Dating & Concealed Carry
- Thread starter WhiteKnight
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When my squeeze and I started talking he knew I was interested in shooting as well as obtaining my CHL. For our first date we went to a small gun & knife show in the area and took our time looking at the wares on display. After dinner and a movie (American Gangster) we parted with a hug and I didn’t notice anything amiss (partial embrace on his “weak” side). Our second date was to a local LEO shooting range to punch paper since I hadn’t shot anything in quite a while and wanted to get back into it. While there he did a bit of practice with his CCW. Up to that point I hadn’t been aware he’d been carrying. Personally, I didn’t think twice about it, not then, and not now. It simply was.
I suppose having grown up around firearms, instilled in the basics, and having a parent with a CHL diminishes or even obliterates the shock factor of learning that someone carries. Naturally, this can be dependant on what you know of the person. Then again, it’s been pointed out to me that I’m not really a shockable person.
I would not want to be with someone who is anti. It’s definitely not my style and I like being able to exercise my right to keep and bear arms.
I suppose having grown up around firearms, instilled in the basics, and having a parent with a CHL diminishes or even obliterates the shock factor of learning that someone carries. Naturally, this can be dependant on what you know of the person. Then again, it’s been pointed out to me that I’m not really a shockable person.
I would not want to be with someone who is anti. It’s definitely not my style and I like being able to exercise my right to keep and bear arms.
never_retreat
Member
Just tell them your in law enforcement. Technically were all in law enforcement so your really not lying,
LightningJoe
Member
Two kinds of women, long-term investment and short-term gratification. With the latter kind, you're free to present yourself as whatever will work best. Leave your gun home if it's a problem.
With the long-term investment kind, you're better off being yourself, gun and all. My wife never touched a gun in her life and comes from a country that would be Chuck Shumer's dream, but I honestly can't remember how she became aware that I have a gun on me 24/7. Had the gun been a show-stopper for her, though, she'd have a different address now.
With the long-term investment kind, you're better off being yourself, gun and all. My wife never touched a gun in her life and comes from a country that would be Chuck Shumer's dream, but I honestly can't remember how she became aware that I have a gun on me 24/7. Had the gun been a show-stopper for her, though, she'd have a different address now.
takhtakaal
Member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2007
- Messages
- 853
LightningJoe said:
Wow, what a deep thought.
Be straight up with someone that you care about, because their feelings should matter to you deeply. Get to it before the third date, at least, and don't build it up like you're about to tell them that you have leukemia or something. Tell them privately, away from the rush of people around you, but not so far away that they feel at all trapped, that you take your personal security seriously, and that to that end you have a license to carry a firearm. This will give them the opportunity to walk away, if they so choose, which is their right.
If they ask why, explain simply that, as you said before, you take your personal security very seriously, intimating that it extends in a bit of a bubble around you. If it helps to explain an incident that was a personal epiphany in this regard, do so simply, without drama. If you think it helps to discuss whatever training you've had, do so, in the most neutral manner possible. If they have misgivings, explain to them your concern for truthful dealings and their happiness and sense of security.
At this point, you may be told that the hunk of iron on your hip is a deal-breaker. If this happens, take it gracefully, smile, wish them well, and walk away. Don't allow them to present you with a "me or it" ultimatum. It never comes out for the best.
10 Ring Tao
Member
Be unashamed. Talk about it openly. Don't bring it up unless the conversation comes around to it. If she discovers it, act completely natural, as if she had found nothing more remarkable than your wallet.
As others have said, don't waste your time with anyone remotely anti. Its way too tempting for a girl to accept something early on, with the plan of changing you and trying to get you to 'give it up' as time goes on.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/711919/amita_at_the_pit/ = Our third date.
Taking her to the range early on, within the first few dates, was a mainstay of my dating life.
As others have said, don't waste your time with anyone remotely anti. Its way too tempting for a girl to accept something early on, with the plan of changing you and trying to get you to 'give it up' as time goes on.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/711919/amita_at_the_pit/ = Our third date.
Taking her to the range early on, within the first few dates, was a mainstay of my dating life.
ColinthePilot
Member
I've always been open about it. I don't tell everyone that I carry and I tell fewer when I'm carrying(unless they saw me put it on, or we're at the range, they don't know). But I consider it our responsibility to talk about our guns and shooting in order to recruit more shooters, so a lot of people know I have guns. Every girl I have dated since I've owned guns has known about my hobby. The ones I've been serious with know there's a pistol next to the bed and a rifle in the corner. Its never been a problem.
soccergod04
Member
Wait, who says I'm not?
Well, minus the weirdo part anyway.geophysicishooter
Member
This is a topic I've had to deal with rather recently.. The woman I'm with right now is great.
I don't carry all the time. I don't carry at bars, which were the setting for, well, most of our 'dates'. So in those instances, it really hasn;t been an issue. She knew pretty early on that I was into guns since I post pictures of my targets on myspace occasionally and it came up a couple of times. But I do carry when I go on the road.
So this past week when we went camping, I was carrying my 4" 1911 iwb the whole drive up. I was carrying it when I picked her up. I was carrying it when we went to the store to pick up a few necessaries. I was carrying it when we went to the house where she was taking care of her friends' dogs and where I had to pick a dozen or so ticks off of the dogs with a pair of nail clippers (worked well, btw, I might add). I wore it all the way up to where we camped. It wasn't untill we had made camp and had gotten settled in and I decided it was ok to take the gun off my belt that she knew I was carrying. She asked to see it. Asked what it was, how it worked, was a little taken aback when she realized that I carried it in the cocked and locked condition but when I showed her how the safties worked, she seemed to take to it. I obliged all her questions and curioisities. Showed her how to clear the chamber and render it 'safe'. Said she hadn't handled an auto pistol before. She grew up in a ranching and farming community and had thus been exposed to firearms early on.
All in all, she wasn't freaked out all that much when she learned I carried a pistol. I told her that her and I hanging out and being together would mean that in many or most places where it is legal for me to carry a gun with my handgun license, I would be and that she would have to be ok with that.
Try this.. when you're out somewhere and you get carded, say at the door or at the bar, hand the bar keep or doorman your CHL instead of your DL as if by accident. Most bartenders and doormen aren'y used to seeing CHL's as ID so he or she will hesitate at it, at which point you step in and say "Oh, did I not give you my driver's license? Here it is. Sorry 'bout that"
If she's paying attention, and if she's interested, she'll ask questions about it "what's that? what kind of license did you give him? Oh, it's a concealed handgun license... Are you carrying now?"
"Oh, well, that's not really a question that's good to give the answer to other than to say that it's not legal to carry in here and I'd like to keep my license.
You'll know right then and there whether she's "down with the cause"
good luck and happy hunting!!
Oh and as a final note, she asked if we could go shooting sometime. I think she likes my 'pistol'
I don't carry all the time. I don't carry at bars, which were the setting for, well, most of our 'dates'. So in those instances, it really hasn;t been an issue. She knew pretty early on that I was into guns since I post pictures of my targets on myspace occasionally and it came up a couple of times. But I do carry when I go on the road.
So this past week when we went camping, I was carrying my 4" 1911 iwb the whole drive up. I was carrying it when I picked her up. I was carrying it when we went to the store to pick up a few necessaries. I was carrying it when we went to the house where she was taking care of her friends' dogs and where I had to pick a dozen or so ticks off of the dogs with a pair of nail clippers (worked well, btw, I might add). I wore it all the way up to where we camped. It wasn't untill we had made camp and had gotten settled in and I decided it was ok to take the gun off my belt that she knew I was carrying. She asked to see it. Asked what it was, how it worked, was a little taken aback when she realized that I carried it in the cocked and locked condition but when I showed her how the safties worked, she seemed to take to it. I obliged all her questions and curioisities. Showed her how to clear the chamber and render it 'safe'. Said she hadn't handled an auto pistol before. She grew up in a ranching and farming community and had thus been exposed to firearms early on.
All in all, she wasn't freaked out all that much when she learned I carried a pistol. I told her that her and I hanging out and being together would mean that in many or most places where it is legal for me to carry a gun with my handgun license, I would be and that she would have to be ok with that.
Try this.. when you're out somewhere and you get carded, say at the door or at the bar, hand the bar keep or doorman your CHL instead of your DL as if by accident. Most bartenders and doormen aren'y used to seeing CHL's as ID so he or she will hesitate at it, at which point you step in and say "Oh, did I not give you my driver's license? Here it is. Sorry 'bout that"
If she's paying attention, and if she's interested, she'll ask questions about it "what's that? what kind of license did you give him? Oh, it's a concealed handgun license... Are you carrying now?"
"Oh, well, that's not really a question that's good to give the answer to other than to say that it's not legal to carry in here and I'd like to keep my license.
You'll know right then and there whether she's "down with the cause"
good luck and happy hunting!!
Oh and as a final note, she asked if we could go shooting sometime. I think she likes my 'pistol'
Dan Forrester
Member
I really don’t see what the big deal is. I live in Palm Beach County Florida (hanging chad) and I’ve never had a problem. I guess carrying a gun just goes with my personality. I have such varying interests anyway. To a girl it’s just another crazy thing about me. In a way I guess you could say it rounds me out. I could be talking about fine wines, or eastern religion one minute and my new 40mm M203 the next. Just be up front with them. As my friend tells them “I’m going to smell like scotch, there’s going to be a gun in my waste band, and I’m going to try to stick my finger up your !@#$” He pulls it off because he’s a classy guy and he says what he does with style. You guys are being too nice. Be a man!!! That’s what girls want anyway. It’s not very difficult to work the gun thing to your advantage.
I’ve never had an anti-gun girl friend. I’ve had one after another of the girls that I guess you guys are looking for. I don’t want a girl who dresses around her CCW. I’m not looking for a new shooting buddy. I don’t offer to take them shooting or to a gun show. I let them ask me to take them first. Then I tell them NO! They just want to go even worse.
Dan
I’ve never had an anti-gun girl friend. I’ve had one after another of the girls that I guess you guys are looking for. I don’t want a girl who dresses around her CCW. I’m not looking for a new shooting buddy. I don’t offer to take them shooting or to a gun show. I let them ask me to take them first. Then I tell them NO! They just want to go even worse.
Dan
stevelyn
Member
Be true to yourself.
I have three areas that I absolutely do not and will not negotiate in. Guns are one of them.
There's too many women out there to compromise your ideals with one that is less than supportive or at least tolerant.
The gun thing needs to be disclosed early so you'll know whether or not you are wasting your time.
I have three areas that I absolutely do not and will not negotiate in. Guns are one of them.
There's too many women out there to compromise your ideals with one that is less than supportive or at least tolerant.
The gun thing needs to be disclosed early so you'll know whether or not you are wasting your time.
kd7nqb
Member
I am pretty upfront about it, but I was lucky and my last GF carried as well so it was not an issue.
wheelgunslinger
Member
First rule: Don't assume that's her gun sticking into your hip, the way Ace Ventura did!
And, if she's a keeper, then you'll need to be upfront with her.
If she's just after you because you're a hot piece of man candy, then you'll need to be upfront with her.
Honesty is the best policy.
Treat guns like what they are: A responsibility shouldered by mature adults that, of course, belong in your life.
Just because she's a female doesn't mean she has an aversion to guns. Her dad may have them, she may have grown up shooting, and she may be able to teach you some things.
And, if she's a keeper, then you'll need to be upfront with her.
If she's just after you because you're a hot piece of man candy, then you'll need to be upfront with her.
Honesty is the best policy.
Treat guns like what they are: A responsibility shouldered by mature adults that, of course, belong in your life.
Just because she's a female doesn't mean she has an aversion to guns. Her dad may have them, she may have grown up shooting, and she may be able to teach you some things.
My first date with my now wife I told her that I had to stop at a gun store to pick up a gun before we went out. She even went with me to pick it up. Now she has her own .38 Spl and shoots with me regularly. My point is there are many ways to tell someone in a very nonchalant fashion that you own and/or carry a firearm. I agree with many others though that you are who you are, and it does no good to try to deceive someone or change yourself to accomodate another's view on things this important.
Tom Fury
Member
Taught my wife to shoot; S&W 6906. She squares up to the target at 7 yards and Bam! Bam! Bam! You could cover the group with a Quarter. She says: "Is that good?" I think they have a natural eye hand thing goin' on personally.
Anyway, the point was she actually enjoyed it her ownself, and many other days after that. I was pleased to be able to share something I Knew was fun with her; point is;
She Liked It: it was a good thing.
cheers, TF
Anyway, the point was she actually enjoyed it her ownself, and many other days after that. I was pleased to be able to share something I Knew was fun with her; point is;
She Liked It: it was a good thing.
cheers, TF
rjohnson4405
Member
This thread has been exemplifying why the High Road is such a great place!
Personally I don't get physical girls too far until marriage so I probably won't have this problem. She'll probably know me pretty well (and my gun views) before we have enough contact to find me armed.
However, I have found that the type of girl I am attracted to is usually pretty logical which means she tends to agree with me about gun control, especially after level-headed conversation.
Now, if she's the flavor of the week for you I don't think I can give you much advice but according to the movies being a mysterious government agent with a gun can't hurt
-Russ
Personally I don't get physical girls too far until marriage so I probably won't have this problem. She'll probably know me pretty well (and my gun views) before we have enough contact to find me armed.
However, I have found that the type of girl I am attracted to is usually pretty logical which means she tends to agree with me about gun control, especially after level-headed conversation.
Now, if she's the flavor of the week for you I don't think I can give you much advice but according to the movies being a mysterious government agent with a gun can't hurt
-Russ
jakemccoy
Member
I bring up guns, among other things, early on. It helps me filter women and saves me potential months or years of frustration.
Looking at this from the female perspective, before I consider dating somebody, I make real sure he knows what he's getting himself into.
Since I have one of those jobs where my working hours are "all of them," I usually meet people through work. The gun photos, keeper targets, and gun school diplomas in my office are a pretty good indication of my interests, as are the photos of my horses and dogs. None of these things are negotiable.
I'm also rude and blunt enough to say right out, "What you see is what you get. If you can't deal with any of it, there's the door." I've seen too many people give up huge parts of themselves because a spouse or whatever asked/demanded it. Those relationships never go well.
My more-or-less Significant Other also carries a 1911, although I'm the one who always carries, and I shoot, train, and compete a lot more than he does. I also have a couple of Very Good Friends: one is a retired Army Ranger and LEO and the other came from Navy special ops. No gun phobias there.
Since I have one of those jobs where my working hours are "all of them," I usually meet people through work. The gun photos, keeper targets, and gun school diplomas in my office are a pretty good indication of my interests, as are the photos of my horses and dogs. None of these things are negotiable.
I'm also rude and blunt enough to say right out, "What you see is what you get. If you can't deal with any of it, there's the door." I've seen too many people give up huge parts of themselves because a spouse or whatever asked/demanded it. Those relationships never go well.
My more-or-less Significant Other also carries a 1911, although I'm the one who always carries, and I shoot, train, and compete a lot more than he does. I also have a couple of Very Good Friends: one is a retired Army Ranger and LEO and the other came from Navy special ops. No gun phobias there.
larry_minn
Member
Also not a problem for me anymore. When I was dating I would not carry on first date. Gun stayed under seat in car.
Well with wife there was a minor incident and I got it out. (and wife was glad I had it along) Thing is a 2 ton car was able to remove us from situation much better then Glock.
Well with wife there was a minor incident and I got it out. (and wife was glad I had it along) Thing is a 2 ton car was able to remove us from situation much better then Glock.
Templar223
Member
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2005
- Messages
- 309
WhiteKnight:
If a woman is so hoplophobic that she wants nothing to do with you because you carry a gun legally, then what good is she to you? Are you wanting to date & maybe marry helpless, urban dependency types?
Tip for the day: There are more ladies out there than you can shake a stick at. Some are going to be smarter than average. Shop from that pool, Mr. Knight, and leave the lesser fish to someone else who doesn't know any better.
John
thebaldguy
Member
Find a woman who's ok with firearms now rather than later. A friend of mine is thinking about buying a shotgun for hunting (he's been borrowing friends' guns for years) and his wife refuses to let him bring any type of firearm in the house. This was never discussed during dating or marriage until recently. No logic will change her mind at all, so now he has to decide if he wants a gun or a wife.
Don't be that guy.
Don't be that guy.
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