Should a suicide gun stay in the family?

[zxcvbob]

I would think that anyone calling for a gun to be destroyed wouldn't know the difference between an Hi-Power or Beretta and a 1911. A gun is a gun to that type of person.

Good point. So go with the revolver for now.

 

[Mike1234567]

No one is "blaming the gun" nor is anyone attaching any kind of supersticious mumbo jumbo to it. Some, including myself, are connecting a horrific event with an object and many people would rather rid themselves of said object. Why is the object so important that one would rather keep it even though the very thought of it causes our own family pain? I say put your family first.

 

[Aguila Blanca]

]Background:

A troubled man deliberately kills himself with his Colt 1911. Some years later, the deceased's father gives the gun to a nephew, who is a younger cousin of the suicide victim. The uncle (again, he's the father of the suicide victim) expresses a desire to his nephew that the gun stay in the family. But the deceased's mother wants the gun "gone," and the deceased's sister wants the gun destroyed.

The younger cousin who now has the 1911 wants to keep the gun, and is thinking of having it refinished (the pistol still has organic residue on it from the suicide). Further, the cousin who received the 1911 wants to shoot it as a tribute to his late older cousin, with whom he shared many good times and has many great memories. Plus, the younger cousin wants (someday) to start enjoying the suicide gun with his own son.

Mr. Doughnut did not provide an accurate accounting of the background. This topic arose on the M1911.ORG forum. Mr. Doughnut took a position that was not supported by most of the members who commented. He made an unacceptably over-the-top post that was removed by the moderators, submitted an apology with a promise that such behavior would not be repeated, and ten days later made a repeat performance.

What he left out of his background was the part about how the man who used the gun to commit suicide loved the gun. In fact, the man went through some hard times and the gun was the ONE thing he loved and valued. And that is why the father of the suicide asked specifically that the gun be kept in the family.

Secondly, it is an exaggeration to claim that there is "organic residue" on the slide. The man who now owns the gun said there are "spots" on the slide, but that he has cleaned it. The spots are probably rust and perhaps pitting, which could be expected from blood spots, but it was NOT stated that there is "organic residue."

Thirdly, Mr. Doughnut is butting in where he wasn't invited. The question posed on the M191.ORG forum was not "Should I keep the gun or dispose of it?" The question asked was "Should I leave the gun as it is or should I have it refinished?" It is made clear by the original poster in the discussion that destroying or disposing of the gun is not on the table. That makes it puzzling why Mr. Doughnut has made it his personal crusade to tell someone else to do exactly what he has already said is not under consideration.

Here's the question as originally asked on M1911.ORG:

Greetings to all,
I'm kind of new to 1911's, even though I've owned one for quite a while. This is kind of a strange question about a family firearm with a bad history. A Series 70 in Satin Nickel that belonged to my cousin. He took his own life with it. My uncle gave it to me about 10 years after my cousin's death, mainly because my aunt wanted it gone. When he gave it to me, he made me promise that it would stay in the family, because he knew how much his son loved his Colt, even though he lost his love for life.

I had, and still have, mixed feelings about the weapon. On one hand, it was an instrument used to take my cousin away. On the other, in better times, my cousin loved to shoot and he often took me to the range because he knew I did too. He had the pistol with him 24/7 because he tended to work at places that were not the most "family oriented" establishments, if you get the drift. We were were about 15 years apart in age, but he was always taking me to do cool stuff that my parents wouldn't, so he was The Man in my book.

It's been sitting in my safe now for at least 15 years. I've never fired it. When my uncle gave it to me, I stripped it, cleaned it, and put it up. The part I couldn't clean were the spots on the slide from, you know. I take it out now and then to inspect it and wipe it down.

Over the past year, I've been thinking about refinishing the slide and shooting it. I think my cousin would want me to shoot it with my son, like he used to with me. But seeing the spots on the slide is a reminder and I would much rather think of happier times when my cousin let me shoot it as a kid.

Just wondering what some of you think about my situation and could offer me some advice about what you would do, if you were me.

Thanks.

With the real background laid out, I'll take a shot at Mr. Doughnut's questions:

1. Whose wishes should be honored, the uncle's or the deceased's sister's?

Whichever the owner of the gun, who is the member of the family, chooses to listen to more. Keeping in mind that, at the time the uncle gave the OP the gun, it was given and accepted subject to the proviso that it would always remain in the family. The owner has made his choice -- who are we to second-guess it? What gives Mr. Doughnut any right at all to butt into a sensitive and highly personal decision?

2. If the gun stays, should future shooting activities involving the suicide gun within the (extended) family be kept secret from the sister to avoid re-traumatizing her?

Secret? As in a conspiracy of silence? I don't think the owner should go out of his way to rub her nose in the fact that he is honoring her brother's memory in the way that works best for him, but I also don't think he should be overly concerned with concealing the fact from her.

Another point: If individuals are at a greater risk to commit suicide if a family member has already done so -- at least 2.5x greater, according to one study published in 2010 -- does anyone see an added danger of keeping this particular gun around?
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[Sam1911]

Topics of argument that spill over from other forums aren't really welcomed here.

If Mr. Doughnut wants to discuss the matter, he may send me a PM.