Defender
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I went with the Colt Defender, both for the name/quality, and the CCW of it.
It, I, had teething problems at first, with either FMJ or JHP, but my gun-buddy, the range officer at my range, who carries a Defender, and swears by them, told me to get Wilson Combat magazines, which did correct the feeding problems.
But, after I had some 300 more rounds out her, it would jam, now and then, not a lot, but sometimes.
So, I disassemble the gun, cleaned her good, including all the magazines, both Wilson, and the factory mags (using EEZOX for the magazines and the feed ramp.
Since then, and after any shoots of more than 200 rounds, they all get cleaned, and have had no feeding issues since, be it FMJ or JHP using, either the Wilson mags or, the factory mags.
They're tight, and non-forgiving, if they get too much powder residue either in the mags or on the feed ramp, but again, no problems if kept clean.
For the record, any of the jams that occurred were cleared fast, one motion, and the gun continued to fire the rest of the mag load/s. Otherwise, no stove-pipe jams.
Same deal with my Sig *P232 SL's blow-back action, and round count, and cleaning of everything, or else.. problems.
*Not true of this gun, as most of the jams are stove pipe, and require, time, pressing on the magazine thumb release button and muscling the slide down just a tad to clear the jam.. no joy.
Also, I did shoot a Commander and that gun had as much, if not a tad more, recoil, than the Defender IMHO, including a big difference with getting back-on-target follow-up shots with accuracy than my Defender, which I shot them both, back to back, 50 rounds each..
IMHO, weight carries its own, in; for every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction, and I think it's simply the fact that the grip wins the day (in controlling either gun, but the defender is easier to hold down) along with, for me, the accuracy because of the great day/only Novak sights on the Defender are easy to acquire and fast to use.
Mine, and others that I have seen at my range shoot them are tack drivers at, or below, 50ft, which is the critical area one is most likely gonna have to cover in a HD or SD situation.
But, either a 3" Defender or 4" Commander is very CCW, and in terms of forgiveness, I would give that to the 4", in the area of round count, replacement of recoil springs, and cleaning, in terms of a 4" will shoot longer, dirtier, without problems than a 3" IMHO.
Keep them clean, lubed, same ammo weights, FMJ/*JHP with ammo that works for your gun, and you should be good to go either way IMHO.
*have used with complete success, 185gr JHP fyi.
LS