Very Sorry for you loss
I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my 13 year old son (only child) about 8 years ago to a car/bike accident & learned a couple things that I offer up for your thoughts. You will find that the loss of your son will create a hole in your life that can't be filled. No one, not your wife, other children, family, friends or anything else can fill it. Your wife & family members will be going through grief at the same time as you, but everyone does it at their own pace. You may be up when your wife is down or vice versa. You really, really need to realize that you need to give each other all the loving support and patience that you can muster. All kinds of people will "Should on you". Listen & accept what sounds like it fits your life, but remember, it's your grief journey & only you decide what's right for you. Over time you may wish to talk to others who have been through the loss of a child to help you get out the feelings that you can't share with most people. One of the best organizations out there is "The Compassionate Friends:, an organization dedicated to/run by people who have lost children. You can find them on the web, or I would be happy to give you the contact information. Again I am very sorry for your loss and wish that God's healing grace be with you always. Tim