Unsettling Dream Last Night

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Bobson

Bobson

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Last night, I had a somewhat unsettling dream that left me thinking about a few things when I woke up. The dream played out like a movie, which I sort of "watched," rather than "acted." Hope that makes sense.

Here's the dream, and then I'll get to the question:

It's Sunday afternoon. My wife and I are getting ready to leave home on our way to church. As we're approaching the front door, I notice a guy has pulled in front of the house with a green truck. I don't know why I know this, but in the dream, I know the guy thinks the house is empty, and he plans to break in and burglarize the house. At this point in the dream, he is actively trying to pry the front door open with a crowbar. For whatever reason, he doesn't see my wife or I on the inside of the door, despite a glass window in the top of it (which we see him through).

My reaction in the dream was to have my wife hide behind the couch (don't ask me why there, I wouldn't do that IRL), while she calls the police. Meanwhile, I grab a handgun and wait for the guy to get inside the house. In the dream, I was thinking that if I scare him away, he'll just come back and rob us while we're gone at a later date, or worse, come back and kill us at night or something. For that reason, I decide the best thing to do is shoot the guy when he gets inside the house. So we wait for him. I woke up before he even got in the house.

Question is, what would you guys do? I'm not interested in killing anyone, and I've never been robbed, burglarized, or held at gunpoint, so I really have no idea how I would react if this actually happened. I know that in my state, there would be nothing illegal about simply waiting inside with a firearm, and shooting when the burglar entered the home. Ethically though, I believe that would be wrong.

I have to admit though, thinking about it now, I think this actually would occur to me...
I was thinking that if I scare him away, he'll just come back and rob us while we're gone at a later date, or worse, come back and kill us at night or something.
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I know it would be difficult to get over the feeling that the house isn't safe anymore if it did happen, and the burglar simply ran off and wasn't caught. My wife would probably insist that we move. She's home alone with our one-year-old daughter for 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. Even I wouldn't feel too safe anymore; and I'd be extremely uncomfortable leaving my wife and daughter home alone so much while I go off to work.

Would you make noise and let a burglar know that you actually are home? Call the police while slipping out the back of the house? Stay inside quietly, call the police, and wait with a gun? None of the above?
 
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For whatever reason, he doesn't see my wife or I on the inside of the door, despite a glass window in the top of it (which we see him through).
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This will happen if you have a bright stoop light and a dark interior. The burglar will see only his reflection in the glass.
Would you make noise and let a burglar know that you actually are home? Call the police while slipping out the back of the house? Stay inside quietly, call the police, and wait with a gun? None of the above?
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  • Make sure door is locked (deadbolt thrown). Consider barricading if that can be done quickly.
  • Retrieve gun (or guns if more than one armed defender) if you're not wearing one, or if you can get a better one quickly.
  • Secure unarmed family members (if not already done).
  • Call police (unarmed family members or second armed defender can do that).
  • Take up position behind cover in view of door.
  • If door has not yet broken and burglar has not yet left, loudly challenge: "STOP! WE'RE ARMED! WE WILL FIRE!"
Then, let the burglar decide what happens next.

If he flees, remember that the police are on their way expecting to find an armed intruder inside your house. Make sure they don't decide you are the armed intruder.

Afterward, reassess your security: door, locks/barricade, alarms, lights, etc. Or reassess your neighborhood, if that is prudent.
 
Loosedhorse gives good advice but what to do afterwards it doesn't directly address the issue of how secure you and your wife actually feel now. Security is a state of mind and your state of mind has changed. What many people do when they are faced with a threatening situation is equip themselves to deal with it. You have done this by preparing yourself for armed self defense, but this preparation only applies when you are present. It appears you are concerned about the times you are not present. YOU ARE CONCERNED NOW! Your dream is your subconscious recognizing that concern and communicating it to your consciousness. This dream has changed your state of mind and you feel less secure now regarding her safety. Dont wait until your wife's state of mind changes. Take steps NOW to improve her safety when you are not present. Do you have an alarm system? A neighborhood watch program? Is she trained to competency in armed self defense?
 
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Dreams are a funny thing that we modern westerners ignore. Sometimes a dream is no more than your subconscious working through a problem that has been bothering you, other times it could be a warning, in your case I would take it as both, not because something is imminent but because it could happen.
When I was a cop, I had a period where I would have the typical cop-nightmare of shooting a suspect that wouldn't go down. I now believe that it is nothing more than a stress induced dream and maybe that's what is happening to you. OTOH, sometimes dreams like these can be positive such as motivating you to harden your house and perhaps build a safe-room for your family, not because something will happen but because it could.
Questions I would ask myself for the reason having this dream:
A) Did I read/hear/see something on the news or real life that pertains to this subject?
B) Have I been dwelling on this for problem in an awake but subconscious mode?
C) Why has this subject been lurking in my thoughts?
D) What will give me peace of mind?
In your position, I would do a quick fix for now (especially if money is tight), choose the securest room you have (MBR is probably the best), harden the entry points, make some type of redoubt that will absorb bullets (heavy captains bed, bookshelves lined with thick books), permanent cellular connection (pay as you use cell phone just for emergencies), wireless monitored alarm, rifle or shotgun (if your wife is not a shooter than a nice Ruger 10/22 with a 25rd magazine could be a great SD weapon). Time is the enemy, both for the victim and the criminal so she needs to buy time and all of the above will help her do that. It is also just a start but she needs to be taught (if she doesn't have the mindset) that this is her safe place for just-in-case. Of course if money is not a problem then harden your entire house and teach your wife to let her female instincts guide her, buy her The Gift of Fear by Gavin de _____ and she may learn something.
 
Avoid the incident...

Scare him away quickly and safely.

(It was just part of a dream that he will return and kill you. IRL he won't.)

I don't want to replace my door, hardware and frame.
-So I won't sit there and wait until he busts it to get inside.

I don't want to be part of endless police incident reports and investigations.
-So I won't shoot him if I can avoid it easily and safely.

I don't want to clean up his HIV blood from my carpet, upholstery, and walls.
-I certainly don't want to shoot him inside the house if I can avoid it.

Scare the butthead away. Safely, quickly, then call the police.
 
I'd say "Scat, goober!"

If that didn't work...

"Get de gun 'Liz-beth, CHOOT EM!"
 
The "school solution" to that sort of situation, from the NRA's Personal Protection In The Home class, is to warn a potential intruder away by shouting, "GO AWAY, I have a gun, and I will shoot. The police have been called and are on their way." Consider looking for a local instructor and taking this class, with your wife... http://www.nrainstructors.org/searchcourse.aspx .

The advice to upgrade your home's resistance to intrusion is well worth examining. Keep in mind, many burglar alarms have a panic button function. Dogs can be a valuable part of home security as well.
 
I cannot improve on LoosedHorse's advice.

The only thing that I would add is that you are calling him a "burglar".

While that may be his intention, it may not. He might be a would-be rapist, murderer, arsonist or just a crackhead trying to get out of the cold.

Don't try to assign intent. He should be treated as the greatest threat you can imagine.

as Clausewitz said (not an exact quote) "Do not plan for your enemy's intent, but for his capabilities.”
 
I don't want to replace my door, hardware and frame.
-So I won't sit there and wait until he busts it to get inside...

Scare the butthead away.
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Why are you assuming he will scare? If you were on the street unarmed and approached by a robber, would you stick your hand in your jacket and say, "Go away or I'll shoot" without being able to back it up?

As soon as you announce yourself, you give away tactical surprise. As I said in my post, I am not prepared to give away a tactical advantage until I have arranged other, even better tactical advantages.

As I also said, once you announce, the decision of what to do is now his. He probably will run away, but he may feel bold enough to enter, perhaps assuming he can do so before you call the police (maybe he's already cut your phone lines outside). He is especially likely to feel bold if he is armed, or on drugs.

If, on hearing you, he stops fiddling with the door and just kicks it in, gun in hand--and you are unarmed and haven't called 911-- you might then wish you had cared less about your doorframe's safety than your own.

Hey, some people like to bluff when they feel odds are in their favor. Others want to take the big stakes off the table, even if that means losing small. Different styles.
While that may be his intention, it may not.
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Good point. Thanks.
 
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Guillermo said:
as Clausewitz said (not an exact quote) "Do not plan for your enemy's intent, but for his capabilities.”
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I like that quote, never heard it. Thanks.

And thanks to everyone else who responded, obviously. Definitely given me some things to think about. Thankfully, my wife is extremely open to the SD mindset, and she has no problem with handling firearms. A dog is something we're strongly considering for the near future. We did plan to wait until our third (and last) child is at least 12 months old before buying a puppy, which would make it a few years - we're only on number 1 of 3 [kids]. :p

We'll see though. Again, I appreciate the advice, along with any more that comes in.
 
I've seen it attributed to Schwarzkopf...

Judge your enemy based upon capabilities, not intent, you have to look at the enemy and really almost make a worst case call every time.
Norman Schwarzkopf
 
Your dream is your anxiety over not having a clear plan and mind set. I will always arm myself and dial 911 on a land line. Even if I set the phone down to take care of business, there is an audio recording of the event that can't be twisted by a prosecutor. I will not say anything threatening that conveys my intent to kill, only "I have a gun."
In the event you kill an intruder you need to have a legal plan. That's where the nightmare can really start.
 
This has probably been said many times before so I apologize if it is redundant, but
when it comes to target hardening your house, there are things that many people do not consider. Your front door, for instance. if you are worried about your door frame being splintered, perhaps you should replace it with a steel frame. Now, not after a break-in. Do you have glass doors? Do you have dead bolts on the doors? Fire safety recommends all dead bolts on exit doors should be single cylinder, key lock on the outside, thumb lever on the inside so it will be easy to unlock in case of fire. On a glass door, it is also easy to unlock in case of burglary. Glass doors should have double cylinder dead bolts requiring a key from both sides. Keep a key near each door but out of reach from the outside. Make sure everyone in the house knows where the keys are. If the glass door is full height decorative glass, the type of dead bolt or door frame doesn't matter, It's a step-thru door once the glass is broken out.

Front doors are usually the last choice unless they are hidden from the street. If the front door is hidden by bushes, consider a new landscape plan. A shattered front door that is visible from the street is more likely to attract attention than a backdoors that is less visible and affords burglars more time to work unobserved. .

Fire codes require bedrooms to have egress windows that are easy to kick out and are large enough for a person to exit through. That means they are large enough for a person to enter through, also. A properly designed window should be difficult to open from the outside, egress or not, but some egress windows are designed to be easy open from the outside for ease of rescue. You have to make a choice.

Remember, you can't do anything to prevent a burglary attempt. What you can do is deter one. Burglar bars can be compromised, but they do require more effort. They can't prevent entry but they can deter the attempt. Burglars are lazy. That may be why they are burglars. They will seek the softest targets when they have a choice so give them a choice. Make your house the tightest on the block. Then, when the burglars hit your neighbors, you may be able to call 911 for them in relative safety.

On this note, daytime burglars will usually try to hit a vacant house, They will usually try to run if they find a house is occupied. Nighttime burglars who are willing to work when the occupants are asleep are a different sort. Because of the higher risk of getting caught, they may be prepared to injure or kill you to escape. Home invaders are not strictly burglars, they are armed robbers. The very fact they are armed makes them the most dangerous. But as was said earlier, do not prepare for your adversary's intent, prepare for his capabilities. That means that when you are present, every attempt is a home invasion.
 
As someone once said, "forewarned is forearmed". I'll stay in my home, take cover and have my wife call 911. If he enters he'll be shot.
 
It sounds like you are asking in a round about way if it best to ensure the person breaking in does not get away for your peace of mind or to prevent him from coming back. I think it highly unlikely that a robber targeting a random house would come back if chased off the first time around. Also, remember that if you do kill a criminal there could then theoretically be angry friends and family to worry about which seems far more likely than a burglar trying to hit the same house a second time after being confronted by the home owner. If i had a break in and the invader complied to my commands to surrender i would hold him until LE arrived but would certainly not shoot unless necessary.
 
Question is, what would you guys do? I'm not interested in killing anyone, and I've never been robbed, burglarized, or held at gunpoint, so I really have no idea how I would react if this actually happened. I know that in my state, there would be nothing illegal about simply waiting inside with a firearm, and shooting when the burglar entered the home. Ethically though, I believe that would be wrong.
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In my opinion there is nothing unethical with protecting your family and yourself from harm, even to the point of using deadly force.
There is no way that you can ever be certain of a criminal's intentions.
He may be there to steal your valuables or he may be there to rape and sodomize your wife and children while you are tied up and forced to watch.

Most thieves will try to make sure the home is empty before they break in.
They will ring the door bell, bang on the window, or knock on the back door to see if anyone answers.
If someone answers the door they will make up some excuse like "I'm looking for Mike Smith and I was given this address" or "I saw your car there and I was wondering if it's for sale", etc...
Someone who breaks in without making sure the home is empty is probably not just a thief.
He is probably someone much more dangerous.


I'm glad I live in NC.
Per NC law:

You may use deadly force to prevent an intruder from forcibly entering your home if the circumstances would lead a reasonably prudent person to believe that the intruder intends to commit a felony or kill or cause great bodily harm to persons in the home. This legal concept is called “defense of habitation”.

In the dream situation you describe, I would shoot the guy through the door window to prevent him from entering my home.
 
JustinJ said:
If i had a break in and the invader complied to my commands to surrender i would hold him until LE arrived but would certainly not shoot unless necessary.
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While you do make a compelling argument, many people feel that holding a suspect at bay for enroute LEOs puts you at great risk. Additionally, be aware that depending on how your state's criminal statutes are written, you may be committing unlawful imprisonment by doing so. In Arizona you would be, despite the fact that the burglar was doing something illegal before you held him. I'm not saying you would be charged (I think it'd be ridiculous if any prosecutor tried), just that it is a possibility.

Something to be mindful of.
 
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you may be committing unlawful imprisonment
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You would not be. Nor assault with a deadly weapon, nor kidnapping, nor any other crime. Doesn't mean your captive might not claim that. And I suppose that you might even be charged. Supposing you get 911 on the line immediately, then your are simply holding a criminal who broke into your house for the police to arrest. Simply; yeah right.

I worry more about the other dangers of holding a suspect. Are you going to handcuff him and search him? If not, you are going to hold him, unsearched, and shoot him...when? As he heads to the door to leave? As he moves his hand in the direction of an assumed gun...that he later turns out not to have (great; you shot an unarmed man--maybe in the back, maybe in the back of the head. What's the charge for that? :eek:)

Or maybe, to avoid that awful possibility, you'll wait to shoot him...after he shoots you.

Not sure I'm seeing the upsides of holding someone for arrest.
 
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Loosedhorse said:
I worry more about the other dangers of holding a suspect. Are you going to handcuff him and search him? If not, you are going to hold him, unsearched, and shoot him...when? As he heads to the door to leave? As he moves his hand in the direction of an assumed gun...that he later turns out not to have (great; you shot an unarmed man--maybe in the back, maybe in the back of the head. What's the charge for that? :eek:)
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Great points, thanks for pointing them out.

Arizona Revised Statute title 13-1303. A. States that a person commits unlawful imprisonment by knowingly restraining another person.

13-1303. B. States that, in prosecution of unlawful imprisonment, it is a defense if:
1. The restraint was accomplished by a peace officer...
OR
2. The defendent is a relative of the person restrained...

You sure one wouldn't be committing it in the given circumstances? Sure seems cut and dry to me. At least regarding the letter of the law, if not the spirit.
 
You sure one wouldn't be committing it in the given circumstances?
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Only someone who can predict a jury can be sure of anything. But, if the robber comes at you with a knife--you're not actually going to shoot him, are you? There are laws against shooting people, just as there are laws against unlawful imprisonment.
 
If this happened in real life and you shot the burglar, even outside in the yard, you would probably have no legal problems because a crow bar is a deadly weapon.
 
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