Obligation to Disclose That You Carry When at Someone's House

[EnderWiggin]

How do you guys feel about this? I have some family members that are terrified of guns for no good reason. Therefore, I have some questions:

• Is it rude of me to go into their house while concealed carrying?
• Should I let them know if I am?
• If someone was concealed carrying while in your house would you want to know?

Now I know that I started this in reference to my family but I would like to know your opinions on the above mentioned questions in other houses as well such as friends, strangers, etc. Do you feel that it's none of their business no matter who they are? Do you feel that you should respect their fear of guns and not bring one into their house? These are the types of answers I am looking for.

 

[Mp7]

I think it´s always good to honour the rules
of the host. Guns, smoking, drinking, pot ... whatever it may be.

As long as u have good friends, who bring good friends ....
it would not be my biz if someone carries a gun
or a knife ... its his choice.

With complete strangers, who want to show courtesy
by informing me ... they´d be welcome for the fact
that they let me choose ...

It´s a matter of streetwise IMO.

 

[Just One Shot]

For me it's,
No.
No.
&
No.

If it's concealed then it shouldn't be an issue.

If they have expressed the fact that they don't allow guns in thier house it's a simple matter for me not to visit them.

 

[LHRGunslinger]

My house, My rules. I feel it'd be good manners to ask. Lets say I was terrified of..., lets say plush bunnies, and you brought a plush bunny over without asking me I would be rather upset. Just clear whatever you're bringin over with them.

 

[230therapy]

Nope. My safety is none of their business.

 

[dovedescending]

I've stopped telling people. It's concealed for a reason. I don't want ANYBODY to know about it unless I need to use it. In which case, they'll be happy I have it.

I told my wife, when in doubt, just assume I've got a gun on, and don't mention it.

 

[mstrat]

I can only speak hypothetically, since I live in one of the only places in the country that bans all forms of carry.... but

If they say or otherwise communicate (e.g. signs) that guns aren't allowed in their house, I would definitely respect their wishes and wouldn't carry there (or alternatively, not visit at all).

But unless I've been forbidden from carrying, I would. It's concealed so they would never know anyway (unless it was ever needed, in which case they'd likely be thankful).

 

[LubeckTech]

Home or where ever if it is not posted it should not be an issue.
I frequently see people make comment about carrying in places that are posted "the most they can do is make you leave" - in some states that is trespassing and you can be arrested for it. The moral is know the laws of your state.

 

[EnderWiggin]

If they have expressed the fact that they don't allow guns in thier house it's a simple matter for me not to visit them.

This statement leads me to another question:
What if they never say they don't allow guns because they don't even know you own a gun?

Basically, my issue is that I do not want to disclose that I own a gun MUCH LESS let them know that I carry (my family would probably flip out). But it may be worse if they were to find out by accident while I am in their house (my gun prints or I lie down and part of it shows or they hug me and feel it, etc).

That also leads to another question which is:
Is it safer to let them know in case something happens (i.e. they decide they want to play a prank on you that entails pulling your pants down or anything stupid like that that may cause someone to come in contact with your firearm and possibly dislodge it from it's holster). This "prank" may not be the best example but it's enough to emphasize what I mean.

EDIT: Also, not visiting them is out of the question since they are family.

 

[psyopspec]

Everyone has a right to self-defense. A concealed handgun is often the most practical tool that can be carried in this vain. Therefore, no problem if it's my house. I won't ask, and I don't expect that information to be volunteered anymore than I'd expect someone to give me the details of their love life.

If I'm in someone else's house, I'll assume they also respect the right to self-defense unless informed otherwise. In that case (signs, or if it comes up in conversation) I'd remove myself and any carry weapons from the premises, and respect their wishes by not returning. I'm all for being principled, but if being part of the family means gathering at anti-gun Aunt Mae's once a year for Thanksgiving dinner, I'd leave the gun before going and deal with it for a couple hours.

What if they never say they don't allow guns because they don't even know you own a gun?

There's a time and a place to discuss your carry habits with people who aren't your gun buddies. The time is never. I'll let you figure out the place.

Basically, my issue is that I do not want to disclose that I own a gun MUCH LESS let them know that I carry (my family would probably flip out). But it may be worse if they were to find out by accident while I am in their house (my gun prints or I lie down and part of it shows or they hug me and feel it, etc).

Change your mode of carry to suit the occasion, or avoid the behaviors you're describing. Or if you're that bothered by the prospect, leave it in the car.

That also leads to another question which is:
Is it safer to let them know in case something happens (i.e. they decide they want to play a prank on you that entails pulling your pants down or anything stupid like that that may cause someone to come in contact with your firearm and possibly dislodge it from it's holster). This "prank" may not be the best example but it's enough to emphasize what I mean.

EDIT: Also, not visiting them is out of the question since they are family.

I've never had a family member pull my pants down, so I couldn't say.

 

[elcaminoariba]

* Is it rude of me to go into their house while concealed carrying?
* Should I let them know if I am?
* If someone was concealed carrying while in your house would you want to know?

1. No. They let you in. By definition they are declaring themselves to be hospitable. Part of being hospitable is accepting people the way they are or you wouldn't have let them in. People nowadays try to have everything both ways. They want to pretend to be hospitable (when it's convenient), and then micromanage things.

2. No. Do you tell people the color of your underwear when you walk into a home? Frankly it's none of their business. They let you in, they declared themselves to be hospitable, and part of being hospitable is giving people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to whatever is under their clothes. If you can't trust a person, DON'T LET THEM IN.

3. Of course I'd want to know, but then, the people I let in my house, I ALREADY know them well enough to answer this.

 

[230therapy]

EDIT: Also, not visiting them is out of the question since they are family.

Which brings up the "family" problem.

Don't be afraid to talk about it. Either they want your presence or not. They will compromise if they want you to attend.

I just refuse to bend. I lay out my rules for handling (none: it stays in the holster) and a gun in a holster is as safe as a car in a garage. If they make some comment about arguments causing violence, I just point to the knife rack and ask them how many people they've stabbed (I use that prop frequently and have these discussions in the kitchen). They get the idea that real life is different than what the TV would have them believe.

When this was pushed one time, I did not attend. It showed them that I was consistent in philosophy and behavior. Changing for convenience shows a lack of conviction. They know my established rules and if they schedule an event in a tyrannical state, they are knowingly excluding me. I have no problem with missing "Girls' Shopping Day in Leftist Central".

In general, I have found they would rather keep the peace and not talk about it (out of sight, out of mind) rather than have a confrontation. Concealed carry definitely works better in this case (though certain activists I know have made their families so numb they don't notice OC). However, in one instance, I did offer a compromise by moving the location of the event. It was turned down, permission "granted" and nothing else was said. That's about as good as it gets with commie liberal family members who are out to screw me of my property and rights (other than avoiding certain topics of conversation).

 

[Just One Shot]

This statement leads me to another question:
What if they never say they don't allow guns because they don't even know you own a gun?

If it's not stated then it wouldn't be something that would concern me.

Basically, my issue is that I do not want to disclose that I own a gun MUCH LESS let them know that I carry (my family would probably flip out). But it may be worse if they were to find out by accident while I am in their house (my gun prints or I lie down and part of it shows or they hug me and feel it, etc).

You can come up with a million hypothetical situations but remember, it's called concealed for a reason. If you are doing it right they should never find out. I wouldn't worry about crossing that bridge until I got to it.

That also leads to another question which is:
Is it safer to let them know in case something happens (i.e. they decide they want to play a prank on you that entails pulling your pants down or anything stupid like that that may cause someone to come in contact with your firearm and possibly dislodge it from it's holster). This "prank" may not be the best example but it's enough to emphasize what I mean.

The thing is, my immediate family all know I carry. They've known I've had guns since I was 14 years old.

I don't have to worry about these kind of pranks with my friends and family. They're not juvenile enough to try something with the old man.

If I were visiting distant relatives and they found out during a hug or what not I would just ignore their questions until they got the hint. If they persisted in grilling me I would just pull out my CC permit and show it to them.

If they still had a problem I would lock it in my car safe while I was on that visit but it would more than likely be the last time they saw me at thier house family or not.

When questioned about why I'm not visiting anymore I would simply explain that they are welcome to come and visit me at my house but I won't be back because I felt less than welcome the last time I was at thier home.

 

[wvshooter]

Do they require everyone who enters their home to pass through a metal detector? Or is there a possibility they may ask you to remove your clothes while you are in their home? Or is there a possibility they may frisk you while you are there? Are they going to pat you down?

On a more serious note are they the kind of people that would ask you if you are carrying a weapon while you are in their home? If the answer is yes you have no business being there IMO. Your duty to your own safety is way more important than your duty to visit anyone.

How did they find out you carry a gun anyway? The first rule of concealed carry has always been keep it to yourself. That old saying, "Always carry, never tell" really works. I've been in friends homes many times and never had a problem because I never told anybody I carry a loaded gun.

OMG! A loaded gun!!! Run for the hills!

 

[elcaminoariba]

Which brings up the "family" problem.

The rules of hospitality I mentioned apply to family (meaning if they let you in then they declared themselves to have hospitality towards you). Sometimes some family members must be avoided. If they "can't" be avoided but should be avoided, then they are the type of giant pain in the a__ who creates problems, who won't mind their own business, and who are not worth telling if you are carrying. If this type is so hostile that they ASK every time you're in their house, then you answer honestly and they will either back off or do you a favor by asking you to leave.

 

[JoeShmoe]

When a confrontation can be avoided, it is wise to avoid it. If you had a difference of opinion with your family regarding politics, or religion, would you bring it up? You would probably keep your views to yourself, as you should with the fact that you are carrying concealed.

It is not rude to carry concealed, anywhere that you can legally do so, and there is no need to tell anyone about it.

 

[Shadow 7D]

Depends where you live, some places like Alaska, it is mandatory that you expressly obtain permission of an adult resident or owner of the residence before entering failing to do so is weapons misconduct in the 5th...

So it may be mandatory, as for where it's not, really don't see a reason to if it's going to cause a problem, but if you are staying as an invited guest (more than a short in/out) then yes you probably want to let them know that you are LEGALLY armed, and reassure them that it won't cause any problems, so there is no surprises.

 

[Gottahaveone]

I have no choice. SC law expressly requires that I inform the homeowner before entering their house with a concealed weapon. It has severely limited my visitation to the homes of "casual" acquaintances. If it's not someone who is a good enough friend to already know that I am liable to be carrying, I generally don't go see them.

Adds a whole new twist to being invited in by someone new after a particularly good date, too. I tend to handle that by telling them "I'd love to come in, but state law requires that I tell you something first." You can see the wheels turning as they start to think I'm about to blurt out that I'm a registered sex offender or something. When I tell them that I am armed, the relief of it being "only" that generally makes it easy to move past it.

I would REALLY prefer that this decision be left to my judgment as to when to disclose, but unfortunately that's not the case.

 

[230therapy]

Somehow, I have a feeling there is much civil disobedience regarding South Carolina's very stupid law.

 

[FriedRice]

Enderwiggin, I feel ya. I'm new to this, and all enthusiastic, and I told some people that I didn't know were anti-s. It was bad. I'll leave it at that. Then there were some people I HAD to tell because of safety issues I won't go into. It was very hard for them. They were both anti-s. I stopped talking about it with one and once he figured out I hadn't lost my mind and decided to run around capping people for fun, he chilled out. Now he doesn't seem to care much and we don't talk about it.

The other one was harder. I had to try and get her on board because we are BOTH at risk if she didn't know. Her early experiences with guns were awful. She believed in non-violence. She thought guns were bad. And she was a smart person. She just hadn't explored what these stances were about. Many said "give up and shut up about it, just carry," however I kept at it more gently. She's moved from anti- to non and is kicking butt in a Krav Maga class now. She 100% supports my carrying choice and she's got my back with the Krav Maga. She hadn't done the emotional work to overcome being a victim. When people are victimized enough, sometimes they stop fighting back. Now she's fighting back against every person that ever assaulted her, raped her, cheated on her, it's all coming out! And I just sit over here and smile. Some anti-s are that way because of complicated reasons. I don't know what you should do. This is just what I've done.

The friends that couldn't get past it, I don't hang out with anymore. I rarely visit people at their houses. I prefer my own turf. Out in public, it's concealed to everyone. Some of my family know, the gunners. However, all my family is out of state so it's a non-issue.

 

[SharpsDressedMan]

Don't ask, don't tell. I woud limit my friends to those that know I carry and respect my freedom to do so. If I have (soon to be "had") a friend that told me not to come armed into their house, I would honor that request, and leave...for good. My life is too short to go where I am not wanted, and where I no longer have respect for someone else's rules.

 

[SharpsDressedMan]

By having to inform potential love interests early on about being armed (when they are about to "invite you in") must really cut to the chase. On the other hand, it might very quickly eliminate wasted time on a burning anti that is never going to get over it. Setting the ground rules early on is usually NOT a bad idea.

 

[M2 Carbine]

My house, my rules.
If you don't like my rules stay out.


I feel the same when going to someone elses place.


When friends visit me, if they don't have a gun I'll loan them one.

 

[wow6599]

No.......unless they ask me.

 

[JoeSlomo]

Depends where you live, some places like Alaska, it is mandatory that you expressly obtain permission of an adult resident or owner of the residence before entering failing to do so is weapons misconduct in the 5th.

Interesting.

That would make me far less social than I already am.



My approach is to always act in accordance with the law. My state makes no such notification required, hence, I make no such notification upon entering a private residence.