DID purchase a couple hundred from me.

 

[George Dickel]

I have a certain ex 20+ year retired army family member. I'm 20. He was shooting with me at my house, and popped one of my pistol rated AR500 plates with M855 twice. Which left a couple dings in my plate, we were shooting paper beside the plates, and I already told him the plates were not rated for high velocity rounds. Anyway, after seeing the dings he claimed that we were too close for the "carbide penetrator" inside the jacket to penetrate. He said the round was going too fast and just disintegrated, had we been 100 yards or more, he assured me it would have penetrated the 1/4 piece of AR500. Not sure what was worse, the fact that he believes that, or the fact that he believed that, and tried to put holes in my steel targets.

When I was in the army (1966-1986) there were soldiers in support elements (non-infantry) who hardly ever fired their rifle. When I was stationed in Mannheim, Germany I was a military policeman and in 3 years never fired my assigned rifle. We fired and qualified with our .45 pistol but that was it. When I was in air defense artillery we qualified once a year. Just because a person spent 20 years in the military doesn't mean they are that familiar with fire arms.

 

[Theohazard]

Replying so I can read all the hilarious things that will be posted :laugh:

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[dragon813gt]

You don't need to reply to a thread in order to subcribe to it. Just click on "Thread Tools" and scroll down to "Subscribe to this Thread".

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[White35]

When I was in the army (1966-1986) there were soldiers in support elements (non-infantry) who hardly ever fired their rifle. When I was stationed in Mannheim, Germany I was a military policeman and in 3 years never fired my assigned rifle. We fired and qualified with our .45 pistol but that was it. When I was in air defense artillery we qualified once a year. Just because a person spent 20 years in the military doesn't mean they are that familiar with fire arms.

I couldn't tell you for sure if he fired his weapon in combat or not, but he was in the airborne at one point, and had a little dash cam footage from a humvee he was inside, in/near some small arms fire. All the more why some of his ballistics knowledge is scary. He is pretty capable at shooting long range though, and does a good bit of his own gun smithing on a varrity of firearms (M1 Garand, 1911, AR-15, some older shotguns, ect.). I just hope your time in Europe wasn't as detrimental to your thought processes in general as it seems to have been on his ; )

 

[Theohazard]

Not when I'm using Tapatalk. I've never used a browser to view the forum. And subscribing in Tapatalk doesn't put it in my timeline. There is a reason I did what I did.

OK, I didn't know that. Thanks for the info.

 

[morcey2]

"4831 and 4895 are almost identical because the numbers are so close. Just use the 4831 load data."

One of the employees heard it and intervened. 58 grains of 4895 in a 30-06 would be just shy of a hand grenade.

"This is the same gun that was used to shoot JFK." The gun was a ruger 10/22 in a mannlicher stock.

"You don't need earplugs with pistols, just shotguns."

"Don't worry, it's not loaded." referring to a gun he breught in as a trade in. Then the counter guy proceeds to eject a live shell. The customer had swept about a half-dozen of us.



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[jmr40]

Guy walks into a store and asks clerk if they carry 357 Sig ammo. Clerk replies "yes, how much do you need". The answer. "I have 2 magazines, one holds 10 rounds, the other 13. I need 23 rounds." The only thing that would have been better would be if he had pulled them out of his pocket and said, "fill 'em up."

 

[BlkHawk73]

Far too many to even recall them all. Worked tables with my brother at gun shows occasionally and some of the things ppl would say was ranged from comedic to downright worrisome. Everyone has a story about how their uncle had this gun and made this remarkable shot. They all know what dealer costs are and have a buddy that can get it cheaper. Great you and your uncle go see your buddy instead of wasting folks time at the show. :banged:
That said...the better story tellers and "experts" are often the dealers that should be writers in Hollywood than trying to sell firearms.

 

[LoneGoose]

"Honey, this is the one you want." (Husband to wife.)

 

[HexHead]

I overheard a guy wearing a ball cap with a Lt. Colonel insignia and 5th Special Forces patch on it ask the guy handing him a rifle and pointing out the peep sight on it, "What's a peep sight? How do you use it?"

 

[entropy]

Oh my, where to begin:

Customer (18 year old kid) : Can you hunt deer with a machine gun?

Me: Why, you got one?

That shuts 'em up quick.

Very old man on phone: You got any clips for a tree-o-six?

Me: Yes, Sir, we have magazines for many different models of thirty ought six; What model do you need one for?

5 second silence

Customer: I need a clip for a tree-o-six, dammit!

Me: I understand Sir, but I need to know which model. I can think of about 40 different magazines in thirty-ought six that we stock.

Customer: Whattaya, some kinda smart a__? I want a clip for a tree-o-six!!!

Me: <hangs up phone>

I'm pretty sure he wanted an en bloc for a Garand, but he didn't have to be that way about it.

Customer, kid about 20: You got any Glock 7's?

Me: NO!

Same question, from well-dressed business type: Do you have the Glock 7, the all-plastic pistol?

Me: There is no Glock 7.

Customer: No, there's one right there..<points at Glock 17 in case>

Me: Sir, that is the Glock 17, and it is not all plastic, nor will it be undetectable by airport X-ray security scans. This is not Hollywood, this is reality.

Customer: That's a gun for evil people.

Me: Tell that to the Saint Paul Police Department; they carry them daily.

One of my favorites-

Woman, came in with man who was looking at shotguns on the other side of the gun counter: OMG, that's a machine gun up on the wall! Machine guns are illegal! I'm gonna call the cops right now...

Me, pointing to AR-15: One, that is NOT a machine gun, it is a semi-auto. Two, machine guns ARE legal to own in Minnesota, with proper Federal paperwork, and three, I've sold several of these to cops, my own Dad being one of them......here's the phone, go ahead and make a fool of yourself if you want......

so many more, usually the" <insert caliber here> is the only one for defense"..........or the, "I was a Green Beret Marine Seal Sniper, and this is what I used"....<holding up AK with receiver cover scope mount>


Don't even get me started on the people bringing guns in for the gunsmith saying, "It's unloaded" as they hand it to you unopened-then when you open it and a round falls out, they stare dumbfounded and say, "How did that get in there...?" We'd usually slip an extra charge in there for that.....

 

[rduchateau2954]

OK, I didn't know that. Thanks for the info.

Just tap the encircled check mark at the top right of the screen to subscribe on tap a talk.

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[Archie]

My favorite customer story is in fact, a sea story. I heard it from a guy.

However, it's not beyond the realm of reality and I believed the guy who told it.

A customer came into a regular old fashioned gun shop in the late 1960s or so and wanted a 'rabbit gun'. Conversationally the proprietor - the one telling the story - said he usually shot rabbits with a shot gun.

The customer said "No! I want a .22-250!"

The proprietor offered a .22-250 would visit serious damage on a rabbit, making it unsuitable for eating.

The customer explained. "Shoot between the bunny's ears and the shot will kill them without damage."

No follow up reports.

 

[Jim Watson]

Exchange between dealer and customer.

You don't want a magnum, the velocity is so high that the bullet does not stay in him (felon) long enough to hurt him.

Right, one of our (PD) guys shot a crook with a .44 Magnum and he just kept running.
The bullet went through him and killed an old man on his front porch in the next block.

 

[Jim Watson]

I saw this one on the dealer thread

At Bass Pro...
Guy asking about reloading powder and what reloading book he should buy.
Counterman: "You don't need a book. Just fill the case with powder and shake out the excess until the bullet fits in the case".
Customer: "Oh! Well that seems easy. What powder?"
Counterman: "Doesn't matter. Just pick one. They all work about the same."
Customer: "Well that's easy then. Thanks!! Have a good one!"

That customer and I had a nice discussion after he walked to the powder isle. He was brand new to reloading and wanting to reload 7mag. Imagine if he'd picked up a pound of H110.....or any powder really.

but here it was the other way 'round.
A local store had a regular customer we came to call "Scoops" because his modus operandi was to scoop the case full of powder and crunch a bullet down on top of it. He was semi-literate, he could read the "Rifle Powder" on the can but those numbers, names, and stuff out of books were of no significance. He had blown up two .300 Win Mags that way.

When my friend started working there, he soon understood the problem and would sell him nothing but H870 for his rifle so that a case full would not be an overload. He also clearly explained that the 4227 he was selling him was for his .44 Magnum only. A case full of that is somewhat of an overload, but the Ruger SBH withstood it as long as we could track him.