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20. Congressional page turnout unexpectedly high.
19. Underestimated the sex appeal of Nancy Pelosi.
18. Tried to channel the spirit of Ronald Reagan; ended up getting George McGovern's cell phone.
17. Republican base figured out "compassionate conservative" is a euphamism for "free spending liberal bastard".
16. RNC went broke paying Mark Foley's AstroGlide bills.
15. Three words: Robert Byrd's coattails (or should that be sheettails?).
14. Iraq-Grenada comparison didn't resonate with enough voters.
13. Party had no answer for that Kerry charisma.
12. Forgot whether they were supposed to be red or blue.
11. In retrospect, those attractively-priced voting machines from Soros Worldwide Inc. might not have been such a great bargain after all.
10. Telemundo ads featuring Dennis Hastert as the Frito Bandito failed to win enough Hispanic votes.
9. Candidates spent far too much time trying to turn Barak Obama in to the U.S. military for $25,000,000 reward.
8. George Allen's mother failed to get out the Jewish vote.
7. Not enough campaign ads on shortwave radio.
6. Changing party mascot from elephant to rhino backfired.
5. Strategy of winning black vote by handing out free samples of Afro Sheen failed miserably.
4. Deposited badly needed campaign funds into Duke Cunningham's prison snack food account.
3. President unable to get his first name changed to "Reggie" in time to do any good.
2. Overestimated appeal of "Vote for us, G*****n You!" campaign slogan.
1. Lee Atwater is still dead.
Yeah, I just made 'em up, and they sorta suck, but whatta ya gonna do. If you laughed, send me twenty dollars. If you didn't, send me fifty, so I won't do it any more.
19. Underestimated the sex appeal of Nancy Pelosi.
18. Tried to channel the spirit of Ronald Reagan; ended up getting George McGovern's cell phone.
17. Republican base figured out "compassionate conservative" is a euphamism for "free spending liberal bastard".
16. RNC went broke paying Mark Foley's AstroGlide bills.
15. Three words: Robert Byrd's coattails (or should that be sheettails?).
14. Iraq-Grenada comparison didn't resonate with enough voters.
13. Party had no answer for that Kerry charisma.
12. Forgot whether they were supposed to be red or blue.
11. In retrospect, those attractively-priced voting machines from Soros Worldwide Inc. might not have been such a great bargain after all.
10. Telemundo ads featuring Dennis Hastert as the Frito Bandito failed to win enough Hispanic votes.
9. Candidates spent far too much time trying to turn Barak Obama in to the U.S. military for $25,000,000 reward.
8. George Allen's mother failed to get out the Jewish vote.
7. Not enough campaign ads on shortwave radio.
6. Changing party mascot from elephant to rhino backfired.
5. Strategy of winning black vote by handing out free samples of Afro Sheen failed miserably.
4. Deposited badly needed campaign funds into Duke Cunningham's prison snack food account.
3. President unable to get his first name changed to "Reggie" in time to do any good.
2. Overestimated appeal of "Vote for us, G*****n You!" campaign slogan.
1. Lee Atwater is still dead.
Yeah, I just made 'em up, and they sorta suck, but whatta ya gonna do. If you laughed, send me twenty dollars. If you didn't, send me fifty, so I won't do it any more.