sm
member
I am not getting old; instead the world has gone nuts. *smile*
Preface: I personally do not own a TV, and when I did, it was used for old movies, educational tapes and the like.
When I was coming up, we learned woodscraft skills, how to shoot, and wore natural , neutral colors to hunt in.
Sporting Goods Store:
Now when I was coming up, these stores had fishing, hunting, and archery sections.
Life was simple, even a kid knew Ben Pearson was the archery stuff, Abu-Garcia was fishing, and Winchester was hunting.
Today...
Okay, the sign says "Sporting Goods Store".
How come we got folks wearing elastic "clothes" that is so tight it looks like it hurts in the parking lot?
Especially on one, it looks like two pigs are trying to fight under that tight material...
with a machine that looks like a engine puller, except chrome with black padding?
I check the sign, it says "Sporting Goods Store", still...oh well...I head on in.
First thing I see is furniture.
Second thing I see on the table is a flyer on how I can get my breasts enlarged.
I just know Rod Serling is going to appear at any moment.
"Welcome to Sporting Goods Store sir, how may I assist?" - nice young lady asks.
"Ma'am, where are your 28 ga shotgun shells?"
*crickets*
Yes, that was me sharing with two gals, sitting on the table with a breast enlargement brochure in hand , there is such a thing as 28 gauge shotguns, they make 28 gauge shells, and not only is this gauge used for skeet, it is used for doves, quail, ...
"Shotgun shells are back there sir" they inform me.
Nice ladies, and appreciated the shotgun talk from me.
I just figured out why the 4 wheelers are next to this furniture.
It is so far back "there" , it might be faster to buy this 4 wheeler to ride all the way back there to where shotgun shells are.
<checks price tag on 4 wheeler>
*Yikes!*
I did not pay that much for my first car!
So as I trek back, I turn around every so often to see where I have been.
I would have snagged a compass off a rack to get my bearings, but I was afraid of getting lost, looking for a compass.
I do have a pen, and now I wonder whether I should make notes on how many steps I take in directions , on the brochure for breast enlargement, or the one I snagged off the Energy drink display for some pills that would allow me to drive like Jackie Stewart, shoot like John Wayne and throw a football like Johnnie Unitas.
Heck, in the old days, we would stop at a filling station, and could run inside, get a box of 28 ga shells, some Cokes, Peanuts, Candy Bars and be back out before the gas jockey got the vehicle gassed up, checked air in tires , cleaned the windshield, and checked under the hood - and he/she was fast!
I also don't think we walked as far to where we were going to hunt once we parked the truck, as I was having to walk to get "way back there" to get the darn 28 ga shells.
I see all sorts of stuff in the hunting department, once I arrived, that ...well...*snort*...you have to be kidding me!
Phyllis Diller would not be caught dead wearing some of this stuff.
You can forget Uncle Miltie wearing any of it for his old routines too.
Either someone in Marketing County has never been hunting , or they have some purple and pink vegetation and this camo is suggested to be worn out hunting in Marketing County *snort-snicker*
In the old days one could smoke in a store.
Boy how I miss them days!
By the time I trekked back there, I needed a smoke to get my wind back...
"Pops, how can we help you today?"
"Pops?" I am 53 years old, have all my hair, in need of a haircut, and the only gray I have is in my mustache.
Now if I can only find the voice...<looks around>
When did they come up with Military Britches that blends in with red and blue ice chests?
That shirt...I ain't ...words don't describe. No wonder employees wear them vests, it is to hid awful tastes in T shirts.
"Yes , I am looking for 28 ga shotgun shells".
*crickets*
"Hunting need these shells" he sez.
When did they come out with shells longer than the Roman Candles I had as a kid?
Well I am not going to get to smoke, and I for sure am not going to hike back out to do so, and hike back in...
I follow ice chest camo britches to see what gun shoots these shells.
You have to be kidding me!
That thing is bigger and weighs more than many grandmas I know, or have known.
Lady Luck showed...
"That is nice, still I am just needing some 28 ga shells, target loads, #8 shot like used for skeet" - I said.
"Skeet? What is that?" - he asked.
Like I said, Lady Luck showed. If she is going to give me a set up line, then by golly I am going to run with it.
"Critter, about so tall <hands up from floor to my waist>, that can fly 115.7 mph, and do ninja back flips and change directions ". - I said with a dead pan face.
LawDog would have been sooo proud of me! *grin*
I was sorta "pointed" to where the shells were , snagged what I came in for, and hiked on back up front.
No wonder they sell running shoes on end aisles , folks wear out shoes just hiking all over the darn place.
I see all sorts of stuff in the hunting department, and the only thing this stuff is good for, is hunting a wallet of a shopper and making it thin.
It sure ain't for getting game, nope, nada, no way.
.
Preface: I personally do not own a TV, and when I did, it was used for old movies, educational tapes and the like.
When I was coming up, we learned woodscraft skills, how to shoot, and wore natural , neutral colors to hunt in.
Sporting Goods Store:
Now when I was coming up, these stores had fishing, hunting, and archery sections.
Life was simple, even a kid knew Ben Pearson was the archery stuff, Abu-Garcia was fishing, and Winchester was hunting.
Today...
Okay, the sign says "Sporting Goods Store".
How come we got folks wearing elastic "clothes" that is so tight it looks like it hurts in the parking lot?
Especially on one, it looks like two pigs are trying to fight under that tight material...
with a machine that looks like a engine puller, except chrome with black padding?
I check the sign, it says "Sporting Goods Store", still...oh well...I head on in.
First thing I see is furniture.
Second thing I see on the table is a flyer on how I can get my breasts enlarged.
I just know Rod Serling is going to appear at any moment.
"Welcome to Sporting Goods Store sir, how may I assist?" - nice young lady asks.
"Ma'am, where are your 28 ga shotgun shells?"
*crickets*
Yes, that was me sharing with two gals, sitting on the table with a breast enlargement brochure in hand , there is such a thing as 28 gauge shotguns, they make 28 gauge shells, and not only is this gauge used for skeet, it is used for doves, quail, ...
"Shotgun shells are back there sir" they inform me.
Nice ladies, and appreciated the shotgun talk from me.
I just figured out why the 4 wheelers are next to this furniture.
It is so far back "there" , it might be faster to buy this 4 wheeler to ride all the way back there to where shotgun shells are.
<checks price tag on 4 wheeler>
*Yikes!*
I did not pay that much for my first car!
So as I trek back, I turn around every so often to see where I have been.
I would have snagged a compass off a rack to get my bearings, but I was afraid of getting lost, looking for a compass.
I do have a pen, and now I wonder whether I should make notes on how many steps I take in directions , on the brochure for breast enlargement, or the one I snagged off the Energy drink display for some pills that would allow me to drive like Jackie Stewart, shoot like John Wayne and throw a football like Johnnie Unitas.
Heck, in the old days, we would stop at a filling station, and could run inside, get a box of 28 ga shells, some Cokes, Peanuts, Candy Bars and be back out before the gas jockey got the vehicle gassed up, checked air in tires , cleaned the windshield, and checked under the hood - and he/she was fast!
I also don't think we walked as far to where we were going to hunt once we parked the truck, as I was having to walk to get "way back there" to get the darn 28 ga shells.
I see all sorts of stuff in the hunting department, once I arrived, that ...well...*snort*...you have to be kidding me!
Phyllis Diller would not be caught dead wearing some of this stuff.
You can forget Uncle Miltie wearing any of it for his old routines too.
Either someone in Marketing County has never been hunting , or they have some purple and pink vegetation and this camo is suggested to be worn out hunting in Marketing County *snort-snicker*
In the old days one could smoke in a store.
Boy how I miss them days!
By the time I trekked back there, I needed a smoke to get my wind back...
"Pops, how can we help you today?"
"Pops?" I am 53 years old, have all my hair, in need of a haircut, and the only gray I have is in my mustache.
Now if I can only find the voice...<looks around>
When did they come up with Military Britches that blends in with red and blue ice chests?
That shirt...I ain't ...words don't describe. No wonder employees wear them vests, it is to hid awful tastes in T shirts.
"Yes , I am looking for 28 ga shotgun shells".
*crickets*
"Hunting need these shells" he sez.
When did they come out with shells longer than the Roman Candles I had as a kid?
Well I am not going to get to smoke, and I for sure am not going to hike back out to do so, and hike back in...
I follow ice chest camo britches to see what gun shoots these shells.
You have to be kidding me!
That thing is bigger and weighs more than many grandmas I know, or have known.
Lady Luck showed...
"That is nice, still I am just needing some 28 ga shells, target loads, #8 shot like used for skeet" - I said.
"Skeet? What is that?" - he asked.
Like I said, Lady Luck showed. If she is going to give me a set up line, then by golly I am going to run with it.
"Critter, about so tall <hands up from floor to my waist>, that can fly 115.7 mph, and do ninja back flips and change directions ". - I said with a dead pan face.
LawDog would have been sooo proud of me! *grin*
I was sorta "pointed" to where the shells were , snagged what I came in for, and hiked on back up front.
No wonder they sell running shoes on end aisles , folks wear out shoes just hiking all over the darn place.
I see all sorts of stuff in the hunting department, and the only thing this stuff is good for, is hunting a wallet of a shopper and making it thin.
It sure ain't for getting game, nope, nada, no way.
.