GF does NOT like guns...

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The real issue

"She puts a lot of value in others opinions except me."
You better open your eyes fellow. :what: You aint nothing but a financial security blanket for her. What ever the issue is in the future everybody's opinion will be more valuable than yours if it is not the same as yours. :neener: If it happens to be the same as yours (& it will very seldom be) then what you will hear is "Marry, Sally, or Jane said the same thing. I guess 'they' are right." You will still not be the leader in the relationship. She is going to wear the pants & be the inforcer. :fire: Send her packing & pack your pistol as soon as you get a permit to carry. :)
 
I find it hard to believe you have a buddy who would allow her on his property! Unless he knows nothing about this thread.
I used to have a buddy who had a GF who hated guns and anyone who had anything to do with them. He aint allowed to hang out with us any more and when we found out how Pu$$y wipped he was none of us got too upset.
Good luck with your shooting adventure and even if she relents on the gun issue I still think this is only a small battle and the war is far from won.
Gary
 
My wife was anti-gun - at one time I sold all my guns to appease her. She was preggo and decided they didnt need to be in the house. We have two kids now and I have guns......what happened???

Well my friend, I found my balls. They werent permanently gone, just hiding. I located them in a box of her stuff, apparently she had taken them from me for safekeeping to prevent me from doing what she didnt like. I located them, reattached and now Im back in business. That was January....

Now I have 8 guns, a bunch of Benchmade pocket knifes and I buy expensive flashlights as well - thank you nutz....you were handy.

My wife become less anti-gun because.....I dont know. I asked a few question after a news story like........what would you do if that was you? That kid that got stabbed or raped or kidnapped.....what if that was you and that kid was ours and you had the option to stop it but couldnt. She still wont carry a gun but she doesnt mind that I do.....and if she did all the sudden start caring again - thats her problem, me and my nutz are best buddies and we like guns.

Nuts and guns - good combo.
 
My wife was anti-gun - at one time I sold all my guns to appease her. She was preggo and decided they didnt need to be in the house. We have two kids now and I have guns......what happened???

Well my friend, I found my balls. They werent permanently gone, just hiding. I located them in a box of her stuff, apparently she had taken them from me for safekeeping to prevent me from doing what she didnt like. I located them, reattached and now Im back in business. That was January....

Now I have 8 guns, a bunch of Benchmade pocket knifes and I buy expensive flashlights as well - thank you nutz....you were handy.

My wife become less anti-gun because.....I dont know. I asked a few question after a news story like........what would you do if that was you? That kid that got stabbed or raped or kidnapped.....what if that was you and that kid was ours and you had the option to stop it but couldnt. She still wont carry a gun but she doesnt mind that I do.....and if she did all the sudden start caring again - thats her problem, me and my nutz are best buddies and we like guns.

Nuts and guns - good combo.
Click to expand...

:D RFLAO
 
Lose the bitch.Last thing you want is to end up as part of a crazy cop family.Always put your guns above women.Especially women who don't want you to have any.
 
Look at the family and project 20 years...like what you see?

I've been married to the same wonderful Latin goddess for 21 years. She's a gem and a pain in the posterior, all at the same time. Sometimes she believes that her values are mine, or that they should be. People do not change, nor are the capable of significant, deep-seated values change. Even those capable of minior change are typically too weak, or too controlled to live life-long with deep change.

If you don't like what you're experiencing, lay it on the table with her something to this effect: "My owning a firearm is a Constitutional right, the same as life itself. Either we honor each others' differences, or we end this relationship NOW BEFORE CHILDREN ARE IN THE PICTURE".

Now, after she walks, and pray she does now rather than later, go to the range and watch for young ladies who are shooting. :what: Few things are glorious as a woman with a gun.

Take one bit of advice from an expert in this area...start your children off early. My 11-year-old daughter loves firearms and hunting. She actually owns (through me) 2 single action Ruger revolvers. She loves the range.

Doc2005
 
after you take her shooting, if she doesn't 'come around' dump her and buy a motorcycle...

That seems to be the "thing to do" when gun guys break up after LTR's, they buy a motorcycle.

atek3
 
Well, I usually hate to see these threads started here. It usually ends up with a whole lot of female bashing. :fire: (BTW, not all of us are anti gun and only fit to cook supper and raise babies)
This one was a little milder. :D Thanks all. :p
Bottom line is you have to decide for yourself if this girl is right for you and how far you are willing to go to keep the relationship going. If I were in your shoes, I would as several othere suggested, try taking her to the range. Hopefully that will work for you. No matter what she decides she wants, she needs to start thinking for herself and quit relying on what friends tell her. Good luck
 
...try taking her to the range.
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In this case, I don't think educating her about guns is the issue, or would solve the greater underlying issue. As I mentioned earlier, they aren't even married yet and she already has control of his car hobby. She hasn't banned his car hobby, but he's let her have control of how much he can do.

This should have raised a red flag a long time ago, even before the subject of guns came up. Even if she ends up liking guns and shooting, her nature and attitude towards this relationship is a strong indicator that she will make him miserable in the long run. I've been in that sort of relationship before, I know what it's like. I justified and defended it for the longest time, until I just couldn't take it anymore and I finally had to face the truth. Ending it was the best decision I ever made. Thank God I came to my senses before we got married or she got pregnant.
 
reasonable people can disagree on issues. Sometimes this is because no one has all the facts, or sometimes because there is an emotional undercurrent beyond the logical facts. However, reasonable people can comprimise.

she may never like guns or want to go shooting with you, BUT she should allow you to keep your firearms provided they are stored safely and securely, and should at least listen while you lay down the basics of safty (no finger on trigger, treat it like it is loaded, watch the muzzle).

If she cannot agree to such a scheme, then yes, it truely is about controlling YOU, or she is truely off the emotional deep end to the extend that she would fake an incident to get the cops to take your guns and prevent you from future ownership 'for your own good'
 
Matt Payne said:
Thinking back, I've never seen a thread like this where the guy comes back and says, "Wow -- you guys were right, so I dumped her."
Click to expand...

pax said:
Matt ~

http://www.thefiringline.com/forums...ead.php?t=54943

pax
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Well, in my defense, I've never seen that thread. :D

And you could have saved me some reading and told me that the punch line was in post #92... :p

Anyway, that's clearly the proverbial exception that proves the rule. :neener:

So, silverbird, it's been a couple days; how did the day of shooting go?
 
In a relationship, the two partners have to yield to one another or support each other in order for the relationship to work. Having that said, maybe you should tell her with your enthusiasm that you have with firearms like it's a new hobby. Just be very responsible with it. Maybe she could support your new hobby. You mentioned that she is anti-gun, do you remember a time where if you and her were together where a firearm would have made you more secure? Support her likings and in return, she should support yours if it's appropiate. It really does takes some time. Mention the events after Katrina.

I was in a situation similar to yours where my partner hated firearms because of what they represent (crime, bad guys, cops). It's a different matter because anything can happen. A firearm is an investment if used correctly and with judgement. Just don't go acting around like you're macho and arrogant with a gun which I'm sure you won't.
 
Silverbird,
it's been a week since we heard from you. You said you were taking her shooting a week ago. How did it go? Should we assume your disappearance since then means it didn't go well? If it went well, I'd think you'd be here telling everyone the good news... :confused:
 
I heard it put very well in some movie, I think...

In a world where no one stands for anything, I guess I'll stand for myself.
 
Well, i'm the buddy with property in VA that Silverbird and his girl went shooting with.

It was kinda weird. She did actually shoot a couple of the hand guns that we had but she made me stand behind her and have at least one of my hands on the gun with her. I went over all the basic safety things and got her to squeeze off a few rounds etc... but I saw that she was closing her eyes every time the gun fired.
In a nutshell, she is terrified of handguns. She got her own views or someone put in her head that the only use for handguns are for killing people. She can't get that out of her head and pretty much refuses to talk about why she feels that way.
Funny part is that its only the handguns that she is afraid of. We set her up with my 10/22 and she loved it. Probably shot 70-80 rds. She was shooting at about 50 yds and the scope was set for 100. She was getting the hang of adjusting her sight to compensate for the shorter distance.
Anyway, Silverbird told me that she probably hates the handguns more now then she did before. Said it was an interesting drive home. I would not want to be in his shoes. I also hope she doesnt make him choose. :confused:
I really believe that if she would just talk about the fear I could turn her around. Who knows, she might want to shoot rifles all the time and become a marks-woman. We can only hope right?

Andy
 
I'd drop your girlfriend like a hot rock.

I dated a few girls before I found the perfect match and let me tell you this, the first thing my wife said when she came over to my place and saw my .40cal laying on my bed was (nonchalantly), "cool is that a 9mm?"

Her Dad took her shooting when she was young.
 
aaronrkelly, I agree that "nuts" help... When I first met the woman who is now my wife we were doing a lot of outdoor activities and she seemed interested in firearms too. She came to the range with me a couple of times and tried handguns and 22 rifles. Then, we got married and she started putting pressure on me to sell all my firearms. I said no but I sold some to show that I would try to limit the total number. Big mistake! that built up the expectation that I would get rid of everything...

In any case I am now fighting back and the number is up again. She is not really antigun just afraid that our kids will find them and hurt themselves. Obviously one can take measures to prevent that. I think New Orleans helped in the battle. My next goal is a handgun safe in the night stand. The following battle will be the minimum age to bring the kids shooting.
 
I haven't read all of the response here, but I have just one question:

Why is there even a question?

From this moment on, when you refer to her, it should be as "the anti, formerly known as a girlfriend." She needs to be shown the door rather quickly. If her g/f's opinions on the matter are more important than your opinions/feelings, there's a problem here, and it's only going to get worse. Believe me, I know these things.

Whenever you do the slightest thing that gets her nose out of joint, she's going to tell these exact same friends, and they're going to expend a great deal of time and effort to explain to her just how unworthy you are of her love and affection. You don't think she's going to look them in the eyes and tell them how wrong they are, do you? She's going to agree with them and continue thinking about what they said for days on end. Then, she's going to stay mad at you for a longer amount of time than she would have if she hadn't had those same friends. In the end, you're the one who's going to pay the price. It doesn't matter if you leave the toilet seat down ("What an inconsiderate jerk!") or choose to watch a football game, rather than go to an art exhibit with her ("Oh, he can't take some time out of his busy life to spend some with you." - never mind the fact that you both work 40+ hours a week and just spent the wekend prior shopping for supplies so she could build a scrapbook about "The Adventures of Willy the Wonder Cat", who's been dead for 10 years.)

But, alas, it's your life and you're the one who's got to live with your decisions. Just remember, folks tried to warn you. So, when she's got you by the sac, leading you around, making you carry her shopping bags so that her hands are free to hold her cell phone (which she's using to ask her g/f's about some shoe/skirt/shirt combo), and you pass the sporting goods store with the 50% off ammo sale, remember, you could have been a free man, rather than a subject.
 
HB SS, Nice of you to do the right thing and give it a chance. My Compliments!
I have no idea what handguns you had her shooting but think a nice .22 revolver or SA would have been the best choice rather then to hand her a cannon.
If you ever tried to gun train a dog it would be easy to see how just the loud sound and recoil could be the end if not done properly.
I do think there is alot more at issue here then hand guns but thats your buddies problem.
I think my first few posts in this thread were a bit off color or could have been misconstrued as woman bashing. They certainly were not meant to be that. I don't have much tolerance for wimps, male or female!
My GF and now Wife never held a gun before she met me but she also had no preconceived dislike of them. She loves shooting both my 6" L frame .357 and my 10" Wildey .475 Mag. She does not like any of my Glock .40s but loves my PT 100 Tourus .40. Her absolute favorite is a SS S&W .22 and I think it is a model 617 but she calls it her gun and would shoot it all day long.
Hope your buddy can bring her around or send her packing. There is alot of fun to be had when both are on the same page and can enjoy the shooting sports. We often take a walk in the woods and bet each other who can or can't hit certain objects. She is beginning to get the best of me as my eyes are slowly but surely failing as I age. I guess I have to change what we usually bet :D
Gary
 
Well, i'm the buddy with property in VA that Silverbird and his girl went shooting with...

..Anyway, Silverbird told me that she probably hates the handguns more now then she did before. Said it was an interesting drive home. I would not want to be in his shoes. I also hope she doesnt make him choose.
Click to expand...

Well, be sure to tell us how much you paid when he eventually sells his guns to you.

:D
 
I think the best gun to have her shoot would have been a .22, but even so...

Sounds to me like there's something else going on with her besides just the typical anti-gun brainwashing from the media and her friends. Even if the recoil was a bit unnerving for her, after a few shots she should have relaxed when she realized it wasn't going to hurt her. But now she hates handguns even more?

Then she shoots a rifle and has a great time, gets the hang of it and gets her scope zeroed... That doesn't make sense. Those aren't the reactions of someone who just hates guns. The difference in the two reactions are just too completely opposite to make any sense.

Sounds to me like she might have experienced some sort of incident, maybe years ago, that she hasn't talked about that ingrained a real fear (maybe even on the level of a phobia) of handguns in particular. It just doesn't add up otherwise.
 
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