Home Invasion Aftermath

[nelson133]

A couple of weeks ago 'i wrote about fending off a home invasion at a friend's with a gun. No shots were fire, no one was injured, and the bad guys were gone in a hurry.
For me the after affects are small. a slightly raised level of alertness and a small increase in overall confidence. But there have been major effects for her.
Perhaps because shed doesn't yet have a gun, she keeps flashing back to what could of happened if neither of us had been armed. This is a very frightening thought for her and is why she is getting one. In Michigan, I can't loan her a pistol, she has to get her own. We are going to the range today with a different assortment of guns to try to figure out what would be beat for her. If she can't afford one that works for her, I will help her out.
The biggest problem for her has been the reaction of others. I know this will come as no surprise to those of us who are long term members of the gun fraternity, but there are many people out there who would rather someone die than be defended by a gun. While her family has been supportive of her, some friends, acquaintances, ands co-workers have been very critical of her, and by extension, me. I don't know these people and I don't care what they think, but she is hurt and angry. She believes that she has already lost some friends because she refused to agree with them that having the gun was wrong. She has had to endure the usual range of stupid and self-righteous comments from "you should have called 911" to "having a gun just escalated the danger of violence." She has not backed down from any of these people, after all, she was there and saw what happened. She said to one of the 911 proponents that 911 would have been a great solution because the police could have gotten there while her body was still fresh, and had a better chance of getting good clues, or maybe catching the bag guys as they were leaving.

 

[FieroCDSP]

I'd say whe's finding out who her real friends are. Any "friend" who can listen to a story where your life was quite likely in danger, and then find fault in that you're taking your personal safety more seriously, is NOT a friend. I'd wonder if they're even human. I'd say your friend has been lucky to learn a lesson the easiest of the common ways. For many, lesson learned is too late. You and her should "stick to your guns" and believe that when the SHTF, those "friends" will think of you.

 

[Duckster]

I concur with FieroCDSP

I know from experience that some things are hard to get over. The fact that you both got a second chance is a blessing. I concur with FieroCDSP, stick to your principles and forget about those friends. People have a way of changing there tune when the other shoe is on their foot.

It is a blessing that you both are okay

 

[Frog48]

Any "friend" who can listen to a story where your life was quite likely in danger, and then find fault in that you're taking your personal safety more seriously, is NOT a friend.

Thats so true.

Yall keep your heads up, you did, and are continuing to do, the right thing. The "you should have called 911" crowd are the types that criminals like to victimize. If they keep up with that attitude, one day they'll get whats coming.

 

[cambeul41]

FieroCDSP, Duckster, and Grant48 are right

I believe, though, that you could loan her a long gun.

 

[1911Tuner]

Defense

Several years ago, one of my co-workers who had a hard stance against owning a handgun for defense...but was an avid skeet shooter and upland hunter...met a new gal who came with a fairly heavy piece of baggage in the form of an ex-husband who refused to accept the fact that they had been divorced for 3 years.

New girlfriend warned "Joe" about the situation, and Joe...being young and fairly large and in fine shape...shrugged it off with an "I can handle it" attitude.

One night, OCD ex-hubby made a dramatic entrance into the cookout after all guests had gone home, leaving Joe and "Cindy" to tidy up. To make it short, the the guy cleaned Joe's clock in less time than it takes to tell about it. Several stitches...a badly flattened nose...a dislocated shoulder...and 6 weeks medical leave from work later...Joe approaches me with a request to sell him a pistol. I declined, but invited him to try a few of mine on for size so that he could make an informed decision, and directed to him to a dealer who could order pretty much anything that he wanted. He settled on a
Smith Model 37 Airweight.

The lady finally took out a restraining order and Joe took the guy with a warrant. He did 90 days and moved out of state on his release. Joe and Cindy got married and at last report were expecting their second baby.

Tell your girlfriend that she won't be able to change anybody's mind on the issue...until they're assaulted in their own homes...and dropping the subject is probably her best approach.

 

[SniperStraz]

Here's a solution: Stop telling people. Problem solved. I'm guessing that she has only scratched the surface of the knowledge of guns, gun laws, rights and so forth. There's no reason to be alienated because she wants to defend herself. If she is capable of verbally defending the "gun fraternity" and is willing to lose friends over it thats her choice, but if it becomes a problem she should just keep her mouth shut about it until she is willing to lose friends over it. I don't know if that time will ever come, and it doesn't have to. I get the feeling that as a "new shooter" she might not really know how to respond when people antagonize her, maybe going over that with her would help her be more confident in her decision.

 

[nelson133]

I offered her a light weight carbine, but she doesn't feel comfortable with it, a pistol seems to be the only thing that works. I had a talk with her last night about other people's reactions. I asked if she now knew why soldiers who had been in combat didn't talk about it to civilians, since those who haven't been there won't understand.

 

[TallPine]

Well, at least now she knows who her true friends are and aren't

 

[JWarren]

I can't say this plainer...

Those "friends" are idiots.

I would find it extremely insulting that they are asserting thier views on you and your girlfriend when THEY WERE NOT THERE. It's easy to hold utopian ideals when you've never faced the fire.

You and your girlfriend are fortunate as to how things worked out, and moreover, you are fortunate that you have a deep understanding now of a need for preparation for such eventualities.

I'd let it go with the friends that thier mentality is the very reason why Cold Case Files always has subject matter for episodes.

God, I hate masochistic people who strive to be victims--- but insist that you do as well.


You can do better.


John

 

[sacp81170a]

Think of it this way: most fuzzy headed liberals hold the views they do because they've never been confronted with a living, breathing example of the fallacy of their views. You and your girlfriend can rest assured that her circle of acquaintances will fall into several categories after they've had time to digest this "new and strange idea" of someone taking personal responsibility for their own safety.

There are some who will continue to project their own helplessness on her and insist that she remain helpless so they won't have to confront their own inadequacy. There are others who will warm up to the idea after they've had time to think it over. Of those, some will actually begin to look on the idea in a positive manner, and a smaller percentage will take positive steps to emulate her example. People are basically inattentive (I don't want to use the word "lazy" here, because that's not really the case) to many matters because the realities never impinge on their day to day lives. This state of blissful ignorance existed for your girlfriend until she was confronted with the reality.

When reality injects itself into the consciousness of her friends via her experience, can you blame some for resisting the fact that she disturbs their quiet little worlds? Look at this as a positive sign. We never make progress without encountering resistance.

 

[tinygnat219]

nelson133,

Silly question here, but does Michigan law forbid you from selling one you already own to her? If so, well then, I think you are doing her right by loaning her the cash. If not, maybe sell it to her for a buck and complete a bill of sale for her. Just a thought, depending on the urgency of the situation.

As for her "friends", they didn't go through the hell that you and she went through. She might ask if they'd be willing to come down to the morgue to id her body next time if she heeded their advice. For most likely, without that gun, one of you would probably have been in that situation.
Maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and give them some time to accept what might have happened. Who knows, they might be in their own shocked version of "this happened to someone I know".

 

[SoCalShooter]

I'd say you did a good thing and you and she are on the right track. I doubt those people have every experienced a home invasion (blissninnies), and most of them believe that as soon as you call the police that they magically transport themselves into your living room. Tell the BG you have called the police is probably not going to work either, average BG knows he can grab something before the cops are even a block away. Keep up with helping her, what you have now is a sheep exposed to the slaughter, now you will have to help her to become an armed sheep.

 

[Black Knight]

Tell her to forget about the "friends or is it fiends" that she is losing. A "friend" that would rather visit you in the hospital or attend your funeral after such an event instead seeing you at work or home after defending yourself is NO friend but is a fiend. She will develop more real friends as she gets further in the gun world. She will run across others who had a similar experience and those who already know that it can happen and have decided to refuse to be a victim. The NRA has just such a program, enroll her in it. It is called "Refuse to be a victim". It might ease her nerves a bit and help with those new friends.

 

[Mr White]

Nelson, just curious... Other than the usual lame "should have called 911", what were their alternative ideas on how she should defend herself from a similar situation in the future?

It always seems people like that are quick to tell people what not to do without offering up any viable alternatives.

 

[starboard]

I think your friend's safety takes precedence over following some idiot "no gun lending" law.

 

[Aguila Blanca]

I think your friend's safety takes precedence over following some idiot "no gun lending" law.

I think that suggesting to someone you've never met that breaking the law would be a good idea is a bit irresponsible. It doesn't matter how idiotic the law is, the jail still looks the same on the inside.

 

[Green Lantern]

Good Lord....I think my faith in humanity just bottomed out after hearing about the CRAP her "freinds" are giving her over this situation...!

Then again, maybe the poster who early on said that those people probably DIDN'T qualify as "human" had it right. To look at ANYone - someone you know or a stranger - and in effect tell them that it would have been more honorable to die/get beaten/get raped than to have a gun used in your defense...! Well, these people must have ice water running through their veins.

She needs more REAL friends - like you, nelson!!

Hey - has she asked any of these arrogoant meatheads if it STILL would have been horrible that she was saved by someone with a gun if it would have been a COP there, instead of the presumably "civvie" OP?

I'm just flabbergasted. It's one thing to hear people say that as a hypothetical....I've heard it myself. But to actually say those things to the FACE of someone that survived an attack....GAH! :banghead:

 

[computerguysd]

"Those "friends" are idiots"

I couldn't agree more. When I was younger and traveled for my work, I took a number of women out to shoot and make gun purchases, unfortunately most of them had already been assaulted.

"When seconds count, 911 can respond within minutes..."

 

[coelacanth]

warm fuzzies.....

Assuming your lady friend is even a little bummed out re: the loss of a "friend" or two in the aftermath of the attempted home invasion, imagine the warm, fuzzy sense of cameraderie she'll experience knowing several hundred THR posters and anyone else with a brain would be proud to call her a friend. My own yuppie, flaming liberal sister in law gave my wife the same speech your lady heard from her "friends" in a similar situation but oddly enough a few months later when her own ass was on the line during a week-end camping trip she was more than happy to be standing behind my wife and the 12 guage when a truckload of unsavory characters decided to do a little more than just drive by and look. She realized just how long it might take for the local county sheriff's dept. to respond to a call in a place 8 or 9 miles off the paved highway. If she still harbors any nonsensical notions about 2nd amendment issues she at least has the decency to stifle herself when the subject comes up. If I were a betting man, ( grin ) I'd bet a few of your lady's "friends" will be revising their thinking when they realize she is serious about self-protection and actually able and willing to make sure she is not an easy target.

 

[Zundfolge]

Nobody needs bigots in their life (and yes, anti gun folk are nothing but bigots).

It sucks in the short term, but in the long term these "friends" are more likely to be a liability than an asset.

 

[MikePGS]

I remember you making the post awhile ago... some guys opened the door and walked in, you pulled a gun and then they "remembered" they were in the wrong house... right? Good job on that... also i don't believe it is against Michigan state law to sell someone a gun personally, though i think in general people ask for you to get a purchase permit as proof that you can legally own a firearm so as to avoid any legal complications from such an act. Also i think its also legal to give someone a firearm as a gift, but i should have prefaced all of that by saying that i don't know for sure, and that you'd be best calling your local police station and asking before attempting any of that stuff.

 

[creitzel]

... also i don't believe it is against Michigan state law to sell someone a gun personally, though i think in general people ask for you to get a purchase permit as proof that you can legally own a firearm so as to avoid any legal complications from such an act. Also i think its also legal to give someone a firearm as a gift, but i should have prefaced all of that by saying that i don't know for sure, and that you'd be best calling your local police station and asking before attempting any of that stuff.

It is against Michigan law for her to take possession of a handgun in any fashion (whether it be gifted to her, loaned to her, inherited, bought from an FFL, or bought from a private party) without a pistol purchase permit. The only way that you can legally take possession of a handgun in Michigan without a purchase permit, is to have a Michigan CPL, and then you still have to do the bogus safety inspection thing.

I concur with the earlier posters who said that the folks that are giving her a hard time about this, are not her real friends. Good job helping her get setup with some protection, nelson133. That's a true friend

 

[starboard]

I think that suggesting to someone you've never met that breaking the law would be a good idea is a bit irresponsible. It doesn't matter how idiotic the law is, the jail still looks the same on the inside.

Sometimes you need to help someone at risk to yourself, and sometimes the moral conflicts with and supercedes the legal in your own eyes as an upstanding person. This may or may not be one of those situations. I'm just saying to the OP, don't be paralyzed by default into regrettable inaction by following every technicality, if your conscience is telling you to act.

 

[nelson133]

What she did was stand up to her "friends" and now she is sad that she may have lost them as friends, but her mind is clear about whether she is in the right.
Yesterday we went to the range and she did more firing of center fire pistols. She liked the Ruger P95, the same as my other shooter girl friend, and the 1911, but her favorite was the Sig P220. In Michigan, as stated above, you cannot loan a handgun and you cannot transfer it with going through all the legal folderol. I am going to help her get one as she cannot afford it right now, I just have to convince her that it is okay to take such help from me.
It is nice to be with some one who I know will never say anything negative about my carrying a gun.