I Miss Iraq. I Miss My Gun. I Miss My War.

[AndyC]

I could stalk well and liked to hunt before I went to Iraq. When I came back I would just watch deer walk by and pass up easy shots I would have taken in the past.

Funny you mention that - I went dove-hunting during the opening weekend of the season with my brother-in-law (he posts here too, sometimes) up near Marietta, TX and didn't take a single shot. I didn't feel like killing anything, but enjoyed myself thoroughly just being out there.

Perhaps one night I'll get drunk and perform some self-analysis on this subject

 

[Speer]

There are also very strong elements of PTSD in his writing.

Definitely. A chilling, disturbing read.

 

[ZeSpectre]

Definitely. A chilling, disturbing read.

But again, we must recognize the positive signs here especially that the author...
-recognizes the difference between the sandbox and civilian life.
-recognizes that some of his "yardsticks" for measuring behavior have been altered by combat experience.
-recognizes that he might need to talk to others to help "reset" those yardsticks back to their civilian parameters.
-and is willing to be forthcoming about how far his perception of things has been altered (in spite of the reactions he may get... see some posts here for examples).

The author has already admitted that combat has caused him to distance himself from other human beings (a mild form of sociopathy common to those who have experienced combat) If the author gets castigated from the start it is likely that he'd just clam up and withdraw further into those feelings of dissassociation. Well then the only measure he has for his behavior is what he has internally to go by. That's like having a drunk decide for himself if he's sober enough to drive, it doesn't work. I've seen enough other vets to know how bad that road can get. Re-integrating a soldier (especially a combat vet) back into civilian life is an UGLY job and I won't deny that but it can be done and it HAS to be done.

Problems can only be addressed if everyone is willing to understand that there IS a problem AND are willing to find out the full extent of the problem without shying away or battering the person in trouble.

 

[Speer]

Agreed.

 

[Thin Black Line]

I didn't feel like killing anything, but enjoyed myself thoroughly just being out there.

Yeah, I do too. I still do a lot of shooting, but the only thing I prefer to cut
is paper. Don't get me wrong --someone tries to do something to my family
and there would be no hesitation. I have a similar self-defense view on
the "big picture" now when it comes to nations. Life is just to short.

I would have liked to see more in the original article about the writer's view on
spirituality and how this all fits together for him.

Perhaps one night I'll get drunk and perform some self-analysis on this subject

and

That's like having a drunk decide for himself if he's sober enough to drive, it doesn't work.

Beyond a single stout, I'm a melancholic drunk and the only time you would
see a lamp shade on my head was if I or someone else broke the lamp in the
first place. But, yeah, we all know vets who have problems after the
first beer (can't have just one) and things fall apart from there. The cigarette
smoking also triples.

 

[19-3Ben]

Perfect song for this

And now that you have read that essay, you need to go listen to the song
"I Just Came Back From A War"- by Darryl Worley

He's a man who has been over to perform for our troops, and has supported them more than just about anybody else. He knows.

Here are the lyrics:

"I Just Came Back (From A War)"- Darryl Worley
First thing I did when that plane finally landed was kiss the ground;
The next thing I did was to go find my friends down at the old hang-out.
We drank some beer and talked a lot about old times
But when the booze finally hit Billy Joe Grimes
He said, "I don't know what it is but you seem different to me."


I said, "I just came back from a place where they hated me and everything I stand for;
A land where our brothers are dying for others who don't even care any more.
If I'm not exactly the same good old boy that you ran around with before,
I just came back from a war.

The very next morning I took a walk through the neighboorhood.
I thought it's been so long since Ive been in a place where everything is good;
People laughin' and children were playing,
And as I watched them I found myself praying,
"Lord, keep them safe here at home in the land of the free"

'Cause I just came back from a place where they hated me and everything I stand for;
A land where our brothers are dying for others who don't even care any more.
If I'm not the same little freckled-faced boy that grew up in that house next door,
I just came back from a war.

I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.

I just came back from a place where they hated me and everything I stand for;
A land where our brothers are dying for others who don't even care any more.
Chances are I never will be the same, I really don't know any more,
I just came back from a war

I just came back from a war.
You don't know me, you don't know me...
I just came back from a war.
You don't know me, you don't know me...

 

[Davo]

A very powerful piece, thanks for posting it.

 

[Art Eatman]

And I miss my THR-related subject material.

Woulda been really great for APS.

Art