Your Funny Gun Quotes

[Igloodude]

"Y'all call me a paranoid gun-nut now, but we all know who you're going to be running to for help when the zombies show up."

 

[cbrgator]

"Y'all call me a paranoid gun-nut now, but we all know who you're going to be running to for help when the zombies show up."

Awesome! People tell me that all the time. I have a bunch of friends who tell me I'm crazy, but if SHTF, they are coming to my house. I'm in trouble because if S really does HTF, there's going to be a line outside my house a mile long.

 

[foghornl]

Got asked a couple of times while shooting my SKS:

'Is that an 'Assault Weapon'?

"Only if I butt-stroke you in the face with it!"

 

[lamebums]

(Why do you have all that?)

"The goddamn zombies aren't going to shoot themselves."

 

[DRYHUMOR]

8. No matter how responsible he seems, never give your gun to a monkey.

Sound advice.

 

[ejfalvo]

drop the apple

My son was watching my brother in law and I target shooting. He is slightly better than I. The dialogue:

son: Uncle Dave, you sure are a great shot
BIL: I practice alot. Ill always be able to beat your dad
son: If I go stand by the targets (100 yards) can you hit an apple in my hand
BIL: Nope, but I can make you drop it................

Funniest thing I heard in a long time.

 

[Woodstock45678]

OMG ejfalvo one of the funniest I've read.

True stories are always the funniest

 

[crazy-mp]

I'm in trouble because if S really does HTF, there's going to be a line outside my house a mile long.

I just hope your line does not get backed up into my line!



Did anyone else see that commercial for Brothers in arms hells highway?

There were a couple WWII soldiers in a bunker laughing at a sniper quite a ways away laughing at him for wasting his ammo and when the guy in front says something to one of the other guys he realizes that they are all dead.

I guess it was funnier on TV.....oh well

 

[alaskanativeson]

Not so much funny as wonderful:

"You're right, there's no such thing as spending too much money on guns."
- My wife

A little background: we were living in Colorado as i was preparing to finish school before moving back to Alaska to teach. We had just driven to the grand opening of the huge new Cabelas in Sydney (the first one) when she saw the head and teeth size of the Brown Bear mount.

I love my wife.

 

[mindwip]

"My first plan of action is to ductape ceramic bullet proof plates to my back, that way when we are being shoot at i can soak up multiply 308 hits and provide cover for my other team members to fire back? Do you think i can impove on this plan."


Perhaps...


Gecko45 if you have not read the great words from this guy you are missing out.

 

[KC0QGL]

"Watch out for Kamron, he's a gun nut."

This came form the same guy who was fired for pointing his loaded Tazer at all of my co-workers BUT ME. The Tazer was one of many reasons he is no longer with the company.

My all time favorite:
"I'd like to shoot the bastard who...."
Heard that one form my Dad when I was a kid.

 

[Zach S]

"I'd like to shoot the bastard who...."

I use that one quite a bit. I'm the family mechanic.

 

[Revolver Ocelot]

"I think it is the shoulder thing that goes up." As said by one of our favorite antis referring to a barrel shroud.

3pairs12, does this look framiliar?

 

[Southern Rebel]

Don't run from a sniper, you'll just die tired.

The following was a Rapid Wit Reply from my cousin when I mad fun of her .25 caliber defense gun:

"yeah, well just don't run from my .25 because you will die VERY tired from all the running plus the multiple superficial gun wounds!"

 

[ErikS]

Charlie Miller, Texas Ranger

Charlie was after an outlaw and caught up with him in the vega of the river, in Val Verde County just south of the area where I used to serve as sheriff. In a flurry of action the Ranger and the outlaw wounded each other. As he lay in the brush, Miller called over to his assailant and told him that he knew they were both wounded. Miller suggested that they stand up and finish this fight like men so that one of them could get to a doctor. In later years Miller would just shake his head and state, "And you know what? That damned fool actually stood up!"

 

[NCSUPackman]

Explaining in Gun Terms

A good friend of mine who I have taken shooting and gave many lessons about guns was explaining a great deal he got on a high end guitar. He explained it as "It's like a I got a Kimber at a non-Kimber price."

 

[22LRFan]

Crazy-mp I remember that commercial! It was Call of Duty 5 and the "noob" got the M1A1 Carbine right away because he pre-ordered at GameStop...I know because I used to work at one. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5TQVSxQEPA

 

[Sixtigers]

Most memorable gun quote:

"I believe so, son. Give it a shot!"
--My father, when my 12 year-old self asked if it would hurt less if I moved the shotgun away from my shoulder a couple of inches.

 

[one45auto]

Haven't read all 92 replies so I don't know if this has been posted yet, but.....

"Emmett, this is Rooster....I got five more Marshals out here and we got a bucket a' coal oil."

"Drink it!"

"One more minute and you're gonna drink it! Chuck your guns out and follow em' with your hands high and nobody'll get hurt. If that coal oil goes down the chimney we're killin' everybody that comes out that door."

 

[earlthegoat2]

Customer at a gun counter: The 9mm is not that good of a round anymore is it?

Gun seller: What are you talking about? The 9mm has killed more people than cancer.



This could be part of the reason so many people are hard on gun salesman. That is why I always say: Maybe its not the salesman, maybe it is you.

 

[SpecialKalltheway]

Sixtigers:
Most memorable gun quote:
"I believe so, son. Give it a shot!"
--My father, when my 12 year-old self asked if it would hurt less if I moved the shotgun away from my shoulder a couple of inches.

hahahahahahahahaha sounds like something I would do. gotta love family.