Household Weapons

[thesolidus]

You've all heard the story how in medieval Japan peasants (me) were banned from owning weapons. They practiced using household tools and these became the martial arts weapons we know today.

In the same vein i'm looking for our favorite household weapons.

Sporting equipment is okay, but unless I play it's hard to excuse Cold Steel indestructable baseball bat.

Some of my favorites...
1- A Sharpie marker. Accidental use (oops Officer, didn't know it was in my hand when I jabbed it into that muggers pressure point also accidentally)
2- A really bright flashlight. I have a 3 and a 6 watt LED, metal case, fits in a fist nicely and would make a devastating hammer fist strike. Better yet, a flash or two to the eyes and a quick movement and the person strikes in the wrong direction. I've sparred with it and it annoys the hell out of friends.
3- Bear Repellant. Basically pepper spray for bears. Buy a can at REI, hang it from a outdoorsy looking backpack (read Bug out Bag) in your vehicle. I figure any 16 oz can that can spray a cloud of Grizzly bear stopping pepper up to 30 feet away can handle one or two thugs. (Oh! This works on people! I had Nooooo Idea! I'm not carrying a weapon! It's repellant! Like mosquito repellant for bears! (Don't laugh some schlob at REI actually asked that.))
4. A hammer. Small, hard, nice claw to grapple with. Hell replace those Japanese sickles with a pair of light hammers and you have a martial art. Or go hammer and long shaft screwdriver. They are 'weapons of opportunity' as long as unmodified and (ahem) unplanned.
5. A powder fire extinguisher. Get a little stove or boat one if you live somewhere where pepper spray is illegal and there's no bears. Keep it in your car (you know, for fires...) They are a little cumbersome in comparison but if you want to clear a couple people... displacing oxygen with eye irritating powder will do for a minute, then you have a nice big club.

Just a couple ideas...
And again. ANY THING you hurt someone with is a weapon in the courts eyes. But carrying something for defense, in a place you might not be allowed to carry a knife or gun (most of California),
hey... It's just a (blank)

"They tell you never to hit a man with a closed fist. But it is, on occasion, hilarious." Malcom Reynolds

 

[JShirley]

Welcome to THR. Defensive tools are all around us, if we look.

I prefer distance, so I also believe a fire extinguisher could be pressed into defensive use. If they get too close- impact weapon.

 

[Hungry Seagull]

Let's see. A drawer full of knifes. It broken and comes right out and can be swung into invader. Whoops, sorry Officer I was falling down and needed to grab something quick to catch myself.

A mopbucket with bleach or something in it. Same tatic as drawer or just the mop in invader's face. Used to have that done to me as a kid (Back then child abuse was not a word)

Fire extinguisher can really create a problem, whoops that cheap rack finally broke, guess I will have to replace it now.

There is a chain of a length suitable for wrapping around feet/legs of intruder and haul. Whoops... sorry officer how did that tool box get spilled I dont know.

And finally my personal favorite. Desiel starting fluid in a spray can. Whoo are you feeling a bit whoozy there mister? You want to lie down a little while I call the medic and cops to help you?

Anything beyond those three rooms is the kill zone and real weapons.

 

[hso]

thesolidus,

Welcome! You've got the right perspective. We've had plenty of discussions on airline, no-gun/knife zone defense. You'll fit right in.

 

[sm]

thesolidus,

Welcome to THR!

Yep, yep, yep...household and staying safe...

Why I miss the old days when you could throw a really good, heavy, kerosene lamp at the BG, knock 'em down and out.
Then toss the BG in a bathtub of water, and then use the hand crank telephone to keep 'em there until the Deputies arrived.

Then "progress" got us the hard metal black rotary telephones, hardwired to the wall.
Man, them suckers would flat put the hurt on a BG. Still we missed zapping BGs like we did with hand cranks, ...

Now we got these light new-fangled portable phones...

It was better in the old days, 'cause when you cranked that handle just a wee bit...
BG sitting in that tub of water would start "volunteering" how many break ins he'd done, or who his running buddies were or....

*zzzzap*

 

[Hungry Seagull]

We used to keep old batteries in a bucket with just enough water in it. Toss a electical cord in there and run. The flash, boom and the drama will freeze the intruder and maybe splash him or her too.

But today? I might be the one jailed for that little bit so I dont use that tatic anymore.

 

[CapnMac]

Had to go into the kitchen for a minute and bumped against my carpentty tool belt--this thread made me raise an eyebrow after that. Bit of mayhem there if a person were of a mind. Waffle-faced 18" 20oz framing hammer for one. 3-4 different prybars and cat's paws, too. Nail sets, punched, an awl, and 2 sharpened, and 3 unsharpened pencils, too.

It's all in the mens rea after all.

 

[Piedmont Plinker]

My personal favorite:
Cane/umbrella stand.
Right by the door.
I have a silver handled cane, light but strong.
Now, I took fencing a little bit, and played with a bunch of swords when I was young. I can wield this thing fairly well, and against anything but a gun, I'd take my odds (long reach + long weapon.)
I also have this irrational fear of opening the door when the doorbell rings to be confronted by burglars. Cane by the door provides a good solution for this.
Other ones are kitchen knives. The big chef's knife is right by the stove, easy to access in its block.
I think there might actually be a deterrence factor from a six-seven, 250lb redhead brandishing a kitchen knife.
Another one, I often cook in cast iron. Steve is gonna kill me- I use Le Creuset enameled cast iron (although I have a couple of Lodge products.) Notwithstanding, I cook with heavy, hot stuff. When strategically applied to someone's face, I think it would hurt.

 

[hso]

CZ.22,

Don't keep your good knives in a block. Can't be cleaned and dulls the edge.

 

[BigDeesul]

Well, I keep my Ruger P95 loaded with Federal Hydra shocks, but I suppose my favorite backup weapons are the old "Hospital and the graveyard", those being my left and right fists. Never failed me yet!!

 

[maskedman504]

Seconding the umbrella stand with a good cane in it; I have an old cane I found at a flea market that has a brass horsehead for the handle (5 in. L x 1 3/4 in. H x 1 in. W). It is the two-piece type that screws together in the middle. All of the hardware is heavy brass and I am confident it could serve in a defensive role; especially since it is handy right by the front door.

 

[highorder]

If I sit in one place long enough, you can usually count on a beer bottle or two.

Also, 3 cast iron skillets in the oven, 3 hockey sticks by the door.

 

[TimboKhan]

Now, I took fencing a little bit, and played with a bunch of swords when I was young.

So, last week?

 

[JImbothefiveth]

Other than firearms? I have some blocks I could use, some OC spray, and maybe glass drink containers. I also can also just fight someone, although if someone breaks in to my house I can't count on them not having a firearm.

Why I miss the old days when you could throw a really good, heavy, kerosene lamp at the BG, knock 'em down and out.
Then toss the BG in a bathtub of water, and then use the hand crank telephone to keep 'em there until the Deputies arrived.

Then "progress" got us the hard metal black rotary telephones, hardwired to the wall.
Man, them suckers would flat put the hurt on a BG. Still we missed zapping BGs like we did with hand cranks, ...

Now we got these light new-fangled portable phones...

It was better in the old days, 'cause when you cranked that handle just a wee bit...
BG sitting in that tub of water would start "volunteering" how many break ins he'd done, or who his running buddies were or....

*zzzzap*

While I'm pretty sure he's joking, I fear a chairborne ranger is going to take this seriously. DO NOT TRY THIS YOURSELF.

It will probably kill the person, who is no longer a threat. In other words, it's a murder. Also, although I'm no an electrician, I think you might get zapped yourself.

 

[Omaha-BeenGlockin]

Fireplace poker-----golf clubs

Either of those could ruin someone's day if applied properly.

 

[Gunfighter123]

Wasp Killer spray ---- never used it but I bet it would be a killer if sprayed in the face.

 

[Piedmont Plinker]

HSO-
I really don't have an alternative to the knife block. It's parents' house and their knives.

Now, I took fencing a little bit, and played with a bunch of swords when I was young.

So, last week?

Hardy har har. Try two years ago.
Seriously, though, you remember things- like keeping a distance, or using feints, etc. My play-yard sword fighting was quite advanced.

 

[Mp7]

always have a boiling hot cup of coffee around.

Ooops. Sorry. The BG surpised me.... and i accidently splashed him,
while trying to raise my arms and scream in terror

 

[Mp7]

i guess those longrange anti-hornet sprays would indeed be
quite handy, too.

 

[Cannonball888]

I'll have to watch Home Alone again for some ideas.

 

[bikerdoc]

Best weapon in my house - the wife. and dog
Ya I could hit, stab, or shoot him. But it would be more fun to say" honey did you here that," Then just be the back up.

She is 10 year younger than me and can hit, stab, and shoot better than me.
But me thinks mr intruder is gonna get a terrible beating, Especially if the rotty gets to him first. then momma applies some corrective redneck education on negative social behavior, with whatever is at hand.

 

[Duke of Doubt]

A few feet away from me right now in my den reposes a cast-iron antique Ansonia chiming mantle clock. My family traditionally has referred to it as "The Black Bomber." Said Black Bomber is about the size of a large radio or small television, and weighs approximately 100 pounds. It is in Victorian neoclassical/Richardsonian design, with lots of nice sharp angles.

It looks a bit like this one, only much larger:

http://i2.ebayimg.com/05/i/001/35/fe/e23a_2.JPG

In the event of an invasion, I suppose that rather than grab my 1911A1, a couple feet away, I could choose to get up and take the Black Bomber on a high-altitude mission. Getting "clocked" from above would be quite the memorable event, I am sure.

 

[ColdCoffeeMug]

Seeing as I have a certain penchant for breaking yard tools, shovel handles abound and seem to fit the bill quite nicely. Longer than a baseball bat and what else am I going to do with em?

 

[dagger dog]

Have you ever faced a highly PO'd wife with a rolling pin?!

 

[WomenofCaliber]

Believe it or not a magazine could kill a person. If you roll it up really tight and twist it you get a really sharp point on one end. You could jam it into their throat. Try rolling up a magazine and see what I am talking about.