Carrying on a date, or having a drink...

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ShooterMcGavin

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I am new to carrying. I have a couple questions, and want to hear some of your thoughts...

1. If you are carrying on a date (with a girl who does not know that you carry) and she suggests going to a bar, how do you get out of that situation (i.e. carrying in a bar)? Do you pop the trunk, sit on the bumper, and pretend that nothing is happening as you place your gun in the trunk? ...or, do you just suggest doing something else, leaving her wondering why you got 'weird'?

I suppose I would try to find a time when she was distracted (if possible), pop the trunk, and put the gun there (locked, of course). If she asked, I'd tell her the truth. Actually, I don't think I could slip it past her. I would be putting stuff in the trunk, clearing the gun, and locking the trunk. That's what I would do.

2. If you are out with friends or a date, carrying (of course), will you have a drink with dinner?

On that last point... I ride a motorcycle. When I will be riding away from "the event" (dinner, a party, etc.), I will not have even a single drink. There are NO exceptions. Yes, my friends give me a little crap for it and I do not care.
 
If it's legal, just carry it and keep the alcohol moderate as you would before driving (another object that can be used for nefarious purposes if the operator behind it tells it to).

Option two is just to suggest going elsewhere - for example if your state has a 50% rule, suggest going to Apple Bee's for a beer or Olive Garden for a glass o' wine. If things are going really well, suggest stopping at an off-sale and going back to your place.

Option three is to disarm. If one tries for discretion and the date sees it, my estimation is that that could turn out worse than explaining that you have training in the safe handling of firearms and have undergone testing to get a permit to carry legally for the protection of yourself and those you care about.

Personally I'd go with option three, and I'd be open about it. If there's chemistry there she's going to find out eventually anyway, and if legal gun ownership/carry is such a big issue as to keep her from going out on a second date, then her and I simply weren't meant to be.
 
Carrying is not legal here in areas designated 21+. Restaurants that serve are perfectly legal.

I firmly believe that any girl who is with me on a first or second date (probably out to 10 dates or more), even if there is great chemistry, would be instantly and completely be turned off to learn that I carry. That's my answer. It's kinda pointless for me to ask a dating question anyways. I guess it was just a hypothetical. Nevermind.
 
"1. If you are carrying on a date (with a girl who does not know that you carry) and she suggests going to a bar, how do you get out of that situation (i.e. carrying in a bar)?"
I'd tell her she would have to pay the tab, and that I'm a heavy drinker, and that I get ticked off to no end when drinking - in that order. If one of those things does not cause her to change her mind, I would personally change females.

"2. If you are out with friends or a date, carrying (of course), will you have a drink with dinner?"
Nope. Not a drinker for one (I drink copious amounts whenever I drink, and thus steer clear of al-kee-hawl), and I'm pretty sure it's illegal for another (in Texas). I'd (possibly) take the moral high ground, and preach about how eeeevil fire-water is. Then I'd leave with the gal who agreed with me. If there was none, I'd "wipe the dust off my feet - it'll be easier for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgement than it will be for Bubba and Betty-Jo" - from the Bible, the Redneck International Version.

Of course, I'm the type that would police brass in the middle of a firefight, too. And check the time, to make sure I wasn't late for a TV show.
 
I firmly believe that any girl who is with me on a first or second date (probably out to 10 dates or more), even if there is great chemistry, would be instantly and completely be turned off to learn that I carry. That's my answer. It's kinda pointless for me to ask a dating question anyways. I guess it was just a hypothetical. Nevermind.
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Hey man, I didn't mean to pee your Corn Flakes. If you wanna wait before springing something like that, it's your perogative. I just personally consider a colossal time saver to figure out where she stands right away, but YMMV.

Edited to add: The part of the country you live in could have a lot do with the odds of receiving a good response - the typical small town or country girl from ND is going to consider it a non-issue, if not like you all the more for being into shooting/looking out for her.
 
CCW first date

First, Drinking(any at all) + handguns/guns-NO:what:
The dating and handguns thing?(is that a gun in your pants or are just happy to see me?):neener: Keep it to yourself till you know her better.
 
If you are carrying on a date (with a girl who does not know that you carry)...
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I don't go out with women I don't know and don't know me, and can't imagine wanting to go out with a woman who didn't a.) know I'm a shooter, and b.) have a positive attitude toward shooting.

Over the years, I've wasted a truly horrendous amount of time on women who simply weren't compatible with me, and don't care to waste any more.
 
don't assume your girl will be turned off by you carrying. i was kinda feeling the same thing since i started dating again about 5 months ago but it turned out to be a non issue. on the first date, when she asks what you like to do or about you hobbies, let her know you like to shoot. you can get a good feel for what her reaction might be when she learns you carry from that. it didn't bother the girl i'm seeing now one bit to learn that i carried. i told her after 3 or 4 dates i think. she was a little surprised to learn that i was carrying on all our dates, she had no idea, but didn't have any beef with it at all. she wants to come shooting with me sometime. not all women are affraid/ignorant of guns. if you can, just stick to the restaurant areas for the first few dates, where you can still have a glass of wine with dinner if you choose and you can still carry. after you break the "i carry" ice, and she knows to expect it, then just disarm in the car, lock it in the glove box or whatever and head into the bar.

on a side note, i ride too and i never touch alcohol while on two wheels either. and just like you, my friends give me garbage about it, but oh well. pride heals faster than road rash.

Bobby
 
First, Drinking(any at all) + handguns/guns-NO
Keep it to yourself till you know her better.
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Essentially, your point is to choose one or the other - make the decision to leave the gun at home OR insist that the date does not lead to a bar.
 
I openly say: "I'll hafta disarm first..." then I stash the gun in the car. This opens up conversation about carrying and an opportunity to explain what the law here allows.


I've drunk driven countless times, but only once on my motorcycle. I awoke to find myself riding down the street, bent over, with my head next to my right ankle and 6 inches from the road at 35mph. NEVER AGAIN! I never drink if I'm gonna be riding anymore.
 
Essentially, your point is to choose one or the other - make the decision to leave the gun at home OR insist that the date does not lead to a bar.
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No, don't leave the gun home, if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
I don't leave home without it.
Don't know the laws in WA, but best advised to not drink alchohol-period, while carrying. Make sure you can carry where she wants to go, as long as you are not drinking alcohol.

Hope this helps.:)
 
Don't know the laws in WA, but best advised to not drink alchohol-period, while carrying.
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Agreed. That being said, I've looked all over for a law prohibiting alcohol consumtion while drinking and can't find one.

Chapter 9.41 RCW
Firearms and dangerous weapons


(1) It is unlawful for any person to enter the following places when he or she knowingly possesses or knowingly has under his or her control a weapon:
(d) That portion of an establishment classified by the state liquor control board as off-limits to persons under twenty-one years of age;
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So Applebees would be ok if you don't enter the bar, etc.
 
"Yes, my friends give me a little crap for it and I do not care."

No crap here. Driving a car with a drink or two in you is one thing. A car has four wheels. You don't have to keep your balance. Subtract two wheels, and things get hairy, even on a bicycle. In NJ, you can get a DWI on a bicycle. As a matter of fact, here in Lautenbourg, you can get a DWI on foot. I kid you not.

If you refuse to go to a bar, she's going to think you're Amish or something. Unless you're taking the girl to a bank robbery, I would just stash the gun in the car before the date. :D
 
I'd go to the bar and would stick with non-alcoholic drinks. After all, you are driving...right?
This assumes you're in a state that doesn't prohibit carrying in a place that serves alcohol (if I recall correctly, in PA the establishment has to make at least 50% of it's income in liquor sales to be a prohibited to CCW). If that's the case, I'd suggest leaving the gun in the car or being extremely discrete!
 
When I was on the market, I would tell the woman straight up soon after we meet that I carry 24/7. If they left because of that, then there was no wasted effort. If they didn't, and responded favorable to me carrying, then all is good.

The woman I have been with for almost 2 years actully patted me down when we met, to make sure I was carrying. LOL

Sparky
 
Definitely agree with psy and standing wolf...not to put it in a bad light or anything, but I consider guns and CCW to be one of many things I like to get out early...truly a time saver at the end of the day. I'd rather find out if she's not interested on a second date than realize we're incompatible a month down the road when I have more invested in the relationship...
 
I don't drink and I have no desire to go into a bar. To top that off....I've been more interested in guns than women the past few years and haven't had the desire to date......Do I need help?
 
I am new to carrying. I have a couple questions, and want to hear some of your thoughts...

1) If you are carrying on a date (with a girl who does not know that you carry) and she suggests going to a bar, how do you get out of that situation (i.e. carrying in a bar)?

2) ...or, do you just suggest doing something else, leaving her wondering why you got 'weird'?

3) I would be putting stuff in the trunk, clearing the gun, and locking the trunk.

4) If you are out with friends or a date, carrying (of course), will you have a drink with dinner?

5) On that last point... I ride a motorcycle. When I will be riding away from "the event" (dinner, a party, etc.), I will not have even a single drink. There are NO exceptions. Yes, my friends give me a little crap for it and I do not care.
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1) I just say not thanks, let's go to ... instead.

2) Why would doing something other than going to a bar be "weird"?

3) If I need to put my gun in the trunk why would I clear it? It's not going to go off by itself is it?

4) I don't drink and drive, I don't drink and carry, no exceptions.

5) See #4
 
loki.fish said:
I don't drink and I have no desire to go into a bar. To top that off....I've been more interested in guns than women the past few years and haven't had the desire to date......Do I need help?
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I'm in a very similar situation. While I do love drinking, I avoid bars like the plague and confine my drinking to my house and parties at friend's places. And yes, I too am presently more interested in guns than women. The way I see it, virtually all women hard-wired to want kids. Those that aren't are few and far between. Kids would end up sucking up all of my time and money that could be better spent (among my many other uber expensive hobbies) aquiring and shooting guns. :p
 
Being a guy who doesn't drink and can't stand bars, the solution is simple!
But then again, any girl I date will already know this about me, and the question wont even come up, and would also know about my CCW status (Currently only 20).
 
I don't carry, not yet anyway. I will get my CCW soon, just so I can carry a pistol in my car when going on road trips. I will eventually get something small enough to carry on my person and start carrying, on ocassion.

In the situatuion you describe, I would probably just carry some pepper spray when I was on dates or something similar. I don't think any woman is put off by pepper spray. A lot of women have some.

I think that most women would consider it a little odd if you had a gun on your person during an early (one of the first few) date. Carrying a gun with you isn't one of the first things to talk about when you aren't even sure if you really like somebody yet. If I went out with a woman that I hardly knew, I'd have thoughts of why she had the gun on the date.

I also think that most women would want to end the date with some guy that could be crazy (for all they know) and has a gun with him. That's even if they wouldn't mind a guy carrying a gun after they have been dating a while.

That's my opinion. Who knows, some women might be turned on by it! It takes all kinds...
 
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