Best Improvised Home Self Defense?

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I like all the suggestions here, especially the chemical sprays/fire extenguishers. I like the distance they provide. If they only drop the attacker to his knees, instead of making him run away,
A foot to the groin followed immediately by thumbs to the eyeballs should enable me to kick their firearm/knife/whatever out of their reach.
Tearing an ear off tends to distract them, too, an it's relatively easy to do.
Stiff fingers to the belly, right under the ribs.
Letter openers are good for stabbing.
A portable/wireless phone is good for bludgeoning.
[ I'm just looking around the room and ruling out the firearms in sight]
Earphone/headphone jack to the eyes or in the ear canal would probably hurt a bit
Nail file to eyes, ears or belly;
Hot candle wax thrown at BG;
Heavy picture frames thrown from a distance, or smashed over head/back of neck;
Scissors for stabbing;
Ruler for stabbing;
Nail polish remover to the face [will hurt their eyes, but not my hands];
Lamps for throwing and bludgeoning in belly and over the head;
Pens for stabbing , gouging eyes, in ear canal;
Canned good and 2 liter bottles in the kitchen for throwing;
Hot spices for the face;
Wine bottles over the head, then broken glass for stabbing/slashing;
Husband's ties/belts for tying them up after any of the above methods have subdued them.
 
Sleuth;
I haven't got a sticky bomb I'm afraid. But I DO have a flash light with a bayonet lug! It's an issure signal torch that can be attached to a 1907 bayonet and stuck in the ground. Even has a long cord on the switch to allow the signaller to move to one side so as not toe be sniper bait.

And ON topic, you can belt the crap out of someone with the mouse from your computer just by swinging it on the end of it's cable. Assuming you haven't gone high tech and gotten a wireless mouse. Of course you could take your old corded mouse and fill it full of epoxy and birdshot.
 
While I am always armed when I am out and Im never more than a 'leap and a bound' from my gun at home, I can think of a few scenarios that require an improvised weapon.



1. You are home alone, taking a shower, you hear an unusual sound and suddenly you are being attacked in the bathroom.... what do you grab?

The bathroom is probably the most vulnerable spot in the house, how well prepared are you in there? What are your plans to foil an attacker while dispensing the ol' #2?


2. (most likely) In the bedroom, middle of the night. I figure most of us will have our firearm in the room with us so being disarmed is less likely and if it does occur you may then be facing your own weapon in the hands of the intruder... I dont see most of us having an arsenal of chains, swords, bats, chemicals at our bedsides, I know my wife wouldn't have it:uhoh:

My plan? Well my pistol is at arm length but just for fun lets say that i reach for it and its not there.... I rush the bastard in total darkness, no lights or flashlights, I can make my way around my house in pitch blackness. They cant say the same, so I will rush them... punch, knee, elbow, just a windmill of limbs beating their ??? to the ground. Then once I had a handle on the situation, I could make my way to the other guns, etc.
Remember that in your house you will always have home field advantage, you can get the element of surprise and exploit the hell out of it.

just for fun, my improvise options would be: big bowie knife that i use to chop kindling by the fireplace, kitchen knives, wooden monkey statue.
its not much but hey, I wouldn't want to take any of it in the face.

also for the truck, i have a 3-D Maglite as well as my trusty Craftsman Hickory AxHandle! both of which are sure to scramble somebodys eggs.

Heres a few pics of the favs. 1 is the mangled wood chopping bowie and the other is of my trusty painters 5-in-1 tool.
Bowie.JPG
5in1.JPG
 
As far as canned goods goes.............................
How about a few (unopened) in a tripled up plastic grocery store bag.
this would make an improvised impact weapon. :evil:

As far as tools........Screwdrivers,hammers,axes,pry bars ect,ect..........use your imagination. Hardware stores sell all kind of stuff you can maim or kill with. :neener:
 
If they come after you while you're in the shower, you're pretty much hosed. They've obviously been doing some serious surveillance to establish patterns and know you're in there, and they'd only be in the bathroom if they're after you specifically. That said, there's still shampoo bottles and soap to throw at them, followed by a body check/tackle. But they'd be much more likely to use the fact that you're in the shower, and thus can't hear much, to clean out your valuables.

As for scenario #2, even if my guns in the bedroom mysteriously vanished, there's still the nice big MagLite, and my bedroom is plenty cluttered with throwable objects, plus the ever popular socks and rolls of change.
 
I havn't seen anyone mention their belt. A good smack up against the head with a solid metal belt buckle will probably stun someone for a second.
Click to expand...

That's because my belt is gainfully employed keeping my pants up.
 
OK, what I see here is what am I gong to do, if I am at my sister's house, the anti- gunner,,,,,, if there is ever a problem,,,,,, I like the wasp spray the best of all.

Congratulations to all that think they will never be disarmed, and I hope you are right:)
 
2. (most likely) In the bedroom, middle of the night. I figure most of us will have our firearm in the room with us so being disarmed is less likely and if it does occur you may then be facing your own weapon in the hands of the intruder... I dont see most of us having an arsenal of chains, swords, bats, chemicals at our bedsides, I know my wife wouldn't have it
Click to expand...

You don't know us THR members very well, do you...:neener:
 
C-bag called it right - the GI surplus entrenching tool can be devastating. You can keep one by the door for uninvited guests - I mean, to shovel the snow. Coleman makes civilian versions for camping that are just as solid but look more innocent than the army olive ones.

If youre attacked in the shower, seems to me a good thing would be to grab to get some soap or shampoo on your hands, then try to swipe the attacker's face. If you get any soap in his eyes they'll sting, he'll close them and back off or at least his eyes would tear, and give you a few seconds to escape or grab that emergency machete. Or as long as you've got your fingers in his face, do the 3 Stooges eye poke.
 
do the 3 Stooges eye poke
Click to expand...

Thats a good one. There is a good eye-poke scene in '28 Days Later' if any of you have seen that movie, at the end one of the characters is labotomized through the eye sockets with a pair of thumbs, its pretty graphic. Good Times.:D
 
Okies.

I live in the UK. Self Defense is Bad (IE, prosecutable). Actual Weapons are Also Bad (that's pre-meditation, you know!)

I live in a house chock-full of computers. Ever met an ATX power-supply?

It's a five inch by four inch cuboid of metal with a transformer in it, and a six inch cable-bundle that has a breaking strain of several hundred pounds. The 220V 400 Watt jobs weigh maybe four or six pounds. Seeing as I have lots of computers, many of whom are in bits being fixed, this is not an odd thing to have in the house.

So if I overarm one across some tosspot's bonce, it's not a "weapon", per se, it was "too hand, I was frightened, Ossifer, he had a knife!"

Looking for a new power supply? Try the new 600Watt "Morningstar" brand!
 
Since my post earlier, I have managed to fight off attackers in the Living room and Kitchen. {Metaphorically speaking}
I am now in the bathroom taking a well deserved, relaxing, hot shower.
And I find myself under attack, yet again.
Well , let's see:
Seems to me, that hand held shower head I love so much, is gonna be REAL handy about now. I crank up the Hot water all the way and turn off the cold and scald the dastard who is rude enough to interrupt a lady's ablutions.
After that, I use the Shower curtain rod to poke him away from me and bash him with it. Then a poke in the eyes or ear canal with the pen kept there for doing crossword puzzles. My eye liner and lip liner pencils will serve the same purpose.
A toothbrush makes a good jabber to the belly too.
Any number of cosmestics can be thrown in his face, like face or body powder.
Perfume and cologne both have high enough alcohol content that, when sprayed in the face, will give an attacker pause.
I could always throw some 'feminine hygiene' products at him... most men seem to avoid them like the plague.
:rolleyes:
Let's see, how about toilet bowl cleaner to the face, or a toilet bowl brush for poking and bashing and scraping, those bristles are mean.
As someone else stated earlier, our most valuable weapon is always going to be our mind/imagination. All the things we are listing here are merely tools.
I want to thank everyone participating , I've gotten some good tips and it's made me think about what I'd do in the unlikely situation that I become disarmed and have to improvise.
Holly
 
If I ever choose "The Low Road", I'm not going anywhere near Holly's house. :uhoh: :D

I like the power supply idea too.

Attacking the eyes seems effective but I wouldn't want to permanently blind the attacker (greatly increase my chances of prison time). Does anyone know the effects of spraying a fire extinguisher to the eyes? Is there permanent damage from the chemicals? Does it hurt the eyes or just disorient the perp? OC spray is illegal in some places, so how would a fire extinguisher compare? :scrutiny:
 
Holly, good idea about the shower curtain rod. However most are very light aluminium or plastic. You could "upgrade" to a piece of hardwood or schedule 40 steel pipe. Some of the stuff the womenfolk use on their hair will gag a buzzard off a gut wagon at a thousand yards too, LOTS of potential improv weapons there. :D :neener:

Bog's idea of computer bits is a good one too.

There seems to be two entirly DIFFERENT lines of thought here though.

1. You live where you are allowed to own "real" weapons, but are momentarily seperated from your boom stick. Or

2. You live where you aren't allowed to have "real" weapons and even defending yourself in the first place is officially frowned on.

In the first instance, the improvised weapon would most likely be a temporary fix to get you to your main defensive weapon. In this instance,you would just grab ANYTHING you could to inflict hit points on the BG.

In the second instance, the improvised weapon would be a means to defend yourself without getting sent to jail (gaol for our UK friends). In the second instance the idea of preparing and pre-positioning an "improvised" weapon would make more sense. Where I live, it wouldn't make sense for me to keep a computer power supply handy when I could just stash a handgun near by. I could even keep a stainless steel revolver in a zip-lock baggie with some silica gel duck taped to the wall of the shower enclosure if I was really that worried about being jumped while in the bath.

I an NOT paranoid! That is just an ugly rumor started by the people who are plotting against me! :neener:
 
How about a 3-5 foot length of broomstick/1" dowel, with a Ka-Bar solidly ductatped to the end?

Did the (minimal) army bayonet training...got to think a sharp metal thingy onthe end of a stick, vigorously poked would keep someone off me.
 
How about a 3-5 foot length of broomstick/1" dowel, with a Ka-Bar solidly ductatped to the end?
Click to expand...
While that would be a dandy weapon, the question is; WHY? Refer to my previous posting.

If you were in GB, that would be enough of a "real" weapon to get you racked on "premeditation" charges.:barf:

If you were in the US, why not have a handgun or a properly made spear or a rifle/shotgun with a bayonet. A knife taped to a stick would be a good improvised survival weapon. But if you have time to rig it up, you's have time to look for something better, or, to grab your primary defensive weapon. I think the idea of the original post was what could/would you use in a "heat-of-the-moment" situation.
 
My dad repelled 6 armed (knives) home invaders with a baseball bat. Our national pastime.
 
Carbonator, I understood the thread to be "You are in a place you have a right to be (home or work), when you are suddenly, violently, attacked". Unless YOU are the aggresor, it is VERY unlikely you would be imprisoned if the unintended result of your spontanious defense resulted in permanent injury. As long as the elements justifying use of force are present, and you stop using force when the attacker stops attacking, and you keep your wits about you when you talk to the police, you should not have a problem.

If the attacker has stopped, and you continue to apply force, you become the agressor. You act to stop the attack, not punish the attacker.
 
I'm kind of surprised noone has mentioned the humble umbrella yet as an improvised stabbing weapon. Imagine a 3.5 foot noncollapsible golf umbrella with a metal tip and a straight handle. It may not be sharp but the goblin will know where it hit. As a bonus it will open wider than most doors.

I keep one near my (third floor apartment) door, and not just for rainy days. I don't actually place golf :D

Another handy but shortrange improvised weapon is a lock chain or a U-lock like they sell for bikes. The first is a 3 feet or so of rubber-encased heavy gauge hardened steel chain, the other is a 10-12" long U-shaped lock with a heavy hardened steel locking block. Hit someone with one and he'll know he's been hit (add a heavy padlock to the end of the chain for extra effect :) ). As a bonus, they're widely available, unregulated and don't draw much attention.

Cheers,
ErikM :evil:
 
The bike chain made me think of something else. If you do happen to ride a bike, some types of air pumps could be used to land a couple of blows at least. Or even better, used as thrusting weapons aimed at the throat, solar plexus or groin. and can be carried on the frame within easy reach, even while riding (for anti-dog duty). My bike has a quick release for the seat. Popping the seat out and holding the base of the seat tube, then using the front point of the seat itself as a hammer/mace could also get you out of a jam. You could also put a water bottle in the freezer and for a while at least, have a pound or so of ice to belt somebody with.

I also have to admit I haden't thought of the umbrella either. Just jam it up the BG's bum and open it! :what: :evil:

The longer this thread continues, the more ridiculous those silly "No Weapons Allowed" signs become.:D
 
*glances around desk*

Subwoofer... with cable.
VTR (VHS) with cable (the BetaSP is *way* to heavy to flail!)
Router (with a skein of Cat-5)
Sambuca bottle (but O! That is last resort... it's *nice!*)

But you know what?

I've got my weapon right here.

*taps temple*
 
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