Guy beat up woman at my bus stop
- Thread starter V1K1NG0
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"I've also wondered why it took me so long to process everything. Is there anything I can do to speed that up?"
Best suggestion I have is to roll play it, and other situations, in your head. Think about how you would handle the situation. think it through repeatedly. Freezing is your mind's reaction to surprise. Condition your mind to the situation by thinking it through for next time.
John
Best suggestion I have is to roll play it, and other situations, in your head. Think about how you would handle the situation. think it through repeatedly. Freezing is your mind's reaction to surprise. Condition your mind to the situation by thinking it through for next time.
John
sojournerhome
Member
Good observations. I wonder myself how I would react to such situations. I have thought different scenarios through like some have suggested. I think you did well and at least you processed it through. Some at the bus stop probably didn't even go that far.
SSN Vet
Member
immigration status....
maybe carrying an illegal weapon...
maybe wanted on a warrant...
maybe has a bag of pot in his pocket...
maybe late for work and not wanting to get dragged into bureaucracy...
maybe the mayor, police chief or ministers son and not wanting to get into trouble w/ dad...
maybe fear of gang reprisal if named in paper....
I don't think this is the best thing to do, maybe the easiest way of getting by in life. I'm sorry, I don't see myself walking by and letting some guy beat a girl up in a bus stop because High Road said avoid all confrontations if your not at risk yourself. The fact is he did the "right thing" not the easy thing.
Happened to me! Taking short cut through City streets, in the UK, 1960s early AM Friday night, man slapping the lumps off a well dressed Woman in High Heels! at a Bus stop, I jumped out of my Van, one good solid punch to the right kidney, he went down, screaming (that must of hurt!) LADY? whips off a high heeled shoe, and tried to attack me, "Leave my husband alone" if she had not been so drunk she might have blinded me, she aimed for my face.
I had just finished work in a Night Club. Advice for this kind of situation, if you decide to get involved, punch or kick, do not grab, now you are anchored, and vulnerable in an attack.
He did what is right, didn't want any further trouble, questioning, possible lawsuits, so he left.
IMO, if he would have stayed, he would have had everything to lose and nothing to gain. The act was already done and the police were handling the situation.
Sounds like a Hero. Go Bikeman!
IMO, if he would have stayed, he would have had everything to lose and nothing to gain. The act was already done and the police were handling the situation.
Sounds like a Hero. Go Bikeman!
Interesting. 35 posters, and not one thought Bikeman should have obeyed the law and stayed at the scene of the crime. I'm not bashing anyone, as I would probably gracefully exit too. I just find it an interesting commentary on the current view of justice.
An odd example of "Discretion is the Better Part of Valor", a proverb that usually means "stay out of it in the first place".
An odd example of "Discretion is the Better Part of Valor", a proverb that usually means "stay out of it in the first place".
LongRider
Member
cgraham I think .38 Special post pretty much covers it
Bicycle man did the moral and just thing. Not the easy thing but the right thing none the less and knew in todays world he could easily be made out the bad guy. Maybe you remember Joe Horn he learned the hard way how painful doing the right thing can be
.38 Special said:
Bicycle man did the moral and just thing. Not the easy thing but the right thing none the less and knew in todays world he could easily be made out the bad guy. Maybe you remember Joe Horn he learned the hard way how painful doing the right thing can be
Fred Fuller
Moderator Emeritus
Granted, there were two questions posed in the OP:
The guy on the bicycle handled the aggresor but why did he take off I wonder.
What can be done to improve my situational awareness/processing of situations like this???
Of the two, the second is far more relevant to the overall purpose of S&T. Please, let us leave go of speculation about the bicyclist at this point, and concentrate more on Question Two...
lpl
The guy on the bicycle handled the aggresor but why did he take off I wonder.
What can be done to improve my situational awareness/processing of situations like this???
Of the two, the second is far more relevant to the overall purpose of S&T. Please, let us leave go of speculation about the bicyclist at this point, and concentrate more on Question Two...
lpl
brighamr
Member
I say:
good job for the bicyclist
the woman needs to learn about self defense
As for your question: What can be done to improve my situational awareness/processing of situations like this???
It's hard to process situations like this, especially when you're going about your normal day to day routine. Only thing I can think of to suggest: practice situations in your mind and how you want to handle them. This wont always make you ready for the situation, but it can help.
For me, i constantly play the scenario "what if someone breaks into my home while I'm asleep". I'll never know how it plays out until (if) it happens, but at least I've done a few things to make the scenario better than if I had never thought of it in the first place (ie. home security measures, locking all perimeter doors and the bedroom door, etc. etc)
good job for the bicyclist
the woman needs to learn about self defense
As for your question: What can be done to improve my situational awareness/processing of situations like this???
It's hard to process situations like this, especially when you're going about your normal day to day routine. Only thing I can think of to suggest: practice situations in your mind and how you want to handle them. This wont always make you ready for the situation, but it can help.
For me, i constantly play the scenario "what if someone breaks into my home while I'm asleep". I'll never know how it plays out until (if) it happens, but at least I've done a few things to make the scenario better than if I had never thought of it in the first place (ie. home security measures, locking all perimeter doors and the bedroom door, etc. etc)
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Funderb
Member
+12446576043456789087654323456789
Never ever get involved in another's domestic dispute.
jsconnelly
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- 68
To add to what brighamr said...Play games while in condition yellow. Here are a few little games I play with my mind while doing everyday things:
- I force myself to notice things I normally give no consideration to. Orange flowers, Oak tree behind a house, bug on the sidewalk...quickly mentally calling it out in my mind.
- Listen to noises in the distance and identify.
- I study people I come across for unique features or clothing (without being creepy, of course). I try and take mental pictures of faces and recall them later. I try to do this quickly. In a split second, pick out something about the person that may help ID them later.
- When I walk into a store, I visualize myself, the people around me and the space I am in. As I move around I update the image and relocate people. Map out the facility in my mind to include exits and places I could hide.
Some of these sound a little weird when written down but they make grocery shopping with the wife way more fun.
- I force myself to notice things I normally give no consideration to. Orange flowers, Oak tree behind a house, bug on the sidewalk...quickly mentally calling it out in my mind.
- Listen to noises in the distance and identify.
- I study people I come across for unique features or clothing (without being creepy, of course). I try and take mental pictures of faces and recall them later. I try to do this quickly. In a split second, pick out something about the person that may help ID them later.
- When I walk into a store, I visualize myself, the people around me and the space I am in. As I move around I update the image and relocate people. Map out the facility in my mind to include exits and places I could hide.
Some of these sound a little weird when written down but they make grocery shopping with the wife way more fun.
IllHunter
Member
I think I've told this before...
Years ago I was going to a wedding and was resplendent outfitted in black tie attire. I had dropped my wife at the Downtown Chicago hotel and drove around the block to park in my office lot. On the walk back to the hotel on Michigan Ave. I heard screams and a whoopng coming from the bus stop shelter in front of me. As I got closer I (it was night) could make out a man beating a woman. He was kneeling on the ground over her, she was crumpled in the corner of the shelter. I had taken my stun gun from the car to prevent it's theft but now was greatful to have it. I tapped him on the butt with my shoe and when he turned I lit the zapper 12 inches from his eyes. I gave him room to get up and told him to beat it. He stared at me blinking and trying, I guess to make sense of this tuxedoed white guy interfering with his endeavors. I faked toward him and he ran, never looking back. She got up and with saucer wide eyes boarded the bus that conveniently arrived. It provided me with a large dose of adrenaline to deal with through the wedding.Now I've added that scenario to my mind games in condition yellow.
Years ago I was going to a wedding and was resplendent outfitted in black tie attire. I had dropped my wife at the Downtown Chicago hotel and drove around the block to park in my office lot. On the walk back to the hotel on Michigan Ave. I heard screams and a whoopng coming from the bus stop shelter in front of me. As I got closer I (it was night) could make out a man beating a woman. He was kneeling on the ground over her, she was crumpled in the corner of the shelter. I had taken my stun gun from the car to prevent it's theft but now was greatful to have it. I tapped him on the butt with my shoe and when he turned I lit the zapper 12 inches from his eyes. I gave him room to get up and told him to beat it. He stared at me blinking and trying, I guess to make sense of this tuxedoed white guy interfering with his endeavors. I faked toward him and he ran, never looking back. She got up and with saucer wide eyes boarded the bus that conveniently arrived. It provided me with a large dose of adrenaline to deal with through the wedding.Now I've added that scenario to my mind games in condition yellow.
Ever since criminals have been able to file civil lawsuits against people standing up for others, it's been tricky navigating these waters, esp. when you consider you might be getting yourself into a gang-related or undercover cop situation. Best way, imo, is to simply dial 911 if you can, and only take physical action when it seems like the other person's life depends on it. Also, it'd be good to teach everyone about the Bystander effect (how people don't do anything when witnessing something bad going on) and how to guard against it.
Thank you for all of your responses. I will definately try and do as many of you suggested pertaining to situational awareness and training your brain to pick up on specific things while taking in everything at the same time.
Picked up a few more cans of Fox Labs chemical spray and bought me a few of those energizer energi to go contraptions to charge cell phones up when they are low.
Interesting info joop.
Once again thank you.
Picked up a few more cans of Fox Labs chemical spray and bought me a few of those energizer energi to go contraptions to charge cell phones up when they are low.
Interesting info joop.
Once again thank you.
Tribal
Member
As people have brought up, when to intervene is a hard call.
I'm in the UK for the summer and was visiting a city on the other side of England from where I'm staying. As I was walking along at maybe 10PM with two girls and I guy I knew, we passed by a scruffy-tough looking woman with a Rottweiler (not on a leash). The dog's sniffing at something and the woman wants it to move, so she give it a light smack on the rear and tells it to move, which it does. At that moment, another scruffy-tough looking guy yells "Oi! I saw you hit that dog!" and pushes her hard enough that we hear her head hit the glass of a shop window. He doesn't hit her again, but drunkenly yells at her as she sidles her way away from him and then saunters away, muttering under her breath. Having heard the noise but not seen the push, I asked my friends if the guy had just hit the girl and the two girls made it very clear that they wanted to get away from the situation. For the rest of the weekend, we'd often see the woman and the dog just walking around town or lounging in the middle of a tourist area.
Now, on the one hand, a guy just hit a girl, and that's not right. At the same time, he only pushed her the one time and wasn't continuing to physically threaten her. Also, I was a visitor to a foreign city: these two probably live there and would see each other again. Even if I'd been able to intervene (and the guy was significantly bigger than I am, and I'm of decent size), he might have taken it out on her later.
So where's the line? Are there things you just have to let pass, even when you know a wrong has been done, because you're not equipped to do much about it?
I'm in the UK for the summer and was visiting a city on the other side of England from where I'm staying. As I was walking along at maybe 10PM with two girls and I guy I knew, we passed by a scruffy-tough looking woman with a Rottweiler (not on a leash). The dog's sniffing at something and the woman wants it to move, so she give it a light smack on the rear and tells it to move, which it does. At that moment, another scruffy-tough looking guy yells "Oi! I saw you hit that dog!" and pushes her hard enough that we hear her head hit the glass of a shop window. He doesn't hit her again, but drunkenly yells at her as she sidles her way away from him and then saunters away, muttering under her breath. Having heard the noise but not seen the push, I asked my friends if the guy had just hit the girl and the two girls made it very clear that they wanted to get away from the situation. For the rest of the weekend, we'd often see the woman and the dog just walking around town or lounging in the middle of a tourist area.
Now, on the one hand, a guy just hit a girl, and that's not right. At the same time, he only pushed her the one time and wasn't continuing to physically threaten her. Also, I was a visitor to a foreign city: these two probably live there and would see each other again. Even if I'd been able to intervene (and the guy was significantly bigger than I am, and I'm of decent size), he might have taken it out on her later.
So where's the line? Are there things you just have to let pass, even when you know a wrong has been done, because you're not equipped to do much about it?
memphisjim
Member
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in memphis you probably woundnt get in any trouble for beating a guy who hit a girl
Fred Fuller
Moderator Emeritus
What can be done to improve my situational awareness/processing of situations like this???
V1K1NG0,
Take a look at the June 9, 2008 issue of Time (v.171 #23, pp. 40- 45). There you will find an article by Amanda Ripley, titled "How To Survive A Disaster." Ms. Ripley seems to be the darling du jour of the mainstream media where disasters, emergencies etc. are concerned. One reason for that could be that Ms. Riply is just a bit what you might call anti-gun, but we won't go there, here. We've discussed her briefly in S&T already. Basically, use what's useful no matter where you find it, and ignore what isn't useful.
Her blog is at http://www.amandaripley.com/ , the article that appeared in Time is mentioned there but not reproduced. There is an electronic version of the article at http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1810315-1,00.html . I suggest reading it might help you some, especially the 'five tips' sidebar that apparently only appears in the print version of the article. The last tip in the list is 'get training.'
Training helps. It forces you to deal with situations you might not have ever thought of, and it teaches you to think in patterns you might not have eve come up with on your own. For example, lesson #1 in my EMS class many years ago still sticks with me, and I haven't held a current EMT (emergency medical technician) license for a good many years. Lesson #1 was, "Don't become part of the problem." You drive the ambulance too fast, you'll have an accident- and become part of the problem. You don't watch where you're going in your haste to do something on the scene, and you get hurt- then you're part of the problem. And so on. There is a ton of advice all boiled down into that one simple sentence- take your time, think, be careful etc.
So get yourself some training. Join your local volunteer fire department. Take an EMT Basic class, or a Red Cross first aid class, or CPR training. These are things that make you think about your world in different ways, and prepare to deal with things that happen in the real world.
Good training with firearms is always worth while, but it isn't enough by itself. The world is full of problems, and most of them cannot be solved by an application of gunfire. So broaden your scope a bit, in order to be able to handle some of those other problems. It might surprise you how much it will help in other ways when the chips are down.
Do the work,
lpl
V1K1NG0,
Take a look at the June 9, 2008 issue of Time (v.171 #23, pp. 40- 45). There you will find an article by Amanda Ripley, titled "How To Survive A Disaster." Ms. Ripley seems to be the darling du jour of the mainstream media where disasters, emergencies etc. are concerned. One reason for that could be that Ms. Riply is just a bit what you might call anti-gun, but we won't go there, here. We've discussed her briefly in S&T already. Basically, use what's useful no matter where you find it, and ignore what isn't useful.
Her blog is at http://www.amandaripley.com/ , the article that appeared in Time is mentioned there but not reproduced. There is an electronic version of the article at http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1810315-1,00.html . I suggest reading it might help you some, especially the 'five tips' sidebar that apparently only appears in the print version of the article. The last tip in the list is 'get training.'
Training helps. It forces you to deal with situations you might not have ever thought of, and it teaches you to think in patterns you might not have eve come up with on your own. For example, lesson #1 in my EMS class many years ago still sticks with me, and I haven't held a current EMT (emergency medical technician) license for a good many years. Lesson #1 was, "Don't become part of the problem." You drive the ambulance too fast, you'll have an accident- and become part of the problem. You don't watch where you're going in your haste to do something on the scene, and you get hurt- then you're part of the problem. And so on. There is a ton of advice all boiled down into that one simple sentence- take your time, think, be careful etc.
So get yourself some training. Join your local volunteer fire department. Take an EMT Basic class, or a Red Cross first aid class, or CPR training. These are things that make you think about your world in different ways, and prepare to deal with things that happen in the real world.
Good training with firearms is always worth while, but it isn't enough by itself. The world is full of problems, and most of them cannot be solved by an application of gunfire. So broaden your scope a bit, in order to be able to handle some of those other problems. It might surprise you how much it will help in other ways when the chips are down.
Do the work,
lpl
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