A .22lr is better than nothing. Getting shot can be psychological as much as physical, and just displaying the gun can be effective. However, "great" for SD it's not. This is an unprofessional statement IMO.
The BHP recommendation is the more frustrating part for me. IMO, he had a BHP they could not move and was trying to just get it out of the case; something he'd joke about after the sale. Suggesting a BHP in this case as a first gun is unprofessional IMO.
Professionally, IMO, the salesman's job is to make the sale, BUT to also try and find a balance with what's best for the customer. This is good for business long-term IMO. And, this is good for gun owners as a whole as the more people who have a good experience as a gun owner the better.
Personally, I have a hard time stomaching these things; people being taken advantage of. I think our society has changed somewhat with our tolerance of it, and it varies by locale. What if he'd suggested 10mm? A .500 S&W? When does it become too much? When does it become okay or not okay to prey upon ignorance?
The discussion was about a self-defense gun, right? The women could be in because they'd just been assaulted or fear imminent assualt for good reason. Who knows. IMO, as it's a gun and not a pair of shoes (or the like), there is more responsibility on the salesman's part than to just the store. So, I do not see the salesperson as being a know-it-all, I see him as being unprofessional and irresponsible. As such, I would have likely (politely) suggested they also consider a .38 revolver if they'd not already and that my wife/girlfriend/daughter/whatever really liked hers as her first gun. Or, encourage them to visit a local range to try guns out. Or, if I did not know enough I may ask why they are considering a gun. It's how you say it, but, IMO, you can interject without be a jerk about it. And, I think there is a social responsibility to do so at times.