pro-2a girls dating anti-2a guys???

[esquare]

Okay, so there are a number of threads asking about advice for guys dating girls and how to tell or bring up the subject of guns, etc. But, there are no threads about girls dating guys and bringing up this topic. So, if you are a woman or know a woman that likes guns and has dated guys that are anti or where this subject came up I'd love to hear them. I'm interested in how the responses are different if the girl is the 'pro-2a' instigator and the guy is an anti.

 

[Downr@nge]

My sis in law is Pro 2A and just got her CCW in Philly. She actually stopped dating a guy recently when he revealed he is pro gun control. I gave her a BIG hi five. She said she won't tolerate someone who is closed-minded on the subject. She said she would bring it up and if they have an open mind about it, she would move forward.

 

[Japman]

The irony is that she herself is being close-minded by not being open-minded towards his views on gun control. The hypocrisy is stunning, and it is pretty sad that someone would choose whether to date a person based solely on their stance o gun control.

 

[c919]

The irony is that she herself is being close-minded by not being open-minded towards his views on gun control. The hypocrisy is stunning, and it is pretty sad that someone would choose whether to date a person based solely on their stance o gun control.

Well it says a lot about a person. Perhaps you aren't as dedicated as many of us here, and just don't get it. I could certainly never date someone who insisted on allowing the .gov to throw my passion/SD rights in the trash.

Good thing my wife is my favorite shooting buddy.

 

[FIVETWOSEVEN]

The irony is that she herself is being close-minded by not being open-minded towards his views on gun control. The hypocrisy is stunning, and it is pretty sad that someone would choose whether to date a person based solely on their stance o gun control.

Its not called close-mindedness, Its called common sense. Does gun control work? no. Does private gun ownership work? Yes.

Does gun control get these kind or results? No. http://www.pulpless.com/gunclock/noframedex.html

 

[Japman]

Well it says a lot about a person. Perhaps you aren't as dedicated as many of us here, and just don't get it. I could certainly never date someone who insisted on allowing the .gov to throw my passion/SD rights in the trash.

Its not called close-mindedness, Its called common sense. Does gun control work? no. Does private gun ownership work? Yes.

Does gun control get these kind or results? No. http://www.pulpless.com/gunclock/noframedex.html

(1) Not everyone that favors gun control measures also insists on the government taking away your right to own a gun. Nor would a 2A opponent necessarily make their husband/wife get rid of their guns.

(2) I'm not disputing that, I'm just puzzled by people who choose their mates based solely on their stance on gun control.

 

[Japman]

off-topic pseudo-scientific social commentary

Wow. And then you guys wonder why certain groups of people generalize pro-2a'ers as being close-minded idiots living in the backwoods. With that logic, you minus whale say that a chick that likes guns is a flannel-wearing tom boy that only enjoys the company of women.

 

[esquare]

Uh, wow. First, well, let's just keep the thread on topic. I'm wondering about experiences that people have had, not thoughts on whether guys can be anti-2a and still be straight. FWIW there are lots of men that hunt with shotguns that think no one needs a rifle or a pistol. What's up with that?

Let's keep this thread on topic please.

 

[kayak-man]

I think, and I'm probably stereo typing here, that most guys are not actually anti 2a, but are more in the neutral/tolerant category. I don't think they have the "guns are evil attitude" that I've found among the fairer sex. YMMV

Stereotypically, it's the guy that makes the approach, and an anti 2a guy probably isn't going to ask the girl who wears a winchester hat everyday out for a cup of coffee.

I knew a guy who was neutral/slightly anti 2a. His girlfriend knew I was a gun nut and wanted me to take her shooting. They aren't together anymore due to unrelated problems, but he likes shotguns a lot now, so I'll count that as a win.

Also, if any girls are dating an anti, and want to trade up, shoot me an email

 

[benEzra]

The irony is that she herself is being close-minded by not being open-minded towards his views on gun control. The hypocrisy is stunning, and it is pretty sad that someone would choose whether to date a person based solely on their stance o gun control.

...

(2) I'm not disputing that, I'm just puzzled by people who choose their mates based solely on their stance on gun control.

It is often an indicator of their broader views on individual civil liberties, self-sufficiency, and the role of active defense in personal security, all potential sources of conflict down the road. If a date isn't into guns, that's one thing, but if they are actively against gun ownership, self defense, etc. by those they deem "civilians", that's another thing entirely.

My sister's ex had a rather misogynistic view that women were inherently less competent with guns than men and shouldn't carry them, which didn't sit well with her (she's an engineer and I dare say can outshoot most LEO's). That issue wasn't what split them up, but his views on that issue were certainly representative of his broader views on gender roles.

IMO, if two people go out on a date and a significant incompatibility shows up, it is not out of line to decide to keep looking. For example, if you're physically active and like to be outdoors more than anything (running, bike riding, kayaking, the beach, whatever), you will probably be happier if you find someone who shares those interests rather than someone whose idea of a good time is to sit on the couch and watch reruns and wouldn't be caught dead breaking a sweat---at least if shared experiences are important to you.

(1) Not everyone that favors gun control measures also insists on the government taking away your right to own a gun. Nor would a 2A opponent necessarily make their husband/wife get rid of their guns.

They might not be happy with their partner/spouse/significant other CCW'ing or buying an AK/AR, though, or keeping a firearm loaded for defensive purposes, or teaching the kids to shoot, or whatever.

As to the sentiment upthread re: gender roles, guns are not a "macho thing" and dislike of guns is not a "feminine thing". The fact that U.S. society went through a stage in the 20th century in which gun competence was linked to stereotyped gender roles (a stage we're still coming out of) does NOT mean that such stereotyping is correct or universal. Women CCW'ing and shooting was much more common in the early 1900's than in the 1950's through the 1970's, so don't take that period as representative. Also, plenty of GLBT's like to shoot (and shoot well), and plenty of straight people don't; pacifism is not a GLBT trait any more than arrogance is a straight trait.

 

[FIVETWOSEVEN]

(1) Not everyone that favors gun control measures also insists on the government taking away your right to own a gun. Nor would a 2A opponent necessarily make their husband/wife get rid of their guns.

Gun Control doesn't work, any better way I can say that?

With me, guns are my lifestyle, not just a hobby, a mate for me would either have to like guns or be tolerant of them. Luckily I've found the one that is tolerant so I'm happy.

 

[kayak-man]

My sister's ex had a rather misogynistic view that women were inherently less competent with guns than men

Its been my experience that the opposite is true.

 

[bigalexe]

The irony is that she herself is being close-minded by not being open-minded towards his views on gun control. The hypocrisy is stunning, and it is pretty sad that someone would choose whether to date a person based solely on their stance o gun control.

You are new here so I am cutting you about 1 inch of slack.

Gun Control has been proven to not work. The debate has been had many times over. Also you are assuming the conversation went something like this:

Guy: Guns are bad
... Door Slam!

When in fact it was probably much longer and more drawn out then that. Usually people who walk away from each other on a single issue do not do so lightly as you seem to think. Also you seem to fail to understand the depth of the gun control debate, and to summarize it I will just say it has very much to do with control and little to do with guns. I completely understand how a man or woman can choose not to stand with someone who decides they want to be a subject and not a citizen.

 

[Corporal K]

(2) I'm not disputing that, I'm just puzzled by people who choose their mates based solely on their stance on gun control.

Like most relationship disputes, it's rarely that simple, but if a person can be anti-2A, then what else can he be against?

Also, there's something pretty candy-arse about a man who is pro gun-control. A pro gun gal may be concerned about his ability to protect, provide, etc.

 

[Vyacheslav]

I'm just puzzled by people who choose their mates based solely on their stance on gun control.

who are you to tell anyone else what they should look for in a partner?

 

[Old krow]

I think, and I'm probably stereo typing here, that most guys are not actually anti 2a, but are more in the neutral/tolerant category. I don't think they have the "guns are evil attitude" that I've found among the fairer sex. YMMV

It's probably completely based on geography, but in general I think that people are more apathetic as opposed to anti. In my area the pros vastly out number the antis and the neutrals, though we do have antis, we call ours them tourists. The chances of finding the OPs scenario here are extremely low. What I see the most of is one is pro and the other is apathetic towards it (or the other way around) and occasionally the anti relative. I'm sure geographic locale has a lot to do with it.

My mom is one of the only "neutrals" that I really know. She isn't anti, she doesn't want gun controls, she just doesn't really want one. On the other hand, I've never known her to marry (my dad) or date anyone that didn't CC. I think that she's more "it's your right to bear arms, now go get your gun so I don't have to." I do not know if she would end a relationship (or refuse to start) over it, but, I have seen her invite anti relatives to leave if they refused cease and desist the rhetoric.

My sister would just end it if he was that adamant about it. She's not horribly pro RKBA, but she'd be quick to tell him that she's not willing to give up one (or any) of her rights because he chooses not to exercise his.

(1) Not everyone that favors gun control measures also insists on the government taking away your right to own a gun.

That is a possibility, but, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. There's a process to use in order to change the Bill of Rights that involves a very democratic process. It isn't "hey, let's make a new bill" or "hey, let's support these candidates." The only people that have the right to take away those rights are "the people" and it takes 75%, not a ban.

(2) I'm not disputing that, I'm just puzzled by people who choose their mates based solely on their stance on gun control.

I'm sure looks has something to do with it The RKBA is a very polarizing subject. They're a barometer for independence and free-spiritedness and some people are far more idealistic than others. If you look at the others side of the argument, I can't believe that someone won't date someone that does exercise that right. There's certainly no shortage of hypocrisy.

theres alot of effeminate males in California, Massachusetts, New York and New Jersey that date Southern and Midwest gun owning women

No, they're helping decorate bathrooms

 

[Zoogster]

Japman said : "you minus whale say"

What an ironic typo, significantly different than the intended words.

I know Japan is one of the few nations that still heavily participates in whaling, but I think you meant "might as well" not "minus whale".
Leave the whales alone!







On the OP's topic, many people date those with opposite views on a wide variety of subjects.
Age also likely plays a big role in how important the views of the other person are.
Younger individuals are also picking their mate more on hormonal attraction and less inclined to be as critical of individual issues than people picking their mate based on who they are as a person.
I think many may end up together who don't see eye to eye on a wide range of issues, but of course are more likely to break up in the future as a result. Potentially after already having children, or shared finances. Leading to a reduced quality of life for them in the future.


Many people are brainwashed on gun issues, but once someone truly is educated on the topic and how it relates to our nation, freedom, and individual liberties, it says a great deal about someone if they are still heavily in favor of gun control. Much more so than many other issues. Because gun freedoms tie into a lot of other freedoms and viewpoints. Even if you could agree to disagree on that specific issue it is interconnected with so many other viewpoints and issues historically and philosophically that it would still mean there was significant likeliness of conflict.
Unless of course the pro gun belief is not that deeply or philosophically rooted.
There is certainly a shallow segment of the population.

 

[vikinggirl]

Going back to the OP's original question - how does a woman bring up the topic to a potential dating partner? I must admit for me it often does not come up on a first date... there is too much 'so what do you do? and where did you grow up?' to get beyond anything very general. However, personally if a guy makes it to a second date, I will be sure to mention something. Why? I find that sometimes if you leave it for later, and then suddenly you find out they are rabid anti-gun, when they start running it makes it more painful if you are already fond of someone! That doesn't mean I get into anyone's face, but it may be a casual comment such as "how was your week? - Went to the range on thursday and warmed up my mini-14 a bit". Some guys have no idea what that is - I actually had one guy ask a clarifying question - when I said range he thought I meant a 'cooking range' and totally didn't understand my comment. Since firearms are important to me, I want any potential boyfriend/mate to at least be comfortable with ME having guns. But I admit I've scared away my fair share of liberal new york men who don't think women should have anything more dangerous than a knitting needle. For this displaced Texan, that is unacceptable.

Sometimes if the gun comment doesn't start them running, the "oh, you've done martial arts TOO?" will do the trick!

Esquare - so to answer your question - there is rarely a confrontation, but generally I just won't hear from an 'anti' again, they just don't bother calling.

 

[leadcounsel]

Peoples views on guns is a key insight into a persons' core and a barometer for who a person REALLY is in my opinion. They fall into a few top categories.

- Die hard anti-gun. A completely irrational viewpoint on guns, which is an indicator on common sense, life experience, inability to learn from failure, and inability to compromise, and a failure to believe or understand in the Constitution, Rights, and fundamental values. Also a hypocrite because many of these folks have or support armed guards, police, etc. yet don't trust in the government, which is another anomoly. This person is just whacked in the head. They don't believe in, understand or support fundamental things like self defense, hunting, military sacrifices to defend the Constitution and American way of life, history, etc.
- "Common" sense anti-gun. This is a slippery slope to total gun control as we've seen throughout history. Shows some reason, but still a dangerous position to be in. They generally support "their" right to the 2A for "certain" guns, but not those scary X guns because "why do you need a gun that does X?"
- Varying degrees of pro gun. Shows an understanding or appreciation of one or all of the following: Constitution, history, sacrifices of military to defend the Constitution, the value of guns, hunting, core principle of self defense, etc.

Now there are definately some of those 'oblivions' who have never really considered the issue. And I've dated many women that never shot a gun. It's fun to teach them and I've converted many gun neutral women to pro gun. Many bought a gun after I taught them and two even took their concealed carry classes.

The irony is that she herself is being close-minded by not being open-minded towards his views on gun control. The hypocrisy is stunning, and it is pretty sad that someone would choose whether to date a person based solely on their stance o gun control.

I disagree with this quote. It's not close minded, it's calculated decision making. Why would you want to date someone that doesn't share fundamental principles?

So, whether you're a man or a woman, my advice is don't procreate or get married to someone that doesn't share your views on religion, politics or guns because these are just deep important issues that won't change over time.

 

[Zombie_Flesh]

Whole Story

I realize I am feeding the Troll here...

I am sure there is more to the story here - If he were perfect in every other way then she may be able to overlook his belief on guns, I believe this was a factor in a larger decision, that we don't really need to know.

If he were perfect in every other way that would mean he is a clear thinking individual who cared for her beliefs- then using facts instead of emotion she could have fixed his incorrect way of thinking.

 

[leadcounsel]

I'll also toss my hat in the ring!

While I know this isn't a dating website, if there is an attractive, successful, athletic pro-gun woman out there, she need look no further than leadcounsel!

Another point I'll add is that if you date/marry/procreate with someone that is anti-gun, you'll deal with a lifetime of arguing over guns in the home around children, loaded guns, ccw, rolling of eyes if you want to take a gun on vacation, etc. I view NOT having a gun to protect your family to be unforgivably irresponsible and borderline criminal negligence.

No thanks.

I have friends whose wives, for instance, won't allow them to OWN a gun because they have an infant in the home. That is an irresponsbily, illogical, and completely stupid stance, but to keep the wives happy they tuck their tails between their legs and comply.

No thanks.

 

[mcdonl]

If Pro-2a were replaced with the word abortion I bet the arguments of japman would be significantly different.

Many things, much smaller in importance than individual freedoms have been deal breakers in relationships. I think a pro or anti (Anything) can get along and thrive with a neutral party but not the polar opposite. Especially something as passionate as this topic.

But, I have been married for almost 20 years so YMMV

 

[skwab]

To OP - one of my good friends is not anti, but he has never been comfortable around guns even though I tried - it's not his thing and that's fine - his wife, however, is very pro, and she's the one who went out and bought a handgun for personal protection and all that - so they have an understanding - if the SHTF, my friend will be locked in the bedroom while his wife clears the house.

To Japman - I've heard the anti-2A's arguments time and time again. It's not that I'm not open minded to them, I listen to what they have to say all the time, it's just they have yet to put forth a credible, factual argument concerning the benefits of gun control. And to those who have spent decades listening to those arguments, and witnessing "law makers" try to pass legislation to outlaw the guns I possess, and when that doesn't work they try to pass meaningless laws like the assault weapon ban, lead ammo ban etc - when what you believe is a right the insures the other freedoms we have, you want your partner to feel the same - that doesn't seem unreasonable. If you were Jewish, would you date an anti-semitic? Probably not. I wouldn't label that as being close minded.

 

[EddieNFL]

theres alot of effeminate males in California, Massachusetts, New York and New Jersey that date Southern and Midwest gun owning women

Yeah, but they're just looking for protection.

 

[Downr@nge]

My sis wasn't being a hypocrite. There were other factors that preceded the gun subject. Its that when the gun subject came up and he revealed his stance on the subject, she then decided she wouldn't take it any further. Her reasoning was, like most have already said, being pro gun or anti gun can say a lot about a person's personality.

When we talked about it she said, why be with someone who doesn't share your belief in exercising your constitutional right to self defense, or better yet, a person who believes in unreasonably limiting the means in which one can defend themself? She said, among other things, that was a clear indication of his thought process which was clearly incompatible with hers.