Uh oh- Wife wants to know how many guns I own?

[mwsfarm]

I kinda dodged the question tonight- probably won't be able to for very long- got her out in the yard with the kids shooting tonight. She had fun, she was hitting spinning gopher target at 50 yards, her last 14 shots were dead on.

so maybe it won't be so bad when I actually have to tell her how many?

I updated my inventory list tonight, so at least I know now.........

 

[welldoya]

Tell her only 10 but you move 'em around a lot.

 

[SeanSw]

Lock the safe. Go for a long fishing trip. Bring flowers upon return.

 

[armoredman]

Lots of flowers, and an expensive gift card to Dillards or Bloomingdales...

 

[hso]

Just tell her. As long as the bills are paid and the entertainment and retirement and college funds are on schedule neither of you have anything to complain about.

 

[bigione]

But I still need another!!

 

[oneounceload]

Whe she asks how many, just tell her...."not enough".....

 

[springmom]

Jeepers, I don't think either one of us knows how many. Unless we dig 'em all out and count them. There's his, mine, and ours, and I don't have a clue how many.

Just tell her "not enough, because we need to buy you one."

Jan

 

[Oro]

When I am confronted with this problem, I use several military principals to deal with it. With no small children around to create a safety issue, this works really well:

1) Camouflage: So many look alike at the casual glance. For example, Sistema Colt = Series '70 #1 = Series '70 #2 = Norinco 1911a1. I try to buy new guns that are either duplicates of ones I have, or very, very similar to the untutored eye.

2) Concealment: don't leave them all lying out at any one time.

3) Cover: Keep them in inaccessible places they won't be stumbled upon

4) Dispersion: keep them in multiple stashes so no more than four or five are discovered at a time. DO NOT put more than that in the same range bag or safe.

5) Deception: Be generic when talking about them. "My .30-30." Don't reveal there are three: XTR, pre-64, post-'64 - all the same. This works hand-in-hand with #1.

6) Psy-ops #1: If you ever sell a gun, be sure to mention it. Frequently.

7) Psy-ops #2: Buy her a gun every year or two. Make it a nice one. Let her know you'll take care of it for her.

8) The Nuclear Option/Mutual Assured Destruction: Find out where she hides all her shoes, dresses, and handbags. Hold that back as a trump card if the skirmish goes "hot."

If you use these things carefully, and for years, your life will be much easier. I swear I bet she thinks I only own about 12 guns. If the US Navy had been half as skilled as I am, the Japanese NEVER would have hit Pearl Harbor...

 

[crazy-mp]

The couch is more comfortable after three or four nights, or so I hear.....

 

[sm]

Honey, how many guns do you have?

"Darlin' your eyes are prettier than the stars in the sky. Like the stars darlin' -you can't count 'em all, and you will always discover one more star you didn't count when you counted before".

Trust me on this, I gots two sets of divorce papers, and I ain't the only one professional enough to answer this question.


Use Enough Fertilizer

*wink*

 

[kentucky bucky]

Figure out how many you will probably buy and add that to the real number. She already knows you have a bunch, but not exactly how many. This way you can continue to add to the pile without a future problem. Remind her what a great "investment" they are. If she finds out how many you really have in the future, by counting them herself, say you traded some cheaper guns for the nice ones you have now. OR.....be completely honest and sneak them and hide them the rest of your natural life like me.

 

[pharmer]

If she doesn't know, tell her 7. CF rifle, pistol, revolver. RF rifle, pistol. Hd and sporting shotgun. Sounds more than reasonable no matter who you are. Joe

 

[Rawb77]

"Honey, how many guns do you have?"

"Sweety, how many pairs of shoes do you have?...Exactly, quit complainin'!"

 

[scott5]

Hey mws,
"Jeepers, I don't think either one of us knows how many. Unless we dig 'em all out and count them. There's his, mine, and ours, and I don't have a clue how many.

Just tell her "not enough, because we need to buy you one."

Jan "

I like that answer the best, afterall do you want her to lie to you?

Just my $0.02 worth.

 

[KarenTOC]

"Honey, how many guns do you have?"

"I don't know, but it would be interesting to find out. Since you need to know, why don't you count them for me? And as long as your doing that, take pictures, record serial numbers, and log them all for insurance purposes. Maybe make an excel spreadsheet with blue book prices. I've been meaning to do that for ages but I've been putting it off because it's such a painful task. Thanks for volunteering to do it for me."

 

[10-Ring]

+1 what hso said -- you'll be better off now if she just knows....esp if you're not needing for anything and everyone has a full belly Now if the question changes and she wants a complete inventory, then you got a problem But if it's a number she wants -- tell her

 

[ArchAngelCD]

That sounds like a question that's asked before the divorce papers are served.

 

[PzGren]

Flowers alone won't cut it, I always was into cooking and evaded the answer to a similiar question by appointing myself the family cook.

The flowers are just a nice touch, then.

 

[doc2rn]

Loaded question my answer is always "Enuff for me, but I was thinkin you need one too"

 

[stickhauler]

Tell Her Truthfully....

"Math isn't my strong suit" (even if you hold an accounting degree). Or follow the accepted Ron White solution "Diamonds. That'll shut her up!"

I thank the Lord I have a wonderful woman who indulges my wishes to a fault, if I think I really need more guns, she simply asks "do you think that's enough yet?" To which I reply: "unless I get a helluva deal." And this dear woman accepts that lame line. God I love that woman!

 

[ccsniper]

RUN!!! as fast as you can and don't stop till you hit mexico. Then keep on the move so she never finds you. Remember take nothing but pictures leave nothing but footprints.

 

[Sunray]

It's a whole lot easier and less painful to let her claim one or two as her's. What's your's is her's anyway. You might get away with not having the kids claiming their's too.

 

[loop]

We moved recently and it became painfully obvious.

It took longer to move the guns than it took to move the horses.

I promised to sell at least 30 with the caveat that it would be 30 long guns that I sell and that I would reinvest in hand guns because they are much easier to move and take less room to store...

 

[peyton]

Did she call my wife? I got asked since my army retirement check is around $2,000 a month, why am I always broke?? My FFL has got 3 revolvers sitting in his safe, I will pick them up when I return from Iraq. I would tell your wife that you are trying to stimulate the ecomony, and conviently forget the safe combination. Oh, that does not work, my new safe has a digital combo and she can open it!!