A couple of women in my community asked me about having a gun for protection, they live alone. (neither had any experience at all with firearms)
I had them over and spent the first 45 minutes on safety, proper handling and storage. One was fine with my P365, the other couldn't rack the slide on
the P365 or even my tiny KelTec .32, I've suggested a .38 Spl revolver for her. She asked about a shotgun because she was able to use the slide without difficulty, however, I explained the recoil may be a problem for her. I suggested she go to a range and take an introductory course and try both a revolver and perhaps the S&W MP EZ. Thoughts?
I used to delve into this quite a bit, but over the years I've noticed an aggravating issue. Namely that many of these people tend to treat a firearm as the be-all in and of itself without any actual investment of time and effort on their own part. "I want a firearm for protection" becomes "I have a firearm, I'm done now."
HAVING a firearm is only the start. LEARNING HOW TO USE the firearm is a process that begins and ends with the user. Without a personal dedication towards learning on the part of the user, all a firearm will end up being is an expensive paperweight in a drawer somewhere.
Most of us have a tendency to focus on what I'll call the "technical" aspects of firearms. Things like size, fit, caliber, ease of operation, recoil, concealability, function, safety, etc.
And all of that stuff IS important, don't get me wrong. Vitally important, in fact.
But to a novice, and as a rule female novices, "technical" rapidly becomes "boring". (No slight to women here...I'm speaking in generalities with the understanding that there's a full spectrum with both sexes on interest levels on every subject under the sun. As a rule, there are fewer women involved in shooting sports and fewer women interested in defensive use of firearms when compared to men.)
I see this with Cub Scouts all the time (and that includes both boys and girls) as a Rangemaster teaching them how to shoot BB guns. My goal is to get them past the "boring" part to the "fun" part as quickly as I safely can, or I lose their interest...potentially for years to come.
So my approach for
any novice to the concept of a firearm for protection, and especially for women, is to start off the conversation on what THEY think about the subject and go from there.
Find out what's important to them and why.
From there, using some of my own firearms, I cover the basics on safety and function. In general, it doesn't matter what the firearm is...just don't be stupid about it. There's a big difference between a large frame 9mm like a full sized 9mm Beretta 92SF shooting 115 gr. factory loads and a S&W .500 Magnum shooting 440 gr. hot loads. A full sized 9mm may not fit their grip well and feel a bit unwieldy, but shooting it isn't going to be a potentially dangerous, traumatic event.
Then it's range time. And at the range I have two rules (beyond safety, of course):
1. The novice shooter WILL be able to put holes in the target. Distance and size of the target will be adjusted to ensure this, because few things are more frustrating, embarrassing, of self-destructive to ego and personal drive for a novice than not being able to hit what they're shooting at.
2. Shooting WILL be fun. If it's fun, they're interested and focused. If it's not fun, it's a chore, it's painful, it's something they don't want to do.
It doesn't matter if they can't rack the slide on the gun without help. They're having fun.
It doesn't matter if the gun they're using is heavier than they'd like. They're having fun.
It doesn't matter if the gun they're shooting doesn't fit their grip all that well. They're having fun.
Once it becomes "fun", there's now more of a desire to learn the technical parts that would otherwise be "boring". At this point, systematically feed them the technical stuff bit by bit and allow them the fun range time to put it into practice themselves.
Potentially scary "mystery" fades into the background and exciting wonder starts to replace it.
While doing this, they are more likely to discover a variety of things about themselves that they didn't realize before. Some will discover they're stronger than they thought and things they had difficulty with before will be easier than they realized. Some will discover that the work they put into these fun activities will actually give them the strength and techniques to overcome prior limitations, which engenders a sense of achievement. The possibilities are boundless.
The hunt for a firearm they like that fits their needs, desires, and physical limitations simply becomes part of this process at that point. Something THEY had an active part in choosing for themselves instead of someone like me telling them "what's best for them". We facilitate this by working on the basics, what's important, discussions of personal preferences, pros and cons, etc. They explore a range of options themselves and use their new found knowledge and experience to make a choice for themselves.
Eventually they have a firearm of their own that they have a vested interest in. It's far less likely to be a dusty paperweight sitting on a pile of papers in a drawer somewhere.