First date and bringing up your hobby
- Thread starter dak0ta
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Plan2Live
Member
^^Huh?
He's trying to get a date! Shhhhhh!
cambeul41
Member
When my wife and I first started dating, I was not involved with guns although I had a couple, so no problem. (I am leaving out a great deal of detail). After she moved to the Detroit area and I followed I learned there that she was, although not really an anti, definately hoplophobic.
A particularly murderous Detroit weekend caused her to suggest that I get my CCW — and she would do so as well for togetherness sake. The range exercise almost totally stressed her out — on at least one occasion I had to hold her wrist and insert a pistol into her hand. When I said "hoplophobic," I meant the "phobic" part.
Now? She forced herself to practice and is now a medium gun-nut and would not consider a job transfer anywhere she could not carry. Her Japanese family are not critical (a couple being shot-gunners).
Moral of the story? Don't rule someone out of you life too soon.
A particularly murderous Detroit weekend caused her to suggest that I get my CCW — and she would do so as well for togetherness sake. The range exercise almost totally stressed her out — on at least one occasion I had to hold her wrist and insert a pistol into her hand. When I said "hoplophobic," I meant the "phobic" part.
Now? She forced herself to practice and is now a medium gun-nut and would not consider a job transfer anywhere she could not carry. Her Japanese family are not critical (a couple being shot-gunners).
Moral of the story? Don't rule someone out of you life too soon.
pillage
Member
Fifteen years ago, I took my now wife shooting for our first date.
shadowen
Member
Its a kind of litmus test for me, however I do carefully ease into the topic. ^_^
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2
centurion20000
Member
I don't really bring it up on a first date unless she does, but if she is hardcore anti-gun I'll drop her on the spot.
Any woman that has a severely irrational case of hoplophobia is probably too stupid to want to breed with. Save yourself some wasted time and move on.
blakec3686
Member
well here in Idaho guns are normal so usually not a problem but I will share a story anyways....im from San Diego and moved here about a year ago to be closer to my father, so when I went out for the first time with my now G/F we hugged but for some odd reason (we laugh about it now) her arms went to my waist instead of my neck...I was carrying my full size 1911 IWB she got a funny look on her face then leaned in really close an whispered in my ear (in a really sexy voice in my opinion) ".357 in my purse" I think that's when I realized I was in trouble! now we cant go to boise for a fun night without stopping at cabelas haha
GermanGirl
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That's great! Who don't like Germann cars? ; ) Thank you, I try to improve my English, I forget a lot in the years after school.@GermanGirl
Vielen dank. Ich habe Deutsch in Schule und Universitaet studiert. Ich mag deutsch Kultur, Musik, Waffen, Autos, und Geschichte.Dein Englisch ist gut auch!
@Havok7416:
Ohhh...
HahaBill_Shelton
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One time, I had a blind date with a buddy and it went like this....
Her: My hobbies are reading, bike riding and arts and crafts. What about you?
Me: I like guns. I collect them and shoot them, and sometimes I kill animals with them - especially small, cute furry animals.
Her: Well, I...don't know what to say...
Me: Say you'll go get me a beer.
Her: What!?
Me: While your up at the bar, get yourself a wine cooler, too.
You just got to learn to sweet talk them.
Her: My hobbies are reading, bike riding and arts and crafts. What about you?
Me: I like guns. I collect them and shoot them, and sometimes I kill animals with them - especially small, cute furry animals.
Her: Well, I...don't know what to say...
Me: Say you'll go get me a beer.
Her: What!?
Me: While your up at the bar, get yourself a wine cooler, too.
You just got to learn to sweet talk them.
Lex Luthier
Member
Am so grateful to be married and don't have to sort this out. It's funny to imagine getting along so well on every level and have it all crash with the subject of steel and brass.
Unidimensional thinking narrows one's universal perspective, but exhibiting a confident, healthy, non-obsessive interest and carrying yourself maturely helps people understand and accept you better. Unfortunately hobbyists (of all types) who do not act this way are the reason we get labelled "XXX nuts". You don't need to be a "nut" about anything.
Unidimensional thinking narrows one's universal perspective, but exhibiting a confident, healthy, non-obsessive interest and carrying yourself maturely helps people understand and accept you better. Unfortunately hobbyists (of all types) who do not act this way are the reason we get labelled "XXX nuts". You don't need to be a "nut" about anything.
OP
OP
dak0ta
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- 2,428
Wow that's hilarious!
Seem Like there are 2 Scools of Thought
The two thoughts here are:
1. Don't bring it up. Feel her out and if you like her then deal with the issue later. If you don't like her, then it doesn't matter.
2. Slam her with it up front. If she doesn't agree then she isn't worth your time.
I would like to add a third option. 3. Don't go into a date selfish. It is a first date, you want to feel each other out and see if there is anything there. Do NOT focus on differences or simulates in hobbies, political views, diet, lifestyle, religion, etc..., just spend some time together and try to enjoy each others company.
I know this is a gun site, but I value marriage much higher than any interest or hobby on this earth. You want to find someone that you can be happy with over any common interest. Some people find love with someone that is completely opposite while others find love with someone that is exactly like themselves. You could find someone that is completely on board with your interest and joins you in everything, or you may find a match with someone that is completely opposite and you argue about everything but at the end of the day you find that you love each other much more than any disagreement.
Now that said you may find someone that while you don't want to spend the rest of you life with, you kinda like hanging out with, so you want to have some common interest. If in this time of just hanging out being friends, you can slowly introduce you interest in guns the world may benefit. You can take someone who has no interest or objection to your hobbies and spark a small interest or even a little knowledge that can later be built upon. Sometimes you may not be the one that harvest the crop of the seeds you have sown, but do not think that the effort was in vain.
The two thoughts here are:
1. Don't bring it up. Feel her out and if you like her then deal with the issue later. If you don't like her, then it doesn't matter.
2. Slam her with it up front. If she doesn't agree then she isn't worth your time.
I would like to add a third option. 3. Don't go into a date selfish. It is a first date, you want to feel each other out and see if there is anything there. Do NOT focus on differences or simulates in hobbies, political views, diet, lifestyle, religion, etc..., just spend some time together and try to enjoy each others company.
I know this is a gun site, but I value marriage much higher than any interest or hobby on this earth. You want to find someone that you can be happy with over any common interest. Some people find love with someone that is completely opposite while others find love with someone that is exactly like themselves. You could find someone that is completely on board with your interest and joins you in everything, or you may find a match with someone that is completely opposite and you argue about everything but at the end of the day you find that you love each other much more than any disagreement.
Now that said you may find someone that while you don't want to spend the rest of you life with, you kinda like hanging out with, so you want to have some common interest. If in this time of just hanging out being friends, you can slowly introduce you interest in guns the world may benefit. You can take someone who has no interest or objection to your hobbies and spark a small interest or even a little knowledge that can later be built upon. Sometimes you may not be the one that harvest the crop of the seeds you have sown, but do not think that the effort was in vain.
Arkansas Paul
Member
I do as well.
Golf is an interest and hobby of mine. If I had to give it up to stay married to my wife, I would in a heartbeat.
Watching baseball and football is an interest of mine. Likewise, I would give it up if I had to.
Firearms ownership is much more than an interest or hobby. Golf and watching sports is not going to protect me in a bad situation. Golf and watching sports won't save my life if the need arises.
Huge difference.
There is absolutely nothing selfish about wanting to be with someone who doesn't hate what you love. That's just common sense.
Negative.
Maybe I'm just getting old and am set in my ways, but I've got more than enough drama in my life already. I'm not coming home at the end of the day to more. Now don't get me wrong, everyone argues, but the day we argue about "everything" is the day we either go to marriage counseling or one of us hits the road.
My wife and I have a wonderful relationship and while we do sometimes argue, it is rare. Psssst..........One of the reasons we rarely do, is that I found someone who shares my interests. Now we don't always agree politically or religiously, but it's not things we argue about.
Life is too short to spend half of it miserable.
Bill_Shelton
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That is the most thoughtful thing I have ever read on a forum.
dak0ta, I think you should remember what was written here, especially in the years to come. You should remember this especially when you find yourself in a courtroom, with your wife, and her attorney, and she is about to take from you most everything you own. And I want you to remember this face - your face - the face with the hopeless, thousand-yard stare of a man who is staring into the pit of hell.
Go for it, dude!
CountGlockula
Member
"Hey baby, I shoot guns...you?"
Keep it simple.
Keep it simple.
kyhunter
Member
well let us know the results man
tomrkba
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- May 30, 2010
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- 2,370
If they ask what you like to do, include it in the response. Note that I said shooting was NOT the entire response. You will have to think of something else you like to do. Remember you are being evaluated, so you should be fun to be around. Do not go into it. Never start talking about rights unless you picked her up at a gun show or NRA convention.
Not all is lost if she is luke warm on shooting. My wife now goes shooting with me every weekend. It took 10 years and she is having fun with it. It took my friend 20 years to get his wife to carry by going over news reports of self-defense.
Not all is lost if she is luke warm on shooting. My wife now goes shooting with me every weekend. It took 10 years and she is having fun with it. It took my friend 20 years to get his wife to carry by going over news reports of self-defense.
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Arkansas Paul
Member
You are both far more patient than I.
FIVETWOSEVEN
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My first date with my Fiancee was shooting. It was just another day at the range for us other than we just started dating.
lightman
Member
Its been a long time since my last "first date", but you usually get to know each other by talking. Jobs, family, hobbies are a few of the things that come to mind. Just bring it up like you would anything else. Oh, I hunt, fish, shoot in competition, like romantic dinners, ect. What about you?
I understand things are different by geographical area. Around here, every girl knows that every guy hunts or shoots. There will be a gun or two in every farm truck. Lots of the girls will hunt or shoot, too! Gotta love small town Southern living!!! Lightman
I understand things are different by geographical area. Around here, every girl knows that every guy hunts or shoots. There will be a gun or two in every farm truck. Lots of the girls will hunt or shoot, too! Gotta love small town Southern living!!! Lightman
I started dating my wife my sr year HS. She was a total city girl and never seen a gun in real life. Our 3rd date was me taking her 2 hours up into the mountains to a pistol match. She was awsome curious but cautios. Now 30 years later she has a .38 snubby in her nightstand and A very nice gold inlaid 20g skeet gun For our company sporting clays outings that she organizes. She's totally at home with my everyday carry, our family shoots that involve tannerite, full auto etc..
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