Problem with the neighbor

[DragonFire]

Since we moved into our new house in 2000, I've had exactly one conversation with the neighbor across the street. Well, not exactly a conversation, it was two or three minutes of him yelling, screaming and cursing at me, because my dog ran into his yard. I simply walked away without saying anything to him. (I had been prepared to appologize since my dog shouldn't have been over there.)

Since then, he's shot fireworks over my house on almost every summer weekend, pumped out his flooded basement into my front lawn every spring, and occassionally sat on his front porch staring at my wife and I gardening.

The neighbor next to him, who were are very close friends with installed a spite fence between their properties because he would sit outside and call her foul names as she mowed her lawn.

Anyway, last night I was trimming around my trees in my front lawn when I came across some garbage thrown on my lawn (a plastic cup thrown from a passing car). I kicked the cup a couple of feet to the side of the road. Well I didn't take three steps before the neighbor is standing on his side of the road yelling and screaming at me again. Basically he was saying that I had nerve throwing stuff into his yard!

Again I just ignored him, and finished my trimming. I came across an old beer can , and kicked it to the side of the road, just to be a PITA.

When I went back around the front yard again, I notice the cup and can had been thrown into the middle of my lawn. When I picked them up, there he was again, yelling and screaming how I had to finally throw them away. (he had walked to edge of his property several times, and actually picked up the garbage, but I'm the lazy moron for not throwing them away?)

I called the sheriff. Besides the fact that I didn't want me kids to hear the foul words coming out of his mouth, I figure if he's going to yell and curse at me over garbage, whatelse is he going to yell at me for. Sheriff came rather quickly for such a minor problem. I told her what happen, and said that I just wanted him to leave us alone, to totally ignore us. She seemed to understand why I was upset, and said she'd do what she could. At this point, basically she could only talk to him, which is all I really wanted I guess. She also said that she'd tell him that if he did the same thing while the kids were around, she'd do more than talk (I forget the charge, something about endangering minors).

When she left my house to go talk to him, I went and put my j-frame into my pocket, figuring I might get a visit from him when she left his house. He likes to have a "biker" image, but realistically I think that's not really him, and he's getting too old and out of shape to be very physical (though his twenty-something son does live with him). My wife thinks that I'm being a bit parnoid, but also thinks that things will just get worse with him.

My intent is to just ignore him as best I can (like I told the sheriff I would), but I'm also going to carry a bit more often around the yard just in case.

I'm not looking for revenge or anything, but any suggestions on what I should do, or should have done?

 

[Derek Zeanah]

any suggestions on what I should do, or should have done?

Buy yourself a few acres in the country?

 

[boofus]

Keep calling authorities so you can have a paper trail in your favor if you ever have to smoke him.

 

[moredes]

You're gettin' ready to "defend yourself" and mebbe kill a guy, over a plastic cup and an empty beer can???

You've had one exchange with this guy in 5 years, and decide over a plastic cup, to be a pain in the @ss (your words) and stir it up even more with a beer can.... what is it you want from us?

Sure, this guy is annoying, but he ain't done except holler and rant. Water in your yard? are you downhill, or is he piping the hose uphill into your yard? Fireworks, call the cops; film it. Staring at you and your wife for 5 years--sure sounds like a threat to me... and you thought it all "actionable" as little as I did, until *you* stirred it up.

 

[A Cleaner]

What's the saying? Good fences make good neighbors? This neighbor sounds like he leads a very mundane and bitter life if he always has the time to angrily concern himself with other people's behavior. In your case, I would definitely carry 24/7. He has already displayed his tendency to ignore social mores and seems to lack a general respect for his fellow man. In addition, he sounds like he's a little obsessive (can't let things go, stares at you two when you're gardening, etc).

Kudos to you for keeping your cool. You put your family's safety first by not trying to do the "man dance" with this knucklehead. Also, good move to report it so you have a precedent if, heaven forbid, anything further should happen.

I have been in shoes similar to yours. It's a real pickle and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. You sound like you did all the right things, though. Way to take the High Road. Again, if I was you, that j-frame would be an appendage (in the john, near the shower wrapped in a towel, on the nightstand).

Good luck.

 

[Missashot]

So far sounds like you have done the right thing by ignoring him. He sounds like a real pain in the @$$.
If I were you, I would put up a fence if you don't already have one.That way there won't be any more problems with the dog. No need to add fuel to the fire.
If you have a place to keep a gun concealed near a door, that would not be a bad idea. Just have to make sure it is out of reach from the kids and that sort of thing.We have 2 out for home protection.We will have to secure them a little better as our daughter gets older.(she's 6 mos now.)
I know how you feel. I don't like our neighbors either, but luckily there have been no real problems, just my husband telling their teenage kid to quit running through our yard and bringing her friends through it. Guess it is a good thing that I haven't lost my temper and unloaded on them. Sometimes I am a little less than diplomatic.
Guess I just don't like 'em. White trash with sluts for kids.
Good luck with your problem.

 

[A Cleaner]

Ok, maybe not everything you did was right. I forgot about the beer can kicking to be a PITA. That might be likened to hornet teasing.

 

[DragonFire]

I have 13 acres in the country and it borders on HIS 2 acres.

The beer can was done in anger, and it was him yelling and cursing over the cup and beer can. And no I wasn't prepared to kill over them. I was prepared to defend myself if he and/or his son decided they weren't going to let it drop.

I guess I should have appologized to him for not doing exactly what he wanted me to on MY property exactly when he wanted me to.

So ignore this thread, go back to answering threads about "real" problems like finally figuring what the best backup-gun is to carry to defend against the mall ninjas.

 

[Baba Louie]

Plan a neighborhood block party BBQ type thing. Invite everyone, including Mr. Grump and son with the intent of placating, partying, getting everyone in a positive mode. Judge his actions at that time.

Keep turning the other cheek... but keep the little j-frame handy.

Oh yeah, ya gotta pick up the trash and dispose of it now and then (Not that I'm implying your neighbor is trash or anything... far from it. Probably just frustrated and lonely living there harboring hidden hostilities with his son and all)

ORRRR

You could build a good fence yourself. Something about good fences... good neighbors, that sorta thing.

 

[moredes]

Hey,

From your second post, my gut says ya deserve each other. I wouldn't want either of you for a neighbor.

 

[Don Gwinn]

Dragonfire, might as well ease up a little. No enemies here. But you asked what you should do about this, and you got your answer: the first thing you should do is stop egging him on and intentionally escalating things. That is very good advice, by the way.

Now, we're not going to try to force you to do what we say, but if you ask our advice you've got no call to get mad when people give it. Did you want advice or did you want to be told exactly what you'd like to hear, regardless of the truth.

At this point, you're straddling the line between "not making peace" and "picking a fight." That's not where you want to be.

 

[RevDisk]

Fence seems like a good suggestion. If a fence is unpractical for whatever reason, how about a line of trees well within your side of the property line? They look pretty and they block the view.

Don't encourage him in the future. Yea, he vastly over-reacted to your beer can kicking, but it's still not a good idea. How much benefit do you get compared to how much aggrevation?

Paper trail is always a good thing. If it's not on paper, it never existed.


That said, keep a nice pistol handy just in case. Think of it as cheap health insurance.

 

[CentralTexas]

You are entitled to be left alone

and not annoyed. This is bull, call the cops all the time for being harrassed in your front yard? If you don't feel like ignoring it there isn't anything you can do that is except for "hope" for an accidental electrical fire when they aren't home.
CT

 

[MAUSER88]

Your neighbor sounds like a real POS. My nightmare is buying 13 acres in the country and getting stuck with this POS for a neighbor.
Sadly the only advise I can offer is to continue ignoring this creep.

 

[Brrlgrrl]

The neighbor next to him, who were are very close friends with installed a spite fence between their properties because he would sit outside and call her foul names as she mowed her lawn.

What is a "spite" fence?

 

[taliv]

i think you guys are being a bit harsh. i don't think he did anything unreasonable. he kicked the garbage out of his yard to the street. it's not like he kicked it into his neighbor's yard.

being nice and ignoring the neighbor is the best thing you can do.

if you want to taunt him, buy a custom harley and park it in your front yard

 

[rangerbill]

my experienced suggestion...

i have 9 neighbors bordering my one acre. i have had a run in or two with a couple of them.

first the fence, had i not had the fence i would have been over run. get thyself a fence.

when i had my problem with the neighbors across the cul-de-sac, i bought enough leland cypress to blanket the front line. now i don't see them and a good plus is burglars shopping for a hit can't size up my place.

i now have bamboo growing and spreading around all other property lines, its evergreen and spreads and grow quickly. soon i hope if a neighbor wishes to pester me he'll have ta mail a letter.

i had dreamed myself of having 10-15 acres in the country, but stories like yours abound. some one will always try to mess with you. so i choose to make my stand here hidden in my forest.

just my suggestion

 

[2nd Amendment]

moredes -

Kicking the beer can is antagonizing? Here's something to consider: If he had not specifically said he did it to be a PITA what would be said then? I always kick the crap at the front of my property out to the curb. It's not mine and I specifically moved into the country to NOT have to deal with crap, whether people or their debris. Anyway, that's not antagonism. Think about what you are saying. Kicking a can in his own yard to the curb is antagonizing the other guy because oh gee whiz, the madman across the street doesn't like it. Feh. What he's thinking at that moment does not justify the idiot in any way.

OTOH you're lucky, Dragon. You merely have an idiot to deal with. I have a convicted murderer living on the backside of my place. Did I mention he's HIV positive? Wanna trade?

 

[DragonFire]

The neighbor is directly across the road and there are a group of trees blocking the line of sight from his yard to my door, but with almost 100 yards of road frontage, it would take quite a few trees (and a good number of years) to block him off completely.

His side of the road is slighly higher than mine, so what he's doing it piping it to the very edge of his property (which is technically legal) and it just all runs to my yard.

the first thing you should do is stop egging him on and intentionally escalating things.

and mebbe kill a guy, over a plastic cup

Neither the beer can or the paper cup were more than 6 inches from my lawn, and I'd barely even consider them on "the side of the road". If I prevoked him into yelling at me for not picking up two pieces of trash from my yard, I just don't see it.

While I admit that I didn't help things, I certainly didn't start this with him, and I took offense to the way Moredes made it seem like I was the aggressor in this. Doesn't it seem strange that the only times he "talks" to me is to yell and curse?


What did I want from this thread? No, not to just hear I did everything right. I admitted I didn't.

But I saw my only options as:

1)Go back to doing nothing, letting him continue to shoot gargabe into my yard (the remains of the bottle rockets), letting him continue to flood my yard, and generally do whatever he wanted no matter how it inconvienced me.

2)start calling the cops every time he did something. That's not the kind of neighbor I want to be. Most of the time what he does, doesn't really bother me, but I've had to clean my lawn three Sundays in a row because he wanted to celebrate. I don't really think calling the cops all the time would change much, even if I did become that kind of person

3)Start recording every little thing he did that bothered me. But then what? I'm back to doing nothing or calling the cops.

At one point I did consider the BBQ idea, but I doubt he'd come over, and I don't want to be friends with the guy, I just want him to stop. And for several reasons I don't want to seen as backing down in front of the guy.

I hoped that the members could come up with other options. The idea of a fence (though not practical) is along the line of ideas I was hoping to get.

 

[DragonFire]

What is a "spite" fence?

Maybe I spelled it wrong, but it's a fence you put up just to "spite" your neighbor. It's usually big, high, and not overly attractive.



2nd Amendment: Another neighbor has been accused of being a child-molster. He must not have been convicted of it since he's not registered. I've checked various databases for his name, which is a relatively common one, but can't find anything conclusive. I've got two young daughters. So while I don't want to exchange neighbors with you, I do know a little of what you're living with.

Since I have no proof of his actions other than rumors, I've decided to give him the benefit of the doubt (while still keeping my girls away from him). He's actually a friendly, quiet guy, who stays mostly to himself (is that a goog thing, or something a molser would do?) . Can't say we're friends, but we wave at each while mowing our lawns, and have had a few chats now and then.

 

[Baba Louie]

The idea of a fence (though not practical) is along the line of ideas I was hoping to get.

How expensive is concertina razor ribbon wire anyway?
http://www.razorribbon.com/
Maybe a used searchlight or two for night-time security along your common property line?
http://skytrackersearchlights.com/pre-owned.htm
(They can also be used to let your neighbors know where the BBQ is being held)
Maybe buy a swine or two and keep them penned such that the olfactorious offings head his way? (They're for next years BBQ doncha know?) Unless the city/county regulation don't allow swine (they tend to be a bit smelly I fear)


Re: Bottle rockets
Large ones or small ones? Legal in your local fire dept's jurisdiction or no? Any possibility of your property burning as a result of his actions? Has Fire Dept been notified of this nuisance? Has your attorney? Has your homeowner's insurance agent been notified? Has his?
Even the small bottle rockets can cause horrendous damage...
http://www.smfd.ca.gov/pr070503.htm

That's has potential for some serious action on your part, I'd think. How far away is the local Fire Dept's nearest truck? Response time?
I's do something about that ASAP... myself.

So even tho' I try to keep it all lighthearted, there is a large degree of serious damage "potential" and if my children stand the risk of watching their home burn, or any damage to them results... I'd get proactive in that regard...

YMMV

 

[HankB]

If a neighbor habitually screams obscenities at you, I'd say a video camera can be your friend. ESPECIALLY if threats are made.

Ditto if he's draining water into your yard.

Years ago, you used to be able to get a "peace bond" order against someone who harassed you - I'd look into this avenue if it's available in your area.

But by all means, keep calling the cops, and don't let them see you're angry - present yourself as a worried, honest, peaceful homeowner. Remember, you're generating a paper trail . . . that may ultimately be used in court.

 

[Frandy]

At one point I did consider the BBQ idea, but I doubt he'd come over, and I don't want to be friends with the guy, I just want him to stop. And for several reasons I don't want to seen as backing down in front of the guy.

That's not backing down. That's strategic.

Frandy

 

[Wayne D]

I'd say a video camera can be your friend. ESPECIALLY if threats are made.

I agree. If the talk by the Sheriff doesn't help then I would try to catch him on tape.

 

[moredes]

2nd A. and Dragon,

You're both missing my point. I stipulate that this neighbor is an idiot and a pain in the ass. Excepting the fireworks practice, ALL the rest of his conduct is both inconsequential and harmless, albeit a minor 'annoyance'. He's been carrying on for 5 years; it's all bluster, and Dragon Fire knows it. or at least, thought so little of it for 5 years, he ignored it. What harm does it do to ignore a neighbor forever over something like this?

Attitude in kicking the can has nothing to do with my stand. However, I pointed out by his own admittance, Dragon stirred the sh!. To quote 2ndA,

What he's thinking at that moment does not justify the idiot in any way.

My Italics, but it's your quote, and I agree. Kicking the can anywhere is idiocy. For those with a very possessive sense of ownership, properties neatly kept in an urban setting can be a real aggravation to maintain, especially when the owner knows the source of the problem--or have that "that's not mine" attitude. There are jerks who constantly litter thoughtlessly, deliberately, and maliciously and leave destruction, annoyance, and 'unsightliness' in their wake, and on 'our' (in a grammatical sense, the collective "our") properties. I lived in Oakland, CA for 9 years, believe me when I say I know a scumbucket when I see one, having lived next to, and among several in the immediate 150-yard radius. Just keeping a garden hose as a possession was a task; they were constantly stolen, most likely to turn up in flea markets, along with our potted plants, cut flowers (we hardly got a chance to see our own flowers bloom before someone would come by in the night and cut them). Drug dealers (Felix Mitchell [google him]) working out of a house 3 blocks away--it's amazing how pronounced an impact a drughouse can have 3 blocks from home--six incidents of auto-parts theft, one stolen car, all from in front of the house; drunks and dopers carrying on at all hours, 3 neighborhood killings--THAT'S a situation I'd deem a PITA.

DragonFire has 13 acres to contend with; before he mows the lawn he's gotta patrol the grounds for tree limbs. One plastic cup and an empty can ain't no more inconvenience than the rest. He doesn't have a lawn you say? Does he do any maintenance in the area by hand? (surely he must; how else did he trim the trees?) Mightn't these two annoying pieces of trash be included with all the other organic garbage without a second thought, or should we blow this up into something worthy of defending ourselves, and I quote DF here--"if he and/or his son decided they weren't going to let it drop" ?

DF's got an easy gig....13 acres and a minor 'skin irritation' of a neighbor... this is not the big bad"PAIN IN THE @SS neighbor" drug-dealer, child molester, murderer, or crack whore, that can threaten his world. Grow up and get over it. Your neighbor's a big bag of air whose short a full deck; and your behaviour resembles his.