Dating, Firearms and Reality
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Kragax
Member
Having been married twice, In my opinion they are just not worth the trouble.....and I don't mean the guns.
geronimo509
Member
I guess Im lucky, my wife loved them, in fact she was shooting clays while she was like 8 months pregnant(i really need to find that picture). she was from texas. my father in law gave me a revolver for HD and bought be an XD45 too. after some tragedy, my g/f now keeps asking me to go shooting. its really cool. I always have it on and she only minds when we sitting together on my couch(digs into her) if we go anywhere I make sure she stays on my weak side lol. I do not think I could date an anti. it just wouldnt work. its funny too because she is from NY. now her parents dont know that I carry, i still need to feel them out a little more before i tell them that. However, im a good talker and im sure I can show them some numbers, like ccw holders are less likely to be a criminal and places like nyc, chicago, and cali have much higher crime rates becuase only criminals have guns. I am so lucky that i am in a relationship that she understands why i feel the need to carry and to have a lot of guns in the house. If she is not for firearms then there is no need to date her! for me Dating, Firearms, and Reality= a great time!
She'd have to have some kind of mark on her or proof. They don't just arrest you 'cause she said so. Or you could claim the same.
In my house it would go something like this: Honey, I don't like your guns being in (my) house, you need to get rid of them.
Me: Not a chance in hell, if you'd like to live in a gun free house I'll help you pack your stuff.
In a relationship I consider ourselves equal. If the woman thinks she can take charge, she can take a hike. Too many guys are whipped, and I don't like it.
Ben Shepherd
Member
My firearms(and the self sufficient ways and mind-set that come with them) and my religion are non-negotiable. It's who I am, and it's a package deal. This is made perfectly clear very early on if I'm dating someone.
No different then someone who is a cat or dog person marrying someone who DOES NOT want animals in the house. It's an issue, a big one. And in all most all cases, sooner or later(hopefully sooner) it's a deal breaker.
No different then someone who is a cat or dog person marrying someone who DOES NOT want animals in the house. It's an issue, a big one. And in all most all cases, sooner or later(hopefully sooner) it's a deal breaker.
benEzra
Moderator Emeritus
My wife was mildly anti when we met (wasn't particularly comfortable with guns, and didn't particularly like them), stemming from her upbringing---long story. But she knew I owned guns, and while she wasn't particularly comfortable with them, she was willing to accept them as part of the whole package (and she was glad I had them when we had the occasional "bump in the night").
Then I stored a Glock 17 for a semester while a friend attended college, and my wife said "You know, I don't really like guns, but if I did, I think I'd want one like that." Long story short, we went to a range and rented a Glock for her to shoot (she thought the .22LR was boring) and decided she liked shooting, she got a Phoenix Arms Raven for herself as a first gun (fully aware of its limitations, but it was literally all we could afford), soon picked up a pristine 1952 Tula SKS for $99 (the SKS became her HD gun for a while), and she eventually got a Glock 26 and a CHL when finances permitted.
She is not an enthusiast per se, but she went from being mildly anti to very pro-RKBA, and is a very competent shooter and CHL holder. I'd rather have her at my back than many police officers.
However, my wife was never one of the wildly emotional anti's; she is highly intelligent and very logical.
If I were dating again, being a gun enthusiast would still not be a requirement in my book. But I would be honest with women about my own beliefs and choices on the issue, and if a woman were not comfortable with that then obviously we would not be meant for each other.
And if you are in a relationship and one partner gives a "give me my way or else" ultimatum, the relationship is already on life support whether or not the other partner complies. People in healthy relationships don't do that, IMO.
Then I stored a Glock 17 for a semester while a friend attended college, and my wife said "You know, I don't really like guns, but if I did, I think I'd want one like that." Long story short, we went to a range and rented a Glock for her to shoot (she thought the .22LR was boring) and decided she liked shooting, she got a Phoenix Arms Raven for herself as a first gun (fully aware of its limitations, but it was literally all we could afford), soon picked up a pristine 1952 Tula SKS for $99 (the SKS became her HD gun for a while), and she eventually got a Glock 26 and a CHL when finances permitted.
She is not an enthusiast per se, but she went from being mildly anti to very pro-RKBA, and is a very competent shooter and CHL holder. I'd rather have her at my back than many police officers.
However, my wife was never one of the wildly emotional anti's; she is highly intelligent and very logical.
If I were dating again, being a gun enthusiast would still not be a requirement in my book. But I would be honest with women about my own beliefs and choices on the issue, and if a woman were not comfortable with that then obviously we would not be meant for each other.
And if you are in a relationship and one partner gives a "give me my way or else" ultimatum, the relationship is already on life support whether or not the other partner complies. People in healthy relationships don't do that, IMO.
Compatibility is the question, and the principals that you consider part of your fiber. Other than gun owner responsibility such as a childproofing the environment where children are about, or could get to firearms or components...what is the issue? People can be very opposed in thoughts and basic principals, stand on your principals.
againstthagrane
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Most girls I date are initially anti. IMHO, if there is anything real between you and the other person politics are just that, politics. i wouldn't let a good person go just because they don't agree with me on one aspect of life. life is too short.
If i did have the "if she ain't with me she's against me!, hyuck hyuck" mentality i would be no better than the rabid anti's. if guns are the reason for dissent between two people there was never anything there in the first place. most anti's don't like guns because they don't want people they don't TRUST to have guns to have them. if she doesn't TRUST you, what else is there?
now this is all assuming you actually want to BE with this woman. in the case of, ahem, casual encounters, i think less information is better. just don't tell her, who care's what she thinks anyways?
If i did have the "if she ain't with me she's against me!, hyuck hyuck" mentality i would be no better than the rabid anti's. if guns are the reason for dissent between two people there was never anything there in the first place. most anti's don't like guns because they don't want people they don't TRUST to have guns to have them. if she doesn't TRUST you, what else is there?
now this is all assuming you actually want to BE with this woman. in the case of, ahem, casual encounters, i think less information is better. just don't tell her, who care's what she thinks anyways?
crisco
Member
Married a girl who'd never shot so much as a bb gun in her life. I don't think she'd even seen a gun in person.
Now she loves shooting. Just let her some to the conclusions on her own, that way they are her decisions. I may have planted and watered the seeds, but they're her plants.
Now she loves shooting. Just let her some to the conclusions on her own, that way they are her decisions. I may have planted and watered the seeds, but they're her plants.
You're right, an adult determined enough to file a false police report on someone would, no doubt, be stymied by trying to figure out how to get a bruise to support her story...
It doesn't take much and in a he said/she said situation, she almost always wins.
That's not an end, that's just another start.
A woman got her ex fired where I work using the "gun" gambit. It was a pretty ingenious plan--he lost a good job and will never work for the company again. They weren't even living together at the time.
Go ask a lawyer what would happen if your wife/girlfriend went to the authorities with a bruise and claimed you hit her and told them that you had guns.
expvideo
Member
If that's a possibility, you're dating the wrong women.
Being "hot" and being dateable are not the same thing. Hot is only one aspect of dateable, and there has to be more substance there. Don't get me wrong, I've gotten my kicks with some liberal women in my time, but I would never have dated them. And to be fair, my girlfriend is as conservative as I am, and she's gorgeous.
I've had gfs that hated guns, I've had gfs that didn't care, I've had some that think guns are ok but would never own one, I've had ones that own guns and love them, etc.
I've had them all. It's definitely easier having pro-gun gfs because you don't have to answer dumb questions like "Why do you have funs?" or "Why do you need more guns?", etc...
Right now I have one who hasn't really thought about guns but isn't against them. I'll get her to like them someday
I've had them all. It's definitely easier having pro-gun gfs because you don't have to answer dumb questions like "Why do you have funs?" or "Why do you need more guns?", etc...
Right now I have one who hasn't really thought about guns but isn't against them. I'll get her to like them someday
expvideo
Member
My girlfriend is as pro-gun as I am, but she still asks me why I need to buy more guns. I don't think you'll ever escape that. It's more of a financial issue than a pro or anti issue. If guns were free, I'm sure she would be fine with me stacking them to the ceiling. But guns aren't free, so when I want to go out and buy a $500+ gun, she wants to know why I want it. She's very reasonable too, and "why do you want it" doesn't mean "you can't have it", it just means that she wants to know what reasons I have for wanting it that might justify spending that much money.
For example, when I bought my AR-15, I already had an AK. So she asked me why I wanted an AR-15. I told her that I've always wanted one and with Obama being elected it was uncertain if I would have that option for much longer. She was fine with that.
So it's not that she doesn't think I should be buying guns, it's just that she would like to know why I want what I want when it costs that much money. As long as the bills are all current, she's fine with me buying guns.
twoclones
Member
Potential long-term relationship dating. No way. Don't like your politics but still want to do you dating... ? Done that enough. Well, nearly enough
jakemccoy
Member
thanks for the comments
45crittergitter
Member
I married when I was two weeks away from being 44. I have never met anyone anti-gun who was "worth it." There are many very nice ladies who are anti, and I imagine more than a few can be educated and converted. However, I was absolutely unwilling to risk having to live with one. The girl I married likes guns, goes to gun shows, NRA meetings, etc. with me, because she likes it, though she's not a serious shooter. Of course she has many other qualities. However, if she had been anti, this story would not have the same ending.
My girlfriend is anti and we've been together for 7 years so I think it's possible if the other person is willing to live and let live (if nothing else). However, it is not without difficulty...
http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=428149
However, I think greatly differing overall political views would be a much greater challenge.
http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=428149
However, I think greatly differing overall political views would be a much greater challenge.
stevelyn
Member
I've found that those who are outright anti have snakes in their head about other issues too. Life is too short to have to deal with/convert that sort of nonsense and I've kicked many to the curb to punctuate the point.
I've made such an exception one time, and one time only....and I'm happily married to her! We met in college, and she was a city girl raised in a home by a single mother with 2 other sisters. She simply didn't have much exposure to firearms, other than the media, and we all know how that can work against us. At the time, being a college student, my guns were miles away on my parent's ranch. One day, she made the comment about how she'd never want guns in the house. I stopped in my tracks, and simply told her then and there in all seriousness, that, if we were to remain together as a couple, we'd need to come to some sort of solution, because NOT having guns in my home wasn't going to be an option. She was initially resistent, but when every argument or point she tried to make was shot down by facts to the contrary, she began to weaken her views, and soon they were a distant memory. Now, she enjoys shooting, has bought me a firearm, and has one of her own. She's also comfortbale with using a handgun for home defense, and feels weird when we don't have immediate access to a firearm. She supported me getting my ccw and plans to get her permit herself. I didn't give up on her right away, because she was a product of her enviornment. if she had grown up in my shoes, she would have likely been shooting at age 10, but we grew up in two different worlds, and she had little understanding of mine. The viewpoints of a rural kid who grew up having an entire ranch to hunt and shoot on is bound to be different than a city girl raised in a home with no male influences whatsoever, and no one with even a slight interest in firearms. She was ignorant, but willing to learn, and that made all the difference to me.
Now, she's learned to embrace the values I was raised with on the ranch..being self-suffcient, , being prepared for whatever life throws at you, and a lack of dpendence on others for your basic needs. Had she not been willing to learn or expand her horizons, I'd have been quite sad to see her go, because I love her with all my heart...but some things i won't compromise on, and my right to own a gun is one of them.
sums up what I was trying to say, and have proved to be correct!!!
Now, she's learned to embrace the values I was raised with on the ranch..being self-suffcient, , being prepared for whatever life throws at you, and a lack of dpendence on others for your basic needs. Had she not been willing to learn or expand her horizons, I'd have been quite sad to see her go, because I love her with all my heart...but some things i won't compromise on, and my right to own a gun is one of them.
sums up what I was trying to say, and have proved to be correct!!!
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Couldn't care less about what a woman thinks about guns, or politics, or other such irrelevant topics.
If you're talking guns with your dates, you're doing something wrong, IMHO. Having said that, I knew a girl whose bed I ended up in on our first date. She had a gun on the nightstand. It was an esoteric old .45 that I identified immediately. She was amazed and turned-on, and we had a great time.
But that's the exception to the rule. Unless she says she's way into guns you should be talking about stuff that's far, far sexier.
If you're talking guns with your dates, you're doing something wrong, IMHO. Having said that, I knew a girl whose bed I ended up in on our first date. She had a gun on the nightstand. It was an esoteric old .45 that I identified immediately. She was amazed and turned-on, and we had a great time.
But that's the exception to the rule. Unless she says she's way into guns you should be talking about stuff that's far, far sexier.
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