Fit is going to be far more important than material here.
That's really the crux of the issue that we wood grip lovers try to make. I don't think ti's the material so much as the fit to the shooter's hand.
My example:
My S&W L frame 357's get Nill Grips on them. The reason I went with Nill is that I'd tried rubber and wood from another company. Plain and simple, they all felt great in the hand, until I pulled the trigger. Then the gun rocked around in my hand and beat the hell out of the web of my hand, and left it aching for days. Nill Grips have a variety of sizes and most importantly for me, they offer grips that cover the backstrap. I have large hands, and having a grip that fills my hand properly so the gun isn't rocking around is very important. I also have boney fingers that give me a bit weaker grip than some folks my size. Having a properly fit grip that helps keep the gun stationary also helps keep the knuckle on my middle finger from being beat up.
On the other end, my 460 magnum came with a full size rubber grip that leaves the backstrap closed, and fills my hand. That is an extreme example of recoil, and the shock running through the gun still makes my hands hurt a little after a rapid fire exercise, but my hand never seems to experience much for lasting effects. I want to put some wood grips on it also, but honestly the rubber grips just happen to fit my hand well. I'd like to do it also purely as an experiment for thread topics such as this one, but the ones I want are over $200, so I don't see myself doing it right now.
Both my 10mm pistols have laminate or G10 on them. I don't start getting a sore hand with full power ammo until about the 200 round mark, but part of that is due to the weight of the gun.
The most important part is that whatever size person you are, a gun that fits your hand is going to do the best job of mitigating recoil and keeping your hand in good condition. I don't really believe the true benefit is in the pliability of the material, but in that a properly fit grip fills the voids where a gun can beat on you.
There is certainly such a thing as a grip that is too large also, but in my experience this usually leads to poor control of the gun as a person may have a less than optimal grip to hold on to the firearm. Then the gun can be rocking around anyway. This is what my ex-girlfriend experienced when she wanted to shoot one of my larger guns. My hands were much larger than hers (she was a foot shorter, so proportions), so she had a hard time holding onto the grip I'd put on the gun.
Rubber grips that FIT your hand can be alright for shooting, and there is certainly a bit of benefit to them being tacky feeling and pliable for those that need help holding onto the gun. However, I think some folks apply them as a band aide and pick the same size grip, which is really negating much of the benefit. If you want to see if the grip of a revolver is suited to you, ignore how it "feels". Unload and safety check the gun. Grip it one handed as if you were ready to fire. Then with your off hand, push on the muzzle of the gun. If you feel it moving on the web of your hand, I'd say the grip is too small and will likely rub that part of your hand raw. If you feel the grip of your pinky or ring finger giving, the grip may be too big. For semiautos, I fund trigger finger contact to be a good indicator. If your finger naturally slides through past the first knuckle, I think your grip is too small, and you are going to have a hell of a time keeping your finger where it belongs. This will probably lead to a reduction in accuracy or speed as you are readjusting. If the first pad of your finger, and in my opinion the crease of your first knuckle, is resting on the trigger, you are probably ok. I have never experienced a semiauto too large for me, though the Dessert Eagle felt pretty blocky. That may be due to the lack of meat on my fingers though.
Just my take on it.
