Let me ask it this way: The velocity the bullet leaves the barrel determines the recoil and not the peak pressure.
No. This is not entirely true. Consider a missile which ejects no projectile, only high-velocity gases, yet still accelerates into orbit.
And aren’t the tresses/forces that cause wear in a gun the same forces that cause recoil?
No, "wear" is far too loose a term to use. It's practically meaningless when discussing a machine. Dry-firing wears the firing pin, trigger bearing surfaces, hammer, safety, cylinder pin, and all of the associated parts. Pressure and heat are not in the equation, but wear is taking place. "Stress" is maybe a better word and....
Peak pressures do test the material integrity of the cylinder, assuming it’s a wheelgun, but that’s different from wear?
...peak pressure, wave fronts, heat, corrosion, particle acceleration, gaps, fitment, and hundreds of other end-points for stress in the mechanism respond to high-velocity gases are stress the metal. Stress is not necessarily wear, though. It's difficult to quantify because steels are elastic. What you would need to try and measure is the cumulative breakdown of the elasticity of the metal.
Just trying to get an idea of some of the considerations involved in selecting a powder. And Universal and H110 represent 2 ends of the spectrum, sort of.
The factors to consider are gas volume liberation, heat transfer during deflagration, gas expansion velocity under pressure, burn rate under pressure(which is different from burn rate in open atmosphere), and chemical constituency - among a FEW of the MANY factors to consider.
You REALLY!!! REALLY!!! need to think hard about WHY smokeless powders are predominantly - but not exclusively - nitrocellulose and NOT exclusively nitroglycerin. It's a BIG FRIGGIN' DEAL and until you wrap your head around that one, simple FACT of modern ballistics, you will NEVER understand why some powders are really good for close-range revolver target shooting, others are dangerous but useful in high-velocity applications like hunting, and some powders are no good in a revolver at all but work really well in self-loading pistols.