Creaky_Old_Cop
member
SITUATIONAL AWARENESS! DERBA DERBA DERRRRRRRR! - You always seem to see one or a hundred people chime in on a thread in a social media platform when someone relates a self defense or near self defense story. Often, it's the same doods who have their own faces buried in their phones while they are in the middle of crowds, typing out a sternly worded "Your tactics suck bro" message. I think the electronic addiction is stronger than heroin.
What I also see, is the complete lack of people setting and enforcing their personal boundaries when in public. Whether it's because their faces are buried in their phone and they don't even notice the incursions into their personal space, or they are too timid to make eye contact with other people, or have no idea that they CAN set and enforce a boundary. Whatever the case may be, the end consequence of this often becomes that they are assist a predatory human in committing a crime upon their person.
I was at one of the local gas stations recently, and it's my habit to fuel at the farthest pump from the building. From here, I can watch the whole parking lot, and see anyone orienting at me specifically. Plus, it also reduces the chance that I will have to interact with other people (because they are yucky). A typical Snowbird Mobile pulled in on the other side of the island I was on. The old fart gets out, has a Taurus Snubby in a cattywhumpus strong side holster that he's using as a crossdraw holster, but now it has a weird cant to it. Whatever. He learned all he knows about packing a heater from Barney Miller. I don't care.
I'm washing the mirrors on my YJ and cleaning the windshield so I can use the reflection to keep an eye on what's going on. Old Fart is toodling around on his phone while he fills his truck. Then I see our ONE town crackhead making a beeline toward him. Crackhead avoids ME like the plague because I "set a boundary" with him several years ago, but the Old Fart is completely oblivious to the fact he is being targeted for a panhandle by a turd with a stem habit.
I just keep watching. Crackhead looks at me, and I just glare at him and shake my head and he veers off and goes around Old Fart's truck to approach him from the front. I just keep watching. Pop goes the weasel, Crackhead is literally close enough to Old Fart that he could have hit him, knifed him, disarmed him, or whatever he wanted to do TO him...and still Old Fart didn't notice that he was there for a full 2 or 3 seconds before Crackhead scared the ever loving poop out of him with his burnt out tweak voice "Excuse me...but do you have...."
Old Fart nearly jumped out of his skin and let out a "WOOT!". Crackhead nearly jumped out of his own skin being startled by Old Fart. It was pure comedy, or at least it WOULD have been if the scene hadn't been a textbook example of a so-called "armed citizen" having his head up his turd cutter, and an opportunistic addict/panhandler being able to get the total jump on him.
Bear in mind, the Old Fart wasn't in real danger because I was there and would have gladly put Crackhead down for a nap...but the ramifications of the situation, when taken in totem is sadly, and too representative of a gun owner who thinks that just having a gun makes him safe, and NOT realizing that his last thought could have been "Why does this guy have MY gun, and why am I bleeding?".
Set and enforce that boundary. You do NOT have to allow someone to approach you. You can enforce a reasonable personal bubble that is often recognized as being 2 1/2 - 3 arms lengths around you. My continuum is See, Eye Contact, Square Off, Verbal....then whatever is appropriate on an ACT side. 90% of the time I have been approached, simply locking eyes and shaking my head is enough to warn off a panhandler/addict. If that doesn't work "Easy there Tiger, that's close enough" with my off hand out, palm forward like the universal "STOP" gesture will cover another 9% of the time, and steer them away from you.
Then that pesky one percent (probably more like half a percent), where the verbal doesn't work and you have to escalate to a visibly "aggressively defensive" posture and be fully engaged in whatever is going to happen next, at least at your GO POINT. I find this to work so well, that I have never had to actually go to ACT when approached. Yes, I've had to listen to some turd run his giblets while he walked away, telling me how tough he is and blah blah blah, but the message was clearly delivered and with conviction that left no doubt that I was not a good choice as a victim. I have trained this technique for years when I do Well Armed Woman classes or general Defensive Techniques classes, and get a lot of feedback from students on how well it works.
So...keep your head out of your hiney and ENFORCE THOSE BOUNDARIES.
What I also see, is the complete lack of people setting and enforcing their personal boundaries when in public. Whether it's because their faces are buried in their phone and they don't even notice the incursions into their personal space, or they are too timid to make eye contact with other people, or have no idea that they CAN set and enforce a boundary. Whatever the case may be, the end consequence of this often becomes that they are assist a predatory human in committing a crime upon their person.
I was at one of the local gas stations recently, and it's my habit to fuel at the farthest pump from the building. From here, I can watch the whole parking lot, and see anyone orienting at me specifically. Plus, it also reduces the chance that I will have to interact with other people (because they are yucky). A typical Snowbird Mobile pulled in on the other side of the island I was on. The old fart gets out, has a Taurus Snubby in a cattywhumpus strong side holster that he's using as a crossdraw holster, but now it has a weird cant to it. Whatever. He learned all he knows about packing a heater from Barney Miller. I don't care.
I'm washing the mirrors on my YJ and cleaning the windshield so I can use the reflection to keep an eye on what's going on. Old Fart is toodling around on his phone while he fills his truck. Then I see our ONE town crackhead making a beeline toward him. Crackhead avoids ME like the plague because I "set a boundary" with him several years ago, but the Old Fart is completely oblivious to the fact he is being targeted for a panhandle by a turd with a stem habit.
I just keep watching. Crackhead looks at me, and I just glare at him and shake my head and he veers off and goes around Old Fart's truck to approach him from the front. I just keep watching. Pop goes the weasel, Crackhead is literally close enough to Old Fart that he could have hit him, knifed him, disarmed him, or whatever he wanted to do TO him...and still Old Fart didn't notice that he was there for a full 2 or 3 seconds before Crackhead scared the ever loving poop out of him with his burnt out tweak voice "Excuse me...but do you have...."
Old Fart nearly jumped out of his skin and let out a "WOOT!". Crackhead nearly jumped out of his own skin being startled by Old Fart. It was pure comedy, or at least it WOULD have been if the scene hadn't been a textbook example of a so-called "armed citizen" having his head up his turd cutter, and an opportunistic addict/panhandler being able to get the total jump on him.
Bear in mind, the Old Fart wasn't in real danger because I was there and would have gladly put Crackhead down for a nap...but the ramifications of the situation, when taken in totem is sadly, and too representative of a gun owner who thinks that just having a gun makes him safe, and NOT realizing that his last thought could have been "Why does this guy have MY gun, and why am I bleeding?".
Set and enforce that boundary. You do NOT have to allow someone to approach you. You can enforce a reasonable personal bubble that is often recognized as being 2 1/2 - 3 arms lengths around you. My continuum is See, Eye Contact, Square Off, Verbal....then whatever is appropriate on an ACT side. 90% of the time I have been approached, simply locking eyes and shaking my head is enough to warn off a panhandler/addict. If that doesn't work "Easy there Tiger, that's close enough" with my off hand out, palm forward like the universal "STOP" gesture will cover another 9% of the time, and steer them away from you.
Then that pesky one percent (probably more like half a percent), where the verbal doesn't work and you have to escalate to a visibly "aggressively defensive" posture and be fully engaged in whatever is going to happen next, at least at your GO POINT. I find this to work so well, that I have never had to actually go to ACT when approached. Yes, I've had to listen to some turd run his giblets while he walked away, telling me how tough he is and blah blah blah, but the message was clearly delivered and with conviction that left no doubt that I was not a good choice as a victim. I have trained this technique for years when I do Well Armed Woman classes or general Defensive Techniques classes, and get a lot of feedback from students on how well it works.
So...keep your head out of your hiney and ENFORCE THOSE BOUNDARIES.