bad situation.. dont know what to do

[hso]

You've been given good advice to not have any contact with the BF. Follow it.

Also, you've been told to get a restraining order against him. Follow that advice as well. The guy has threatened you. You have documentation of it. More importantly, you need to establish a document trail demonstrating that you did everything in your power to act as a responsible law abiding citizen to keep this trouble away from you. If it happens that your GF does the same and her parents do the same then it further establishes that this guy is the bad actor. It also protects your guns against any claims on his part that you've threatened him. If you want to keep your gun rights don't throw them away on this guy.

 

[Autolycus]

Originally posted by: BigFatKen
I read the link to the age of consent on the teen talk. It may be set up so a 18 year old is not charged for sex with a 16 year old. But it may also be a crime for someone over 21 to have a sex with a 16 year old. If the teen line is completly true, then a 50+ president could have sex with 16 year olds too.

Wait until Clinton hears about that.


Seriously, its the girls fault. I would suggest a lot of counseling, a restraining order on your part, and for the parents to punish her. Take her license away, ask for reimbursement for the abortion, take the car away, and call the police everytime her boyfriend shows up. Have him charged with tresppassing. Then take the girl to a good headshrink and find out why she is rebelling and is so angry.

 

[dfaugh]

Well, I'll go against the overwhelming opinion here

It sounds to me like you are the same type of person that I am...You feel compelled to help those in need, especially young people.

Not sure I got the quote right, but its something like "All it takes for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing."

So, HYPOTHETICALLY here's what I'd do. Report his threats to the police, such that you know he's been dis-armed...Give them any info possible (drugs?) that'll get him thrown in the slammer, if possible.

Wait for him to retaliate and when he does give him the whupping he deserves. Repeat as necessary, until he decides to head for greener pastures, preferably a long ways away.

Now nothing like this has ever happened to me (in particular with my girlfriends ex-boyfriend) but HYPOTHETICALLY this will work.

Once he's out of the picture, you can work on getting the sister back on track...The best way to do this (IMHO) is firmly, but rationally discussing and addressing her problems, with her, and getting a professional involved as needed. She obviosly isn't mature enough to handle the "real world" yet, and still need some guidence. Heck, I have a 21 yr old son, that still isn't mature enough to handle everything the world throws at him.

 

[buck00]

starplayer

This guy is a loser. He is the type of guy who if you went over there and gave him the a-- beating he deserved, he would promptly call the cops and cry and get you busted. So don't indulge in any Charles Bronson fantasies of revenge.

However, maybe this guy has a weakness you can exploit to ruin him. You said he likes drugs right? How careful is he? Where does he buy them? How often does he buy them and use them? Some druggies like to buy on the weekends. Is it possible you can put in an anonymous tip about him on a Friday night when you know he is sitting at his place getting high? Imagine the cops swinging by his place and he has coke on his face like he's Tony Montana. * You would have to be clever about it and make sure he is in possession of something when you put the call in. Assess this angle- it might be a way to resolve this matter.

Then we'll see how much interest your GF's sister keeps in her "soul mate" as he is serving 2-5 years in prison, getting sodomized every night.

 

[NineseveN]

I hate to break it to you guys blaming only the guy and wanting him to get busted on drug charges, but what do you think the wee lass is doing when they're together (aside from the obvious birds and bees stuff)?

This whole notion that the guy is responsible for the female's corruption is antiquated and quite frankly, absurd. Women are or more Shakespear than Disney.

 

[odysseus]

I have seen this played out over and over again with families. It is very difficult for people when someone in their family is not acting as a reasonable person would. Then everyone around suffers for it. Someone this young is obviously unstable. Misery loves company, watch out for that!

Your issue of your girlfriend's sister is not your place to take on. You are there to support your girlfriend. Don't get involved and for sure like so many here, don't go looking to encounter this trash of a "boyfriend" as it will only be you, one way or the other, who will suffer for it. Saying you have a CCW makes this even worse and is asking for legal woes.

If he is coming for you looking for trouble, that's another story. However you have no business talking to him, I know you think you can and certainly want to help your girlfriend, but this is a usual misguided mistake we guys get asked to do.

Think about it. You are trying to reason with unreasonable people? You are trying to make a person who is on drugs, desperate, full of malice, preys on young lost girls, and who knows worse - have them listen to you reasoning with them? Sounds like you're not thinking this through...

All too often in these situations with substance abuse and losers, the idea that the family is a victim is not fully appreciated. Tough love is not easy, but if not taken at some point the dispair will drag everyone down. She needs to be cut off. As they say, it usually gets worse before it gets better - and often than not, it just gets worse.

It's best to be like the example in the story of "The Prodigal Son". If her sister comes around and realizes her ways - that's when the family turns on the support. Any other time and they are being a co-dependent. It's sad she is so young to have to learn so early the hard way.