Unsettling encounter - am I being paranoid? (Long)

[COLOSHOOTR]

You definitely were not paranoid. In my experience the stopping and putting the cell phone up every time is a definite clue that he was up to no good. He likely was going to commit a crime either against you or the store itself but you taking notice spooked him off. Easy targets don't pay any attention and what he thought may be a easy target ended up being way more aware of his surroundings than he probably expected. I don't see how anyone could take him for security as he pulled up in a vehicle and then scurried back out of the store and drove off. Most of the time loss prevention stays in the store and they definitely are not going to run off because a 60 year old man noticed them.

Back to the phone deal for a minute. I've been a Police Officer for awhile now and work at a fairly large metro area agency so I have a little experience dealing with crime / bad people. We have cameras posted all over the place in our high crime areas and can watch the drug dealers perform hand to hand deals right on the street corners. Then we pull up in those super obvious vehicles with the red/blue roof racks and reflective stickers all over. What's the first thing they do 90% of the time? Thats right they pull out a phone and pretend to be talking on it like they are usually doing nothing wrong. Then when we contact them they were just waiting for their ride and we are harassing them according to them usually because of their race not the fact we were watching them deal drugs.

Here is one place where you do seem to be a little paranoid. I don't know if people here are rubbing off on you but why not call Police? Sure, he may not have done anything illegal yet but, he definitely made you suspicious enough that you were alarmed and it continued to bother you enough to post about it here. That is definitely reasonable suspicion and would justify a Police contact. You are not going to get in any trouble for calling because you felt something was off about the guy. Who knows maybe Officers would have had nothing on him then he'd just be ID'd and released. Or just maybe this guy is a suspect wanted in half a dozen street robberies and your call could have cracked the case but instead you decide not to call and even mention later in the thead that you were worried about being accused of harassment. That's freaking paranoia right there! A call to Police was definitely warranted and I would not have been upset to respond to such a call. In fact I'd rather get the call and contact the guy just to find out it was a misunderstanding and he is smooth than to not go and have him actually be a criminal that ends up hurting someone later on during his next robbery.

 

[Fiv3r]

My spidey sense would be tingling too. There is a big difference between being paranoid and profiling someone and being tuned into situational cues.

I think there would be less victims if people just pulled their head's out of their phones and actually paid attention to their surroundings. Criminals want easy targets that can be caught unaware.

Trust your gut. I remember working at Target when I was 20 years old. I was working the electronics counter and a guy wanted to see a camera. He was scruffy looking, but honestly no scruffier than other customers I just felt like he was dangerous. I was a physically fit young man in my 20s with 20lbs and 3" in the guy, but he still gave me the creeps.
I saw his mug on the news a few days later when he was arrested for stabbing his girlfriend (not fatally, thank God).

We're animals. If we pay attention, we can smell danger.

 

[Krogen]

Sure is a lot of arm-chair quarterbacking in this thread. IMNHO, it matters not what was truly going on in the other guy's head. It could have been an "interview" or it could have been something totally innocuous. The key is you were aware and dealt with it. You paid attention to your Spidey-sense. Nothing escalated and you and your bride went home safely. That is the height of success.

Paranoid? Nope. You did just fine.

 

[pharmer]

If no one mentioned it, the young feller might have been watching what you got filled. Some of the pharmacy techs have no sense saying stuff like "These Vicodin DS are pretty potent, don't take more than one at a time. I gave you enough for 3 months. Have a nice day!" Good thing you were ready for option 1,2,or 3. Joe

 

[DanielT10/22]

You're not being paranoid. Learn to heed your intuition. The more info you have the better your position in any situation. Pics if you have a smart phone, license number, make/model, description of the guy. All things you will need to file a report with the police. Don't call 911, but have an officer file a report with the info. Go to the local Police Station if they won't come to you. If something does happen, it'll be easier to catch the guy and if you are forced to defend yourself later will have a record of a previous encounter. It'll help at your trial.

 

[TarDevil]

AKElroy, to answer your question; naturally I believe my wife to be quite attractive. She has a terrific figure for a 55 year old, but she does have wrinkles. Even so, she seems to get a bit of attention when we go out. In this instance, the guy just didn't have "that look."

In regards to calling the police; I mentioned elsewhere that I discussed this with the assistant DA in my county. He asked for and received a description of the guy and make/model/color of car. He'll get back to me if anything syncs.

I appreciate the input. On hindsight there may have been some things I could have done different, but in real time it's hard to be perfect. Always, I will err on the safe side when my family is involved.

 

[RustyShackelford]

2013....

In the fall of 2013 I worked a series of security details at construction sites for a expanding service station/mini mart chain.
The metro area had a few construction site thefts & break-ins so the general contractors were adding extra security until the CCTVs/alarms could be set up.
One hot afternoon I looked across the street and noticed a strange guy using a smart phone. He paced back & forth in the same spot for about 20min, .
The guy then started to use the camera phone to snap off a few pics of the property and stacks of building materials .
The guy seemed rattled when I made my presence known and I never had any more incidents like that but I'm glad I was on my toes for that activity.

 

[Aragon]

Wife drove us to CVS, pulled into our parking spot. Almost immediately a 20ish hispanic man pulls in beside us...

In all sincerity, what does speaking Spanish as one's native tongue have to do with this?

 

[USAF_Vet]

No one can tell you if your 'paranoia' was justified. Your acts may have prevented a crime against person or property, but since that can not be proven without the other guy saying so, it's kind of silly to consider. At worst, the other guy (and apparently quite a few THR posters) was offended and a little butt hurt. Oh well, I'm sure we've all done worse.

In any event, justifiable paranoia or not, you and your wife were kept safe. That's the only thing that really matters. The rest of it is just insignificant details.

 

[Aragon]

Wife drove us to CVS, pulled into our parking spot. Almost immediately a 20ish hispanic man pulls in beside us.

Wife took a few extra seconds to gather her things, then we got out. Man beside us is still sitting in his car, head down.

In the store, my wife went down an aisle, I stayed at the end of the aisle near the front of the store. Suddenly I hear "Excuse me," turn to see the same young man waiting to pass by. He had plenty of room, but whatever... I said, "Sorry" and moved into the aisle with my wife.

Seconds later I see him in the adjacent aisle, focusing on us...

Why not simply say something like "can I help you with something?" Direct, no-nonsense, businesslike. I suspect doing so would have put your concerns to rest right on the spot.

You and your wife could have simply left too.

 

[Cee Zee]

Cee Zee, we did talk about that briefly. The thing that might rule that out is him pulling into the parking lot with us. Granted, he may have just reported to work.

Or he could be trying to blend in by pretending to just show up. He could drive around the parking lot and then go back inside as if he just got there. That's how store security types operate. They try really hard to blend in because they know the pros (people who shoplift often) know how to spot security. So they do whatever they can to throw people off their tracks. Once you learn how they operate they are really easy to spot. My guess is that almost every time you go into a store like a Walmart there is at least one undercover security person there. They will aimlessly walk around pretending to look at stuff. They might even pick up something but if you look in a minute or two they have put it back down. And they will follow you around waiting for you to stuff something down your shirt.

I'd bet a dollar that your stalker was security. It sounds exactly like what they do. You have to remember that many of them are amateur Dick Tracy types too trying to blend in and not doing a very good job of it at all. But from the way my cousin described his job it is pretty much identical to what happened to you. I've even had ignorant bozos accuse me of trying to shoplift, which I have not done since I was dared to do it in high school and that was for a cheap apple pie in a grocery store (cost about $.49 I believe). But I also knew a guy who made a living as a shoplifter. I worked with the guy before he got into his new "trade". He tried to get me involved but no way. It was more of a thrill ride for him anyway. The thing is you can make ridiculous amounts of money doing what he did. What he actually did was called "refunding". You walk into a store and pick up a very expensive item and take it to the customer service to get a "refund" for a gift your mom bought you that you didn't want or whatever. He specialized in sweepers. He knew which stores sold them and which ones would give out refunds without a receipt. He could do 4 or 5 in a day in a city and move on to another city the next day where there were more stores. The sweepers were worth about $400 each so you see how much money he was stealing. But the guy could sell sand to an Arab anyway. He spent some time in jail but they never got him for more than one theft at a time and he would just skip out as soon as he got bailed out by his traveling partner (which is what he wanted me to do). He did that for at least 15 years and went through more money than you can imagine. Easy money never lasts. I don't care how much of it you manage to bring in. He was always living on the road which meant big expenses. He also drove a brand new Caddy at the time because he liked living large. Like I said it was about the rush for him. I never had that problem. I tried to talk him out of doing it. Heck he went to my father in law's paint store after my FIL told the salesman to never give him a refund on anything but he got about $75 from them on a can of paint he picked up right by the front door. He just did it to prove he could.

You can imagine why stores spend money trying to stop people like that. I knew another guy who would walk in to a store with a dolly and wheel out a refrigerator like he had just bought it. He's load it on a truck and down the road he would go. If you look like you know what you're doing you rarely get questioned. That guy was a distant relative of mine.

Shoplifting is a lot bigger business than people realize. Stores spend money to try to stop it but as you saw with your friend they aren't very good at it. The guy tipped you off big time that something was up. If he was actually good you wouldn't have ever noticed him. I know a few things about this issue from people on both sides of the law. I'd bet 10 bucks your guy was store security.

 

[TarDevil]

In all sincerity, what does speaking Spanish as one's native tongue have to do with this?

So, if I were asked for a description, what would you suggest?

You don't know me, so I'll be blunt: I'm the LAST person you need to beat on about prejudice, just in case you're playing that card. Apologies if you are not.

I'd bet 10 bucks your guy was store security.

Interesting, Cee Zee. I knew about shoplifters, just didn't know all the angles they play.

I certainly hope you are right!

 

[Robert]

Op, after 5 pages you have some really good answers, and some not so good. Consider all the input and learn from your experience so that next time something happens you are ready. For now this is starting to drift away from the original issues so let's call it done.