Setting And Enforcing Your Boundaries In Public

[Creaky_Old_Cop]

SITUATIONAL AWARENESS! DERBA DERBA DERRRRRRRR! - You always seem to see one or a hundred people chime in on a thread in a social media platform when someone relates a self defense or near self defense story. Often, it's the same doods who have their own faces buried in their phones while they are in the middle of crowds, typing out a sternly worded "Your tactics suck bro" message. I think the electronic addiction is stronger than heroin.

What I also see, is the complete lack of people setting and enforcing their personal boundaries when in public. Whether it's because their faces are buried in their phone and they don't even notice the incursions into their personal space, or they are too timid to make eye contact with other people, or have no idea that they CAN set and enforce a boundary. Whatever the case may be, the end consequence of this often becomes that they are assist a predatory human in committing a crime upon their person.

I was at one of the local gas stations recently, and it's my habit to fuel at the farthest pump from the building. From here, I can watch the whole parking lot, and see anyone orienting at me specifically. Plus, it also reduces the chance that I will have to interact with other people (because they are yucky). A typical Snowbird Mobile pulled in on the other side of the island I was on. The old fart gets out, has a Taurus Snubby in a cattywhumpus strong side holster that he's using as a crossdraw holster, but now it has a weird cant to it. Whatever. He learned all he knows about packing a heater from Barney Miller. I don't care.

I'm washing the mirrors on my YJ and cleaning the windshield so I can use the reflection to keep an eye on what's going on. Old Fart is toodling around on his phone while he fills his truck. Then I see our ONE town crackhead making a beeline toward him. Crackhead avoids ME like the plague because I "set a boundary" with him several years ago, but the Old Fart is completely oblivious to the fact he is being targeted for a panhandle by a turd with a stem habit.

I just keep watching. Crackhead looks at me, and I just glare at him and shake my head and he veers off and goes around Old Fart's truck to approach him from the front. I just keep watching. Pop goes the weasel, Crackhead is literally close enough to Old Fart that he could have hit him, knifed him, disarmed him, or whatever he wanted to do TO him...and still Old Fart didn't notice that he was there for a full 2 or 3 seconds before Crackhead scared the ever loving poop out of him with his burnt out tweak voice "Excuse me...but do you have...."

Old Fart nearly jumped out of his skin and let out a "WOOT!". Crackhead nearly jumped out of his own skin being startled by Old Fart. It was pure comedy, or at least it WOULD have been if the scene hadn't been a textbook example of a so-called "armed citizen" having his head up his turd cutter, and an opportunistic addict/panhandler being able to get the total jump on him.

Bear in mind, the Old Fart wasn't in real danger because I was there and would have gladly put Crackhead down for a nap...but the ramifications of the situation, when taken in totem is sadly, and too representative of a gun owner who thinks that just having a gun makes him safe, and NOT realizing that his last thought could have been "Why does this guy have MY gun, and why am I bleeding?".

Set and enforce that boundary. You do NOT have to allow someone to approach you. You can enforce a reasonable personal bubble that is often recognized as being 2 1/2 - 3 arms lengths around you. My continuum is See, Eye Contact, Square Off, Verbal....then whatever is appropriate on an ACT side. 90% of the time I have been approached, simply locking eyes and shaking my head is enough to warn off a panhandler/addict. If that doesn't work "Easy there Tiger, that's close enough" with my off hand out, palm forward like the universal "STOP" gesture will cover another 9% of the time, and steer them away from you.

Then that pesky one percent (probably more like half a percent), where the verbal doesn't work and you have to escalate to a visibly "aggressively defensive" posture and be fully engaged in whatever is going to happen next, at least at your GO POINT. I find this to work so well, that I have never had to actually go to ACT when approached. Yes, I've had to listen to some turd run his giblets while he walked away, telling me how tough he is and blah blah blah, but the message was clearly delivered and with conviction that left no doubt that I was not a good choice as a victim. I have trained this technique for years when I do Well Armed Woman classes or general Defensive Techniques classes, and get a lot of feedback from students on how well it works.

So...keep your head out of your hiney and ENFORCE THOSE BOUNDARIES.

 

[.455_Hunter]

Yes- Mastering the use and deployment of command voice is a key tool in the defensive tool box. I have used it many times to deflect inbound bogies.

 

[shafter]

Situational awareness is always the way to go but enforcing personal space can be very tricky. It can needlessly escalate something into a problem that wasn't there or you can get in hot water for putting hands on someone who hasn't made an offensive gesture aside from standing too close which doesn't have any legal definition.

Tread with caution.

 

[earlthegoat2]

Enforcing personal space on a known local panhandler and enforcing it on public transit should likely be handled much differently.

 

[JmacD]

Enforcing personal space on a known local panhandler and enforcing it on public transit should likely be handled much differently.

Part of situational awareness imho. You’re absolutely correct

 

[Kleanbore]

What I also see, is the complete lack of people setting and enforcing their personal boundaries when in public

What "personal boundaries"?

Set and enforce that boundary. You do NOT have to allow someone to approach you.

Please cite the natural, constitutional, statutory, or common law that establishes that.

You can enforce a reasonable personal bubble that is often recognized as being 2 1/2 - 3 arms lengths around you.

That is ridiculous.

So...keep your head out of your hiney and ENFORCE THOSE BOUNDARIES.

That is TERRIBLE advice. We choose to not delete your post only because it provided a basis for discussion.

 

[scaatylobo]

SITUATIONAL AWARENESS! DERBA DERBA DERRRRRRRR! - You always seem to see one or a hundred people chime in on a thread in a social media platform when someone relates a self defense or near self defense story. Often, it's the same doods who have their own faces buried in their phones while they are in the middle of crowds, typing out a sternly worded "Your tactics suck bro" message. I think the electronic addiction is stronger than heroin.

What I also see, is the complete lack of people setting and enforcing their personal boundaries when in public. Whether it's because their faces are buried in their phone and they don't even notice the incursions into their personal space, or they are too timid to make eye contact with other people, or have no idea that they CAN set and enforce a boundary. Whatever the case may be, the end consequence of this often becomes that they are assist a predatory human in committing a crime upon their person.

I was at one of the local gas stations recently, and it's my habit to fuel at the farthest pump from the building. From here, I can watch the whole parking lot, and see anyone orienting at me specifically. Plus, it also reduces the chance that I will have to interact with other people (because they are yucky). A typical Snowbird Mobile pulled in on the other side of the island I was on. The old fart gets out, has a Taurus Snubby in a cattywhumpus strong side holster that he's using as a crossdraw holster, but now it has a weird cant to it. Whatever. He learned all he knows about packing a heater from Barney Miller. I don't care.

I'm washing the mirrors on my YJ and cleaning the windshield so I can use the reflection to keep an eye on what's going on. Old Fart is toodling around on his phone while he fills his truck. Then I see our ONE town crackhead making a beeline toward him. Crackhead avoids ME like the plague because I "set a boundary" with him several years ago, but the Old Fart is completely oblivious to the fact he is being targeted for a panhandle by a turd with a stem habit.

I just keep watching. Crackhead looks at me, and I just glare at him and shake my head and he veers off and goes around Old Fart's truck to approach him from the front. I just keep watching. Pop goes the weasel, Crackhead is literally close enough to Old Fart that he could have hit him, knifed him, disarmed him, or whatever he wanted to do TO him...and still Old Fart didn't notice that he was there for a full 2 or 3 seconds before Crackhead scared the ever loving poop out of him with his burnt out tweak voice "Excuse me...but do you have...."

Old Fart nearly jumped out of his skin and let out a "WOOT!". Crackhead nearly jumped out of his own skin being startled by Old Fart. It was pure comedy, or at least it WOULD have been if the scene hadn't been a textbook example of a so-called "armed citizen" having his head up his turd cutter, and an opportunistic addict/panhandler being able to get the total jump on him.

Bear in mind, the Old Fart wasn't in real danger because I was there and would have gladly put Crackhead down for a nap...but the ramifications of the situation, when taken in totem is sadly, and too representative of a gun owner who thinks that just having a gun makes him safe, and NOT realizing that his last thought could have been "Why does this guy have MY gun, and why am I bleeding?".

Set and enforce that boundary. You do NOT have to allow someone to approach you. You can enforce a reasonable personal bubble that is often recognized as being 2 1/2 - 3 arms lengths around you. My continuum is See, Eye Contact, Square Off, Verbal....then whatever is appropriate on an ACT side. 90% of the time I have been approached, simply locking eyes and shaking my head is enough to warn off a panhandler/addict. If that doesn't work "Easy there Tiger, that's close enough" with my off hand out, palm forward like the universal "STOP" gesture will cover another 9% of the time, and steer them away from you.

Then that pesky one percent (probably more like half a percent), where the verbal doesn't work and you have to escalate to a visibly "aggressively defensive" posture and be fully engaged in whatever is going to happen next, at least at your GO POINT. I find this to work so well, that I have never had to actually go to ACT when approached. Yes, I've had to listen to some turd run his giblets while he walked away, telling me how tough he is and blah blah blah, but the message was clearly delivered and with conviction that left no doubt that I was not a good choice as a victim. I have trained this technique for years when I do Well Armed Woman classes or general Defensive Techniques classes, and get a lot of feedback from students on how well it works.

So...keep your head out of your hiney and ENFORCE THOSE BOUNDARIES.

GREAT ADVISE Brother .

Retired almost 17 years and still maintain "that " distance .

My voice is still the Cop voice and I have not had any step inside that measured distance we all know [ but most ignore ].

I adopted a few commands while on the job that still work for me .

First is " take another step and I will drop you ",yes and its done from a real defensive stance with palms facing the threat.

The other is " are you trying to kiss me,or dance with me ".

I see and agree with all your comments,the ONLY issue is you need to have been an LEO with real street time.

Or one with LOTS of streets cred's from the streets.

If you get the training , you will also have that skill and ability.

Keep watching your '6' and always remember its your 1*.

 

[scaatylobo]

What "personal boundaries"?

Please cite the natural, constitutional, statutory, or common law that establishes that.

That is ridiculous.

That is TERRIBLE advice. We choose to not cellmate your post only because it provided a basis bot discussion.

I am asking if you really meant this ----------- or is this more April fools day stuff ?.

 

[Kleanbore]

Retired almost 17 years and still maintain "that " distance .

So do I--but "maintain" does not mean "enforce"

One may not threaten force aabsent lawful justification. A private citizen who haa initiated a confrontation will not prevail in a legal defense of self defense..

I am asking if you really meant this ----------- or is this more April fools day stuff ?.

Please cite the law that would say otherwise.

 

[shafter]

An annoying panhandler who won't take no for an answer is much different from someone who intends to rob you.

In order to lay hands on someone you need to not only have them inside your personal space but be able to articulate why you reasonably believed they were an imminent threat. Typically that involves articulating what they are saying, how they're saying it, and they're posture and demeanor. You're level of response always has to be reasonable.

In my opinion being a jerk is rarely the way to go. "Sorry bro, I can't help you," while continuing on my way is how I handle annoying people. Harsh words lead to harsh actions.

 

[CDW4ME]

Walking into Lowes with my wife recently, I see a guy walking toward me in the parking lot.
I start shaking my head "No".
He says, "Excuse me"..
I keep shaking my head "NO" while continuing to walk; I say nothing.
He shouts, "What is wrong with you, I just wanted to ask directions".
His shouting reinforces that I avoided him.

I don't owe strangers my time, or anything else.
Unexpected knock, knock or ding dong at my front door gets the same response; I'm not opening the door for uninvited / unexpected persons. I don't go to their house and harass them and I'll not reinforce it being done to me.

Other peoples situational awareness? Low, very low. Many are walking victims if targeted by a criminal. They may as well have blinders on, and their head immobile.
Years ago my wife had a salamander that would starve if the food wasn't in front of his face; that salamander had better awareness of his surroundings than some people.

 

[The Night Rider]

We choose to not cellmate your post only because it provided a basis bot discussion.

What does this even mean?

 

[Creaky_Old_Cop]

GREAT ADVISE Brother .

Retired almost 17 years and still maintain "that " distance .

My voice is still the Cop voice and I have not had any step inside that measured distance we all know [ but most ignore ].

I adopted a few commands while on the job that still work for me .

First is " take another step and I will drop you ",yes and its done from a real defensive stance with palms facing the threat.

The other is " are you trying to kiss me,or dance with me ".

I see and agree with all your comments,the ONLY issue is you need to have been an LEO with real street time.

Or one with LOTS of streets cred's from the streets.

If you get the training , you will also have that skill and ability.

Keep watching your '6' and always remember its your 1*.

I did 27 years. I ALWAYS remember that I only have 1*....I see it every time I look at my arm.

 

[The Night Rider]

Like everything else in the world there are nuances to this.

Outside of work I think I've only ever really had one person push the issue with me.

Most of the time when they realize that you're aware of their approach and that you're actually paying attention they'll go look for an easier target without ever opening their mouth.

As another poster mentioned, being an ass to people never gets you good results. All that ever does is turn it into a Richard measuring contest.

The only time I ever went "Full Retard" on somebody was in a Walmart parking lot when some crackhead woman walked around me and walked straight up to my wife.

I have found the easiest thing to say to somebody is "Sorry bro, can't help you." When you make it clear you're not going to help them out they usually walk away.

When I was at work I would frequently tell people who were walking up to me to stop but that was different. I was at work I was acting as the agent of the property owner and I had the authority to do that. I'd never try that off the clock.

Work was a different issue, because I was required and authorized to approach people and ask them to leave.

My last assignment was doing roving patrol in Colorado Springs overnight.

Most of the people that I ended up having to approach were homeless people who were looking for a place to sleep.

One thing that I found that worked very well was to give them a reason to leave.

one of my checks was The Acacia Park Hotel in downtown Colorado Springs. It was a very elegant hotel at the turn of the 19th century. Now it's low income housing but it's still a nice building in the main porch is marble tile.

The quickest way that I've found to get homeless people to leave that main porch was to tell them that that marble tile retains the cold and they might as well be sleeping in a refrigerator.

Then I would tell them that they would actually be warmer sleeping across the street on the grass in Acacia Park. I would also tell them to go to Walmart and get a sleeping pad to put under their sleeping bags and blankets to further insulate them from the ground.

It's really hard to be a jerk to somebody who's showing genuine concern for your welfare. It worked almost every time. They'd not only leave but they would thank me on their way out.

Finally, one thing I would never do is intervene in someone else's incident.

If Joe crackhead is trifling with the guy at the next pump over, number one it's none of my business and number two if he's doing that he's not messing with me.

Not my circus. Not my monkeys. Not my problem.

 

[Kleanbore]

What does this even mean?

Heh. Autocorrect for 'delete".

 

[The Night Rider]

One other thing I wanted to point out in addition to the book that I wrote above is that Covid changed the social landscape in this country forever.

Social Distancing is a thing now and contrary to what Kleanbore thinks, it even has official government sanction.

It is completely acceptable in this world to ask somebody to maintain their Social Distance.

It is common and expected and people who don't respect that are acting contrary to accepted Social Mores.

I have never had anybody approach me outside of a Transitional Space. As I mentioned previously I've never had anyone push the issue outside of work and the very few times it happens I had no problem justifying my response to the Police.

I've also never had to deal with this issue with a soccer mom. Usually the people that are doing it are homeless and they usually have a record with the Police. I've never seen one stick around once they knew the police were on the way.

 

[Old Dog]

First thought that came to mind when I read the OP was, try to "enforce your personal boundaries" in an NYC subway train car...

It is common and expected and people who don't respect that are acting contrary to accepted Social Mores.

Mostly I'd agree with this, but ever been to Europe, Japan or Korea? Very different perspective in some other countries, where the concept of personal space isn't this much of a concern. In some places, the average American might initially be taken aback at the way other folks, not ill-meaning in the least, seem a bit intrusive into one's personal space, depending on the circumstances and setting.

And life in the city, assuming that one actually goes out in public on foot, is a bit different than working in a jail or prison setting (where an officer's bubble is regarded as an arm's length plus a beer bottle).

We do a lot of preaching to the choir on the forums; I suspect that most of us regulars (especially those that frequent "Strategy and Tactics") are pretty clear on the concept of situational awareness, particularly with regard to being an armed citizen.

In the OP's story, he talks about an old guy (whom he refers to in a derogatory fashion for no apparent reason as driving a "snowbird mobile" and being an "old fart") who was armed and carrying in a suboptimal manner with zero situational awareness. Doubtful the subject of the account is the type who frequents internet gun boards, so all we'll see here is some figurative head nodding. The only other folks whose situational awareness I am concerned about are my wife, children and grandchildren. If one grows to adulthood (especially if one attains senior citizen status) without growing the habits and awareness necessary for staying safe in our broken society, as @The Night Rider notes

Not my circus. Not my monkeys. Not my problem.

In closing, if one chooses to be so hyper-attentive to enforcing one's boundaries, I suggest not visiting Pike Place Market on your next visit to Seattle, never going to ball games or concerts and for God's sake, stay away from places like Manhattan or Tokyo.

 

[Creaky_Old_Cop]

What "personal boundaries"?

Please cite the natural, constitutional, statutory, or common law that establishes that.

That is ridiculous.

That is TERRIBLE advice. We choose to not delete your post only because it provided a basis for discussion.

Personal Boundaries....that's the area around an individual that is considered to be theirs based upon subjective feelings of safety, security, and comfort. It can, and will vary based upon the circumstances or the relationship to the person who is invading that bubble.

State to state courts DO recognize the existence of a personal space. Though invading the personal space of another ON ITS OWN is not a specific crime, it is recognized that the Ability, Opportunity, and Jeopardy components of an assaultive act increase as proximity increases. Not to recognize this in the enforcement of your personal space, is what I would call in your words TERRIBLE advice. By your definition of TERRIBLE advice one should allow someone to get into actual physical contact with no recourse.

Yes, one can "enforce" "maintain" "adhere to" "choose to follow" - word or term choice is irrelevant because they are similes in the context of the statement. It is a choice YOU make in how YOU personally hold YOURSELF accountable for how close you let someone approach you before you exercise your RIGHT (I just threw in that whole CONSTITUTIONAL component you asked for....you know....the First Amendment) to tell them that they are close enough. It's not a threat, or a call to violence, it is simply verbalizing to another person that they are close enough, and you don't want them to come closer. It's not really my problem if someone doesn't like my choice of wording especially in light of the fact that it is legal AND grammatically correct.

Tueller quantifies the time-distance at which a person with a contact weapon is a deadly threat at 21 feet, and YES, even an empty hand is a contact weapon, as being 21 feet. 21 feet is a LOT bigger bubble than the 2-3 arms length I am talking about. Is Tueller TERRIBLE advice as it relates to self defense or the enforcement of a personal bubble?

Your argument holds no water. I mean....do you allow strangers to be in contact with your loved ones and NOT "enforce" a bubble around your family? I find that hard to believe, but that is what your statement presupposes.

I choose to ENFORCE my own rules of conduct and behavior upon myself, or the conduct of others in my home, on my property, OR as it relates to MY personal comfort zone in how closely I allow . I could also MAINTAIN my own rules of behavior. Sorry, but I am not going to rearrange my own word usage to make other people feel good. After all...YOU can simply move away to "enforce" your personal bubble or space. You do not have to allow a stranger to "get right up on you" regardless of the circumstances because proximity decreases personal safety and security.

Academies typically define personal space as the 2-3 arms length standard because as distance decreases, the ability to defend against a contact assault also decreases exponentially. This actually goes back to English Common Law because a sword typically added another "arm's length" to it's wielder and it was considered to be the "Blood Circle". Hell, even Girl Scouts use the term "blood circle" now, a thousand years later, to denote a danger zone when they are handling a pocket knife. I don't expect to be knifed by a rowdy Girl Scout....but I won't discount the probability of a crackhead, hooker, or MDP to gut another person who gets inside their personal bubble. I know, I have seen it happen, or been the responding officer to the scene when it DID happen.

So, I believe (correctly by the way) that it's just a whole lot better to NOT allow crackheads, hookers, MDPs, or strangers to get right up on me, in my personal space in the first place than waiting for them to hit, stab, kick, or whatever they may be planning to do that would force ME to take defensive physical action in the first place. I don't know about you...but explaining why I may have hurt someone's tender feelings by telling them they were close enough is a whole lot easier than explaining why I hit , pepper sprayed, or shot someone because I was stupid enough to let them get close enough to do me harm.

So yes..set and enforce your personal boundaries.

 

[Old Dog]

The law does not recognize a specific crime or civil action based on violation of personal space. The law does recognize various actions based on assault, harassment and unwelcome touching.

it is recognized that the Ability, Opportunity, and Jeopardy components of an assaultive act increase as proximity increases.

As I'm sure you know, all three of these factors must come into confluence before you may physically (or use a weapon to) defend yourself, and as noted before, you must reasonably believe -- and be able to later articulate -- that you are in danger of imminent/immediate physical injury or death (or unlawful touching).

but explaining why I may have hurt someone's tender feelings by telling them they were close enough is a whole lot easier than explaining why I hit , pepper sprayed, or shot someone because I was stupid enough to let them get close enough to do me harm.

Letting someone get close enough to do you harm -- violation of your personal space -- is not a defense for committing battery upon them. Not even in Arizona.

The advice the OP (and @scaatylobo) give is much more applicable to the officer in uniform on duty.

This is a generalized version of what we used to teach in citizen self-defense classes:

When Your Personal Space is Invaded

1. Don't take it personally.... Let the person know verbally that they are too close.
   
   • Keep your voice pleasant, yet firm.
   • Own it. State what you want and need without blame or defensiveness.
   • Hold up a hand (like a stop sign) so that your verbal and nonverbal communication align.
   • If helpful, give a reason, like "I'm not comfortable with you being this close to me"
   • Give the benefit of a doubt and expect a positive reaction (not everyone that may invade your space has bad intentions.
2. Step back. ... it is perfectly okay to give up ground while you assess the situation.
3. Be proactive nonverbally. ...
   
   • Stand behind a table, desk, or chair.
   • Cross your arms, put hands on hips or keep your hands up at chest level.
   • If seated, cross the leg that’s closest to the other person.
   • Use minimal eye contact and find a visual aid to look at.
4. Watch for cues. There are a lot of good instructional videos (even on YouTube) out there that can educate you on attack indicators.

 

[.308 Norma]

In closing, if one chooses to be so hyper-attentive to enforcing one's boundaries, I suggest not visiting Pike Place Market on your next visit to Seattle, never going to ball games or concerts and for God's sake, stay away from places like Manhattan or Tokyo.

LOL!
Because of nearby Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Park (as well as Glacier National Park a little further north), one of the things my wife and I have learned over the years is that; if we stop at a highway rest stop and there's one of those tour buses with Japanese writing on it, we stay in our outfit until that tour bus leaves the rest stop.
It's not so much this time of year, but come summer, there will be a lot of tour buses full of Japanese tourists in this part of the country. And while they're like you wrote, "not ill meaning in the least," Japanese tourists are quite "intrusive" into what my wife and I consider our "personal spaces." For that matter, back when my wife and I had our gorgeous little Cocker Spaniel (Ruger), quite a few of those Japanese tourists even approached us (and got too close for our comfort) just because they wanted their pictures taken with an "American" dog.

 

[Kleanbore]

I, too thought of the idea of having a "personal space" in a subway station or outside Chicago Union Station when the Metro trains arrive. There is no such thing.

I also wondered whether the original poster was confusing the tactical realities of distance when a potential use of force threat must be handled--ie, the Tueller distance. Different thing entirely. That has to do with the distance at which a defender would be seriously endangered by an attacker with a contact weapon, It has absolutely nothing to do with a space that one can define in any way as one's own.

No, one does not want crackheads or MDPs to get too close. But unless I have a basis for a reasonable belief they present an overt threat, my recourse is limited to a polite request and to moving away.

What Old Dog used to teach is excellent advice.

 

[The Night Rider]

First thought that came to mind when I read the OP was, try to "enforce your personal boundaries" in an NYC subway train car...

With all due respect, is this example really relevant to this discussion

Mostly I'd agree with this, but ever been to Europe, Japan or Korea? Very different perspective in some other countries, where the concept of personal space isn't this much of a concern.

Again, we're talking about the United States and the OP specified a Transitional Space such as a Gas Station parking lot. Where, according, Tom Givens, a whole bunch of these incidents occur. Again, I don't think perspectives in other countries are relevant to this discussion.

And life in the city, assuming that one actually goes out in public on foot, is a bit different than working in a jail or prison setting (where an officer's bubble is regarded as an arm's length plus a beer bottle).

The OP didn't specify traveling on foot in a city (such as Tacoma). He specified standing at a gas pump, pumping gas. That's not a place where I would expect people to approach within close proximity to me.

I enforce different boundaries in the produce aisle at Walmart than I do in the Walmart parking lot. Still different in the Club (where I wouldn't be anyway)

We do a lot of preaching to the choir on the forums; I suspect that most of us regulars (especially those that frequent "Strategy and Tactics") are pretty clear on the concept of situational awareness, particularly with regard to being an armed citizen.

True.

In the OP's story, he talks about an old guy (whom he refers to in a derogatory fashion for no apparent reason as driving a "snowbird mobile" and being an "old fart") who was armed and carrying in a suboptimal manner with zero situational awareness.

As a Washingtonian and a former Californian you should be familiar with the disdain that Snowbirds who come to your state (and bring their Liberal politics with them) engender.

Doubtful the subject of the account is the type who frequents internet gun boards, so all we'll see here is some figurative head nodding. The only other folks whose situational awareness I am concerned about are my wife, children and grandchildren. If one grows to adulthood (especially if one attains senior citizen status) without growing the habits and awareness necessary for staying safe in our broken society, as @The Night Rider notes.

Truth, even if it is complimentary to me.

In closing, if one chooses to be so hyper-attentive to enforcing one's boundaries, I suggest not visiting Pike Place Market on your next visit to Seattle, never going to ball games or concerts and for God's sake, stay away from places like Manhattan or Tokyo.

I haven't been to Seattle since 92(ish). I've never had any inclination towards Tokyo or Manhattan.

 

[Creaky_Old_Cop]

The law does not recognize a specific crime or civil action based on violation of personal space. The law does recognize various actions based on assault, harassment and unwelcome touching.

As I'm sure you know, all three of these factors must come into confluence before you may physically (or use a weapon to) defend yourself, and as noted before, you must reasonably believe -- and be able to later articulate -- that you are in danger of imminent/immediate physical injury or death (or unlawful touching).

Letting someone get close enough to do you harm -- violation of your personal space -- is not a defense for committing battery upon them. Not even in Arizona.

The advice the OP (and @scaatylobo) give is much more applicable to the officer in uniform on duty.

This is a generalized version of what we used to teach in citizen self-defense classes:

When Your Personal Space is Invaded

1. Don't take it personally.... Let the person know verbally that they are too close.
   
   • Keep your voice pleasant, yet firm.
   • Own it. State what you want and need without blame or defensiveness.
   • Hold up a hand (like a stop sign) so that your verbal and nonverbal communication align.
   • If helpful, give a reason, like "I'm not comfortable with you being this close to me"
   • Give the benefit of a doubt and expect a positive reaction (not everyone that may invade your space has bad intentions.
2. Step back. ... it is perfectly okay to give up ground while you assess the situation.
3. Be proactive nonverbally. ...
   
   • Stand behind a table, desk, or chair.
   • Cross your arms, put hands on hips or keep your hands up at chest level.
   • If seated, cross the leg that’s closest to the other person.
   • Use minimal eye contact and find a visual aid to look at.
4. Watch for cues. There are a lot of good instructional videos (even on YouTube) out there that can educate you on attack indicators.

Where did I mention actually putting hands on someone in the enforcement of one's personal boundaries absent an attack on your person, other than using it as an example of something that would be harder to have to explain than a verbal warning would (even though in NO place, is a verbal warning illegal)? Please point that out to me. I'll wait. In fact, I am going to put on In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida (the long verson) and wait for you to put it up there while it plays.

Beg to differ, but in Arizona....one may use the "Defensive Display" to communicate to another person whom one might reasonably believe is about to engage in violence and uncover a concealed firearm, and warn them "I am armed and I will defend myself" or "I don't want trouble, I am armed and will defend myself" or "Back off, I am armed and will defend myself" (or similar verbiage). I didn't even advocate THAT in any of my posts or responses, neither will you find mention of it, though totally legal in any of them but THIS one.

I merely said MY habit is to hold out my left hand in the universally recognized "stop" gesture and say "Easy Tiger, that's close enough" and ONLY after making eye contact and shaking my head wasn't enough to dissuade them from coming closer to me. An actual ACTION in defense of myself would be way down the line in the force continuum, so please reread, internalize, actually THINK about what I actually wrote before "deciding" what I wrote to fit your view of the universe, It must have been in some sort of code like Enigma to get what you got out of it.

 

[Old Dog]

With all due respect, is this example really relevant to this discussion

he OP didn't specify traveling on foot in a city (such as Tacoma). He specified standing at a gas pump, pumping gas.

The OP used an example at a gas station. He said first

You always seem to see one or a hundred people chime in on a thread in a social media platform when someone relates a self defense or near self defense story. Often, it's the same doods who have their own faces buried in their phones while they are in the middle of crowds,

What I also see, is the complete lack of people setting and enforcing their personal boundaries when in public. Whether it's because their faces are buried in their phone and they don't even notice the incursions into their personal space, or they are too timid to make eye contact with other people, or have no idea that they CAN set and enforce a boundary.

With all due respect, nowhere did I read the OP was specifying his advice applied strictly to gas stations.

 

[Creaky_Old_Cop]

I, too thought of the idea of having a "personal space" in a subway station or outside Chicago Union Station when the Metro trains arrive. There is no such thing.

I also wondered whether the original poster was confusing the tactical realities of distance when a potential use of force threat must be handled--ie, the Tueller distance. Different thing entirely. That has to do with the distance at which a defender would be seriously endangered by an attacker with a contact weapon, It has absolutely nothing to do with a space that one can define in any way as one's own.

No, one does not want crackheads or MDPs to get too close. But unless I have a basis for a reasonable belief they present an overt threat, my recourse is limited to a polite request and to moving away.

What Old Dog used to teach is excellent advice.

Apparently you are confused about a great many things. I brought up Tueller as a comparitive time/distance metric to show that YES, there is a correlation between proximity and danger. Read it again Oh Grand Poobah, and then realize what my message was, not the one you're trying to make it.