Bit Me: A story of the end of the world
- Thread starter hrgrisso
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Apple a Day
Member
Could you mix in physical descriptions of the main characters?
I'm looking forward to reading more and seeing how they make it to Valhalla.
Keep going!
I'm looking forward to reading more and seeing how they make it to Valhalla.
Keep going!
Legionnaire
Contributing Member
Fun so far! Keep it up!
supraneurotoxin
Member
more!!
I've subscribed to the thread. I'll try to keep from reading it for a week or 2 so I can go through a couple of chapters at a time. I hate reading a part of a chapter then get left hanging and wanting more. Makes me feel like a junkie who needs a fix. LOL.
hrgrisso
Member
Chapter 2 Concluded
The four men walked inside; proud of the loading and building they’d done to protect their families. It was dark now. The day was over.
They’d wrapped horse fencing around the patio, so they could see out, open the doors, even go outside, but no biters could get to the vulnerable glass. Same with the windows. No fire marshall would ever approve, but that was a necessary risk compared to the hungry uglies.
Inside they found the women now joined by Patty and Jordan. Gabe’s sister and brother in law had always been distant but today was a bad day for everyone.
They turned on the TV searching for news. On MSNBC a pretty Asian woman with an overly dramatic voice and manner explained.
“…the super rabies that has been seen in the small villages and towns around the globe for the last several weeks today reached 21st century metropolitan life.
In England, the prime minister ordered troops sent out, but with recruiting at an all time low and reenlistment rates since Iraq have steadily fallen England does not have enough troops and the country is now in Chaos!”
Behind her a video of Downing Street in London was burning. She continued…
“In Russia the Chechen rebels began rushing military positions; only to have the military open fire, killing as many as could be seen. It did not take long for the military to realize that rather than an attack it was flight that spurred them on. They were attempting to escape the rabies itself. After the rabies reached into the heart of the military itself, it did not take long for it to reach Moscow itself.
Word has not been heard from any of our correspondents or any official government news in India in the last twenty four hours. At last reports many cities were inflames, with low building requirements and lack of an adequate fire control system the fire and the disease is believed to be spreading. Of course there are conflicting reports and nothing is confirmed but it is believed that millions of refugees are fleeing before both.”
The list went on and on, Saudi Arabia, Argentina, Brazil, China, Japan, Australia, Canada, Germany and France. Detailing the massive destruction of all the worlds major powers. It seemed that the only nation that still functioned was Israel, probably due to their well practiced and heavily controlled country and police and military infrastructure.
Finally the petite Asian woman, now sounding strained and her face puffy, eyes red, got to America.
“At 11o’clock this morning the outbreak began in the U.S. The first report was in San Clemente, California just over the border from Mexico. From there quickly reports began arriving from all across the southwest; Phoenix, Tucson, Farmington, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Ft. Worth.
In New Orleans a diesel truck rammed and then exploded against the levee system. New Orleans is again under water. Thousands are expected dead. The Department of Homeland Security first said it was an isolated terrorist attack, but retracted that statement after all the outbreaks of the Super-Rabies became evident.
At two o’clock pacific time, the President was dedicating the new 9/11 memorial with the vice president when they were attacked.
Vice-President Guiliani was infected during the attack. The President was evacuated and taken to a safe location. Much of congress and the senate have been infected and/or killed this…<bleep>”
“That’s enough,” Gabe said.
Quickly whispers and comments started flowing about the danger and devastation that surrounded them. Quickly voices rose and with the volume of voices the children began to panic seeing their parents so upset, tears and cries soon erupted.
Louder this time, “That’s enough!” Gabe said again. “Everybody gather up, fold your arms and bow your heads.”
“Oh heavenly father,” he began. It seemed like such a long time since he’d prayed. Drawing himself up and fighting his body for control and composure he said again. “Heavenly Father, we’re here. Together. Thank you for the protection which we’ve received this day. But we’re here. And it feels like hell. We need you now, Heavenly Father. People are dying.” He thought of Linda and Mr. Creepy.
“People we love.” Gabe could hear Patty crying. They’d always had a strained relationship. Often unpleasant and they rarely got along. But he loved her and her family. Her boy David and Greg were good kids!
Biting back his grief he continued. “Heavenly Father, we need your help. We’ve tried to live right. Honestly and fair. We need your protection and your help now. Please protect us from the whirlwind about us. Please bless us with strength and courage. Protect our families who are now with us that they will be safe. Please keep us safe, and together. In your holy name Father. Amen.”
The four men walked inside; proud of the loading and building they’d done to protect their families. It was dark now. The day was over.
They’d wrapped horse fencing around the patio, so they could see out, open the doors, even go outside, but no biters could get to the vulnerable glass. Same with the windows. No fire marshall would ever approve, but that was a necessary risk compared to the hungry uglies.
Inside they found the women now joined by Patty and Jordan. Gabe’s sister and brother in law had always been distant but today was a bad day for everyone.
They turned on the TV searching for news. On MSNBC a pretty Asian woman with an overly dramatic voice and manner explained.
“…the super rabies that has been seen in the small villages and towns around the globe for the last several weeks today reached 21st century metropolitan life.
In England, the prime minister ordered troops sent out, but with recruiting at an all time low and reenlistment rates since Iraq have steadily fallen England does not have enough troops and the country is now in Chaos!”
Behind her a video of Downing Street in London was burning. She continued…
“In Russia the Chechen rebels began rushing military positions; only to have the military open fire, killing as many as could be seen. It did not take long for the military to realize that rather than an attack it was flight that spurred them on. They were attempting to escape the rabies itself. After the rabies reached into the heart of the military itself, it did not take long for it to reach Moscow itself.
Word has not been heard from any of our correspondents or any official government news in India in the last twenty four hours. At last reports many cities were inflames, with low building requirements and lack of an adequate fire control system the fire and the disease is believed to be spreading. Of course there are conflicting reports and nothing is confirmed but it is believed that millions of refugees are fleeing before both.”
The list went on and on, Saudi Arabia, Argentina, Brazil, China, Japan, Australia, Canada, Germany and France. Detailing the massive destruction of all the worlds major powers. It seemed that the only nation that still functioned was Israel, probably due to their well practiced and heavily controlled country and police and military infrastructure.
Finally the petite Asian woman, now sounding strained and her face puffy, eyes red, got to America.
“At 11o’clock this morning the outbreak began in the U.S. The first report was in San Clemente, California just over the border from Mexico. From there quickly reports began arriving from all across the southwest; Phoenix, Tucson, Farmington, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Ft. Worth.
In New Orleans a diesel truck rammed and then exploded against the levee system. New Orleans is again under water. Thousands are expected dead. The Department of Homeland Security first said it was an isolated terrorist attack, but retracted that statement after all the outbreaks of the Super-Rabies became evident.
At two o’clock pacific time, the President was dedicating the new 9/11 memorial with the vice president when they were attacked.
Vice-President Guiliani was infected during the attack. The President was evacuated and taken to a safe location. Much of congress and the senate have been infected and/or killed this…<bleep>”
“That’s enough,” Gabe said.
Quickly whispers and comments started flowing about the danger and devastation that surrounded them. Quickly voices rose and with the volume of voices the children began to panic seeing their parents so upset, tears and cries soon erupted.
Louder this time, “That’s enough!” Gabe said again. “Everybody gather up, fold your arms and bow your heads.”
“Oh heavenly father,” he began. It seemed like such a long time since he’d prayed. Drawing himself up and fighting his body for control and composure he said again. “Heavenly Father, we’re here. Together. Thank you for the protection which we’ve received this day. But we’re here. And it feels like hell. We need you now, Heavenly Father. People are dying.” He thought of Linda and Mr. Creepy.
“People we love.” Gabe could hear Patty crying. They’d always had a strained relationship. Often unpleasant and they rarely got along. But he loved her and her family. Her boy David and Greg were good kids!
Biting back his grief he continued. “Heavenly Father, we need your help. We’ve tried to live right. Honestly and fair. We need your protection and your help now. Please protect us from the whirlwind about us. Please bless us with strength and courage. Protect our families who are now with us that they will be safe. Please keep us safe, and together. In your holy name Father. Amen.”
supraneurotoxin
Member
ahhh.....my fix. much better.
great story man.
great story man.
Sistema1927
Member
Vice President Guliani? 
This really is a scary story.
This really is a scary story.
supraneurotoxin
Member
he just posted one! give the poor guy a chance at food, sex and sleep!
that being said, I hope at LEAST there's a chapter being written.....
that being said, I hope at LEAST there's a chapter being written.....
Good finish to chapter 2.
I still think they will need to get out of the condo eventually and get to his retreat via a bus or semi or something. A snow plow would be great but AZ does not have many near Scottsdale
Please keep the chapters coming.
I still think they will need to get out of the condo eventually and get to his retreat via a bus or semi or something. A snow plow would be great but AZ does not have many near Scottsdale
Please keep the chapters coming.
bigun15
Member
At first I was mad/pissed because Guiliani was the Vice President.
Then I was really happy and laughing because he got infected.
eric.cartman
Member
more, grrrrr, more more more, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
the naked prophet
Member
Don't rush yourself. You were doing well up until the news report - that part seemed rushed. I would suggest you listen to a few more news reports, then try to rewrite that section to be more "newsy." For instance, in one paragraph, you end every phrase with the word "itself."
A good story overall - see how long I didn't complain! I'm sure we all would like more verbal paintings of their defenses.
A good story overall - see how long I didn't complain! I'm sure we all would like more verbal paintings of their defenses.
hrgrisso
Member
Thanks Prophet
I noticed the repeated words during a rewrite just after I posted it. That wasn't in the original write up! :banghead: Sorry guys, I've got the story in my head, I've been writing it long hand first then transcribing it to an electronic format. I'll post more tonight or tommorow.
Something I'd like to explain quickly if I may, I love zombie stories. But so many follow some schmuck who doesn't know a .... sorry.
I was really excited when I heard that Stephen King's (My favorite living author) wrote CELL about zombies! I burned through it in less than a day. I loved the first half, the great zombie utter devastation. But then the zombies started mutating, into TELEPATHS?!?!?
So this was what spurred me to write, my ideas probably will differ from yours. But that's ok, I appreciate all the support so far, and the input. I'm not sure how far you all want me to get into their defenses, it's a condo their holed up in. Don't worry, they won't stay their for long!
Thanks again!
I noticed the repeated words during a rewrite just after I posted it. That wasn't in the original write up! :banghead: Sorry guys, I've got the story in my head, I've been writing it long hand first then transcribing it to an electronic format. I'll post more tonight or tommorow.
Something I'd like to explain quickly if I may, I love zombie stories. But so many follow some schmuck who doesn't know a .... sorry.
I was really excited when I heard that Stephen King's (My favorite living author) wrote CELL about zombies! I burned through it in less than a day. I loved the first half, the great zombie utter devastation. But then the zombies started mutating, into TELEPATHS?!?!?
So this was what spurred me to write, my ideas probably will differ from yours. But that's ok, I appreciate all the support so far, and the input. I'm not sure how far you all want me to get into their defenses, it's a condo their holed up in. Don't worry, they won't stay their for long!
Thanks again!
spartan55
Member
keepin comin
hrgrisso
Member
Chapter 3: H20 – The Evolution Baby
Miguel Manual opened his eyes. His heart was pounding and his whole body ached. Excruciating pain, arched across his entire body. It felt like he’d been shocked by a very powerful electrical line. Looking down at his hands and arms his entire body was covered in blood!
Quickly he stood up, felt his face and knew from the sticky sap-like texture it too was covered in blood. But whose blood could it be? Other than the pain, he felt great! Like a million bucks! He looked around, sudden confusion filled his mind! Where was he? He was in a city, but a city in chaos. It looked like the pictures of Lebanon from a few years ago, the summer war that tore up the country. Smoke rose to the sky all around the horizon. The sirens of police and fire trucks as well as EMS and every other Emergency service blended together into the cacophony around him. What devastation could have occurred caused this? How did he get here?
Looking further down the parking lot, it seemed almost like he was looking through binoculars, what was going on in his head, with his eyes? He just had to focus on something for a fraction of a second and it was like the zoom of a camcorder!
Around him and throughout the parking lot he saw several bodies spread around; men mostly, a few women. No one he knew, but what had happened here? So many bodies, this was an American city, what was going on!?
Something caught his attention at the edge of the building, a long piece of black rope and a bloody mass at the end of it. Immediately he knew it. It was his tribal braid! He’d grown that since he was a boy! It couldn’t be, but he reached up and felt his now slick and bloody, meaty scalp feeling his bald, bloody head. He ran the hundred yards in what seemed a few seconds. Picking up he cradled his beloved connection to his heritage he cradled it to his chest.
After a few moments, without thinking about it he jerked the bloody mop of hair by the base shoved it onto the top of his head. The gooey sounds of blood and meat on blood on meat should have been sickening. It wasn’t. It felt good to have that back on top! He stroked the end of his braid, lovingly caressing it. A tingling sensation stirred though him, it was like a limb almost falling asleep, a little awkward, a little pleasant.
For him the whole world stopped, nothing else mattered anymore, not the dead bodies in the parking lot, or the popping of gun shots and whirlwind of dozens of military and civilian helicopters overhead. That should have worried him the most, but it didn’t.
Miguel Manual opened his eyes. His heart was pounding and his whole body ached. Excruciating pain, arched across his entire body. It felt like he’d been shocked by a very powerful electrical line. Looking down at his hands and arms his entire body was covered in blood!
Quickly he stood up, felt his face and knew from the sticky sap-like texture it too was covered in blood. But whose blood could it be? Other than the pain, he felt great! Like a million bucks! He looked around, sudden confusion filled his mind! Where was he? He was in a city, but a city in chaos. It looked like the pictures of Lebanon from a few years ago, the summer war that tore up the country. Smoke rose to the sky all around the horizon. The sirens of police and fire trucks as well as EMS and every other Emergency service blended together into the cacophony around him. What devastation could have occurred caused this? How did he get here?
Looking further down the parking lot, it seemed almost like he was looking through binoculars, what was going on in his head, with his eyes? He just had to focus on something for a fraction of a second and it was like the zoom of a camcorder!
Around him and throughout the parking lot he saw several bodies spread around; men mostly, a few women. No one he knew, but what had happened here? So many bodies, this was an American city, what was going on!?
Something caught his attention at the edge of the building, a long piece of black rope and a bloody mass at the end of it. Immediately he knew it. It was his tribal braid! He’d grown that since he was a boy! It couldn’t be, but he reached up and felt his now slick and bloody, meaty scalp feeling his bald, bloody head. He ran the hundred yards in what seemed a few seconds. Picking up he cradled his beloved connection to his heritage he cradled it to his chest.
After a few moments, without thinking about it he jerked the bloody mop of hair by the base shoved it onto the top of his head. The gooey sounds of blood and meat on blood on meat should have been sickening. It wasn’t. It felt good to have that back on top! He stroked the end of his braid, lovingly caressing it. A tingling sensation stirred though him, it was like a limb almost falling asleep, a little awkward, a little pleasant.
For him the whole world stopped, nothing else mattered anymore, not the dead bodies in the parking lot, or the popping of gun shots and whirlwind of dozens of military and civilian helicopters overhead. That should have worried him the most, but it didn’t.
hrgrisso
Member
Chapter 3: Continued
President Young stood to the side of the podium. He hated being in the bunker. The lack of air movement always made him feel constricted. Waiting to walk up to that podium in front of the press corp. and tell the people of his country that things were about to go from bad to worse was the last thing he wanted to do. He was about to be the first president in the history of the U.S. to declare Martial Law. This morning truly would be a new dawn in the world.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States of America,” said the press secretary.
He walked out in front of the cameras and took a deep breath. “I’m here tonight to speak to the people of America, and the people of the world. We have entered our darkest hour. In spite of all our preparations and defenses an enemy has covertly entered our country and we have suffered the same fate as all our allies, at this point in time, we share the same fate as the entire world.”
He felt his pulse quicken, his chest tighten. “I bear the unwelcome task of my office in this the countries dire circumstance.” He paused. “Ladies and Gentlemen, as of 07:00 this morning, I signed into action the National Emergencies & Disasters Act. This is in effect, marshal law. This action was necessary to preserve the integrity of our nation and to attempt to regain control of this country. For the duration the constitution of the United States has been set aside. I have appointed six regional governors, granted them law making rights as well as control of national guards as well as the military that will be assigned to their region once they are brought back from overseas. I have authorized them to use whatever means necessary to regain control of their regions. Immediately following this conference, the Regional Governor of your area will be broadcast giving a brief synopsis of the new procedures. “
President Young stood; looking directly into the cameras, drawing his face into what he hoped would be a strong and resolute look, “Citizens of America and the world. We’re going to beat this. When order and calm has been restored in each region of the country the traditional government as well as the Constitution will be reinstated into the place in our government they deserve. Until I have the opportunity to speak with you again, god be with you, god bless you and good luck, we will overcome this disease!”
Stepping down from the podium he walked away, tears stinging at his eyes. He looked up into the wings where he saw several military aides waiting to talk with him about the transition of power. He stepped to the cover of the wings as he saw one of the young officers step towards him. “What was he doing? Was all he had time to think before the officer jumped at him a snarl on his young face, biting into the presidents throat!
The young officer jerked his arms around the president, reaching into a side holster and opened fire into the now speeding Secret Service-men as they tried, too late, to protect the President.
President Young’s entwined with body of his attacker fell backwards out onto the podium; the press corp. flashing pictures screaming into phones and microphones, “The President’s Been Bitten!”
Standing up over the body of the President, the young officer with the name tag of Washington hissed at the assembled reporters and photographers.
Now that the assassin was clear of the President, Secret Servicemen opened fire, but in spite of their multiple hits, the officer started towards them, focused on death.
The last thought to flicker through the now dead President’s mind was “paradise? We’re in hell?”
His mind gone, the Presidents body rose and looked towards a young reporter for the New York Times. With a roar he leapt from the podium into the crowd biting and lashing at all those in front of him.
President Young stood to the side of the podium. He hated being in the bunker. The lack of air movement always made him feel constricted. Waiting to walk up to that podium in front of the press corp. and tell the people of his country that things were about to go from bad to worse was the last thing he wanted to do. He was about to be the first president in the history of the U.S. to declare Martial Law. This morning truly would be a new dawn in the world.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States of America,” said the press secretary.
He walked out in front of the cameras and took a deep breath. “I’m here tonight to speak to the people of America, and the people of the world. We have entered our darkest hour. In spite of all our preparations and defenses an enemy has covertly entered our country and we have suffered the same fate as all our allies, at this point in time, we share the same fate as the entire world.”
He felt his pulse quicken, his chest tighten. “I bear the unwelcome task of my office in this the countries dire circumstance.” He paused. “Ladies and Gentlemen, as of 07:00 this morning, I signed into action the National Emergencies & Disasters Act. This is in effect, marshal law. This action was necessary to preserve the integrity of our nation and to attempt to regain control of this country. For the duration the constitution of the United States has been set aside. I have appointed six regional governors, granted them law making rights as well as control of national guards as well as the military that will be assigned to their region once they are brought back from overseas. I have authorized them to use whatever means necessary to regain control of their regions. Immediately following this conference, the Regional Governor of your area will be broadcast giving a brief synopsis of the new procedures. “
President Young stood; looking directly into the cameras, drawing his face into what he hoped would be a strong and resolute look, “Citizens of America and the world. We’re going to beat this. When order and calm has been restored in each region of the country the traditional government as well as the Constitution will be reinstated into the place in our government they deserve. Until I have the opportunity to speak with you again, god be with you, god bless you and good luck, we will overcome this disease!”
Stepping down from the podium he walked away, tears stinging at his eyes. He looked up into the wings where he saw several military aides waiting to talk with him about the transition of power. He stepped to the cover of the wings as he saw one of the young officers step towards him. “What was he doing? Was all he had time to think before the officer jumped at him a snarl on his young face, biting into the presidents throat!
The young officer jerked his arms around the president, reaching into a side holster and opened fire into the now speeding Secret Service-men as they tried, too late, to protect the President.
President Young’s entwined with body of his attacker fell backwards out onto the podium; the press corp. flashing pictures screaming into phones and microphones, “The President’s Been Bitten!”
Standing up over the body of the President, the young officer with the name tag of Washington hissed at the assembled reporters and photographers.
Now that the assassin was clear of the President, Secret Servicemen opened fire, but in spite of their multiple hits, the officer started towards them, focused on death.
The last thought to flicker through the now dead President’s mind was “paradise? We’re in hell?”
His mind gone, the Presidents body rose and looked towards a young reporter for the New York Times. With a roar he leapt from the podium into the crowd biting and lashing at all those in front of him.
so your starting to go into the zombies mind set? ehhh i donno thats risky teritory int he zombie story game. there are too many sub sets of zombies to decide on any one midset to physical style. from the looks of things these zombies seem to have the Dawn Of The Dead Remake (head/spine shots required, vs 28 days later, enough damage rules) physical abilitys, witht he 28 Days later Mental capacitys. ( while no real specific comparasons, iv always felt the 28 days zombies had more "insane person" type mentality. vs DOD2's animal like instincts.)
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