When meeting new girls...

[22-rimfire]

Good advice about the sig line.

She may be a beamer girl? My wife hates guns. Do you think it makes any difference as to what I do? It does sort of; I just don't "rub her face" in it.

 

[M-Cameron]

its simple......just try to pick up women at the range.......if you can find any

common interests...set, future dates...set, and she wont think your creepy for owning a closet full of firearms

 

[Sock Puppet]

And don't "write her off" if she isn't a gun nut. My wife and I were married 11 years ago when she was in her final year of college. At the time she had somewhat typical views for a college student, which is to say quite a bit left of center. Needless to say, we didn't agree on everything, but there was not question whether or not she was "the one."

On a side note, she now shares my political views and has a CCW.

 

[AirForceShooter]

Meet girls at the range.

AFS

 

[griff383]

I got lucky and found a woman who grew up in the sticks where hunting and guns were common. But before I knew that, I didnt worry about what her thoughts were on them. When she would come over I would make sure that my pistol (XD .40 btw) was secure and not in my night stand where it usually stayed. As our relationship developed I found out her stance on the subject and never really had to have the "I own a gun" conversation.

Point being, if there is really a connection things will work out whether she is pro or anti gun. The only thing you should worry about right now is which outfit to wear

 

[RimfireChris]

I'm with the majority, don't even let it trouble you for a bit, give it a few weeks and see if it's going anywhere first.

 

[mstrat]

A few people are saying there's no need to mention it, that it's not a big deal, etc.

But I think a lot of that depends on where you live. Around here (Chicagoland) people have been brainwashed into thinking Guns Are Evil! and are the root of all our problems.
This message has been fed down our throats for 30+ years by the mayor, aldermen, advocacy groups, and media.

As such, you find some EXTREMELY anti-gun people who think anyone who owns a firearm is either a gangbanger or a member of an anti-government rightwing militia who's one step away from bombing a courthouse.

If your significant other has bought into such nonsense, as many have, it WILL cause unsolvable problems for a relationship.

So I believe it's very important to find an opportunity to determine his/her viewpoint to see if they will be accepting.

 

[Average Joe]

Don't ask, Don't tell....

 

[Old krow]

I'm with the majority, don't even let it trouble you for a bit, give it a few weeks and see if it's going anywhere first.

It could all be a mute point anyway. Given the percentages of people that are truly "anti-gun" vs the odds of you finding someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, I say don't mention the gun for a while. There are likely to be many "disqualifiers" out there.

I think that religion in general, and especially for the religious, carries a little more weight. I have seen people change their stance on guns before, I have seen people's political views change, even if only slightly, but religion can be a difficult hurdle.

The only thing you should worry about right now is which outfit to wear

^^^^^

If it needs to be brought up later on, I'm fairly sure that it will find it's way into a conversation.

 

[KarenTOC]

Advice from an old lady:

• relax. Lose the idea that the date is earth-shatteringly important. It's just a night out with someone you might like.
• be polite, on time, and don't push.
• don't try to impress.
• be your normal self (if she doesn't like your normal self, better to find out now before you're stuck with her the rest of your life. No bad can come from being yourself).
• she may be evaluating you all night as a prospective mate. Just remember: you're also evaluating her! She has as much to gain or lose as you do. Women are just better at making the guy feel that only he is on trial
• The first date is not the gut-spilling date. On any subject. It's the first of many get-to-know-you-and-see-if-i-like-you dates. Gut spilling comes later. Much later.
• An anti who thinks that all gun owners are mentally imblanced weirdos just might be surprised when she eventually discovers that the nice, normal guy she's been dating likes guns; maybe they all aren't whack jobs after all...

I've had a similar problem but from the opposite age and gender. When do I let an olde phartte know that I like guns? I have a friend who mentioned his 25 caliber gun before we started actually seeing each other. I did an internal woohoo and then asked him what kind of gun it was. He said... um... I dunno, just a regular 25 I guess. Oh well. By then I was already outed as someone interested in guns. Now he "teases" me with lines like "Guess I better not be late picking you up - I'd hate to get shot!" That was funny... once.

 

[TexasGunbie]

Be natural in your relationship. So even gun ownership is a natural subject.

You don't have to say "hey baby, we gotta talk. I have something I must tell you, let's set aside some serious time for this".

If you feel like you must let her know you own a gun, just say, "I am not free this Saturday, I am meeting my friends at the gun range." Then naturally she will ask about guns and you can tell her that you own a gun for a long time already. Make it into a "no big deal" conversation.

This is America, a lot of people own guns. A lot of us know people that own a 22lr rifle or home defense shotgun. Don't think she will think weird of you or you are hiding something. If you think that, you might really sound like you are hiding something.

 

[Onward Allusion]

Just be honest

Don't try to hide the fact that you shoot or own firearms but don't flaunt it either or throw it in her face either. If it comes up in conversation, fine. I'm sure it'll come up in the first couple/few of dates anyway (eg. "what do you like to do when you aren't working...?").

 

[Blackbeard]

Same time you tell her you have a potato peeler -- when the subject comes up.

 

[cambeul41]

Same time you tell her you have a potato peeler -- when the subject comes up.

I like it!

 

[oldfool]

ask what her "sign" is

if she says "aquarius" you might be in trouble
if she says,"virgo", don't plan on 'getting lucky' short term (but you might get extra lucky long term)

if she says "Browning logo" or "S&W logo"... propose on the spot

PS
when I asked mine, she said "leo" (mind your manners)
when she asked me, me being a 'virgo' (honest), I said
"I ain't easy, but I can be had"
37 years, four great-grandchildren, and counting

best advice of all, listen to the ladies who advise, and be yourself, for better or worse, because if you 'pretend', there is no way out but worse
winning 'points' only counts in video games, not life
you might have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a princess (or prince, for you ladies), but don't be a toad about it
(some girls don't like boys like me, some girls don't like boys like you.... ahhh... but some girls do !)

 

[kayak-man]

It depends on the girl, IMHO. It also depends on what the gun is for: hunting, plinking, SD, HD, she may not mind guns, but have very strong feelings about the relationship between Bambi and your '06.
Theres a lot of threads on this topic, and I'm thinking we should have a sticky on how to deal with being a gun owner in your relationships with parents, siblings, friends, and romantic interests.

Also, it might help, if she is tolerant but kind of uncomfortable about you owning a gun, to give a quick, but HONEST reason for the gun. I've known a few people that thought the first aid kit for my car was a bit excessive, but didn't mind when they found out I'm an EMT. If you can, you could always tell her that you like it because it belonged to your dad/grandpa, its for your job, you grew up hunting, just something to make you apear more like a normal person who happens to have a gun and less like, well, me.

On a less serious note:
I'm thinking of just distributing copies of MHI to all the girls on campus as a sort of screening process.

 

[leadcounsel]

I also have a few non-negotiables. Guns are one of them. They are in my DNA and I'm a package deal. I absolutely will not get involved with a woman that is decisively anti-gun or closed minded to guns. From the start she's either gotta be pro-gun or inexperienced/neutral and willing to learn. Otherwise, I don't want to mix DNA with her for life... I've seen A LOT of men get involved, permenently, with ignorant, liberal, closed minded, thick headed women and they regret it for decades.

There is NO reason not to find out on the first date. None. If she is anti-gun, move on. If she's not, it's outta the way. By not asking, you could end up getting involved with her and then being miserable when you learn she volunteers for the Brady bunch!

Trust me, I've dated a few leftist liberal anti-gun women and it can get very heated. Why bother? There are soooo many great PRO GUN women out there MY problem is just picking ONE!

i just lay down the line, either you like guns or get outta here! thats what i say! if she leaves go get another within half an hour! shes gabage!

Yep, at this point in my life my time is too precious. Frankly there are more quality women out there than I have time for. So I don't waste ANY time on the gun issue. Within a short time I know her stance.

You can get there any number of ways. Here are some suggestions:
- ask how she feels about gun control or the 2nd Amendment
- see if she'd like to go to the range or mention that you went to the range last week, etc.
- ask where she grew up. odds are that if it was in a big city she may lean anti-gun, etc.
- ask if she has ever been hunting and if so what was the experience
- discuss self defense and similar issues
- if you can get any insight as to her political leanings, that will be a good indicator (although not perfect) on the gun issue

If she's gun neutal, offer to teach her how to shoot. That normally converts folks.

If she's anti-gun, don't waste any more time with her. God help you if you get locked in with her because there are plenty of men that I've met that had kids with/married the wrong woman. MOVE ON if she's anti-gun. It's a sign of a closed minded helpless person mentality.

If she's capable of independent rational thought, she won't have a problem with guns. If she's anti-gun, then frankly, that's a sign of deeper deficiencies in logic and reasoning that will cause even bigger problems later in the relationship.

+1

If you search on this topic, there are dozens of threads on this and most of the advice is really good.

 

[SharpsDressedMan]

My wife gets mad when I pick up girls at the shooting range.........

 

[wojownik]

The first priority should be to get to know each other. If you two hit it off, then it's more than likely she'll accept/tolerate your idiosyncracies later on. If it turns out to be a fling for a few dates, then no point in bringing it up anyway. If you advertise potential "red flag" areas up front, you might not get the chance to really get to know eachother.

I guess I've become a bit cynical. Dating is like marketing. Each one of you want to promote the best of your "product" to get the other to buy. Trust me, in most cases, she'll already be on the lookout for potential product defects... No use helping her along...

 

[IlikeSA]

I would just talk about hobbies. Ask her what she enjoys doing for fun. Then talk about yourself. Something like "I enjoy football, shooting, and fishing." Put it in the middle of your list. If she's really keen on it one way or another, she'll pick up on it. If you don't make a big deal out of it, odds are she won't either. As you get to know her better, ask her if she wants to come fishing/hunting/hiking with you. Open carry (if you can) for snakes (your explanation) and two legged critters (the truth). It'll work or it won't. Enjoy your time.

 

[wojownik]

I like what IlikeSA just said. One of the key points here is to LISTEN to what she says about herself, her hobbies, her interests. She'll probably offer up indicators of her likes and dislikes. Stuff like guns, politics, religion, etc.. make for dangerously poor early dating conversation material.

Point being, focus on the 99% of other stuff to talk about during your dates. There's probably a whole bunch of stuff that she doesn't need to know about you up front. And, there is gonna be a while bunch of stuff about her that you might never know about

 

[Arkansas Paul]

I got lucky and found a woman who grew up in the sticks where hunting and guns were common.

Me too brother!
Mine would have been more weirded out if I had not been a gun owner.
If I were single and on a first date, it would come up pretty quick though. As soon as she asked, "So, what do you like to do?" My main hobby is deer hunting, shooting, and handloading, so I would be honest. Then I'd invite her to go shooting. It may not be your main hobby though, so it may not work that way for you.
Wait for the right time though. Use your head and you'll know when it is.

 

[Deltaboy1984]

Listen and take your time.

 

[Packman]

Alright Skribs, here's the deal:

You're pretty obviously a young guy. I'm guessing you're somewhere around my age, about 21? Quit listening to the old guys, they're low-tech.

Put some pictures of range time up on your facebook. If you don't have a facebook, get one. In today's younger generation, Facebook stalking is an integral part of the early dating sequence. If you just post some pictures, you don't have to worry about bringing it up. She will stalk you, and she will do it pretty early on. Let her find the pictures, and draw her own conclusions.

It works the other way around, too. I was chasing this delightfully charming and HIGHLY attractive girl for quite a while recently. I never thought I had a chance, but I figured I'd make a fool of myself and ask her to dance. I said thanks afterward, and we separated. She followed me over, and we small talked a bit. Then I left the Country bar.

She managed to track me down on Facebook knowing nothing but my first name and what city I went to college in, by looking at the profile pictures. After we were "facebook friends" and we started talking online a whole lot, we went through each other's photo albums. One of her profile pics was of her holding up a Ruger with the caption "BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVERRRR!!!""

You'd best believe it made my day. That pic opened the door for lots of fun gun conversations, and neither person had to make it awkward for the other.

In the end, we didn't end up working out, but that was over irreconcilable religious differences. I'm an atheist, she's a staunch Baptist and couldn't work around it. I didn't much care about the difference, because her beliefs are her business, and that's ok. Sure did suck for that one to fall though, though...

I'm telling you, dude. Take it from someone who HASN'T been married for 37 years. Just post up on facebook, and let the 'net do the hard part for you.

 

[xcgates]

Let it come out naturally. Eventually you will encounter all sorts of topics, such as religion (Hey, what are you doing Sunday?) or politics (Wow, you believe what politician X did?).

For me, two of my big things are motorcycles and guns. Motorcycles are pretty easy to get a handle on, because I ride everywhere, and am usually looking for a good place to stash my helmet. (don't remember when I last filled my car's tank), the guns, will come up because I'll mention I was at/am going to the range. These things will come up over time, as is a very normal part of getting to know someone else.

Of course the bike thing does have its advantages, as it is a very red Ducati, very good at attracting attention. I find it hilarious when people ask if I'm the one on the bike, and there is only one bike in the parking lot, and I'm carrying a helmet. Opens up all sorts of funny responses that can start conversation.