A personal question. Have you ever in your adult life had a disagreement, a loud shouting match, or been struck by a romantic or live-in partner? Have you ever cheated on or caught a romantic or live-in partner? Have you ever scorned a romantic parnter? Have you ever said something threatening in person, over the phone, or email/text to a romantic partner? A property disagreement? A bad breakup? Angry spouse during divorce proceedings?
That's a long question, and one to which I can safely answer "no" - not once in my adult life have I ever been violent with a partner. I have certainly never threatened or raised a hand in anger to one. The dissolutions of my engagements have been peaceful. And maybe that's just a result of my trying to treat others as I would prefer to be treated myself.
I have, on the other hand, had to help the spouses of abusive partners and have seen at close hand the damage and terror a violent spouse or partner can inflict on another. And the courts have had to address this. It's a problematic calculus: lower the bar too low, a casual allegation of harm can bring an arrest on a partner. Raise it too high, a woman in danger must deal with a heavily armed, vindictive ex-lover with a massive grudge. One he nurses with whiskey and anger.
The results are found in morgues across the country. I linked to a single classic example above.
So we're looking to strike a balance that causes the least harm.
Now, to make some use of my minor in psychology, I suspect that the real problem here isn't the law at all. I think a big part of what's being discussed here is the perception of an imbalance in power. The man can buy all manner of firearms and ammo, train with them and arm up bigtime. Then, the little lady need only pick up a phone, call the police and say, "Yo - I got a 'domestic' going on here. Arrest this clown pronto."
And there's nothing you can do about it. So it's like the female has been greatly empowered at the expense of Mighty Hunter.
Guys, read this remark to the wife and see what she says. I'll bet most are just fine with it.
Anyway, I've gotten through many years of my life without being arrested, without having domestic violence charges or restraining orders filed on me, and I'm sure you can avoid those things, too. Just takes about as much thought and care as you put into loading and handling your weapons. Don't be stupid and you won't have trouble.
In my experience, women tolerate much (more than we do) and forgive readily. It takes a sustained and committed effort at being a first-class bastard to get a woman to call the police on you. Chances are, if it happens, you will have had something to do with it.
