Old krow,
I don't have a very specific answer for you (at least as to which trainer would be "best") but I think you and even jfdavis58 are not far off the right track. You're getting at some of what I was trying to say with my "what do you want..." line of discussion back a page or two. Obviously you can weed out (almost) any class with "tactical" or "competition" in the title and carbine courses are probably not where you want to go as most of them seem to be focused a bit beyond simple self-defense.
Most instructors are going to recommend (maybe even require) a sturdy belt and holster and a way to carry reloads. It's a class with lots of shooting. Your equipment needs to be up to the task, safe, and no-one wants to wait for you to go back to the bench and find 5 more .38s because you don't carry any reloads.
The more deeply/casually you carry -- meaning, only in a pocket, only a KelTec or J-frame, no spare mag or reload, etc (or if you only carry in a shoulder holster, cross-draw, SOB, ankle, Thunderwear, etc.) -- the harder it will be to find a course that teaches that specific thing. Those are tricky set-ups for range use (both for safety reasons and for class pacing), and you may be best served with a one-on-one private class with an instructor. That, of course, can be expensive.
I don't know of any instructors teaching a personal self-defense oriented class that would prohibit IWBs, though. Heck, you can compete with them in IDPA, etc., so there should be no trouble with that in a class.
As for class content, an honest assessment of skill level is probably a good start. I know everyone thinks they're an awesome shot (
) but I mean, for real... Decide for yourself if you shoot Expert/Master level in IDPA/USPSA or other competition, you might not want to spend hundreds of dollars on a class that's going to have you doing a lot of basic marksmanship drills. (Though almost everyone can learn something useful from a good teacher going over fundamentals.) Maybe you should be looking at a more advanced class focusing on the
fighting aspects.
If, on the other hand, you're a pistol owner and CCW-er, but really don't get more than 100 rds. a month downrange, and that on paper targets on a "square" range -- then a course that gives you a good grounding in using your holster, obtaining a proper grip and smooth draw, reloading (hey, everyone runs out of ammo eventually!
), quickly obtaining a sight picture, and smooth trigger control is going to be a really valuable upgrade to your skills. Some trainer or other has as his slogan the old saw about "speed is fine but accuracy is final." That's at least half-way true. Gotta have the fundamentals down.
How far above those fundamentals do you want to go? And in which direction? That depends on a couple of things. If you are at a stage where, for example, getting the "rule of 3s" (3 shots, 3 yards, 3 sec starting with the gun holstered in your normal carry mode) down pat is challenging, then the best course for you is going to reign back the scope of instruction to getting your gunhandling skills developed.
I understand what jfdavis58 is getting at with the "falling out of the chair, shooting under it" type stuff. There are courses that take accomplished shooters who have already demonstrated proficiency at the fundamentals and understand how to work with a gun in a social setting, and put them through drills that seek to simulate the very worst of gunfighting situations (teaching how to react to being tackled, trying to draw with your arms pinned or while being pummled, trying to retain your weapon while fending off a knife attack, how to shoot an attacker that's on top of you pinning you to the ground, etc.). Not everyone wants to go through that, or even believes that they could find themselves in those situations.
However, in between the "stand and deliver" range work of drawing your gun and putting shots on a cardboard target at 7 yds, and the heavy-duty "fighting with a gun" courses, there is the reality of how actual gunfights happen on the street.
Personally, I think training for something a bit more complicated, a bit more difficult, a bit less likely than you're ever going to encounter in real life makes some sense. At the very least, a mid-level self-defense class should have you
moving while shooting, especially moving off the "line of force." I would want to see some practice in shooting "from retention" meaning very close, VERY fast, unsighted fire at targets from 0-3 yds. That's extremely practical stuff and there are right and wrong ways of going about it. Shooting around cover is also a great thing to be shown how to do, especially how to use that cover correctly, not crowd it, and how to keep your own target profile as small as possible. If circumstances allow, a good self-defense course really aught to get into the proper use of a flashlight in low/no light situations. That is just HARD, no two ways about it, and deserves more practice than folks usually put into it.
In truth, no one
ever had to draw their gun to protect their life against a flat cardboard person, standing still, 7 yds away, on a nice range, on a sunny day, with a convenient timer going "beep" to tell them when they should react to the "attack."