I was gonna type I use the "rhythm method" - being as this is a tough crowd and all...
I go with the flow - I roll with it. Meaning each gun has a personality as far a recoil is concerned - I use that to MY advantage. I have a reason I choose why I prefer to shoot what I do for CCW, GUN FIT is just one factor, the platform, and caliber for instance are others.
Think of recoil as being your steering wheel. One sometimes drives for leisure, sometimes one has to drive assertive. One should NEVER
Fight the steering wheel, just use the nuances of the different aspects of the steering wheel for intended tasks.
Practice allows one to use the recoil to their advantage, instead of getting tired muscles , which leads to fatigue, which leads to flinching...
Learn the feel and let the gun be tamed by you...you don't have to tell the gun what you are doing tho...
For instance for ME. 1911 style fits, Single action trigger, a "push" . BHP - same deal the gun fit , single action , and to me still a push... K frames, fit, DA trigger is smooth and consistent, the "push".
I never have warmed up to the .40 cal. TO me the only gun that fits me is a BHP and to me that caliber is just "wrong" in BHP. .40 has a much sharper recoil - and I have tried different guns that shoot the .40.