Girl or Gun

[blo0dyhatchet]

I asked for my wifes opinion. She said ditch her. If she is deathly afraid,, you probably will not be able to change her mind. Mine was not sure about them till I bought her a .22 beretta and took her shooting with it. She loved it after that. Im lucky though. She was at least open minded to begin with.

 

[Joe Demko]

Not reading 6 pages of this. No gun or woman will make you happy in or of it/herself. Spent years and $$$ experiencing many of each before I learned that very simple lesson. Your happiness is a result of you. The fact that you brought this to a "roomful" of strangers means you already decided what you want.

 

[Powderman]

Well, here's one old farts opinion..

First, my little bride and I have been married coming up 40 years now. She knew I liked, and owned guns from day one so I was never in the quandry you find yourself in.

But I honestly believe that IF I had been, I would have told the little honey that either she could accept the fact that firearms would be a part of our lives, or she had the wrong guy.

I know that sounds harsh, but buddy you WILL NOT be able to change her on this issue AFTER a wedding, so if you can't work it out now, BEFORE a wedding you will be one miserable soul...

Additionally, if your wife can dictate to you on this issue, what might be the next issue?

I would try to negotiate this issue with her in one way, and one way only. I would assure her that I was as concerned about firearm safety as much as she was, and would do everything in my power to insure that every measure of caution would be used, but I WOULD have my firearms, period, end of discussion.

This could very well be more an issue of control and her having her way than it is about firearms... The good Lord gave you two gonads, and he didn't give her any. (hopefully).. If you want to hand her your two, that's your business, but it won't make you happy in the long run.

All of the crap about 50/50 equaity in a relationship is IMO sheer BS. A woman wants a man to make the hard calls when they are necessary.. A woman by nature does NOT want to wear the pants in the family, but if the man is willing to hand them over she WILL put them on. And you will forevermore "kitty whipped".

I do NOT mean a man "rules the roost", as I think a marriage based on mutual respect and concern for the other spouses feelings is the only way for a happy marriage to survive. I don't care if you call it 51/49, whatever, sooner or later somebody has to make the hard decisions, and most men have enough self respect they don't want the wife doing it.

I don't mind one bit taking all the crap anybody taking exception to my opinion choses to offer.. I believe what I'm saying, I've got almost 4 decades of reasonably blissful marriage in the books, and my wife and I love each other, and will do so until one of us is "room temperature and toes up".. And at that time the other will wish it were him/her in the box, because we won't be able to bear seeing the other gone....

Be the MAN, love and respect your wife, but keep your nuts in YOUR britches.

Just an old farts opinion.. YMMV

This is by far the definitive post on this thread.

I'm just a medium old fart--married 28 years this year--my wife and I just finished discussing trigger control for when I go to Camp Perry next week.\

Everyone is on their best behavior before marriage. The afterglow usually takes a year or so to wear off, and then it's down to the nut-cutting.

If your bride to be is making these demands BEFORE you marry, you are in for Dante's Seventh Circle once you do tie the knot.

 

[Glock22]

Well I read something on here once about a man who soon after he got married had his wife tell him that he had to many guns. He asked well how many is too many, she said one is to many, he said well they were here first.

You could go that route or you could try and talk about it and slowly help her overcome her fears and bring her into our great firearms culture.

 

[TCB in TN]

I had to sell all but the dearest pcs of my collection after divorcing my ex. Needed the money big time, now don't get me wrong it WAS worth it to get rid of her, but I will have a very hard time ever replacing most of my collection. Don't be stupid, keep the guns, ditch the girl.


My new wife divorced her ex because she was a hunting widow. Our compromise on guns was I could own and shoot all I wanted but need to minimize hunting (not a problem, as I like shooting better than hunting). But I mentioned that at the time of my divorce I owned over 40 guns (sold almost all) :-( , she said as long as I stayed home to clean them and shoot them then she didn't care! I do love that woman!

 

[RubenZ]

stuff like this should have been brought to the table before the "serious"ness happened.

I think on the first date with my fiance I said I would never give up hunting and guns for any girl. She's still with me to this day and actually wants to learn to shoot. BTW, she is not against hunting or guns. She just doesn't see how I could hunt. As for guns she understands having a few for protection and hunting. I'm lucky to have her. She understands my hobbies and my likes just like I respect her decisions to spend money on plants

 

[HeedJSU]

My wife was a semi-anti when we first started dating. after 6 years of dating and 3 months of marriage, and a lot of seeing me daily carry without shooting myself, she actually wants her own pistol! (i just hope she doesn't want to use it on me) sit down and talk it out, the results may surprise you. BTW, I'm in the market for a Taurus .38/.357 snubby if anyone has one to sell. she wants a ladysmith, but im not ready or her to loose one of those..lol

Justin

 

[Kaylee]

1. Any human being or human relationship I would say is more than worth a pile of steel, easy. So if was just that, I'd say "Girl."

2. However, inherent in this problem is a basic worldview clash that would almost certainly just get worse over time. And better to know that now than after you have a house and three kids together.

So I'd have to say see if you can teach her fear out of her now, or else give some serious thought to just looking some more.

-K

(and for what it's worth, the answer I've heard a lot to questions like this that sure makes a lot of sense is...... "you already know the right answer. you just don't like it." )

 

[hankpac]

You are going to walk funny...

...with no balls.

 

[kungfuhippie]

Any human being or human relationship I would say is more than worth a pile of steel, easy.

I disagree, Hitler wasn't worth a pile of steel, barely worth the .380 bullet...
There are many relationships that never do anything good, I have a few ex-girl friends that I'd take with some hindsight I'd choose a broken jennings .22 pistol over that relationship.

Now if it's someone you care about, a pile a steel, a mountain of gold, would not be an equal. But the fact that it goes beyond posessions is dead on Kaylee.

 

[double_trouble]

I'm in the same situation - great girl, but come on.

(My collection is a bit larger than yours, but only 'cause I'm older)

 

[TexasRifleman]

Dump and run. No arguments will sway her and it will only get worse.

Trust me on this one. Oh, REALLY trust me.......

 

[B yond]

Put your pants back on!!!

I know I'm going to come off sounding like a sexist, but seriously...

Why are you asking for her permission to have things you already own? They're your guns, she has no right to try to take them away from you, none. Nada.

If you let her make these decisions for you now, she'll be wearing the pants for the rest of your relationship. You'll end up an unarmed, broken, emotionally castrated, shell of a man.

Besides that, if you tell her you're absolutely not giving up your guns, and she leaves you over it, you know right there how much she really cares about you, and how much she really cares about being able to control you.

You must maintain the upper hand in any serious relationship if you want to be happy with her in the long run.

I know, I'm a pig. I hold the door open for women. I help them over puddles. I offer them my coat when it's cold or raining. I'm a chauvinist. I'm also man of the house, king of my castle, and happily married to a beautiful woman who appreciates me for me.

 

[kingpin008]

Get out now. She's not likely to change, but she'd be more than happy to change you, and make you get rid of all the things you've acquired and like to do.

There are other women.

And think of it like this - all the money you save on dinners, flowers, candy, etc - Ammo, spare powder/primers, new guns..

 

[win71]

If you elect the marital bliss option, trust me, the only question will be "how fast" will it go down hill. My ex-wife Bulldog only started liking my guns when her leg chopping, nasty, anti gun attorney told her they were half hers............

 

[Snowdiver]

I STILL have my first gun.

 

[GotGlock]

Tell her to go pound sand and be done with it.

 

[pablo45]

I don't think any chick is worth losing this collection over. Plus,

After the plus you should say she is trying to change you. That's the last thing you need is for someone changing your hobby's and habit's. Next she will have you changing your mind. Do not go to the dark side my friend it is scary over there in unarmed-ville.

 

[ConfuseUs]

Tell her owning guns is part of who you are and you aren't going to change. Tell her also that you owned guns before you met her; you aren't a bad person, getting rid of your guns will not make you a better person.
If the two of you do naked cuddle time, quit while you're ahead. Explain that it is because you don't think she respects you if she asks why.

 

[Skirmisher]

Either get her to the range to shoot and have some fun or let her go. A family that shoots together, stays together. My husband and I have been married 50 years and we still go hunting and shooting together. I never pass a gun shop and never saw a gun I didn't love.

 

[Picknlittle]

It's one thing for a woman to try changing your table manners, perhaps the way you dress or even talk, but there are things that you are passionate about, things and places you go to for escape from work, or the rest of the world. These things make you happy and define who you are. She will do you and your relationship more harm than good.

Tell her, "See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!"

 

[Elza]

I walked in a few weeks ago with an AK47. My wife’s only comment; “Did you get a good price on it?”

My ammo supply was dwindling a while back. Considering the rising prices I bought something over 6,000 rounds. Her only concern was when I was going to get off of the living room floor. (It takes time to put that much into stripper and Garand clips.)

32 years as of October 16th. Plus, she likes to shoot as well.

 

[paramedic70002]

Give her 2 choices:

1. She gets a concealed carry permit and carries 24/7. Find room to compromise in no less than 5 years.

2. You stay at your armed place and she stays at her unarmed place. Go over there whenever you want relations. Tell her you cannot marry her under these conditions but you'll be happy to keep having realtions, or whatever you do together that makes you happy.

By the way, I'm assuming that she HAS been in the same house with guns, it just became an issue once you mentioned it. How does she feel about that?

 

[tinygnat219]

Try to find out WHY she's afraid of guns. Did something happen to her, a family member, or friend? Is she a Bradyite? Is she a Hoplophobe?
Find out first, and then see if she is willing to confront that fear by offering her a trip to the range.

If she's uncompromising, then it's simple. You might not like the answer, but it's simple.

 

[anygunanywhere]

My Take

The decision, of course, will be yours. Be prepared to accept the consequences.

Mrs. Anygun has never questioned "why" I am such a firearms enthusiast or RKBA absolutist. Maybe that is part of my charm.

She pretty much shares my 2A view, but in a more reserved manner. She will readily admit she is not an enthusiast, but a more practical user. She is a helluva wing shot, and don't dare challenge her to a shoot with a scoped rifle because you will probably lose.

That said, we have our differences. We have been married 32 years, and believe me, I can count on one hand, and not use all of the fingers that remain, the number of issues that we have accepted the other's point of view.

We have multiple ways of dealing with this. Mostly we just ignore it. Several issues we just do not do anymore since it really pi**es the other one off (her watching friggin Oprah, me holding her head under the covers when...)

The issue you have though, I do not understand. When someone states that they are deadly afraid of an inanimate object I question their sanity. The wife hates snakes, but I can accept that as normal. I dislike spiders (having been bitten several times). I am deathly afraid of nothing that I can think of right now. If something bothers me I do something about it. That is the real rub. What is she doing to allay her fear? What would she do to protect her child? What would she do to protect you? When we commit to one another (hey ladies!!), shouldn't that also mean that we would do anything (No greater love is this, says Jesus) including protect to the death one another?

If my love, my woman, my wife had ever told me she would not use every tool at her disposal, including avaiable firearms, to protect me or our sons I would have dumped her like a wheelbarrow load of dirt.

Anygun