I've taught several women to shoot. Would never DREAM of teaching my wife though. That my friend is a marital minefield. Paying for a half hour of an instructor's time would be well worth while.
I have used the "ground school technique". I find it puts someone at ease and makes them feel like they have a clue what they are doing before they hold the power of life and death, literally, in their hands. If I took someone who had never handled a gun before and put a loaded one in their hands and told them "now SHOOT!" I would expect them to have a meltdown. When you say "watch the slide!" will they be confused trying to remember what the slide is or what to watch for? They should have all this down pat before you get anywhere near the range. You don't have to spend all day droning on and on... but cover a few basics like "a bullet is not going to explode if you drop it" and "if the gun falls, don't try to catch it" and things like that. Give her an idea how hard it will kick - so she won't be afraid of landing on her butt looking ridiculous but also so she will know "oh, so that's what it feels like" - I usually have them take a stance and push suddenly and abruptly on their clasped hands about as hard as the gun kicks. They are usually surprised it is so mild after having seen cartoons. You can manage this in an hour or less and really put them at ease about holding a weapon. The only difference at the range, is that there are now real bullets in the firearm. Everyone I've taught this way has gone on to become an enthusiastic shooter.
A revolver is a kind way to start a novice out. You pull the trigger, a bullet comes out the end, there is a bit of a kick - nothing else happens. No problems with limp-wrist, poorly seated magazines, no slide to watch out for, just the 4 rules and aim at the bullseye. Simple. When you are starting from ZERO, it's a lot less to remember. I haven't met anyone who had trouble managing the recoil of .38 special after having started on a .22 revolver, not even a sub-100 lb twigg gal who had hand-strength issues. This gal could not rack the slide on any of the guns we tried... but she could wield a revolver up to .38 just fine.
