You buy a gun at a shop only to find out you used to own it a couple of years ago.
You tell your wife that you happened to talk to your friend the gun dealer and she says, "Oh Lord, what did you buy this time?"
You own more than two loading presses.
You buy a gun because you haven't bought one in a while.
Your non-handloading friends bring you their empty brass instead of throwing it away.
You collect berdan-primed and aluminum casings just in case you find a way to reload them in the future.
You spend over $5000 building a shop for handloading and working on guns.
You have a library filled with back issues of American Rifleman, Handloader, and Gun Report magazines, and you bought a computer to index them on.
You start feeling uneasy if you have fewer than 500 rounds on hand for your favorite shooter.
There are odd rifle parts on your night stand, right next to the alarm clock and lens case.
The post office calls you when your latest issue of Shotgun News arrives.
When you look at a beautiful sun-set, and all you can think about is how much sight adjustment you'd have to make in the fluky light.
When your idea of the perfect vacation is two bug-filled weeks at Camp Perry.
When the ground cover your kids use on over-night backyard camp outs is your old shooting mat.
The 3-year-old's favorite toys are scrap brass from the reloading bench.
When your littlest son cheers and yells "DEER MEAT" when Bambi's mother gets shot.
When your kids know which fast food joints are closest to which range/gunshop.
When you give travel directions to people, using gunshops/ranges as reference points.
When you load the kids in the van, you holler "Does everyone have earmuffs?", rather than "Put your seatbelts on!"
When you measure the passage of seasons by which rifle you're loading for. (Target rifle in spring, hunting rifle in fall, etc.)
When you always get dirty looks from the UPS man, because every package that he brings to your house is either overly long or very heavy.
Your car has a bumper sticker that reads "My wife - yes, my car - maybe, my gun - NEVER!"
You buy some checkering tools, checker all your gunstocks, and then start in on the bedposts.
You buy a gun you know is cheaply made and won't work well out of the box because all the guns you have work too well and you don't have anything to play with.
Heel, I was lookin at pnuematic staple guns today and was asking myself things like "magazine capacity", and rate of fire, will you be able to "speed load" with this model??
You can't watch tennis matches without thinking of shooting because of the score always being 30-30.
follow up: You think that's bad, what if the score is 30-40 (Krag)
You can't remember the plot of the last movie you saw, but you can name the model, caliber, and finish of every firearm in the movie.
You reflexively count the number of shots fired by every weapon in the film, then gripe to your friends when the guns exceed the capacities.
Your friends refuse to see ANY films containing firearms with you.
You use a .32-20 casing for a pen cap.
You take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just so you can wipe them off before putting them away.
You keep a loaded gun hidden in every room in the house, including the bathroom and kitchen, "just in case", and then keep one on you at all times just in case someone breaks in while you're in the hallway.
You named your pocket pistol "Little Guy" and your 12 gauge "Big Jake."
If Peter Alan Kasler owes you a lunch because you caught him out on an obscure fine point of firearms law.
Your answer to the recent thread, "How many guns do you need?" is, "How many do you have room for in your house?" -- especially if your personal weakness happens to be pocket pistols.
You make $50 per hour at work, but spend 30 minutes on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of reloadable brass.
You get a flat and realize that you've got 400 pounds of shot, a Hefty bag each of wads and empty hulls, and enough primers to re-open the main shaft of the Lost Dutchman on top of your spare tire.
When you do the wash, several spent casings fall out of your rolled-up sleeves.
When you go to the magazine rack, you check the Guns and Ammo cover to see if there are new guns as compared to checking the Playboy cover to see what it is offering (of course, this could be indicative of the older male).
You read 300-400 messages on rec.guns every day, in addition to being subscribed to the Glock, SIG, HK, Kahr, Tactics, IPSC, and IDPA mailing lists, and you still wish there was more to do in the Internet firearms community.
You actually consider buying the camo sexy underwear advertised for your sweetie in some gun catalogs.
You carry pictures of all your guns with you at all times in order to show off your "babies".
Your telephone number is: 223-2250 or 308-3006 or 303-3040 or some other combination of three + four digit calibers.
When you hear "Winchester Cathedral", you think of the "church of shooting".
You learn that in the house your buying someone committed suicide using a firearm and all your interested in is the make, model, caliber and condition of the firearm that was used.
Your kids, once in said house, determine that the broken window was a result of that firearms slug after it left the skull cavity of the victim.
Your brothers-in-law only come to visit so they can shoot your guns.
Your gun dealer owes you $500 bucks rather than the other way around.
You think there is some special significance when you glance at a digital clock and it shows 3:08, 3:57, 2:23, etc., no matter how many times you see it.
You use a spot on the windshield as a targeting sight on that ******* driver in front of you.
You should spread out your ammo boxes a bit to more evenly distribute the weight on the floor.
You start eyeing the floor space around your gun vault wondering if you could fit another one there along side it.
If that guy, Gary, at the Sportsman's Guide (catalog) does NOT write you several times a year to say "Hey (your name here), old Pal, I just can't afford to keep sending these catalogs".
You consider the money you lose on your frequent trades as "entertainment money".
You purchase a second ( insert Make/model here ) pistol just because it has night sights.
You suggest your company picnic should be held at the local range instead of the country club.
You have dog named after a firearm or firearm company.
You have a separate safe for your pre-ban magazines.
You decline a date because you plan on reloading next Friday night.
You go to the range just to hang out.
You have a stockpile of rifle cases and gun rugs "because you never can have too many of these".
Your lottery picks are all calibers, like 3-5-7-22-38-44
When 40-22-38 means different calibers to you.
You take your wife on vacation to a gun show for your 10th Anniversary and she is as excited to go as you are.
You could identify on sight all rifle bolt-faces as in - "that's a Ruger, that's a Savage, that's a Winchester."
If the largest gun store in your area calls you if they need something they can't get elsewhere.
If, when buying a new gun, you plead with your gun shop to keep it until you have space for it.
You build a gun rack in your bedroom and it's closer to you than your wife.
You can identify gunshots from faraway as to caliber, whether from a rifle or pistol, brand of gun, grains of powder used, what powder and at what speed.
You consider concealed carry every time you shop for clothes.
You take a dolly or hand truck with you to gun shows.
You buy a gun safe much larger than you think you'll ever need and still fill it up.
You need a second gun safe.
You need yet another safe for all of the ammunition.
You have to structurally reinforce your house due to this hobby
You only watch movies so you can find the gun errors.
You don't need the advice of O.E.M., because you already own them all.
You order a new model S&W revolver BEFORE your S&W stocking dealer has even heard about it, and BEFORE there is even a set wholesale price on the gun.
You dream house has a double basement so that you can have an indoor range, a walk in gun vault, and still be able to build a rec room in the first basement level so that the TV will have a safe backstop.
You buy a Remington 700 BDL Varmint in .308 just to get a supply of 308 cases to make brass for your .44 Auto Mag.
In the middle of the night, you slip and almost fall out the second story bathroom window because of the Guns & Ammo you left in front of the throne.
You remember important family dates based on when you purchased a firearm.
If in the closing scene of "The Shootist", when Ron Howard shoots the "Bad Guy" bar tender, reflects then PITCHES a wonderful Colt Model P, fully engraved yet, across the room. You hear the crash, glass and thud. The thud is you hitting the floor from fainting after extreme nausea that had overwhelmed you!
You give all of your kids, pets and vehicles firearms-related names. Examples: "Savage! Bad Dog! Get out of the flower bed!" "Winchester! Marlin! You boys go tie up the dog again." "Annie Oakley Johnson! What are you doing on my computer?!" "Where are those cats? Smith! Wesson! Din-din time" "Well, time to fire up the ol' Hawken and mow the lawn."
If your wife/girlfriend starts using Hoppes No. 9 instead of perfume to get your attention.
(follow up: Truth is stranger than fiction: I have witnessed friends being asked by (attractive) waitresses what kind of cologne they were wearing, because it smelled good. The cologne in question: Hoppes #9.)
follow up: You know, I've been waiting years for Hoppes to make a cologne, and it makes a nice room freshener. : )
You call your local store to tell them where they can get a hard-to-find item, and then they piggyback their small order onto your larger one.
You bought 10 pallets of ammo cans to sell at gun shows and kept 9 of them to store your ammo.
You have so many guns that you can't name them all.
You know what a chrono is.
You have an inverted water cooler jug mounted on your reloader because you need the extra powder capacity.
When your birthday roles around, your significant other calls your gunsmith to find out what to get you and where to get it.
You've ever turned down sex with your wife (or anyone else's) just to go shooting instead.
You keep losing guns, then find them, only to lose them again, AND you live in a one bedroom apartment.
You're cleaning out your car because you're about to sell it, and find a case of .38 Special you bought a year and a half ago and forgot about.
You not only buy ammo for a gun you don't have, but might get some day, and buy reloading dies for it also.
If all your computer passwords are firearms related.
You gave your daughter a brick of .22s for Christmas.
You have three guns in the same model and caliber.
You have considered moving the TV outside so you have room for another gun safe.
Your mantra is "Buy them all!".
You read "rec.guns" before your morning coffee.
Your favorite euphemism for sex is "concealing the weapon."
You think a shotgun wedding is what happens when a fellow gets overly fond of his 12 gauge.
Your reloading bench is made of better wood than your bedroom set.
You read that "Brady II" would outlaw possession of more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition and think "I have more than that rolling around loose in the trunk of my car!"
You tape American Shooter so you can pause, reverse and fast forward to do a complete analysis of the show.
Your collection of AR back issues, Gun digests, and reloading manuals cost you a premium the last time you moved. (Or maybe that is a sign that you are an OLD gun nut!)
Your gun safe cost more then your dining room set.
You work for the military and have more shooting experience then the guys in uniform you work with.
You visit the range more then twice a week.
Your wife says to buy a gun she would like you to sell one first (not funny but common).
You teenage daughter's next date is introduced to you while your sitting at the loading bench cleaning your M-1.
When you talk about the best piece you ever had, you mean a pistol.
You own a bayonet for a gun you haven't bought yet.
You spend more time choosing which guns to bring with you on a trip, as well as holsters and belts, than it does to pick out the clothes you will wear.
You have a magazine loader on your key ring.
You visit a friend's private range 150 miles away more often then 3/4 the local members.
You approach total strangers and ask if they're going to keep their brass.
If friends and family ask what you want for Christmas "Other than gun stuff."
You've ever run out of film photographing your guns for insurance purposes.
You've ever photographed your entire gun collection, but "insurance purposes" never entered your mind.
You try taking one big 'family photo' of your gun collection, but just can't fit them all in one frame.
You have Brownells on speed dial.
You hand crafted a base pad for your Hogue monogrip out of a hockey puck.
You ever had the thought " I wonder what scale that little kids Animal Crackers are, compared to Regulation silhouettes?"
You buy a .25 Beretta to keep inside your Bible cover, 'cause everybody needs a "hideout church gun".
Every time one of your friends goes to buy a new gun they check with you first, since you've probably had one already, and because they know you have ammo and gun parts sitting around for guns you no longer own
When you refuse to evacuate your burning office building until you retrieve your reloading data notebooks, targets hanging on your cubicle wall, the shooters bible in the file cabinet and the G. Gordon Liddy stacked and packed calendar from the lower desk drawer.
If the Bible you read every night before bed has gun specifications and pricing (i.e. Shooter's Bible).
You buy a used holster at a show for $5.00, and then spend a few hundred on a gun that fits it..
Your teenage daughter's new boyfriend asks, "What are the flags at different places along your driveway for?" and you reply, "Young man, they're range markers."
You have a rack of a dozen guns each on the wall in every room of your house--including your bathroom.
You spend over the cost of a new Glock to travel to the GSSF/Glock matches on the chance that you might win one as well as to shoot at some place new and different.
You take your gun parts to work to do your customizing (your boss has a bigger budget, in my case the federal gov't, just because you have better tools at work), even tho' it may get you in trouble.
You let your wife go out and blow all kinds of money on junk she'll never use just so she won't gripe when you buy that latest piece you really need for your collection.
What's the difference between a gun nut and a firearms enthusiast? 1,000 rounds.
follow up: Aren't you missing a few zeros? Oooh, you mean per caliber.
follow up: I always get a kick out of the newspaper articles that say " several guns were seized, along with 500 rounds of ammo". They must have been cheap or something.
You identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's "Blue Press" before you ever notice the girl.
You're in the army reserves, and they can't figure out why every time they send you out to shoot the M60 with 100 rounds, you return with a shot-out barrel. It never dawns on them you're bringing your own ammo.
You have spent more on guns in the last 6 months than you did on your wife's engagement ring.
You go the shooting range on Monday night during football season.
It is very common in your household to step on BBs, spent and live primers, and the occasional .22 rimfire with bare feet.
If the above happens, and you don't find it weird until someone else points it out!!!
If, upon seeing your 1978 wildcatting project (a .375 on a .50 Sharps 3-1/4" case, 3340 FPS with a 300 Sierra boat tail), Elmer Keith says "You're nuts!"
If, when watching The Matrix, you yelp when Trinity drops that SPAS-12 on the floor.
And you're definitely a gun nut if you read this all the way to the end.